#it just feels cathartic to say something then take it back hahahah | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dp1nk · 4 years

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and now for something a little different - something i found the other day, buried deep in the catacombs of my old blog

it’s a passage from a fanfic where mei is the villain. zarya is suspicious of her, and ends up suspended from training over it. in this part of the story, d.va, her good friend, tries to give her some therapy. what could possibly go wrong?

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Hana brings you to the gymnasium and you both sit down near a ball rack. You pour as much of your heart out as you can - about today, and the past two days. You explain, most importantly, why you’re so wary of Mei, and why you felt the need to do what you did the night she offered her coat to you.

“Okay… I’m just gonna be honest,” Hana says, staring into her phone thoughtfully, after she takes in about five uninterrupted minutes of your problems.

You prepare yourself for her judgement. You just bore your deepest, darkest secrets to her, something you don’t do with just anybody. You’re confident that she’d be just as candid with you, like the good friend you’ve always known the girl to be.

“…I think Mei’s a bitch too.”

Your eyes are as wide as saucers. You weren’t expecting her to agree…

“I still don’t get why you had to ‘destroy the coat!!’” She jokingly mocks your voice as she says it, “but thanks for doing that. Feels good knowing that was you.”

Hana snickers, thumbing through a website. She adds after a pause, “I figured it was when she told everyone. She was playing it off like a victim. Winston’s ‘concerned for her safety’ around you, lol.”

You look at the hand exerciser you’ve been squeezing over and over while talking; you found it in a crate of equipment, and fidgeting with it has been cathartic.

“He should be. She broke Lena’s nose. She is due for a broken face.” Your voice deepens. “I will move it to the back of her skull with my fist.”

“Damn, you really do hate her,” Hana glances up at you. “That sounds fuuucked up. Holy shit, Zarya.” She goes back to scrolling, mumbling, “jeff kaplan, is that what war does to people… brains all over the place… i can’t fucking un-see that now…”

You shrug. “It is how I feel. You told me to tell you everything going through my mind.”

She nods and laughs as she puts her phone away, standing up and walking over to a ball rack near the two of you. “Yeah yeah. Well come over here and move these. Beating the shit out of something is supposed to help you calm down. I just read a Tumblr post about it.”

As you follow D.Va’s lead and inspect the different sport balls available to you, you wonder how you didn’t think of that yourself. She finds a basketball she likes and dribbles it in front of her, then turns to try and shoot it into a nearby basket. It lands. She pumps a fist for herself. “Hell yeah, two points!”

You pick up a volleyball, turning it around in your hands. Hana sees this and encourages you. “Yeah, what you need is some of that rigorous physical activity! I know you. Hit the ball as hard as you can across the gym, it’ll feel good.”

Your eyes narrow as you stare at the ball. You don’t even see a ball anymore, really. Now, you’re holding Mei’s stupid, ugly head, and she’s laughing right to your face.

“You’re such a salty, raging bitch, Zarya! Hahah!”

You scowl at her. “Why did you try to kill me!?”

She gives you a sarcastic look of guilt. Your grip on her tightens as you hear her answer. “I didn’t try to kill you, muscle-for-brains. You know how the saying goes… Shit happens. Right?”

Your heart rate is climbing, and you’re shaking a little, and D.Va is staring hard, but you feel as if you’re not with her anymore. All you can focus on is Mei, the evil, nose-breaking Ice Bitch.

“Hahahah, just you wait. I’m gonna get you fired! And then I’m gonna ruin your reputation with everyone. You will never recover.” Ice Bitch smugly grins. “…and once I finish with that, I’m gonna fuck your wife.”

You actually gasp at her audacity. Wow. She really went there. Your blood-red nails dig into the volleyball and burst it with an explosive ‘POP!’. You waste no time tearing the deflated material in half.

“NO YOU’RE NOT!” You slam the ball to the floor and spend a good while stomping it flat under your shoe. Once you’re done, you shoot a dirty glare right to D.Va, nearly hyperventilating in fury.

