#it’s just friendship is harddddd

[gregmarriage]

currently trying to find a balance between being close friends with people and putting my all into relationships, and keeping them at arms length and it being semi casual, so i don’t hurt myself

#i don’t wanna push people away or isolate myself #it’s just friendship is harddddd #especially right now as i’m still dealing with a lot #like i’m mostly recovered from the manic episode #i just wanna put things in place in my life so i can better deal #not just in the event i’m manic but just in general #tho honestly all i seem to do lately is fix my life and it doesn’t really happen #but i keep trying because what else can i do? #i guess i’m just trying to take things slow #but also my fatal flaw is my impatience #but honestly anybody in my situation probably would be #no one wants to sit around for things to get better #even if i’m doing it for myself i’m still waiting as i put things in place #bc nothing happens instantly #soooo 🤷🏻‍♀️ #idk i’m kinda torn between hating small talk and also kinda needing it? #like putting everything into relationships is exhausting #just talking casually is kinda easier for me rn #and i need to find better ways to deal bc i can’t just trauma dump on my friends #even if they’re fine with it #it’s not healthy #a certain level of talking about your problems is fine but there’s a stage where it gets to be you should probably be talking to a therapist #instead of a friend #bc your friend can only help you so much and distractions only go so far #you need like actual help at some point #even if you won’t admit it to yourself #bc honestly i’ve been through this a million times #and you always have to hit rock bottom before you admit you’re in too deep #i hit my rock bottom recently #and now i’m crawling out and paving over that hole i fell through

[firstaidspray]

As far as the Paz Lives AU goes I started writing from the point where she wakes up from the coma (aka where you meet her in game) but I think I want to get the hospital raid/rescue thing written and over with first bc it will be quick. I also want to be able to establish her close friendship with Ocelot that begins with the awakening bc nobody else will Get It like I do just yet its so. Hrrrm. I wish my brain could just share all the Paz Lives AU information and story with anyone who cares bc like putting out creative work for it is harddddd..yet I want everyone to understand what I mean when I say Paz and Ocelot watch spaghetti westerns together and he comes to visit her and she shows him her drawings and they sit and talk while she's still in her amnesiac state and that friendship formed carries over to her True Personality when the amnesia finally breaks and now he's training her in combat but that closeness remains and nobody understands Them but me but I WANT EVERYONE TO. Screaming and biting my own arm this AU is everything to me

#paz lives au

[caroldantops]

ok ik you want regina for yourself but for in canon(s?) what do you think between regina/janis , regina/cady, or cady/janis? or maybe just all three together idk

don’t make me choose ✋ BUT ALSO I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS EARLIER AND ITS SO HARDDDDD i love them all for v different reasons

regina/janis r the OG toxic yuri blueprint

cady/janis are the homoerotic friendship gone wrong

and regina/cady is like. mean lesbian and her little excited puppy she picked up off the street

SO LIKE THE EASY COP-OUT ANSWER IS I LIKE THEM AS THROUPLE

but also hear me out i love cady/gretchen/karen 💞 bonding over their regina trauma and them being surprised cady genuinely is nice to them??? so if those three together then obvs go with regina/janis with them :3

#silver talks

[typicalopposite]

fandom ask stranger things

and also for any show you haven't seen but know about because someone yelled at you about it on tumblr or something. (idk i'm making stuff up so feel free not too but i've learned a lot about shows from tumblr posts so i'm just curious)

Fave: Eddie! :) ok and Dustin it’s a tie

Least: Brenner! 😤 but also Angela, I hate a bully

BrOTP: Steve and Dustin their little banter is adorable and I just love their friendship!

OTP: Steddie 👀💕

OT3: these are harddddd. Robin Nancy and Vicki IDK 😂

NOTP: Um. Shoooot. This one’s hard. Cause I’ll ship all of em idc. Imma say Ronance, cause I want Robin to get Vicki 😂

Fave storyline: this last one up until Eddie cut that damn sheet 💔💔

Least Favorite: the rest of s4 post sheet cutting. No 😂 s2 minus Max I love Max!

What I Wish happened: Eddie lived

What Happened that I Wish Didn’t: Eddie Died

😂😂😂

As you can see I am still a little hung up on Eddie.

