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#it’s also an absolute mutt like a mix of about 6 breeds that they aren’t 100% sure of
mickeym4ndy · 2 months
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Post-canon headcanon that the first time Ian has to go for a long weekend away without Mickey (brothers trip or something) he’s anxious to get home because Mickey’s been a bit ~~weird~~ on the phone while Ian’s been away, ending the phone calls too quickly and stuff.
And then he gets home to his husband sitting too still on the couch and Ian’s like “what did u do this weekend” “……nothing…” and Ian knows immediately something’s up and just when he’s about to ask more he hears barking from another room. And mickeys just like 😳
And then all of a sudden Ian’s being jumped on by a giant excited ball of fur and he’s just like “… oh what did u do”
And mickeys just like “she was sleeping under the tracks Ian I couldn’t just leave her there it’s cold and she was hungry look at her she clearly hasn’t been eating properly! And u should’ve seen the shelter nearby it was miserable she would’ve hated it there!”
And Ian knows that right now is not a good time because they’re expanding the business and there’s so much going on and they’re already so busy… but he takes one look at his husbands pleading face and knows that this dog is not going anywhere
And at first Ian’s like fine but ur taking care of her and she sleeps in a crate “but Ian-” “she’s not sleeping in the bed Mickey”
BUT then he becomes the epitome of ‘dad and the dog he didn’t want’ and he insists on buying her the expensive name brand food because “she doesn’t like the other stuff mick it upsets her stomach” and the expensive dog shampoo bc “she’s more comfortable when we use this stuff mick” even tho mickeys like she was sleeping on the streets and eating trash when I found her but ok
Then Mickey gets home late one night after helping Sandy with something to find his husband already in bed and Mickeys side of the bed is taken up by some familiar fur. Mickey laughs as he gets ready for bed “she’s not sleeping in the bed Mickey” he mocks
“shut up. get in here” Ian mumbles sleepily and Mickey just laughs as he slots himself into bed between his husband and the dog
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thewakeless · 5 years
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A Christmas Tail
A Christmasy One Shot about dnp through the eyes a lovable mutt.  Mostly soft fluf.
Of all the humans in the cage-place Maggie had always been Winston’s favorite.  She was young, and smelled like cats, with silver bracelets rattling at her wrists. Every morning when she passed his cage she would lean down and say: “Hello Winston, aren’t you a good boy today?” She’d stretch out her hand through the bars, and he would feel her soft dark fingers going through his fur, and finding that special spot just behind his ear that made him flop down on the ground and show her his tummy.
Just like all the dogs and cats in the place every human had a favorite, and Winston’s was Maggie’s.  She would bring him treats, and spend an extra long time on their weekly walks.  They would go into the Park, and she’d be patience as he stopped at every tree, sniffing it all.  She never pulled his leash, and she never hurried him up like the other humans.  But what Winston liked best was that she talked to him on their walk:
“It’s a nice day today isn’t it? Maybe we’ll go all the way to the River.”
“Aw, aren’t you handsome today Winston? The blue collar looks much better on you than the orange one.”
Sometimes, after the first part of their walk, they would sit down on a bench and she would pet him, and he would lick her fingers.  “If I didn’t already have four cats Winston you’d be coming home with me this Christmas,” she said one time as she brought him back to his cage.  She knelt on the ground and hugged him.  “I’ll see Monday boy.”
He stayed by the bars, looking at her in her turquoise coat as she vanished out the door.  He let out a little whimper, and lay down, his head rested on his paws.  The weekends were a very bad time.  On the weekends a lot of strangers came.  Not Marty, or Donna, no Leah, or Maggie, these strangers came in once, looked around and then never came back.  Sometimes they even took dogs and cats with them, but not always.  They often came in a herd, with young once, or friends and they commented on all of them: on their faces, and paws, on their medical history and age.  It was scary; Winston was very scared of them.
Many times they would come over and look at him.  But when they did he would back away into the corner.  “What’s wrong with him?” they would say.
“Oh, Winston’s very shy,” one of the humans would answer.  “He was given up when he was only 6 months old, and he’s been with us ever since.”
And then the strangers would say that was too bad.  Sometimes, Donna would open his cage and they would come on.  The younglings always wanted to touch him, but the parents held them back.  Once or twice they wanted to take Winston away, but in the end it had never happened.  And that was good, because when a dog or a cat went away they never came back.  He had seen it happen a lot of times, too many times, and he also knew what happened out there, with strangers.  In the cage-place it was all okay.  There was always food.  Everyone was nice.  They went out to the yard every day and on walks every week.  It was as good a life as any Winston could imagine, plus he had Maggie, and he loved Maggie.
On Monday she came in as always, with a big smile, and she went into everyone’s cage to change their food and water. When she got to Winston she sat down on the ground with him, and had him rolling on the floor as she rubbed his belly.  “We got people coming today,” she said.  “And they wanna look at you,” she said in a tone that made him look up.
He cocked his head to the side, confused.
She laughed.  “Why is that surprising, you’re a charmer.”
He looked at her with big black eyes.
She sighed. “Okay, I may have lied a little. So they want a small, quiet, cuddly, apartment dog, which is you basically, but-“she gave out a nervous laugh.  “But they also want a corgi which you are most definitely not, and I didn’t mention that part.”
Winston gave out a little bark.
“Hey it’s not a proper lie; it’s a lie by omission.  I just had to do it.  They were really nice on the phone, and they had a million questions, and I don’t know something just told me to go for it. You know?” her hand went to pet the top of his head again.  “You’re a good boy, and you’ve been in here too long. I just saw my chance and went with it.”
