#imma overshare lol but idk feel free to ignore or give advice or what ever you want

[radiantjimin]

I need to have a mini tag word vomit, don’t mind me 😅

#negativity #tw #ed cw #okay #so #imma overshare lol but idk feel free to ignore or give advice or what ever you want #I’m not in a good place and while I’m not in an emotional depressive episode #I gotta think #I don’t finish shit #I think that’s the main issue I’m facing #and it’s stopping me from moving forward in my life and causing all these other unhealthy ripple effects like my ed relapse #I tend to blame my parents a lot because they do tend to doubt I can do things or they get offended at the idea that I want to move out #but this is my problem because I’m the one not finishing goals or standing my ground or really proving that I can handle things #I do have severe social anxiety but so do other people #I can finish school and I can find work and I can live on my own #I’m an adult #even if my family doesn’t see me as one #I just can’t stay like this because I feel like I’m just existing at this point doing the bare minimum so my parents don’t worry #but it’s lonely and frustrating and I want to to be a healthier person mentally for myself and my family and my best friend #I’m just terrified honestly because I don’t have that self trust and I know that only comes from facing what I’m afraid of #I made so much progress the year I turned 21 and then I came home to the literal worst year of my life #and I honestly think it set me back further than when I started #there’s about 5 things I feel like I need to accomplish and idk how I’m gonna do it but #1) I need to graduate but idk know how I’m gonna pay for it or where I’m gonna go or what I have left #2) I need to have a healthier relationship with weightloss because I need to lose weight but I know my way and reasons are wrong #3) if nothing else I need a job because it’s honestly embarrassing to be unemployed until this late in life #and I feel so terrible about anything I do that costs anything because it’s not as if my family has money #4) embarrassingly I want to find a relationship because I haven’t and I know it’s because I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone rn #5) I need to be okay with being independent even if my parents might not agree #i just....want to be healthy inside and out. I don’t want to feel guilty and embarrassed for existing