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lemonietrinket · 4 years

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How Day6 would react to overhearing you admit your crush on him to one of the other members

AN: a request from anon. i feel ive treated this more seriously (and focused perhaps more on the confessions themselves, bc i interpreted ‘crush’ subconsciously as ‘having long-term-feelings for’) than you meant in your request but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

Sungjin

“hyuuun, i’m in love please make it stop.” “only way that’s going to happen is if you go tell him.” “...i hate you.”

sungjin... i picture is going to date to marry (or an equivalent if marriage is not for you, as though i get the vibe he’s quite traditional, for the right person he would be very easily convinced), so he takes crushes and confessions quite seriously

probably would feel bad for eavesdropping

then would feel happy that you felt the same way

but then more serious issue of now having to confess would take over

would spend a long time thinking of the best way to do it

would probably settle on a classic walk or cinema/theatre depending on what’s showing

would make damn sure he and you would be alone while confessing—so to save both parties from pressure and embarrassment should things go wrong

also he’s quite a private guy and would want to let others know on his own and your terms

ngl probably wouldn’t admit he’d overheard you until like... a long time later

it would be under the initial reasoning that he would wait until you were stable so it wouldn’t have too big of an effect

but then he would forget

until it randomly came up in conversation

like we may even be talking years here

maybe when you live in your own place, just the two of you, and you’re hanging out with him and younghyun who is just refusing to go home bc the food is too good at yours who brings it up

“i don’t understand how it took so long for you two to get together, like even wonpil was starting to find yn’s pining sickening.”

and you would be salty, because “excuse me i hid my desperation very well!”

and sungjin would just immediately come to support you because he’s a loyal motherfucker and would begin, without thinking “she did, i didn’t know until i—”

that would be when he stops himself bc hes like oh shit i didn’t tell her and now two very curious sets of eyes are like staring at him and he’s 98% sure he can’t backtrack at all

“when you what?”

and he would just sigh “when i overheard you telling younghyun that you liked me”

and there’d be a moment of silence, followed by laughter

youngk would be confused, probably, having a surprisingly better recollection that you perhaps would “wait i remember that—how did it take you two months to work out what to do next?!”

and you end up just laughing harder, before noticing the the mix of emotions on sungjins face and reassure him “it doesn’t matter how long it took, we’re together now”

anyway overall sungjin is probably quite serious about it, but it will have a happy ending, you’ve just got to be patient lmao

Jae

“dowoon, what do i do?”

jae would be playful about it

after hearing you ask dowoon for advice since hes good friends with him he would be ecstatic, but would try and keep it lowkey

he’d hide out of sight of the doorway he’d passed by to have his little moment

and then he wouldn’t be able to stop smiling

his eyes would keep glancing to you for the rest of the day, even more than usual

but i think he would want to make things more official as soon as possible, as he doesn’t want to waste any time when he could do it sooner and be with you

and so he’d ask if you had a spare moment on the day or so, and take you some place quiet

not necessarily his room, more likely just outside the front door in the warm summer air

and ngl i think he would totally pull the “i think you know why i summoned you here today”

of course, yall have no idea, but you’re used to his occasional crackheadery—otherwise why would you crush on him so hard? “not a bit, but if its a trip to get snacks you don’t even have to ask, i’m in”

“well, that is a plan for later... depending on how this goes”

that’s the point where you would get confused and begin to wonder if something is up, but hel’l continue “i found out something really cool today yn.”

“really? was it the pin to brian’s credit card?”

he would laugh but shake his head, “nah even better” and that would give you the heads up that this was serious, and it would occur to you that he might have overheard something

but it becomes obvious when he follows with “a little bird... told me that someone, likes someone else, in our group. our friendship group.”

you briefly consider panicking, as the whole thing could still be construed as him not liking you back, but you put on a brave face and push through, “oh really? who?”

“that’s the problem, i don’t know, but i was wondering if you did.”

the chance was clear for anyone to see, and seeing the glimmer of hope, you seize it “well, i know someone who likes you... but i’m not sure if its mutual, so that might be why they haven’t said”

“if it’s who i think it is, then it definitely is... mutual” he would admit

and that would be the closest the two of you ever got to literally word-for-word confessing, because out of nerves neither of you would probably be able to admit it at the crux of the moment

however, like in all the movies idc if its cliche you would gravitate towards each other, and that would be the moment where you both recognised your feelings as well as shared your first kiss together

ok i’m going to stop before i combust

anyway as for whether he’d admit he’d overheard you, he would probably be quite quick to the chase on that one too, probably right after the kiss and you’ve spoken about it a bit more, he’ll probably just say “i kind of accidentally overheard you telling dowoon, please don’t be mad at me”

but how could you be, you’d gotten what you wanted after all

in conclusion, jae is lighthearted about it and woudn’t waste any time

Younghyun

“wonpil did i tell you how much i love his eyes?” “hmmm... perhaps... but tell me again, to just to make sure.”

