#it’s theo’s false tears of deceit versus these moments of real emotion slipping through. the terror of letting himself feel.

[unspokenstydia]

✰ ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, GOT THE WRONG INSIDES. ✰

THEO RAEKEN: THE KINTSUGI KID “Real pain is emotional pain. That is the kind of pain that lasts.” 

#it’s theo’s false tears of deceit versus these moments of real emotion slipping through. the terror of letting himself feel. #the impossibility of it. and then it’s the dread doctors’ syringe and how carelessly and callously he would give life back and rip it away #doling out both resurrection and murder with this drilled-in emotional distance. perfecting every action to be so necessarily heartless #because bodies were test sites and weapons and /his/ body was an appendage in itself of someone else’s agenda— #versus his own flesh upon gabe’s in this one selfless moment. and how his touch is gentle and light and his hesitance underscores every beat #and how inundating the revelation is—that he’s capable of this. that it's all possible for him. #and how perilous it must be to look forward from that post-hell hinge point and know that the death of the myth he was promised is only the #beginning of his life. and all of this is difficult and painful in ways that are brand new but must (avowedly/somehow/please) #be worth that pain. #theo raeken #flashing gif #tw: blood #twedit #teenwolfedit #teen wolf #fyteenwolf #cody christian #tvedit #fall out boy #so much (for) stardust #there's something so staggering about the fact that theo (in cody's imagination) stays. #he's not much of a pack animal and scott's never going to forgive him and it doesn't matter who forgets because mason won't and #he'sbarelyevenhumanlikeacheapknockoffdotheylookredtoyouithinkyoupushedherandithinkyoulikedit and #he stays. #like. i don’t know how i’m expected to be okay about any of this! i’m undone!! it’s shattering and stunning #and so is the kintsugi kid in the context of like. my insides are copper and i’d kill to make them gold / do you ever get the feeling that #your insides and your outsides don’t really go together? / i wonder at the way that someone can write thousands and thousands of pages about #my insides / it’s about feeling all right and feeling safe in your own skin / on the bright side got the wrong insides !! #and [back to theo] this chorus as a callback to ‘when i’m just the ghost of nothing nothing’ in from now on we are enemies #anyway . will the real hard hard pills to swallow please stand up.