She surveyed him.  Winston was very far from a posh-purebred corgi.  At the very best he was a terrier mix, but in truth he was nothing but a very cute mutt.  He was light brown in color, with grey at his ears and around his snout and beautiful black eyes that were more expressive and intelligent than any other dog in the place. It was probably very unprofessional,” she said. “But if it means getting you out of here I don’t give a shit.”
“Paw?” she said and he obliged, giving her his front right paw.  She shook it.
“Winston you can’t just be shy today, you have to be yourself,” she said looking at him sternly.  “You hear me? You just have to make these people fall in love with you, like I did.” She stood up.  “See you in a bit,” she said before closing the cage.
Once she left Winston went to his food bowl and had his breakfast.  He drank water till his whiskers were wet, and then lay down on his little blue bed in the corner of the room.  He stayed like that for a while, until he heard Cakepop yapping. Cakepop was a four pound Chihuahua that always knew the second someone opened the front door, and as soon as she rang the alarm everyone else was up.  Some were barkers like Cakepop, and went straight to the bars of the cage; others were like Winston and retreated to their little corner.
There were voices outside, male voices, and then Maggie. His tale wagged.  Maggie was gonna bring strangers in, which was bad, but at least he would get to see Maggie again.  After a few minutes the door swung open, and she came in, two very tall males following her.  “Here’s where we keep all the animals.  Right now we have 18 dogs, 11 cats, and 1 bunny.”
They started walking down the hall.  “Oh, that one is really cute Dan.  Oh my god.”
“Phil, we talked about this, we’re only brining 1 dog home.”
“But, they’re all so cute-“he said as they paused in front Daisy the half-Pomeranian.  “I mean look at her.”
“She’s precious, but she’s a bit of a barker, and considering the fact you live in an apartment that might not be the best fit-“ said Maggie.  He looked over his shoulder at the three figures.  They were getting closer.  “There was the dog I was talking to you about on the phone; he’s seemed to fit all the things you listed.”
“The corgi?”
Maggie made a funny noise. “His name is Winston and he’s almost 3 years old.  He’s quiet, very smart, cuddly; the only thing is that he’s a bit shy.”
“A fellow introvert?”
She laughed.  “Exactly.  But you’ll see he’s really a very special dog.”
The footsteps were growing closer, and Winston buried his face in his bedding.  What was Maggie doing brining strangers in? He whimpered as he heard his cage open.  A moment later he could smell her kneeling down beside him.  “Hey Winston these nice dudes wanna say hi to you,” she rubbed at his ear and he arched back into her touch.  She petted him again.  “Come on,” she took a step back, waiting. Winston’s dark eyes look at the two strangers by the door, but then his gaze fixed on Maggie’s smile and cautiously he took a step away from the bed.
“Very good boy,” she a treat of the pocket of her jacket and stood up.  “Sit.”
He did.
“Very nice.” She threw up in the air and he caught it easily with his mouth.  It was peanut butter his favorite.  As he ate she turned back to the strangers. “I know he’s not a corgi, but when you were describing your ideal dog Winston was the first thing to come into my mind.” There was a moment of pause when the strangers looked at one another.
“He’s adorable,” said one of them.
“They all are,” hissed the other.
“You can come in and say hi,” said Maggie as she took another treat from her jacket, but instead of giving it to him she handed it to one of the strangers.  Winston took a step back as they moved slowly towards him.
“It’s okay, we’re tall but we’re not scary,” he was holding out the treat for him.
Winston looked from the delicious peanut butter cookie, to the stranger’s face which was nothing like Maggie’s, and then back at her.  “Go on Winston,” she said, and obediently he took the treat and then let the stranger pet him.
“Oh, he’s soft.”
The other one came closer and began touching his ears.  They had giant hands but they were very gentle, barely grazing his fur.  He liked that, and then one of them found the magic spot behind his ear, and before Winston knew what was happening he had flopped down on the floor, paws up, trying to get them to rub his belly.  One of the strangers laughed and whispered something to the other, but neither Winston nor Maggie caught the words.
“How long has he been here?”
“2 and a half years almost,” said Maggie who was looking at them and holding a clipboard against her chest.  “He’s tacking to you really well; he’s usually more cautious around strangers.”
“Well so am I.”
The strangers were rubbing his tummy, and he licked one of their hands which made them laugh again.  For a few minutes they stayed with him and then both of them stood up.  “Is it okay if we spend a couple of days thinking about it, we’ve been waiting to make this decision a really long time.”
If Maggie was at all disappointed she hid it very well.  “Absolutely, but can I say something?”
“Sure.”
“Well I’m not saying Winston’s the only dog for you, but I’m not sure you’d suit a corgi.  They tend to do better with experienced dog owners, they’re very independent, and they shed and bark a lot.  So maybe try looking at other breeds, a Shih Tzu or a poodle perhaps. Just as a suggestion.”
“Thanks, we’ll keep that in mind.” One of them went to the cage door, while the other leaned down to look at Winston.  His eyes were blue.
“Thanks for meeting us today,” he stretched down his hand and Winston licked it, like he did with Maggie.  The stranger laughed and looked back at his friend. “Don’t tell me he’s not perfect?” he said.  Winston cocked his head to the side. “Oh my god, that’s so cute.”
“Yeah, it’s the terrier in him, they do that a lot,” Maggie explained.
“It’s really freakin cute,” said the second stranger.  “But we have to think about it, right?”
The stranger with the blue eyes was looking at Winston strangely. He looked almost sad.  He knelt down again and petted his head. “Do we?”
“Phil.”
Maggie laughed.  “You guys can spend more time here if you want.  I have to get back to reception, but you’re free to stay with him for a bit.”
Something was happening.  He could feel it in the room as he looked around at the three humans.  The stranger at the cage door took a step back in.  “Maybe just for a few minutes.”