god bless wonpil his emotional support would be A+

right off the bat our youngk is a songwriter

he probably finds a lot of inspiration out of love

and so his feelings for you coalesce to create love songs that he may or may not use in the future

anyhow, it means that to cope with his feelings he’s probably half composed something small where he admits them

with little intention of you probably ever hearing it at all

or at least, not without big chunks edited and names changed/cut

but when he overhears you rambling to wonpil who doesn’t mind the sappiness a characteristic you probably got off our brian anyway with his occasional borderline emo-ness

he’s grateful to his past-self for starting it, and realises that maybe its time to finish it

so it’ll take a week or so for him to finally confess

bc even though hes a bit of a flirt, i don’t see him wanting to tarnish love, since he owes it so much and its not fun to play with someone’s heart, especially not yours

so it might take him a little longer, and when he gets round to it, it’ll be perfect, just like you in his eyes

so prepare to be serenaded

yes, that sort of serenaded

in dim evening light, with the sun’s glow beginning to fade and make way for the stars, flickering like the candles laid out for you

again, that classical vibe won’t be missed on him

as for whether he’d tell you, probably only if you asked, but he would add that he’d been writing the song beforehand

he just may not admit to not planning on ever performing it

overall? when it comes to romantic flair, kang younghyun is king

Wonpil

“sungjin, uh, do you know where wonpil is? i can’t—” “isn’t he at your hip?” “as much as i kind of wish he was, he kind of isn’t.”

wonpil, my lovely sweetheart

probably wouldn’t be able to stop himself from just

walking straight in when he accidentally overhears you to ask right there and then

like, you’re probably pestering talking to sungjin in the kitchen or another equally frequented place, so it was likely that someone was going to overhear anyway

and maybe that was part of sungjins plan dont put it past him

but also it meant wonpil got further into the room the hunt for sustenance spurring him on, you know how it is before he caught onto what was being said, thus making it harder to back out

thus sungjin knew he’d overheard, but you with your back to the door were still clueless

and would’ve stayed that way had wonpil not continued and straight up asked or sungjin not said anything, which lets face it by this point he was really considering doing

he would be really excited about hearing that the feelings were mutual, and you were right there so what harm was really being done if he did just straight up waltz in?

as soon as you heard his small “you like me too?” you would whip around

aaand that would be sungjin’s cue to leave

“do you mean that?”

“it only feels right when you’re by my side, pillie.”

the words you would exchange would be in a soft flurry of emotion tbh, out of disbelief but excitement for the future

most likely ending with you embracing, foreheads resting against one another’s

fluff hours only in the house of pil, ok?

Dowoon

“jae, do you think dowoon will be free tomorrow?” “yea why?” “i want to take him to the cat cafe—” “oh my god is it happening?! is it really happening? are you finally going to tell him? plan ILU is underway?” “keep it down!” “oh god everybody stay calm, stay fucking calm—!”

my bean

my lovely bean

would feel guilty over accidentally eavesdropping, and this would reflect in his shyness later

however, he decides to run with the silver lining of having the chance to be prepared for tomorrow

and so he would not say a word and try and act natural

especially when you ask him if he wants to go out somewhere with you the next day

he’s not sure how he did, he tried to hide his ears as best he could but he was also well aware you knew him too well

when the next morning rolls around, he’s up early, getting ready in nice clothes that he hopes aren’t suspiciously too nice

and then he waits, trying to calm is nerves, before realising that maybe ignorance is bliss

when the time comes and you make your way to the cafe, he finds it difficult to act surprised, but also to try and keep his breath steady

finally, near the end, after asking if he had a good time and wanted to come back, you confess you liked him and it’s as if a weight lifts off his shoulders

he would kiss your cheek soon after, without much warning, out of relief and joy and nerves and a whole lot of else

and you’d probably pull him in for a proper kiss by his collar as soon as you’re sure he’s ok with it