ALSO! A show I haven’t seen but know almost everything about thanks to @scripted-downfall is Dark Angel :) with Jensen Ackles from SPN

#fandom ask game #answered ask #vol 2 stranger things #stranger things

[plcturesofu]

(bc sam is the worst) ridiculous but possible time jump predictions, GO.

why would u make me think about this…

1) little to no fexi interaction despite a time jump where fezco is released from prison (which i think is fucking psychotic considering how much buzz they caused last season but he’s ruined every relationship/friendship on the show… ex: cassie/maddy, rue/fezco, rue/jules, kat/ethan)

2) time jump to where fezco is not in prison but the feds use him against laurie - fezco ends up dying for lexi or lexi gets hurt for fezco maybe because of a possible issue with laurie and they try to involve lexi someway since she has a connection with now both fez and rue - things do not look good for them

3) it’ll be rue and lexi’s senior year and i’d imagine that even if fezco gets out of prison or things don’t escalate with laurie, he will have either friendzoned lexi HARDDDDD or he will keep her and his feelings for her very far away to which i think there could be a possible door scene between them with lexi trying to get him to let her in… i’m sick right now

4) this isnt a time jump related thing but im fucking scared shitless sam might try to do a love triangle with them and i will literally be on my 13th reason

5) THIS IS RIDICULOUS BUT I AM A FIRM BELIEVER WE WILL GET A FEZ/LEXI KISS OR INTIMATE MOMENT 1000% NEXT SEASON EVEN IF IT’S JUST SOME DREAM SEQUENCE OR SOMETHING ON EITHER OF THEIR BEHALVES

#ive thought about this too much #also read about it too much #im so scared

[farmlesbians]

Re the flakey friends stuff - I feel you sooo hard dude, I feel like im always in that situation of reaching out and getting turned down too. Something I’ve tried doing when a friend who has a pattern of bailing/ignoring me says “we should hang out!” is to respond with “totally, text/call/whatever me anytime :)” because then you explicitly put it on them to follow up. cause my default is always to volunteer to make the plan which then just leaves me feeling shitty. Idk if this actually results in more hanging out, but at least I relieve myself of the anxiety, you know? <3 sorry this is happening to you, friendship is harddddd

it just doesn’t make sense to me !!! why tell someone u want to see them and tell them ur gonna be free then ignore them like i’d take it as the “omg we should totally hang” just to be nice if she wasn’t telling me when shes free u know

[daxieoclock]

✨ 💕 🏳‍🌈 for Hades

And/or ✨ 🎥 for wktd, if you like to?

sure!!! tyyyy

✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?

ummm mostly i just heard a lot about it from quinn my friend quinn and jim sterling and two valued recs is enough for me, so i checked out some videos of like dialogue from the game. like just a playthrough minus the gameplay. and holy fuck. kinda fell in love with the voice acting and writing like?? im such a sucker for good voice acting and im obviously a fan of good writing, and hades has both of them in spades. helps that it’s a fun game too.

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

DUSA AND MEG djfhgbhj i mean holy fuck. Dusa is just such an adorable lovely lady and she makes me smile every time she’s on screen, her friendship with zagreus is so sweet. and Meg is like. bisexy. iconic. whenever she’s onscreen “ma’am i am listening respectfully” djhfbgjh i have like. no less than three ocs who i imagine sound like her and i might be a bit obsessed

also artemis??? holy fuck artemis i want to be her friend so bad djfgbj she deserves so much better and she’s kinda fascinating to me as someone who like puts up with so much bullshit for the sake of like “keeping what she has” and that hurts but it’s also such an interesting foil to zagreus who is willing to throw everything away in order to get a CHANCE at something he’s been missing his whole life, and to get away from his own primarily familial bullshit.

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

adhd zagreus is very good, ummm....lesbian nyx and bi persephone, and then they smooch. oh and artemis is an ace lesbian 100%

aaaand for we know the devil!

✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?

lunette @transgressivepistoleer has been trying to get me and jane @lilyhoshikawa into WKTD for like. a hot fucking minute, like at least since last august. i saw an errant signal video that went into the full game like a year ago or something, so i knew it was good but starting new stuff is harddddd. but a bit ago lunette was doing streams with jane reading her through the game, and i think jane asked if i wanted to join and voice one of the characters and it sounded fun so i hopped in and then the rest is history. jdfbghjb it’s just such a well written game it’s thematic and beautiful and intense and so many lines live rent free in my head

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

ummm the worst girls are canonically sapphic and that’s normally the big one dhfjgbjhd i think jupiter is an abuse/assault survivor, and neptune probably struggles with disordered eating. those are the only ones that come to mind.

[ssweeneys]

Meet  “Lo”

Character: ―  Lorelei “Lo” Hendricks Faceclaim: ―  Phoebe Tonkin Age/Pronouns: ―  This miserable bitch is 26 and also using she/her pronouns :) Hometown/District: ― She’s a texan, born and raised. Her family currently lives in Great Heights and that’s where she grew up. But right now she lives in the Red Line District with a friend. Because girl can’t afford rent on her own.