“There’s no rush,” Maggie said with a shrug.  She leaned down.  “You’re gonna stay with the nice men Winston.” She petted him and smiled, and then then she was walking towards the cage door.
He let out a whimper as he watched her leave.  Maggie was going.  She was leaving him with strangers.  “I thought you wanted a corgi, you’ve been talking about it for years.”
“Well I thought I did, but just look at him.”
“He’s a little like Colin.”
“He’s smaller, better for the apartment.”
“Yeah, I guess.” One of them sat cross legged in the concrete the other knelt and they were both petting him.
“He has a good personality, don’t you think?”
“Phil, he’s a dog, they all have good personalities.”
“That’s not true and you know it.” He rubbed one of Winston’s ears and at last Winston felt himself relax.  Maggie wouldn’t have left him in here with mean strangers, and these two were okay, they weren’t going to take him anywhere.  “What don’t you like about him?”
“Nothing! He’s nice.”
“But?”
The hands stopped moving and Winston turned his eyes up to their faces.  One of them had brown eyes, big brown eyes like Maggie.  “There’s no ‘but’, it’s just a very serious decision.  We’ve literally spent years talking about this.”
“I know,” said the other, and there was a moment between them. Winston could sense it, some shift in the air.  “I just don’t wanna wait anymore.”
The brown-eyed one laughed.  “You sound like our subscribers.”
“Hey, they’re right.  I mean we’re not touring anymore.  Movies out. Money’s made.   We’re getting our forever house in the next year.  It's good timing, isn’t that why we came?”
“It is.”
“So?”
They stared at each other.  “You really think this is him, or dog, our Dill replacement, our baby?”
“I do.”
“Well, here goes nothing,” said the other stranger, and then he leaned across Winston and kissed his friend.  “Guess we’re gonna be a real family now.”
“We’ve always been a real family.”
He scuffed, and shoved the other playfully.  “You know what I mean.  Like we’re gonna have a child, we’re gonna be parents.”
The blue eyed one gave an exaggerated gasp. “Do our houseplants mean nothing to you?”
“Oh shut up.”
They got up and went to the cage door.  “We’ll be back in a bit,” said one of them.  They were smiling at him, like Maggie did, real, joyful smiles.  Winston curled up in his bedding again as he heard the reception door swing open and then close.  He shut his eyes.  Cakepop was yapping again, and someone else was whimpering, he wasn’t sure who. Those strangers hadn’t been so scary, they were nice even.  They were probably Maggie’s friends.
Winston drifted off to sleep while in the next room Dan and Phil were signing adoption papers.  
*
There was no doubt about it Winston was having a horrible day, the worst day in a long, long time.  Maggie, his Maggie, the Maggie who always gave him treats, and took him on long walks, and called him good boy, had put a leash on him and handed him over to the strangers.  She had hugged him away, tears in her eyes, and a big smile on her face, and then the three of them had gotten in a car and driven away from the cage-place, and everything he knew.
He whimpered in the car, seated between both of the strangers, with one of them holding tight to his leash.  “He’s crying.”
“He was in there a long time; it’ll take him a while to get adjusted.”
Winston gave a particularly loud whimper and gently pawed one of them, looking at him with his big dark eyes.  How did you make humans understand anything?  He wanted to go back to his old blue bed, and to Maggie, and the cage-place where there was food twice a day and nobody to hurt him.  Why would the strangers take him away from that? He whimpered again, but all he got were more pets.
“It’s okay, were almost home,” whispered one of them, which really didn’t help at all.
They were driving further, and he recognized nothing out of the window.  Finally, the car came to a stop in front of a brick building, and one of the strangers got up, pulling his leash.  Winston whimpered. New things were scary.  He felt a hand rub at his ears again.  “We got everything ready for you inside already.”
“We need to get him food.”
“Well, yeah, but we have the bedding and the toys and everything.  He should see that first.”  They walked towards the building.  Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, Winston thought, it could be another cage place, maybe Maggie was even going to visit later.  
It did not look anything like the cage-place.  They went up some stairs and then they were somewhere warm.  There was furniture, and color, and a big TV.  He tried to move and sniff at it, but one of them was holding him back.  “You’re lucky, you’re gonna live in the amazingphil room.”
“My teenage dream.”
There was laughter, and then they were in a bedroom.  It was small, with a single window, and a bed with bright covers. They shut the door, and he whimpered at the sound.  The strangers leaned down and suddenly he felt the leash come off.  They were looking at him expectantly, and everything was so new.  One of them was petting him again.  “This is your new home.”
Home. He did not know that word.  He looked at each of them.  In the cage-place it was easy to tell the humans apart.  Donna was old.  Marty was male.  Leah smelled of Cheetos.  And Maggie was dark and pretty and had cat fur all over her. These two were difficult to tell apart.  They were male, young but not children, with dark hair, pale skin, and the same smell.  It was a good smell.  The one with the brown eyes was dressed all in black, the other wore a red jacket, but he had learned not to trust a human’s colors, they always changed.
“We have a bed for you, and toys and everything-“ he pointed back towards the opposite wall, and Winston turned.  There was a bed there, and without waiting an instant he ran to it.  It wasn’t like his old one, this was one was dark red, and it smelled a little like plastic wrap, but it was softer and warmer.  He turned around on it a few times, before plopping down, his eyes on the strangers.  They were smiling at him, they looked happy.
“He’s so cute.  Do you think it’s too early to take pictures?”
“Nah.”
Winston watched them curiously as they pulled out cellphones and began taking pictures of him.  When he cocked his head to the side they both made awww noises.  “Are you like an odd mixture of happy and scared right now?”