and then the fact he eavesdropped would be a secret that he would die with

~~~

Masterlist

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fmdtaeyongarchive · 4 years

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↬ my reality is a cruel fall without you.

date: august 2020.

location: ash’s living room / ash’s therapist’s office / ash’s apartment studio.

word count: 1,822 words, excluding lyrics.

summary: -

triggers: n/a.

notes: creative claims verification.

ash has been through this exact writing process three times prior and he’s picked up some tricks. defining the seasons in the context of love had become easier for him as he finished their respective songs one by one.

winter had been the cold of the world driving two people together.

spring had been the honeymoon phase.

summer had been the oppressive weight of a long-term relationship taking its toll.

now, it’s time for him to write fall.

ii.

it’s been a year.

ash can’t remember anything in his life ever feeling quite as heavy as that promise ring had the night he’d slipped it off the chain around his neck and passed it out of his grasp for the last time, a mere six months after he’d put it on his finger and thought he’d had everything figured out.

“i love you so much, but we both know this isn’t working.”

(i love you, but not in the way i thought i’d been looking for my whole life any more.)

if he’d looked at himself from the outside, he would have felt silly for feeling his entire core splitting in half as the silver ring clattered onto the table, his resolve too weak to thrust it directly into the other man’s hand, but there’d always been the unspoken understanding that the ring was more than a silly promise.

a public declaration of forever in a relationship as an active idol is, by most accounts, socially impossible. making that forever official in the form of government documents as a same-sex couple in south korea is, by all accounts, legally impossible.

forever had been a big thought to a barely twenty-three year-old, and it’d only grown more massive the longer it hung over ash’s head blissfully unacknowledged for the sake of his own happiness, for the sake of the idea of finally getting his own happy ending. he’d get there one day. then, it wouldn’t feel so all-encompassing, so terrifying, but months had passed and he’d felt like he was only getting farther away from that one day.

it hadn’t gone unnoticed to ash that, without fail, he’d been the one to deflect from the topic of forever when talk between them became too real. with time, it started to weigh him down. one day, he looked up and found he wasn’t on that cloud high above everything anymore.

he was in a different world and he couldn’t see a way he’d ever be able to climb back up to be on even ground.

so, it had ended at ash’s hand.

ash had once heard a person needs half the time they were in a relationship to get over it, so looking at the calendar and seeing august come around once again, that hill should officially be behind him now.

so why does he still think about it with sorrow at times like these?

how are you? how are you doing without me?

he has no intentions of writing a song about him for his fall single at first. he only wants to distract himself on the anniversary of the last ending he’d faced. the last one he’d ever face if he’d learned anything worthwhile.

but when does he ever learn?

his piano is an old friend at times like these. if the wood had any consciousness within it beyond what he projects into it in his most desperate times of need, it would surely judge him for how he goes back to it like clockwork in his times of emotional distress, but the rest of the world will judge him less for it than it will for turning to the bottles in his kitchen or the exes in his phone.

there’s a pattern to it now. sit down, straighten his back (the weight of the world on his shoulders is no excuse for poor playing posture), rest his phone on the bench next to him with an application recording every note he plays, and lay a blank notebook of music staves next to it in case he decides to be formal about anything workable that comes out of his idling.

nothing noteworthy comes to him at first, but the more he plays, the more fresh ideas begin swirling in a twister in his mind against his initial intentions of merely distracting himself. he messes around with chords, keys, arpeggios. he’s been forcing it a lot lately, and it hasn’t turned out in his favor. letting it slowly seep its way out of his pores might be the better course of action now instead.

his mind is frantic but the music is slow and inspiration piles up inside of him until he decides to sit and think through a chord progression, then a top line melody, then he fleshes it out. the first step in the process is never perfect, but he isn’t stumped with where to go with it yet, and that’s a good sign. more and more, he’s felt defeated with his songwriting after idea after idea gets rejected by the only people whose opinions really matter if he ever wants his songs to make it out in the world. he could think a song is the best piece he’s ever crafted, but if it doesn’t appease the bc entertainment gods, it will never see the light of day.

he tries not to think about that while he works on this song. that’s the roadblock he’s run into too many times before trying to pluck out something he can be proud of on the strings of a guitar or on the black and white keys of a piano.

the end product is something jazzy but moody, laden with his unspoken emotions but in a way that lends itself to simplicity, but he ponders for days the right way to put words to it.

he can feel what he wants the lyrics to say. it’s when he attempts to put them into words with a rhyme scheme and an appropriate meter that he struggles. ash has become a master at packaging his emotions into a pretty song with structure and a story, but this time, it’s evading him. the feeling is emptiness, but it’s also missing something he doesn’t really want back. it’s wanting something he can’t have now and wanting to tear himself apart for wanting it. it’s looking down the dark path to his future and seeing only less and less light as it stretches out in front of him. it’s fear of the inevitable pitch black darkness at the very end of the path and how quickly it’s approaching.

iii.

it’s after his second therapy session with his new therapist that something occurs to ash that stays with him beyond the time he’d paid for.

