#just wanna know what the universe says when asked stupid frivolous questions

[mestruazioni]

will some witch please read some tarots and tell me if nandermo is gonna kiss this season

#i mean i have tarots too but im not good with them #just wanna know what the universe says when asked stupid frivolous questions #wwdits #nandermo

[s-j-ace]

The Same Question

Chapter One

Characters: Shuichi Saihara, Ouma Kokichi

Words: 6738

Summary:

After Detective Shuichi Saihara encounters mysterious thief Kokichi Ouma for the first time, a game of cat and mouse ensues as both men ask themselves the same question. Why exactly does the elusive phantom thief do what he does?

Sequel to the events of That’s the Thing About Airplanes and New Plan!

Read on AO3

 Kokichi Ouma had always found it strange how he could sit in a room full of people yet feel utterly alone in the universe at the same time.

 The thought occurred to him once more as he sat among his crew in a little hole in the wall cafe tucked in the shadows of the city of lights, and it was very much out of character. The scenario Kokichi described to his crew, as they drove away from the Louvre in the beat up looking SUVs they had secretly loaded up with stolen plumbing parts, was that of a birthday party. They were all twenty something Parisians who had gotten out of bed extra early to take their friend out for a birthday surprise. How fun! How quaint! How unsuspicious!

 … but in reality it was just an excuse for Kokichi to try and shake off the weird mood he was in with decadently sugary crepes. He had pitched it to DICE as a sort of celebratory feast of a heist well done, but honestly Kokichi had never felt so bored after stealing something in his whole life.

 For some reason or another he had felt exhilarated on the plane ride in, but as soon as he got to the actual stealing part everything felt all samey and routine again. He even let Queen make off with a painting of some big dumb flowers that he wanted, hoping that it might spice things up, but now it was just lodged under the seat cushions next to a bunch of fancy looking elbow pipes.

 Ugh.

 Now that he really thought about it the painting would probably make escaping Paris even more boring…  News outlets wouldn't run the headline "Pipes and toilets stolen from the Louvre," when they could run the headline "Priceless painting of pretentious looking flowers stolen from the Louvre." It'd make it easier to sell the plumbing because interpol would be keeping their eyes on the fine art black market instead of Craigslist offers for scrap metal.

 Well maybe that was a good thing. Kokichi didn’t want them to get caught selling the pipes, after all. DICE was a bit of a scrappy group from the start and their heists had been decreasing in profitability recently for the expense of spectacle. Bishop told him that their accounts were doing fine and they had enough cash saved up for some frivolous heists, but Kokichi could do math too and thought Bishop’s accounts were slightly suspect.

 They were probably just telling him that to make him feel better. Maybe they had noticed that something was off with him. Maybe they were planning with the rest of DICE to overthrow him as the boss and put someone less stupid and predicable in charge instead.

 No, Bishop couldn’t do that to him. They weren’t a good enough liar. None of them were good enough liars. Kokichi knew them too well. For instance, right now he knew that Bishop and Ace were having a conversation that Rook was waiting to butt in on, Spade and Club were talking about Mario Kart and Spade was acting like she agreed with what Club was saying even though she didn’t, Queen was pretending to be doing some important coding but was definitely on reddit,  King was planning to shove some whipped cream in Rook’s face as soon as he finished his crepe, and Hearts and Jack were leaning in the corner of the four person booth they had all crammed into like a clown car with their legs on top of everyone else’s with Hearts on top of Jack’s lap about to fall asleep while Jack was very noticeably not noticing even though she definitely did notice because Hearts’ boobs were right in her face.

 There was so much lying happening, so much play acting, yet everything added up into an equation that seemed all the more sincere. DICE were genuinely celebrating another successful heist. For them, nothing was wrong.

 That was so bizarre.

 Everything seemed wrong to Kokichi. He felt trapped. He felt like they were all trapped. How could he ever know that his people were genuinely happy when to his knowledge people had to question everything that they found themselves doing. Take, for example, the crepe he had eaten moments ago. He had eaten it in an odd way where he started from the bottom of the crepe’s fold and ate outwards, preserving a perfect ring of outer crepe rind. It didn’t really enhance the taste in any way, seeing as the crepe had a completely even cook, but Kokichi had insisted it did as he ate it regardless because he knew that was in character of the person he had established himself to be. He was the kind of guy who just casually committed food crimes. It’s not that it didn’t still bring him joy to see the faces of his crew scrunch up in disapproval, but it made him wonder if the rest of them realized the same thing about their own behaviors. That they acted a certain way and thought a certain way because of a tacit, invisible social code of who they should be and how they should act towards others, regardless of their own intrinsic motivations.