“Definitely,” said the other one, putting his arm around him.  “But that’s parenthood right?”
“Yeah.” They leaned closed to each other and kissed, the sound soft.
“It’s so weird that we’re dads now.”
“Well you’ve always been my daddy.”
The other one elbowed him.  “Oh shut up.”
“Think he’s hungry?”
“It’s been like half an hour, he’s not you.  I’m sure he’s fine.”
“Well I wanna go and buy food anyway, and get it over with.”
“Okay, and then after-“
“Pizza, and anime.”
“Perfect.” The one in red stood up and they kissed again.  “See you in a bit, bye Winston.”
Winston sat up as the door opened and then closed.  The human that was left crawled towards him.  “You really are quiet.  You haven’t barked once, which is good cause our neighbors already hate us, apparently I’m really loud or something.” He petted him.  He was a good petter, and Winston rubbed his head against his knee.
“We’ve never done this before, you’re gonna have to be patience with us. Phil’s never even had a dog.” He was petting him closer to his ear, and then his fingers hit the perfect spot and Winston gave out a little bark and rolled over onto his back.  The human laughed.  “I know dogs just temporarily fill the empty place in my heart, but you’re all kinda great, like the best people I know.  Colin is a good boy, and you’re a good boy too.” He rubbed his belly.  It was nice.
*
It seemed that Winston’s day only got stranger as it went along.  There was no cage.  The space was giant, with a million things to sniff and explore and many closed doors.  There was a metal food bowl filled to the brim and freshwater.  It was warm, and there were lots of nice places to sleep.  But the oddest thing was that the humans never left.  When the second human came back they sat with him a long time, petting him and giving him treats, and then after they went into the big room, and he was given another treat for sitting between them on the couch.
After some TV they went for a very long walk.  He had never seen this part of the city.  He pulled and pulled, and made the humans hurry after him.  But they weren’t mean, they were little like Maggie.  They talked to him and laughed, and petted him.  Afterwards, he thought they might go back to the cage-place, but they didn’t, they were in the brick building again.
“Are you sure he shouldn’t sleep in the room with us?”
“Phil, we agreed!”
“I know, but it seems cruel to leave him all alone.” They were sat on the floor of the amazingphil room, and the blue-eyed human was hugging Winston.
“I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
“But what if he gets lonely.”
“You’re being ridiculous.  He’s been living in a cage all his life.”
“Exactly, don’t you think he deserves better.”
“Well obviously, but that doesn’t mean we’re sleeping with him. Besides, what if I have plans for us tonight?”
“Oh,” the hand touching him stopped. Winston looked from one human to the other.  There was something happening.  He didn’t know what it was called, but he could sense it.  “You have something planned?”
The other one shrugged casually. “Maybe, maybe not, but I mean if you think it’s more important to keep Winston company, I can-”
“God you’re such a twat.  You win.  He’ll stay here.”
They kissed, and petted him before saying: “Goodnight,” and going through the door.
*
It was hard to sleep.  The smells were too different.  The noises confusing.  There were no other dogs, no cats, nothing.  He walked around the room a lot.  He scratched at the door.  He jumped on the big human bed and bit at the pillows.  That was fun.  He pulled them down to the floor, along with comforter and put them over the red bed. He whimpered when he thought of Maggie.  But at some point without realizing it he fell asleep.
He woke up again when he heard the floor creep, and the door open.  One of the humans was there; he was dressed in white and yellow.  “Hello Winston,” he said as Winston ran at him.   Winston licked him.  It had been scary being alone.  The human was not Maggie, but he was not a bad human.  He petted him and then looked over the room.  “Well surprisingly you didn’t pee anywhere, so that’s great.  How about we go out to the yard.”
Go out.  He knew what that meant. Winston gave out a bark and ran a little circle around him.  The human laughed.  He had a nice laugh.  In the big room, he put a leash on him and then they went into a courtyard.  It was a little like the yard at the cage-place, except nicer, and with more plants to smell.  He marked his territory all around the perimeter, but they didn’t stay long.  After about five minutes the human was pulling his leash.
“Come on, we’re gonna go have breakfast,” when Winston ran to him, he leaned down and rubbed at his ears.  It was nice.  Inside the big room, he took the leash off and then poured kibble into the food bowl.  “We’re gonna go on a long walk later when Dan wakes up.”  He left him eating and went to turn on the TV.  Once he’d had a good amount of kibble and drank some water he followed the human, but then abruptly came to a stop.
He let out a bark, and the human on the sofa to look at him.  “What’s wrong don’t you like the Christmas tree?”
There were lights, fairy lights, all around big tree.  It was pretty, very pretty, but he had never seen lights like that.  He ran towards it, sniffing it suspiciously.  “We have more decorations in the gaming room.  We’re gonna have to take some cute pictures with you, so we have to decide which setting is more festive.”
He scratched at the bark until the human called him over.  Reluctantly Winston settled by his side as they watched something on the TV, but he kept his eyes on the lights.  New things were always suspect.  A while later,  one of the doors opened and the second human came.  “Morning.”
He came over and petted him..  “How’d he do?”
“Good, took off some of the bedding and stuff, but he didn’t pee anywhere.”
“Cause he’s a good boy.”
He plopped on the couch and put his head on the other human’s shoulder.  “How’d you sleep?”
“Freaking good after last night.”
He laughed and Winston sat back down, he was between them and it was warm.  He put one of his paws on the yellow pajama pants and then looked up at them until someone was petting him again.  “This is nice.  He really is calm.”
“Yeah, I told you he was good.”
“You did.”
There was the sound of kissing.  He was getting used to it.  “I can’t believe tomorrow’s Christmas eve, this year was crazy.”