HEADCANONS 

― Her zodiac sign is a Leo so that should tell you something ;-)  ― She is a former (but still struggling) drug addict. She went to rehab, did all the steps necessary however, she still feels the withdrawals from time to time. It doesn’t help that she’s still besties with her drug dealer and spends most of her time with people who love to sin.  ― Her coping/replacement habit is biting her nails. She does it a lot when she’s anxious, so she knows the taste of chipped polish very well. (tip: it’s not delicious) ― Lo comes from a very big and very wholesome family. Think: the brady bunch. She’s the middle child of 7. So, yes. She’s right smack dab in the middle. ―  Because of this.. it’s kinda the reason why she started using drugs in the first place? She never got the same treatment or attention as her brothers and sisters. So to cope, she found other (not so nice ways) to make herself feel alive and included. She got sucked into the wrong crowd too early and has been attached at the hip with those people ever since.  ― Her ex boyfriend, Xavier is a member of the Lycans. She knows about his involvement with the gang but because she’s not a part of it herself, her intel and knowledge of them is very limited. ― Part of why her and Xavier broke up was because, she ghosted him. She needed a fresh start when trying to get clean and so being around him, his life, or his pack, was a danger to hers. She still loves him, obviously. It’s just harddddd. And not good for her so yanno -- run girl run. ― Lo is definitely the life of any party. She’s a fun time. She’s uncensored. She lives with a live fast, die young mentality. And it often gets her into trouble (oh yes, she’s been arrested before.)  ― The only people she doesn’t like are stuck up, shrewds. If you’re boring, judgmental or a straight up cunt, she won’t talk to you. In fact, she’ll ignore you like the plague and act like you don’t even exist. Only the good timers can roll with her ok. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

― Her bestie SLASH drug dealer, pls and thanks!!! I imagine them to be like family. They bust each other’s balls a lot (figure of speech obvs. bc she doesn’t actually have balls lol), they call each other out on their bullshit. Their friendship is jam packed with spunk and familial love. This is open to males or females! Or even non binary characters. It honestly doesn’t matter so anyone is fair game!  ― Friends. ANY! Doesn’t matter if they’re people she hangs with from the Red Line District where she works and lives now, or if it’s childhood friends from the suburbs she grew up in (Great Heights district). Or maybe she even knows some rich people because like.. that would be cool???  ― I’d love to establish some connections with some Lycans. They could obviously know her through Xavier or she could’ve forged bonds with them on her own and maybe they keep in touch or maybe her ghosting Xavier left a bad taste in their mouths so now they’re not cool anymore and enemies? It doesn’t matter and I’m game for anything really.  ― Her siblings!!!! She has 6 (mainly step related and/or adopted). It would be cool to have the Hendricks clan running amuck around GOW. So if anyone wants an established family connection, hit me upp! (This is open to any gender/race/etc because most are step related or adopted) I’d like to discuss this either way so we can make sure everything lines up between players involved. Lo’s full blooded brother is Benjamin Caruso. (edited 12/19/19)  ― Her roommate (because roommate plots are BOSS)  ― Co-Workers. She’s a waitress at the Odyssey. It’s kind of like a bbq/steakhouse joint. It’s not super high class but not a complete dive either and it’s in neutral territory meaning neither the Lycans or Reapers claim ownership. So this even opens doors for Reaper connections.

#gowtalk #i'll do izzy's later

[crllvrs]

A Summary of my 2019

So its been a while right?

Well, I want to update this page on what a crappy year this was, so brace yourself and just read the effin entry.

So lets start with my education. IT WASSSSS HARDDDDD, I never felt like giving up until this year, a constant thought came to me and I questioned myself if I really can continue. With tons of professors that was a pain in the ass this semester, I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT ON DROPPING. But hey, I faked my way until the end. Will I still continue questions myself? Maybe, most likely but let me try first, okay? Give me some credit pleasseee.

How about love life, I might say It was extremely uneventful, I’m quite shock. Am I losing interest of finding love or did I just completely gave up? Who knows, cuz I’m still constantly flirting but not in a romantic way. No more to update you guys. 

Career? Was there any tho? LOL It was bad, really bad, I shouldn’t came back. You know the feeling of having a memory of something that was good but you were able to see it in a different perspective and it ruined everything? Yeah that was the feeling I have coming back to work. It was my fault tho, no blaming others with this one. 

FRIENDSHIP??? Ohh this was the most tiring of all, I don’t want to get back with those people I left. To many betrayals and fake friends. I CAN’T TAKE IT NO MOREE.

Family? Still the same. Just weirder and stressful like before. You guys seems to get the idea that I don’t really much have a close relationship with them aside from my Mom, which is my worlddddd.

I’m getting lazy, I think this is enough chismis for myself in the future. If you’re reading this future self, you know what I’m talking about and if you’re dead, I just hope people remembered you wish to be cremated than buried. HANG IN THERE, I KNOW LOVE IS BEING PRIORITIZED NEXT YEAR BUT PLEASE BE HEALTHY AND LOVING AND STOP BEING SO GOD DAMN DEPRESSED!!!

LOVE YOUU

-crllvrs 

#Summary #MyLife