it’s not something he brings up during the session itself, or says out loud to anyone. ash doesn’t talk about his romantic life in detail with any therapist he’s ever had, even though he’s well-aware refusing to bring it up is ignoring a festering wound that needs attention if it’s ever going to heal. he’s heard too many horror stories about professionals that were supposed to know better discovering the money for the gossip being better than adherence to the oath of confidentiality they’d made for him to find comfort in disclosing the intricacies of his private life.

there’s a part of him he’s still holding back, but he only finds comfort in not opening up completely even to the person he’s paying to allow him to do just that without too much outward judgment.

opening himself fully or not, the lyrics to the song come easier to him after that. putting what he’s feeling into words is no easy task, but he’s made progress on it already. possibilities don’t come flooding out like a broken dam, but they do trickle down through his brain steadily enough for him not to lose hope. the slow drops only come when he pries them out, but they come nonetheless.

iv.

the mood of the song evolves in a way ash hadn’t anticipated at first. it becomes sadder in tone, more wistful. that had been a given from the moment the lyrics began to flesh out, but playing around in cubase ends with him deciding the song works its best as a simple piano composition, stripped bare like his emotions.

the piano remains prominent even as he adds more percussion and the main instrumental piano track gets jazzed up more than the initial draft recording had been. in a world where his music reflects solely his gut instinct, the song would be even more bare bones than it becomes. he imagines he would have taken a direction similar to “the unknown guest” on his last album, purposefully under-produced and made to sound like something that isn’t radio friendly, but it’s still simple enough to sound stripped-down to an untrained ear. the more he works on the song, the more he understands he does want it to be played on the radio. then, maybe, he’ll be able to tell himself the right person had heard it and convince himself of the closure he needs.

there’s a feeling in his chest as he listens to the final draft version, with layers of his vocals put down and a thoroughness that only comes with a song that has found its final form, that feels a little like he’s at the top of a mountain. he can’t put a name to it other than thinness of air. it’s not disappointment or regret, and as much as he decides he does really like how it turned out, it isn’t pride either.

the song is different than he would have thought it would be when he began it — after all, at some point visions of his ex-boyfriend had begun to mix with visions of the current flame he held — but different in a way that he hopes does service to the song instead of taking away from it.

at first, it’d been about his past relationship, a love that had been suffocated by his own choice.

now?

in a way, the song is about that relationship, but, in ways, it’s about the one that had come before that. and the one before that. and then, at the end, it becomes about the next one. the one he’s not supposed to have, but the one he’s confessed to yearning for in secret in the lyrics.

i want to fall in love.

unlike so many other songs he’s written, he’s not really begging for love to return to him or cursing himself for wanting such a thing. it’s about something else.

then it hits him: it’s not any of his relationships, long passed or current or future, that he’s holding on to. it’s a lament pried out of him by the lover he’s taken up in the time since, one entirely separate, but also entirely connected that creeps in the corner of every room he enters: loneliness.

#fmdverification #&& when you're screaming but they only hear you whisper | self para #&& queued

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algrenion · 4 years

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Sims wise, what are all the packs you have? And what are your top like 5 faves? I wanna go on a buying spree but I want them to be worth it, ya know? Lol

oh man here’s the thing uhhhh

i dont have many and the ones i have i mostly got for like £3 (or for free) when they were on sale on some website, so i dont have the ones ive really been wanting

i think i have the following packs

City Living

Get to Work (i only just got that one tho its not even downloaded yet i got it like a few hours ago)

Jungle Adventure

Fitness stuff

Cool Kitchen stuff

Toddler stuff (arguably the pack i need the absolute least of any pack lol)

Holiday celebration pack

as for my favourites i’d like to say City Living, but i find it’s kind of limited?? it’s got a neat sort of all-encompassing aspect to it in how you can just sort of wander around lil’ San Myushino and live in a nice little apartment (i put Hajime and Ko in a penthouse, Ollie and Chen are gonna get moved into Their Own ‘Bino bc Stormy compells me, and Innes is probably getting moved into a crummy little run down city shack and THAT is what i love abt it)

but yeah i do think there’s only so much to do that’s interesting for City Living which kind of sucks bc i expected it to be the most useful pack for me out of any of them

ironically i actually think?? Fitness Stuff has been my favourite pack out of the official ones i have? i know it’s just a Stuff pack but it’s offered me the most for my characters in terms of aesthetic where a lot of the clothing items in-game fall flat, and sometimes the modded outfits are a little like... TOO realistic for me? to the point of just being a bit of an eyesore in game i mean, they stand out too much sometimes

so fitness stuff has been really helpful for the aesthetic of my modernised OCs, seeing as half my characters are meant to be sort of like... gang-bangin’ babies and tracksuit kids

all that garbage rambling said i CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH...

MODS ARE BETTER LMAO

the only reason i ever bought some of these packs was to get the base content i needed to make the mods work so i could REALLY get into the nitty-gritty bits, i am Mod Obsessed and EA can actually eat my entire ass tbh bc none of their packs would be worth ANYTHING if modders weren’t adapting them so heavily

:’-) sorry for ranting im so in love with this game rn its so useful for me and my needs

#playing the sins #Anonymous

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6969ville · 7 years

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TAZ NORMAL AU THING

THB HOUSEHOLD - MAGNUS, MERLE, TAAKO (And Steven the Fish)

part one / part two / part three

Merle works at Home Depot and is the one keeping most of the plants alive