“Yeah I know, we still have to get him a red collar for the insta pic. And I haven’t bought a present for your mum yet.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
All three of them were pressed together.  Winston closed his eyes.  He had never been with humans like this.  Not even Maggie.  This warm and soft.  It reminded him a little of the old box where he and his brothers and sisters had slept.  “How do you think the phannies will react to him?”
“Ovaries will explode, hearts will stop, there’ll be a storm on Tumblr.”
“For a good reason at least.”
One of them leaned down and kissed the top of his head.  Winston made a contented sigh and began to drift off.
*
By that evening Winston had realized that two humans were in fact not as similar as he had first thought.  They looked and smelled alike, yes, but they had different vibes.  The one who wore black was louder; he laughed a lot, and pulled the sleeve of his sweaters over his hand so that when he petted Winston he could feel warm cloth and skin together.  His smell was a little more artificial, like he used more products on his hair or skin.  The other human was more nervous, he moved around, he constantly shifted his position on the couch, and every few minutes he would look at him and smile like he couldn’t believe Winston was really there.  It was very odd, and he smelled a lot like coffee.
That afternoon they went out on a very long walk, and then a car ride to a crowded city center full of lights.  There were thousands of humans there, more than he had ever seen before, and lights of every color dazzling in the murky sunset.  They stopped at many buildings and one of them would go in while the other would crouch down on the pavement and give him treats.   There were a thousand things to smell and see, and they were patience as he stopped at every street corner and trash can.
Finally, when the sky had gone dark and the city seemed like a cobweb of lights they all got in a car.  He nuzzled between them, and felt Phil’s fingers massaging his ear.  Phil was the nervous one.  The warm one was Dan.  He had heard their names enough times to be sure, and they were good names, short and easy just like he liked them.
There was a lot of traffic on the road, he stepped on Phil’s legs and looked out of the window, but he saw nothing familiar, no hint of the cage-place, or Maggie.  He whimpered softly.
“Do you think he’s tired?” said Phil, putting an arm over him.
“Maybe, he’ll be better when we give him some dinner.  But he looked happy or he was wagging his tail at least.  He’s probably never been anywhere like that, must have been exciting for him.”
“You’re probably right.”
They leaned close together but this time they didn’t kiss.  Outside the window building after building was going by. Where was this taking them? Would they go to the cage-place again? To Maggie? Or back to the where they had been that morning?  He lay down over Phil’s lap, and waited for the car to stop.
When they got out, Winston recognized the brick building, and the familiar elevator and door.  It smelled like them, a good smell.  Once they release him from the leash he ran all around the place, and heard them laugh.  He made it all the way to the red bed, and rolled around in it a few times before hearing Phil call: “Winston, come here boy.”
He ran back to the kitchen just in time to see him pouring fresh kibble in silver bowl.  He ate as he heard the TV go off.  This kibble was better than the one in the cage place, it had more flavor, and it didn’t leave his teeth feeling funny.  When he finished he drank water and then ran back to the sofa.  Phil was sitting down, and Dan had his head on Phil’s lap, and his long legs taking up the whole couch.  Winston stared at him reproachfully, he wanted a place on that couch.
“Ah, fine, you win, I’ll shove over,” said Dan as he moved his legs off.
Winston gave a little bark of satisfaction and then jumped up, making a little space between them.
“Wow, cockblocked.”
“Well we are parents now; we can’t expect it to be like the good old days when we could just go at it on the couch whenever we wanted,” said Phil.
Dan gave a life.  “It does gonna take something a lot more radical than a dog to stop me from seducing you on counter tops.”
Phil giggled, and then they were kissing again over him.  A pretty type of cartoon with nice colors was playing on the TV but they spent most of the evening talking to each other, and every once in a while kissing, or petting him.  When it got properly dark outside there was an argument about who had to take him out, with Dan giving in at the end with an exasperated “Fine.”
They went to the courtyard and walked in a circle and Winston did his business.  They were heading back into the apartment when suddenly Dan stopped and looked up at the sky.  It had begun to snow.  Winston barked and jumped up. He liked snow.  He remembered it cold underneath his paw, and the trails that were left on it when it lay white on the ground.  “Guess we’re getting a white Christmas,” said Dan.  “That’s nice. Aesthetic.” He looked down at him, smiling; he had an odd smile, not like most humans, with little marks on his cheeks.  “But you don’t care about that; you just wanna run around in it.”  He leaned down and petted him.
Instead of going in they took a seat on a bench together and both of them looked up at the sky.  There were clouds and it was starless but it was still quite pretty.  “This will probably be your first proper Christmas,” he said as he ran a finger from his forehead to his snout.  “It’s gonna be chill this year.  Tomorrow Martyn and Cornelia are coming over, but the 25th we are resolutely not going anywhere.  Just the three of us.”
There was a shift.  He could feel it, something like sadness was coming over the human, though Winston couldn’t quite understand it.  Why was he sad?  There was food, and warmth and Phil.  He licked at his fingers.  “Another Christmas.”
Was Christmas bad? He put his front paws on Dan’s lap and looked at him.  “You are really smart.  She lied about you being a corgi, but not about you being the exact dog we wanted.” Winston cocked his head to the side.  He didn’t know what he was saying, but it was still there, that sadness that seemed to come out of nothing.  Dan put his arms around him.  “It’s nice to have you here,” he whispered, as he hugged him.
When they went in Phil was somewhere else and Dan took him alone to the room with the red bed.  There was a black blanket over it now and Winston cozied up into it, while Dan petted him.  “Goodnight, Winston,” he said with one final sad sort of smile before walking out of the room and closing it for the night.
