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stainedglasseyesx · 7 years

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I’m fine. Thank you. How about you?

A mutual reminding session.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Via marriage, we get:

1. to be civilised servants of Allah

- A man gets to be a man.

- There’s this uncle that Brother A knows. His daughter ran away from home for 2 years. She went to this guy and told him and his parents “ahh mak jahat, bapak jahat” (my mum is bad, my dad is bad) and his parents ‘symphatized’ her and invited her to stay with them. After 2 years, the girl bunting (pre-marital pregnancy). And the ‘best’ part is, the guy’s parents chase the girl out.

- “The single and primary most important dimension in marriage is the spiritual dimension where you take a partner in order for the two of you to work together towards that goal of becoming pleasing to your Lord” - Shaykh Hamza Yusuf

2. Love

- If love is mentioned and the first thing you think about is sexual intercourse, then you have an unhealthy mind. Some people get married but don’t even get that (because their partner doesn’t want it or have sicknesses etc.).

- There’s a family that came to Brother A and the whole family wanted their mum to divorce their dad. And their dad is 60 yrs old. Which is sad because that man raised them. No matter how bad he is, he still raised them normally with no scars on their hands nor any dents on their heads. Don’t they symphatise their dad?

- In the end of times, people will be doing maksiat and others will tell them a better place to do it. Na’udzubillah min dzalik

- The continuation of the story of the girl who ran away from home and got pregnant: She called her dad (just a few days ago), and said, “Dad, can you walk through my pregnancy with me? I have no one. The guy’s family chased me out. Mum hates me. If you walk through my pregnancy with me, I know that you are here for me.” And the dad replied, “No, I will not walk through your pregnancy with you.” And the daughter started to cry. Then the dad continued, “I will walk through your LIFE with you.” And that is love.

- In Tariim, Brother A saw a white man sitting, looking up at the sky and smiling. He approached the man and offered him dates (kurma/tamar). Then Brother asked him, “What are you looking at?” He replied, “I’m looking at nothing.” Brother asked again, “Why are you smiling for?” He replied, “I’m smiling because I am happy.” Brother continued to ask, “Are you married?” He said, “Yes.” Again, Brother asked, “For how long?” He answered, “12 years.” Brother kept the conversation going, “How many kids?” He still kept on smiling and replied, “None, alhamdulillah.” Brother A got shocked. How could he said ‘Alhamdulillah’? Shouldn’t it be ‘Na’udzubillah’? At that point of time, Brother A was married for 8 years and had no child. And so he asked the man, “Why did you say Alhamdulillah?” The man said “because during our time, couples hold hands like this *shows pinky finger linked with pinky finger*. But now, it is no more that. It is sexual intercourse. When I die, no one will stop me, except for my wife. There will be no child stopping me and pointing his finger at me and telling Allah ‘Ya Allah, I became like this because of my dad Ya Allah. He didn’t teach me this and this ya Allah.”

- Love is when Sayyiduna Bilal رضي الله عنه quit doing the azan because he could’nt even mention the name of Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم or he would cry.

- Love is when Sayyiduna Abu Bakar رضي الله عنه said that he only kissed the black stone (hajar aswad) because Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم kissed it. And in fact, he is not kissing the hajar aswad, he is kissing the ‘bekas’ of Rasulullah’s kiss. And if it wasn’t because of that, he wouldn’t even want to kiss it.

- “O My servants! I have forbidden oppression for Myself, and I have made it forbidden amongst you, you do not oppress one another . O My servants, all of you are astray except those whom I have guided, so seek guidance from Me, and I shall guide you.” (Muslim)

- Before getting married, you have to find out first how his/her family is like. Because when you get married, you are not only marrying him/her. You are marrying his/her whole family.

- Don’t make marriage your life goal. You goal in life is to find Allah.

3. Happiness

- Happiness is non-egocentric. Others before self.

- Happiness is manners. Manners is serving others. Manners for a muslim is different from others of different faith. E.g. In a British video that was teaching about manners, it teaches to not finish the food we are eating but to leave a little leftover. Because to them, finishing everything makes you seem greedy. But in Islam, we are taught to not waste food. (and the barakah of the food lies at the end of it; that is the last grains). Manners is (mendahulukan or) putting the elders first before the young. E.g. When eating with family, let your dad start eating first, then the rest start. And in majlis, the youngsters serve food to the elders first then you eat. If you are a guest and when sit in a majlis (or someone’s house etc), and you take out your phone and keep swiping it, then you are not good.

The good is from Allah and the one who shared all this in his session, and the bad is from me.

Wallahu ‘alam bissawwab.

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