Magnus is a carpenter. He's got his own lil business going.

Taako works at the gas station and has seen A Lot.

They're all roommates and live together in [Town 1]

Magnus wants a dog but the landlord says no :(((

I feel like Taako still does a bunch of witchcraft-y stuff

At first, Merle does most of then cooking because Taako hates cooking for others but at one point he slowly starts getting back into it and then he's just the only one who cooks.

No one else is allowed in the kitchen. No one. Get out.

Taako used to work for a fancy restaurant but one day a bunch of people got rlly bad food poisoning and some people even died and he quit and he's been at the gas station ever since

However at one point when Merle and Magnus were watching tv, something about the restaurant came up, new evidence on the case, Sazed's arrest.

“Taako you should come see this”

“I hate the news fuck off?”

“Dude I think you'd actually be Very interested in this come here”

“Uuuggghhhhh- holy shhit my dudes that's my old manager- what the fuck. What the fuck?”

After that he gets back in the swing of cookin' for his friendos.

Merle has two kids and an ex wife

He sends money back to them often enough.

They were kept a secret from Taako and Magnus until one Christmas- i mean Candle Nights in which he got a letter from them and Magnus and Taako got ahold of it

“YOU HAVE CHILDREN?”

“YEAH I DO SHUT UP YOU DIRTY SNEAKS”

It's fine no one is too ‘Holy shit what the fuck’

Prior to THB living together, Magnus lived with his wife, and his father-in-law & mentor, Steven.

They were killed by an explosion planted by the old mayor. Magnus was out of town at the time.

They were expecting a child

Merle and Taako were unaware of this part for a long while. They had to use context clues at first but that gave them the wrong answer and when they confronted Magnus about it, Magnus gave them the fuller story.

They were at Goodwill or something and Magnus got caught up looking at baby shoes.

Merle and Taako added that along with the few times they'd seen Magnus with small child and he got hella choked up and decided something like.

“He's probably just upset he'll never get to have kids y'know.”

“I mean he probably could.”

“He's way too devoted to his dead wife i dont think so pal”

“alright true. so hes sad he can't have kids and grow old with the lady he loves.”

They corner him in his room and talk about it. He's carving something and he mostly stays focused on that when talking until he gets way way way too choked up and has to put it down.

“We- we've talked about... Julia before, yeah?”

“Yyyep.” “Mhmm.”

“Well. Um. Be- before she, she died, we...” shaky hands strike the wood and maybe this isn't a good idea. “We were... expecting. A baby. She was pregnant, and,” he almost cuts his thumb so knife gets to go down now. “...yeah.”

this is officially worse than what Taako and Merle thought.

It's not a great day.

They'll get better, though.

There's still bad days but they get more manageable.

Flash forward, Taako gets himself a boyfriend.

I need to find a way to work in “Hey thug whats your name” bc thats. how i physically need them to meet. idk how tho.

Anyways they go on their first date at the fuckin' Chug and Squeeze and at first Kravitz isn't entirely sure that it's a date and not just like ‘Two bros, chillin at the Chug&Squeeze, three feet apart cuz they're not gay!’ but it becomes abundantly clear that this is a date

Also followed up when they're walking home, Taako gets a call from Lup that literally just starts out 'hey slut whats up' 'im on a date why are you calling me'

“You're on a DATE? With who? Do I need to beat them up? HEY SKANK WHAT'S YOUR NAME TOUCH MY BABY BROTHER AND DIE“ “LUP WE'RE THE SAME AGE GOODBYE sorry about her anyways um walk me home?”

Kravitz, his face very red because Lup is a very loud girl and most of that conversation was in fact audible to him: ok

What is Merle's relationship? With anyone? It's assumed he's dating Davenport. He also is fond of Lucretia.

“Are you dating Davenport??“ Magnus asks, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I think so.” Merle shrugs.

“Ohh my god. Oh my god.” Taako says from the couch. “Incredible.”

Magnus is the third wheel of forever.

Not just in his friends romantic settings though sometimes Lup and Taako will go on lunch dates and 'hey wanna come' 'yeah sure' flash forward 'ohkay ive said about six words this entire hour'

He'll tag along with Carey and Killian from time to time

Killian isn't. Toooo entirely fond of this but its not often enough to be like 'nope this is too much'

He went with them (the second time) to visit Carey's new [niece/nephew] and got to hold them and he started crying

(Killian later told Taako and Merle about this and it was part of their Clues For Sad Magnus)

(In reality he was just super happy for them because look at this tiny beautiful baby!!! so healthy!!! you made this!!!!! he's a weeper)

(Magnus is a total weeper and you can take that from my dead gay hands)

Both Taako and Merle are allergic to cats

This does not keep Taako from petting street cats though.

Taako is allergic to peanuts and will avoid using them in his cooking if he can get away with it.

The only pets they have is Steven the Fish who lives in a giant tank with some guppies and a sucker fish.

Merle has a few of his plants named.

“This is Beth, Abigail, and Petersburg.” They're well loved.

Taako has a number of herbs and stuff which also have names.

“This is Shub-Niggurath, Yig, Cthylla, and Nyarlathotep.” They're also well loved, but mostly by me.

Taako and Lup sibling dates though.

They happen constantly too. They’ll go to other restaurants together and rant about boyfriends and friends and life.

Sometimes they’ll go shopping together and they’re definitely the most obnoxious customers in the store

THB have like two restaurants they’ll go to like at least once a month

They have an order to tell who’s paying

One of the restaurants they go to has a gumball machine. Some of the gumballs have Nerds in them.

They’re very passionate about Nerds gumballs.

This is also where Leon works so every few weeks the boys come in and his happiness dies because they’re so loud and yell about the fucking gumballs

[I wrote a thing about it here read it]

Magnus runs his own little carpentry shop with a few employees who frankly mostly just deliver the stuff and run the money and all that shit. Magnus is mostly the only guy workin’ the wood.

When the time came, he helped Carey propose to Killian. Actually it was a little bit of all three of them, but Magnus and Carey came up with the plan.