For a while it was hard to sleep.  He cried.  He turned over.  He knocked against the nightstand and brought down a furry brown thing which he proceeded to chew on and pull at.  In the end he fell asleep with it in his mouth, half on top of the blanket and half underneath it.
*
In the morning both of the humans came to get him out and he ran around their feet and barked because he really had to go out.  As soon as they opened the door he half-dragged Phil through the courtyard, while Dan stood back laughing at the flustered panic of his boyfriend.  When he finished he grabbed a treat from Phil’s hands and licked at his fingers and then sauntered back into their apartment. They had turned the tree with the lights again and it was shining pretty and gold.  
They all had breakfast together in the kitchen, and Winston begged for a little bit of bacon, and instead got half a scrambled egg which was almost as good.  There was Christmas music in the air and Phil pulled out a little rubber ball which he attempted to throw down the hallway, but Winston was too quick and always caught it in midair.
They seemed to expect him to give the ball back to them however, which Winston found very odd. He had been the one to capture it, therefore it was his, and he would bring it back to his bed, and hoard it, and every time that Phil tried to get it back from him he would struggle and tug at it. Sometimes Phil won, but then he’d just let it go again and Winston would get it back.  Other time he would give up with a sigh and Dan would laugh at him.
Around 12 they went into a room he had never and rudely shut the door after them saying: “Winston stay.” He did, but he did not understand why.  But of course there was a lot he didn’t understand.  This place was so different from the cage place.  Here everything was soft, and there were so many things, and so few inhabitants.  Just him, and Dan and Phil.
He went back down the stairs, and sat beneath the big tree with lights.  It smelled nice.  A good earthy smell.  And the lights made the area especially warm.  He lay his head on his paws and closed his eyes.
Winston woke up again when he heard the creak of the stairs.  He jumped up and ran to Phil.  He looked nice, and he smelled like perfume.  He made Winston sit at the bottom step and then gave him a treat and caressed his ears.  Dan came down next and for the next hour they hardly paid him any attention. They were very busy, moving from place to place, checking their phones, and arranging things in the house.
He wasn’t sure why until he heard an odd bell.   “Come on Winston,” said Dan,”time to greet your Aunt and Uncle,” he said going towards the main door and signaling for him to follow. Winston hesitated.  He looked back at Phil who was putting food on the table. “Come on, they’ll wanna see you.”  Winston took a step away.   There were strangers coming. More strangers.  That wasn’t Maggie, he’d be able to smell Maggie, and it wasn’t Donna, or Marty or Leah either.  Dan and Phil had invited strangers.  He looked anxiously at the door and then back at Dan.  He was not going anywhere.
“Too shy? That’s alright.” Dan turned around and walked to the door.  Winston heard it open and then two voices, a man and a woman.  She smelled like citrus.  He smelled a lot like Phil.  They came in and immediately went into happy gasps as they looked at him.
“Aw, he’s even cuter than the picture!”
She walked slowly towards him.  There was nowhere to go really.  In the cage place, the blue bed had felt safe because it was behind bars, but there were none here.  She knelt on the floor and offered a hand.  “Come here sweetie,” she said softly. “What’s his name again?”
“Winston,” said Phil who was kneeling too.  Winston moved closer to him.  He knew Phil, he knew his energy and his smell and his voice.  He didn’t know this stranger.  “He’s a little shy, this is his first home.”
“Oh,” she cooed.  “Well he’s lovely.  How’s he been getting on?”
Winston turned his eyes from Dan to Phil as they both talked about him at the same time, often interrupting each other.  He relaxed a little as the girl and Phil petted him.  Her fingers were cold, but her touch was nice, and he licked at them.  When the male came Winston could tell at once that he and Phil came from the same litter, he was even more similar to Phil than Dan was.
The humans ate together at the table, with Winston sitting on the floor between Dan and Phil and occasionally making whimpering sounds to get a bit of food.  Phil was much better about giving it than that Dan was, which resulted in him lying down at Phil’s feet. ��After dinner, they sat down on the floor around a low table and got out colorful boxes with games in them, the smell of wine permeating the air.
Winston settled down between Dan and Phil, occasionally feeling their hands petting him and rubbing at his ears.  This was so different from the cage-place.  There it had always felt cold, he had been behind bars, and Maggie didn’t even come to see him every day.  Here these humans never left him except for at the night, and even then he was in a big warm room with blankets and lots of things to explore.  He fell asleep feeling warm and contented.
When it was properly dark the strangers went away after petting Winston and giving him a treat.  “That wasn’t too bad was it?” said Dan as he crouched on the floor in front of him. “You were really good.”
‘We should take him out,” said Phil, and Winton heard the click of his leash.  He ran to him, wagging his tail.
Outside the night was cold and brisk.  He ran as far as his leash would allow and peed against numerous corners.  Dan and Phil were walking slowly behind him pressed close together.  “I should have brought a hat, it’s freezing-“said Phil as he buried his hands inside the pockets of his coat.
“Well you can run around with him, that’ll warm you up.”
“In the dark? I’d break my neck.”
“Just saying,” said the other.
Winston skipped backs towards them as they circled the courtyard one more time.  “We have to take the picture tonight,” said Phil.  “Do you think we should brush him or something?”
“Nah, he looks good scruffy.”
When they went back into the house he could tell  at once something was happening.  They were both moving around as if looking for things.  He stayed by the door, looking at them, his head cocked to the side.  These were very strange humans, he decided.  They didn’t go anywhere.  They spent all day with him, and all day with each other.  It was very surprising.  He had never known humans could do that.  He had thought that they were all like Donna and Maggie, they came in for a while, but then they always had to be somewhere and leave you.
When they both came back into the room they were smiley.  “Should we take one altogether, or just of him?”