 It made it hard to tell what lay behind their faces. If they were really happy behind the smiles.

 They had to be happy, right?

 Yeah, if he looked up happy in the dictionary he’d probably see a photograph of King shoving whipped cream in Rook’s ear. Like he was doing right now.

 Everyone was safe and having a good time, and yet Kokichi felt like he was watching it all happen from a far away place.

  Was Rook really angry as they slugged King in the arm or were they just pretending to be angry because they knew that was the part they had to play in the overall scene of this social interaction?

  Kokichi glanced at the other DICE members’ faces. Spades and Clubs were still having their own conversation about a Blue Shell conspiracy theory, but everyone else seemed to be laughing at or pretending not to laugh at King. The thought occurred to Kokichi that he should probably try to match their facial expressions, but upon inspection he found that he was already grinning full force.

 Weird.

 He let the lie lay flat.

 Immediately everyone turned to look at him. That was normal, he was their boss. If he wasn’t happy it meant something was wrong. Except it was also weird. There used to be times when Kokichi was very young where he could be in the middle of a room full of people say anything he wanted at the top of his voice without being heard. He wasn’t the same person on the outside of his head as he was on the inside of his head and he knew that and he used it to his advantage. But would he ever be able to escape it?

 …

 …

  Okay! That was a series wrap on overanalyzing shit and having memories! Time to not think about any of that ever again!

 “I’m bored of crepes.” He whined. “We should go somewhere else.”

 Instantly everyone’s face lit up with excitement. “We should go somewhere else” had become a sort of ritual phrase that now meant “Convince me what our next heist should be.”

 Everyone started talking at once.

 “There’s this casino-”

 “The Taj Mahal! We should do the-”

 “Fort Knox! I wanna-”

 Kokichi raised his hand and the clamoring voices stopped instantly.

 “One at a time, shortest to tallest, and not so loud.” He nodded slightly to the woman sitting on a stool behind the cash register. They probably didn’t have to worry much about her. It appeared that she only understood french when she took their orders earlier and now she seemed to be checking her phone disinterestedly. They had also chosen to sit in the booth furthest from the register so really there was very little chance she would overhear them say something that would get them in trouble, but you could never be too sure.

 “Well, boss. Most esteemed mastermind. You lovely bastard you,” Spades, the shortest of DICE save for Kokichi himself, schmoozed exaggeratedly. Kokichi could tell she didn’t really have an idea but wanted to draw out her turn as long as possible because Clubs had an idea and she was teasing him like an annoying older sister. She was probably going to pull Buckingham Palace. “I have the best idea. The most creative. The most innovative.” Buckingham Palace was so ridiculously easy to get into that there was entirely no point in wasting a trip to Britain on it. There was some drunk guy who just wandered into it and found the Queen’s bedroom. Twice. “It’ll be tough, but with our unique set of skills I think we’ll be able to pull it off.” So when someone didn’t have an idea, to pass they’d say Buckingham Palace. “And it’ll be well worth it. Our names will go down in history.” And then Kokichi would give a funny excuse why they weren’t going. He should probably start thinking of one now while Spades was still blabbering. “The biggest heist of all time.” Hmm… How about… Yeah that was a good one. “Home of her royal majesty herself, Buckingham Palace!”

 Everyone groaned as if this weren’t an entirely predictable twist to Spade’s monologue.

 “Uggh, Spade you know I can’t go back to Buckingham Palace.” Kokichi groaned. “Last time I was there I saw Prince Phillip dressed in a corgi fursuit being tugged around by the queen on a leash. I’m still trying to erase the image from my mind.”

 That got an easy guffaw from Ace and a smattering of giggles from everyone else. Not bad, but he’d come up with funnier before.

       Jack giggled longer than the others. Kokichi knew that meant she was waiting for everyone to quiet down so she could one up him with her own bit.

       He raised an eyebrow. “Something to say, Jack?”

       “Ooh… Well… I was just wondering if that’s the real reason we can’t go back.”