He also literally carved her a fucking engagement ring

He was her best man at the wedding.

#taz modern au #thb household #ok listen

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saintkimora · 7 years

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well here is how my past 3-5 dates w joel have gone this past week

so! ive been spending the night w him p much every other night. so our 4th date was like 8 days ago. i got there and i THOUGHT we were gonna be in his room again but we were in his room for 2 seconds then he came in like “oh btw my roommates are making us go in the living room and be social” so i was like ..................................................rip i was like here i go its time for the caleb and leeann applebees date 2.0 :/ so we went in to the living room and it was with marissa and lindsey bc his other roommate was out. so everyone was like wtf are we gonna do so after some talking joel decided we would all watch the babadook on netflix since we were talking about the meme and most of us hadnt seen it. i hate scary movies but i figured i could get through it since i had joel to hold on to and since the babadook is like a meme now. so yeah it was fine i got along ok w the roommates and the movie wasnt that scary except for one part. there was one point where i felt like i was starting to shut down a little and i was feeling bad about possibly ruining things again but i asked joel afterwards and he didnt even notice lmao so i dont think it was as bad as i thought

lindsey went to bed halfway through the movie so it was just me joel and marissa by the end. after the movie marissa went into her room and joel and i went back to his room. idk if this next part happened at this point or if it happened on our next date bc its hard for me to keep the timeline straight since it all happens so fast lol so regardless of what day it was this was the next significant thing that happened w me and joel

so i was watching him play overwatch or something and his brother called him on the phone and they had a long conversation about joels financial situation while i was just sitting there lol. so afterwards joel put his head in my lap and explained all his problems to me about how hes so stressed out with money and stuff. and like obv i felt really bad for him bc that sucks. BUT i actually kinda liked it bc i liked how vulnerable and genuine he was being! it made me feel a lot closer to him. then we watched these olds 80s (?) game shows w his head still in my lap (one of them was like some knockoff of snatch game but w regular celebrities instead of drag queens omg) and he had the FUNNIEST commentary about all the old commercials and stuff lol i havent laughed that hard in a LONG time so it was really nice

and idk if this happened that night or the babadook night but i ate his ass again and once again it was a religious experience like his ass is SOOOOOOOO nice i still cant get over it lmao

so then fast forward to the next 2 days later and for whatever reason joel and i werent planning on meeting that night. but he texted me at like 2am telling me he was feeling kinda down about things and how he wished i was there w him rn so i decided to go visit him! and like he kept being like “i dont wanna bother you/i feel bad about always making you come all the way out here for me” and how he wasnt used to guys putting in so much effort and caring about him so much and like...it really wasnt that serious like it wasnt a hindrance to me at all bc i wanted to see him anyways lol but it did make me feel kinda bad for him bc like his old bfs must have been real flops for him to view me just doing decent bf things as like these grand gestures. i have more to say on this but it will be towards the end of the post

so yeah i showered and got there by like 3am. he set up his futon since it was bigger than his bed so we would have more room. and he talked to me about how stressed he was about money and medical school applications and how he felt kinda worthless so i listened to him and comforted him and all that stuff. then we watched the rpdr reunion together and it was SO much fun omg he was shook p much the whole time since it was so iconic. then we went to sleep since i had work in the morning

also like the night after that we were texting and i told him i was really tired and he was like but youre never tired and i was like ya but i had 2 full days of work and i barely got any sleep last night (which was bc i was awake w him until like 5am) and i realized afterwards that it was kinda mean of me to say it bc to me i was just explaining why i was tired but he was already feeling like a burden making me drive all the way there and comfort him so telling him how tired i was probably made him feel bad about asking me for comfort which is NOT how i want him to feel bc i want him to be able to request my help whenever he needs it. so i could tell he was kinda caught off guard by me saying it so i called him and apologized and we cleared it all up. anyways it was just nice to actually call him and discuss the issue and resolve it without any drama. and he said it meant a lot that i even called him to make sure he was feeling ok so it seems that at least i did something right

there was the next date which was pretty much the same as usual. this time i watched him play diablo 3. but this time we also fooled around and he made me cum and then i was trying to make him cum but i fell asleep bc i was so tired asfnkjashdasna i felt SOOOOOOOOO bad when i woke up that morning :( i apologized and he said it was fine and he was tired too but i still felt bad about it

so then last night/this morning was our most recent date. when i got there a friend of him/his roommates named chris was using his room bc he was playing overwatch so i had to hang out w joel marissa and lindsey in the living room. it was extremely nerve wracking and i was sweating like crazy but i tried to hide my nervousness and socialize. lindsey and marissa seem to like me esp bc i brought joel a gift that day (hes like obsessed w friends and i saw a friends t shirt when i was shopping that day so i got it for him lol) also lindsey is iconic bc she is so wacky shes always getting on the floor and doing weird poses and moves and stunts. and marissa is p funny so i like them both. but still having to talk to them was stressful even though theyre both really nice. lindsey walked into joels room later that night when he was laying down and i was sitting on top of him and said she wanted to join and then later when joel was in the kitchen she came in the doorway and asked if i could be her boyfriend asfjkafndsjnkajs now THIS is a cracked queen