“Both,” answered Dan as he took a seat cross legged in front of the tree with lights.  “Come here Winston,” he said, and obediently Winston came, wagging his tail and hoping to get another treat.  There were lots of treats around here apparently.  But instead Dan put his hands on his neck and began loosening his collar.  He gave a little bark.  “It’s okay, you’re just getting a new one, you have to match the aesthetic,” he explained calmly as Winston struggled against him.
Finally they got the new collar on him. It wasn’t very comfortable but Winston was sued to it.  He tried to pull at it, but stopped when Dan began massaging his ears again. That was good.  He put his head on the human’s lap and let him continue.
“Awww that’s precious.” Phil squatted a few feet away and took a picture of them.
“You have to be in it too!”
“I know, but you guys look cute together.”
“Phil,” Dan whined.
They sat beneath the tree together, moving Winston around, and moving their hands so that he looked up at their phone.  They took many pictures, some with him between them,some with him sitting on Dan’s lap, both of them smiling and giggling and warm.  Winston had no idea what was happening frankly, but it was kinda fun nonetheless.
Afterwards they moved away and he tried to follow but they told him to sit.   They took more pictures of him underneath the tree, telling him he was a good boy and giving him treats.  His tail was wagging, he had never gotten this much attention in his life. These were nice humans he thought as he licked crumbs off of the palm of Phil’s hand.
“He’s really like perfect, isn’t he?” said Dan as he looked through the pictures they had just taken.  “Look at him, god they’re gonna die tomorrow.”
Phil put his arm around him.  “If they can’t survive tomorrow there’s no way they’ll make it through next year.” His kissed Dan’s cheek and brushed back a loose curl.  Dan leaned against him, resting his head on his shoulder and closing his eyes.  Winston had never seen humans cuddle like this; he walked up and made himself a little space between them.
“Wow, cockblocked again.  He really needs to be the center of attention doesn’t he?”
“Mmmm, I wonder who he takes after?”
“Ugh, shut up,” said playfully elbowing him.  “We have to walk him.”
“It’s cold,” complained Phil, making a pouty face.
“Oh come on, you said you wanted a dog.”
“I do, but, it’s cold.”
Dan rolled his eyes.  “Fine, I’ll take him.”
“Thanks, I’ll wait for you in bed.”
“Naked and stretched I hope.”
Phil’s eyebrows shot up.  “If that’s what you want.”
Instead of answering Dan leaned down and kissed him again before walking towards the door.  Winston stayed in Phil’s lap until he heard the jingle of his leash and then he ran to Dan.  He felt it clip on his collar, and then he was in the crisp cold air, and there were snowflakes coming down again.  They walked in a circle around the courtyard, he saw a squirrel and a little girl at a window, and behind him Dan was humming something.
When they were almost back at the apartment he leaned down and petted Winston, ruffling the snowflakes off of his fur.  “I’m glad you have a home for Christmas.”
Winston cocked his head.  He did not know what his human was saying, but his tone was soft.
He petted Winston’s ears.  “Having a home is so important.  Having somewhere that you always feel safe, and good.” Dan smiled and the little marks appeared on his cheeks.  “It feels even better with you here.  It feels complete.” He laughed.  “I can’t believe we waited so long.”
Winston wagged his tail, he hoped this was an appropriate response.  Dan stood up again and they walked back into the warmth of the apartment. The leash was hung up, and his human rubbed a towel on him to get him nice and dry finally he  brought him back to his sleeping room.
“Goodnight Winston, see you in the morning.”
It was hard for Winston to sleep.  First of all there were odd noises coming from upstairs, he barked at them but they didn’t stop.  Second of all he had eaten too much, and he wasn’t sleepy.  He ran around the room a while, jumped on the big human bed, dived underneath the pillows and threw them on the floor.  He scratched at him door, and rolled on the floor in front of it making whining sounds.  He was bored.   He was not tired.  None of his toys were here.  He dove under the bed and hit his head against the frame, letting out a little howl.  He ran to shake the pain off.  It was not too bad, but it had been a surprise.  He jumped on the bed again and then jumped down, finally returning to scratching at the door.  He let out a long whine, and rested his head on his paws.  Where were his humans? It had been a long time. Had they forgotten about him?
What if they had gotten hurt? Those noises earlier had been very weird, they could be hurt noises.  He whined again.  He wanted to see his humans.  He wanted to feel Dan’s warm hands on his ears, and hear Phil’s soft voice.  They were nice humans.  Not that Maggie wasn’t nice, but she had never spent so much time with him.  He scratched at the door again.  What if they’d never come back?  He raised his head and howled.
A few moments later he heard noises.  He stopped and perked his ear up.  His humans were coming.  He could hear them on the stairs, and then the creak of the floorboards, and then he stepped back as the door opened.  Dan and Phil were standing in front of him.   Dan was almost naked except for tiny tight black shorts, and Phil was wearing glasses.  They looked at him, and then around the room.  “Is something wrong Winston,” said Dan as he extended his hand for him to sniff.
Winston bound up to them.  He licked his finger, looking up at them with big dark eyes.
“I think he’s just being a drama queen.”
“But he’s never been like this before, he’s never been loud.”
Phil petted him, and Winston felt calm all of a sudden.  They hadn’t forgotten about him.  They weren’t hurt.  They hadn’t gone anywhere.  He felt relief as Phil played with his ear.  “Today was kind of different.  I mean we had people over, we gave him a lot of treats.  Maybe he has like a sugar rush or something?”
“From dog treats?”
“I don’t know.”
Dan crouched, and Winston let both of them pet him.  They were quiet for a moment.  “He really made a mess of this place.”
“Well at least he doesn’t pee anywhere.”
“True.”