She throws her hands up defensively. “Look, I have no idea what just happened, I’m not judging you… but m-maybe we should switch to pillows…”

#stories #dp1nk #this was the first fanfic i ever wrote #both for overwatch and in general #mei #zarya #d.va

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smasss · 6 years

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lmao i feel like one of my goals this year is to tell those people who like to point out patterns in my art work how even more repetitive and limited their work is. like 2 can play the game. you like to use the same colours ahh, you always draw humans hor, you like to use rounded edges leh. I honestly find this behaviour super puzzling coming from people who do art. I dont understand how they don’t feel that vulnerability when showing people their work, that they don’t feel the need to at the very least show some form of appreciation. Maybe im a noob or something and i need to be told that my work has some merit. But to be honest, most of the time i get this kinds of remarks from super cui artist. more specifically , people in my school who only draw like really lame anime stuff in pencil, marker, whatever. and don’t even paint,model,do graphic design stuff. So i just feel fucking weird sitting there taking their remark on how limited/repetitive i am when clearly they needa be sat down and put in their place lol. ( YESSS I KNOW HOW FUCKING ARROGANT THIS SOUNDS, but i guess the only way i can make you understand this is just imagine a child with primary school schedule telling an adult that he’s not managing his time well ) . Thats the best analogy i can think of at this moment at 1 in the morning hahahaha. Personally,when people show me their art, I always zoom straight into the things i like. and make sure to tell whoever did it what i love about it, because I think focusing on positive aspects of peoples art is the more constructive than trying to point out all the flaws. Also, maybe its just me, but i always try to vibe with the artist. y’know try to see where they’re going with their style and just feel it, and enjoy the aesthetics. Idk why some people just have to show their clear dislike for a certain style and make it so obvious to them that “its not their style” as if their taste is like indicative benchmark of quality. In any case, does it really hurt so much to just throw in a little compliment? surely there’s something nice to say when somebody genuinely tries to create something from his imagination. Im sure all creators regardless of experience and numbness to other peoples opinion crave some form of appraisal. if not, their just some working weird robot sadist who only likes criticism and creates completely out of necessity.I just find this kind of people fucking weird la to be honest. what is so wrong with admitting you seek some form of validation? Like does it make you less professional, mature, a better artist? I dont think so *rolls eyes* Maybe im just super super super terrible at my art and cannot see it at all, so the only comment they can give is something completely neutral/factual and they have to refrain from commenting any more. BUT if that is so then i think its only fair that i make it known to them how shitty i think their work is too by making superrrr neutral remarks. like ohh you only use marker ah, how come you only draw anime girls, you always just use flat colours leh hahahah ok call be bitter, childish, greedy for compliments, whatever. I know it that someone’s inability to compliment, or appreciate has 0 impact on my quality of work., but isn't it just more cathartic, fun and real to slap them back with the same treatment ahhahaha. Some times i honestly feel like im too generous with compliments and sensitive to people’s feelings. so i get disappointed when im not treated the same way. maybe its better to just go out and be a real bitch ahahahhaha If you’re wondering what triggered such a pegro rant, it was just some guy in my class commenting on how vectors are my primary medium ( note he has definitely seen a lot more of my work ). Then after i told him it was note, he switched topic to how he saw my digital painting stuff in the library and he was like “ you like to use a very distinctive pallete ah”, and i was like yea yea yea. Afterwards he shifted the question to asking me what kind of artist i was and even before i could talk about how i mostly do digital illustration, he was like “ 3d artist ? “ . AIya i know youre thinking im just fucking over reacting ahahhaha , and i probably am to slight degree. but it just bugs me a little that this guy has never ever ever once said anything good or bad about my art. Do i sound like a little kid ? hahahha But yaaa its just fucking puzzling la that somebody can go so long looking at your art and never once telling you anything good or bad, just completely neutral statments about what medium youre using, what colours youre choosing, how you draw, and not whether the colours youre choosing are pleasing/enjoyable, whether the lines are dynamic, fun ? also on a separate occasion, i had a senior looked at my work ( the one with all the rpg characters ) and completely said nothing for like a good fucking 30 seconds. I kid you not okay. I will fucking link you to their work if you want me to ahahhaha, then you will know why its so frustrating that these people are so damn stingy with their compliments, and tell me whether or not i should make it known to them too that their work blowsssssssssssssss

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