so the rest of the night was nice! we watched like 3 drag race s5 eps on amazon video and we did lots of cuddling and stuff as usual. then we went to bed and we woke up and we fooled around and we BOTH came this time. it was difficult for me trying to get him to cum but i had to power through it bc i had to redeem myself after last time. then i watched him play overwatch and then i watched him play destiny. i really enjoyed it! like i was sitting there cuddling a cute guy and watching him play videogames w both of us shirtless like that is literally all i want and i finally have it!

so yeah! its going really well w joel at the moment. we get along really well and i like his sense of humor and its nice having someone w similar interests to mine! and i love playing w his hair and touching his nice soft belly and his thick thighs and playing w his beard. and i looooooooooooooooooooovvvveeeeeee his voice so much omg the way he says certain words is so cute and hes always making cute weird noises and its super endearing. and i LOVE love love being able to cuddle w someone until we both fall asleep and then waking up together! its so nice

he doesnt seem to be losing interest in me yet which is good. however this is the issue that i mentioned earlier that i would come back to. so hes constantly telling me about how hes not used to being w someone that puts in so much effort and treats him so well. so that got me thinking. like...obv he likes me at least a little but i have a feeling he might like me a lot more rn bc he isnt used to being treated so nicely. so like, after the initial novelty of being treated like this wears off im afraid he’ll realize he doesnt actually like me that much (like if it ends up being more of a he likes the way i make him feel more than he actually likes me as a person). so im kinda worried about that but im hoping it doesnt happen obv and that he continues to like me. and again. we’ve been in somewhat social situations together now since i had to talk to his 2 roommates but it really wasnt easy for me at all. and we still havent actually gone “out” and done something, like going out to eat or attending a function together or something. so i still have to wait and see how we’re able to interact in those situations before i can determine whether our relationship will work out. im also still too nervous to eat in front of him so whenever he asks if im hungry i lie and say no even though majority of the time i am actually really hungry :/ rip

so yeah thats p much it! its pretty nice atm, except for the issues i just mentioned. also last night joel told me that one of his hookup buddies was back in town the other day and texted him but he had to turn him down and tell him that he is with someone now (me) so that was nice to know! since he seems to view us as exclusive now. we still havent officially decided we are in a relationship but im really in no rush to do that since its only been like a week and a half so i want to continue getting to know him and stuff. i still do feel that he is gonna lose interest at some point but rn it seems that will be later rather than sooner so i am just trying to take it day by day. im also worried about greece since ill be gone for a month so it is very possible that he might meet someone else that he likes more during that time which would really suck. but im kinda just operating on the assumption that its what is gonna happen that way if it does happen i wont be too shocked and if it doesnt happen ill be pleasantly surprised

so yeah thats it, overall its going really well and im having a lot of fun with him! hopefully things continue on this path and we get even closer bc i really like him so far

#personal

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rowanartist · 6 years

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Fan Fiction Quotes 2017: (part 3)

“You’re going out with Barton. What makes you think you’re in any way qualified to give me relationship advice?”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/366774”>[X]</a>amusing deflection banter

“Bucky, you’ve always needed Steve and me to see the light in you, because you could never see it in yourself. That hasn’t changed.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/1578938”>[X]</a>Peggy bring the truth…

“Hey! It’s dumb heroic shit. I don’t do stupid, unless there’s a reason for it.”<a href=“http://atticuos.tumblr.com/post/162595631070/4th-of-july”>[X]</a>yup, sounds like him

“Barnes and Rogers, Brooklyn’s own troublemakers.”<a href=“http://atticuos.tumblr.com/post/162595631070/4th-of-july”>[X]</a>again, yup

“Never felt right pursing any selfish whims when there was so much injustice in the world, so many wrongs begging to be righted.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/8569513”>[X]</a>Bucky. Pirate AU. I really like the art - which is how I found it

“Steve gets to sleep in the middle and Clark and Buck equally love and fear his toes. His body radiates heat, but his damn toes are always cold and what the shit??? He’s so warm and yet?? Why just the toes?!”<a href=“http://buckmebxrnes.tumblr.com/post/146321475643/wintersupercap-its-like-stucky-but-with-a”>[X]</a>Tumblr head cannon for Steve, Bucky and Clark Kent. I know cold toes!

“He does [sex] more for the happiness and emotional connectivity and that natural high of pleasing the ones he loves the most.”<a href=“http://buckmebxrnes.tumblr.com/post/146359556273/whats-clarks-favorite-thing-to-do-with-his”>[X]</a>Tumblr head cannon for Steve, Bucky and Clark Kent.

“He’d never even told her he was pansexual (he figured he wasn’t bi because that could potentially discount aliens and since humans are technically “not him” he figured pan made sense). He’s spent a lot of time in the shower thinking about his sexual identity to be honest.”<a href=“http://buckmebxrnes.tumblr.com/post/146551418443/the-henry-cavill-gifset-i-gave-you-in”>[X]</a>again the wibtersupercap head cannons. Lol. Even if the rest isn’t really my thing at all

“Sex is so very complicated to him. He wants it, he doesn’t want it. It feels good…he’s never in the mood. He wants physical contact…he doesn’t want that much…but yeah sometimes he does? He’s all very confused about himself. ”<a href=“http://buckmebxrnes.tumblr.com/post/146670061983/oh-my-goodness-clark-accidentally-breaking#notes”>[X]</a>MORE head cannon stuff. Almost done, over halfway. Even not identifying as ace I get this. Relatable, personal .