“Hey, maybe he knows it's Christmas.”
“What?”
“Yeah, maybe he knows it’s Christmas morning and he doesn’t wanna be all alone,” said Phil.
Dan narrowed his eyes.  “He’s a dog, he doesn’t understand holidays.”
“Oh, come on, how else are you gonna explain it.”
“Agh,” Dan rushed and rolled his eyes.  “Are you saying you want him to sleep with us?”
Phil gave an innocent shrug. “Why not, he clearly doesn’t wanna be alone, and we already had sex.”
Dan groaned again and shook his head.  “Okay just for tonight, and because I’m cold.”
“Yes!” said Phil triumphantly as he threw his arms around Winston.
A second later the humans stood up, Winston gave a little whine as they moved towards the door again but they didn’t close it behind them.  “Come on Winston,” said Phil, and at once he began following them.  They went up the stairs into one of the doors that had always been closed before.
He had never been in this room. It was big and dark, with an odd natural smell in the air and a very large bed.  The boys closed the door after him and then got into bed.  “You have to wash the sheets tomorrow,” said Dan as he got into the left side and immediately wrapped himself up.
“Fine,” said Phil as he patted the foot of the bed.  “Jump up,” he said looking at Winston.  
He knew those words, and jumped into a comforter so soft that he sunk into it a little..  It smelled like his humans.  Phil took ooff his glasses and left them on the nightstand.  Winston watched them as they lay there, and then he moved to a spot between their legs.  He could feel them underneath the blankets, warm and human.   He curled up.  This was better. A much better way of sleeping, he thought as he closed his eyes. This way he knew that his humans were safe, and that they wouldn’t forget about him.
He opened his eyes a few minutes later when he heard Phil move.  He was leaned over Dan and kissed softly at his shoulder.  “Merry Christmas.”
“It’s four AM, I’m trying to sleep Phil.”
“I’m trying to be cute.”
Dan groaned.  “Be cute in the morning will you.”
“Fine,” he lay back down and closed his eyes.
The whole world seemed dark and calm.  Winston liked hearing them breath.  He liked how they smelled, and the warmth between them.  And within a few minutes he had fallen asleep.
*
There was a little ray of light falling in between the heavy curtains at the window.  Winston watched it stretch across the floor for a while as his humans slept.  He grew impatient, and jumped off, stretching his body and shaking his limbs as he explored the room.  There were a lot of things. Clothes and shoes, and books and movies.  It was all very interesting, especially the shoes.  They had been in a lot of places that Winston had never but he ran back when he heard someone someone shuffle on the bed.
Dan had flipped over onto his back and was staring at the ceiling.  Winston hopped up in bed next to him and Dan half-jumped up.  “Oh, I forgot you were here, Phil’s such a snake,” he said as he petted him.
“I am not, he was a good boy,” said Phil groggily as he too sat up.  “He didn’t make a peep after we brought him here..”
“Well that’s true enough,” said Dan, rubbing as Winston’s tummy as he stretched on the bed on top of him.  “But Phil didn’t know that, you could have been a devil and kept us up the whole night.”
“Don’t talk that way about our baby.”
“I’ll talk however I please.”
A second later they stopped petting him and Winston looked up disgruntled to see they were kissing again.  He gave a little bark, but they didn’t stop.  “Merry Christmas Dan.”
“Merry Christmas Phil.”
They embraced, and Phil made a contented little sigh.  “Our tenth Christmas together.”
“Yeah, we’ve had a lot now, and they’re just kinda getting better.”
Phil laughed.  “I’m glad we’re both feeling like that.”
They were looking at each other and Winston felt something, in their air, like electricity.  He barked to remind them that he was still here.  “I guess our traditional Christmas morning blowjobs will have to wait now that we’re parents.”
“Ugh, the sacrifices we make for you Winston,” said Dan with a laugh as he got out of bed.  Phil put on his glasses, and Dan put on clothes and then they went downstairs, Winston following at their heels.  They went for a walk together.  It was still quite early in the morning, and there was some snow on the ground.  The air felt fresh and clean. And he bounced around them as they walked through the neighborhood.  By the time they got home he was tired and eager to get his breakfast, which Dan poured out into his silver bowl while Phil made some coffee.
They ate breakfast on the couch and Phil gave Winston some bacon when Dan wasn’t looking.  They watched anime together for a while, and then Dan and Phil both took out their laptops and phones.  They looked like they were concentrating very hard.  “Alright, it’s all ready I think, I have a tweet, an insta story, and a main pic, you?”
“It’s taking me forever to choose the right filter.”
“Dan.”
“Okay, okay, I guess I’ll go with this one,” he held up his phone to show a picture of Winston underneath the tree, his head cocked to the side, his eyes big and loving, and the lights in the background making his fur glow.
“Aww that’s better than mine.”
“But yours has all of us together.”
“I know but your filter is better.”
“That’s because I spent thirty minutes picking it out,” said Dan as plucked Phil’s phone from his hands.  He fidgeted with it for a moment before handing it back to him.  “Better.”
“Yeah definitely.”
“Okay, then,” he turned towards Winton who was on the floor beneath them.  “Winston, get ready to be internet famous,” he said as he clicked send.
Later it became hard for Winston to remember everything that happened before.  He knew that he had lived in a box, and slept under rain.  He had been cold and hungry.  He knew there had been a cage-place, full of other animals, and a nice girl called Maggie.  But those things didn’t feel real anymore.  Real was Dan and Phil.  It was their apartment, and their smell, and the sound of them kissing.  It was the way he slept between them every night, even though Dan complained about it, and the way their big hands felt as they petted him.
This was his forever home and everything that came before it well, that just wasn’t important anymore.
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