“Kal could totally be an indicator of “Hey I need attention, love me plz.” ”<a href=“http://buckmebxrnes.tumblr.com/post/148350083428/for-wsc-they-gotta-call-him-by-kal-or-kal-el-bc”>[X]</a>more head cannon stuff, almost done.

“They feel alone in the world, walking beside people who don’t really belong to them but are there all the same.”<a href=“http://buckmebxrnes.tumblr.com/post/148353679873/bucky-meets-clark-first-post-ws-after-he”>[X]</a>they being Steve Rogers and Clark Kent - so on point!

“I have all this pent up emotion and nowhere to put it, and my boys are beautifully conveying and taking out their motions while I put my fist through the bathroom mirror.”<a href=“http://buckmebxrnes.tumblr.com/post/155538694443/i-know-this-is-really-random-but-i-came-up-with”>[X]</a>ahhh.

“Steve’s stomach gurgles noisily and Bucky laughs. "If I could move right now, I’d make you pancakes, but it’s going to have to wait until morning.”“<a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/319282?view_adult=true”>[X]</a>sex burns calories

“alfred [’s Tumblr]: guns and sometimes miniature cakes”<a href=“http://wantstobelieve.tumblr.com/post/167280173762/hey-i-dont-know-if-someone-has-already-asked-or”>[X]</a>comments

“He wants to live on steamed dumplings from now on.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/4097566”>[X]</a>I’m with you Barnes, they are good!

“He wakes up early in the morning blanketed by the full-size chest of Captain America. Talk about purple mountains’ majesty.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/4097566”>[X]</a>lol

“Steve sleeps in the day when he isn’t out and then he’s up all night, up all night long, finding something to do, jogging, TV, sitting at the window, all night, all night.”<a href=“http://ipoiledi.tumblr.com/post/134324911571/i-love-these-conflict-resolution-stories-were”>[X]</a>yeah, depression

“Steve hops up on the washing machine, swinging his legs – they’re only a couple scant inches off the ground, but he likes doing it”<a href=“http://ipoiledi.tumblr.com/post/133919491831/wow-i-just-binge-read-all-your-fics-since-steve”>[X]</a>relatable

“the tired face of Bruce Banner overlayed with that of the Hulk”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/2264658”>[X: story 2]</a>imagery. Draw.

“Steve from Brooklyn was still there since Bucky could see him. He didn’t need any other assurance.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/2337806”>[X: story 3]</a>comments

“well, i say bopped–it was the sort of wild swing you take with a frypan when someone startles you in the kitchen.”<a href=“http://buckykingofmemes.tumblr.com/post/168013597696/ok-i-officially-feel-like-ive-been-hit-by-a”>[X]</a>hilarious

“led by the bastard child of paul bunyan and lady liberty”<a href=“http://buckykingofmemes.tumblr.com/post/167312802206/how-many-cookies-would-it-take-to-bribe-you-into”>[X]</a>what a way to describe Captain America

“Okay, guys, fair warning, this is gonna get pretty meta pretty fast. Because you know that I love Cap-spotting as much as the next person, and this comm is literally one of the most uplifting places on the internet right now, because it’s first and foremost about human connection and how heroes really are just like us, and they go out to get Chipotle or whatever, and we desperately need that in this shit show that’s called our lives, especially after what happened in NYC.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/1758087/chapters/3758717”>[ch1]</a>okay, this makes sense, though privacy should also be a thing… Maybe there’s not pictures? Then the continuation!

“[stan the smithsonian guard] also got a photo out of this, and the opportunity to tell cap that his older brother fought in the 107th during the war and knew bucky barnes. cap apparently got a little choked up. can’t blame him.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/1758087/chapters/4386261”>[ch3]</a>poor guard on duty when Cap took back his uniform… Stan even gets cameos in fics

“and i heard pepper potts might have implied a thing or two right after it turned out bucky was alive, and even the paps are scared shitless of that woman. AS THEY VERY WELL SHOULD BE.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/1758087/chapters/4386261”>[ch3]</a>oh the things that could get done if Peggy and Pepper were in the same time!

“Other auctioned “items” include a self-defense lesson with Natasha Romanoff, archery practice with Clint Barton and Kate Bishop, and a day in a lab with Tony Stark, and they will all be donated by the happy winners to the beneficiaries of the Youth Program at the Potts Foundation.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/1758087/chapters/4386261”>[ch3]</a>YEEEEES!

“And it was nice to see that you can come back from something like this, maybe not whole, but at least not completely shattered, you know. Reassuring. ”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/1758087/chapters/4386261”>[ch3]</a>motivational

“We don’t want Captain America, the hero who’s supposed to represent the majority of Americans, to be someone we can’t identify with at all because of the lifestyle he chooses.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/1758087/chapters/4386261”>[ch3]</a>a haters comment. Me: so the majority of Americans can’t relate to following one’s heart toward happiness?!

“It’s been nice to have people around him he can indulge skin hunger with as much as his libido.”<a href=“https://morgynleri.tumblr.com/post/168515169593/mcu-heroes-are-villains-agent-and-raindeer-games”>[X]</a>a friwnds Tumblr. I’m not sure (or maybe I just don’t have the energy to analyse it) why this quote stood out to me…

“Sure, he didn’t need glasses, and sure, they were practically useless, but they were badass. Plus they made the world look purple”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/4319715”>[X]</a>not overall relevant but a cute warming read

“Natasha winds up throwing Clint down the garbage chute and if that’s not some kind of metaphor for Clint’s life he doesn’t know what is.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/4319715”>[X]</a>lol!

“Put on one of these obnoxious Christmas monstrosities that Tony has decided to inflict on us and get up to the main floor, because when I say that Santa has been, man has he been.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/2843540”>[X]</a>comments

“Nope, it’s 9am. That is not too early. It’s Christmas, stop being such a Russian humbug and get up.”<a href=“http://archiveofourown.org/works/2843540”>[X]</a>little 3+1 Christmas fic

#2017 #fan fiction

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