 She paused for a second as if expecting him to “yes, and” her, but he decided to let her fend for herself on this one.

 “I mean. What was it you said to      your     husband on the plane?” Shit. “Didn’t you tell him you wanted him to beg like a dog?” How much of that conversation did she hear? “I don’t know, sounds like Prince Phillip might’ve awakened something in you.”

       “Awwww,” King crooned, “Boss Baby’s first fetish.”

       Kokichi wasn’t really bothered by this implication beyond the fact that, judging from the smattering of snickers, it was getting better laughs than his original comment. He needed to swing this.

       “Puhlease. Who would be into pet play when feral rats are clearly the sexiest creatures on the planet?”

       “Is that why you spend so much time trying to look just like one?”

       “Why Jack, I’m flattered you think I look just like the sexiest creature on the planet, but I’ll have you know I’m married.”

       Hearts was nice enough to take the bit. “To who?”

       “Not that plane detective?” Bishop prodded. Or maybe they said “plain” detective? Maybe it was a pun. Good on you Bishop.

       “No, heavens no. I’m married to Ratatouille himself.” Kokichi’s rather strangely eaten crepe was about to work out pretty well in the grand scheme of japery. He unfurled the remaining ring of crepe edge and put it around his wrist. “Want proof? Here’s the ring. Isn’t it beautiful?”

       “Gorgeous!” Queen enthused. It didn’t seem like he was really paying attention, with his eyes glued to his laptop, but Kokichi appreciated his support nonetheless.

       Jack frowned. “Isn’t the rat from Ratatouille’s name Remmy?”

       “You’re right it’s not Ratatouille, it’s Ratatouille’s monster.” Rook chimed in, definitely quoting a tumblr post.          “No, no, no, I’m not married to the rat, I’m married to the concept of Ratatouille.” He made a romantic gesture. “The one we hold dear in all of our hearts.”

       “Oh, of course, of course.” Ace tried to nod sagely, but the effect was ruined by the big grin on their face. Ace had a hard time not laughing at everything, especially their own jokes.

       Club had been pouting this whole time. With this whole thing about Kokichi being into dogs diffused it was probably time to hear out his suggestion. Kokichi was about to say as much, but before the mirth died down long enough to change the subject, Queen interjected.

       “Uh, boss.” He said, turning around the laptop he had been fiddling with the whole time. “Speaking of rats… There’s one on the news making himself a loose end...”

       On the screen was a distressed looking headline in french accompanied by a picture of the detective himself, Shuichi Saihara.

       Kokichi’s heart leapt.

       Then he noticed that it leapt.

       And that his hand had begun moving to fiddle with the bandage on his finger.

             He stopped himself just in time.

         ---

       Shuichi Saihara had always found it strange how quickly his body could turn on him.

       He had been fine, on the plane untangling his seat belt while alarmed chattering spread like wild-fire throughout the plane.

       He had been fine, explaining to a frazzled flight attendant and captain that no he was not in fact married to the gentleman who jumped out of the plane, who was, as it turns out, an internationally wanted thief.

       He had been fine, making the call to 112 and explaining to the respondent that yes he knew all the police cars were busy with a high profile break-in and that the incident he was reporting was, in fact, related to said break-in.

       And yet, when he sat down, alone on a bench in front of the Paris-Charles De Gaulle airport surrounded by the crisp night air the thought crossed his mind that DICE had robbed the Louvre by now. That they had gotten away, and it was all his fault. All his fault.

       And then Shuichi pulled out his phone and dialled the number of his very good friend Kaito Momota because he was having a panic attack.

       *Beeeeeep….*

       Shuichi knew he was having a panic attack because it felt like the world was ending for no good reason.

 *Beeeeeep….*

       His breathing got shorter. An immense pressure built up behind his eyes, trying to force tears to leak out from underneath them. His hands locked in a vice grip around his phone.

       *Beeeeeep….*

       Three words repeated in his head over and over again like a broken record.      All your fault. All your fault. All your fault.  

             *Beeeeeep….*

       If Shuichi had any presence of mind right now, it might occur to him that there was, in fact, a reason behind this panic attack. That he’d been privy to and partially responsible for so many high stakes cases in his career that the idea of failure made his imagination sick with all the horrifying outcomes his mistakes could cause, including the ones that had actually come to pass. A man looking at him with hatred in his eyes as the police car door shut on him.      All your fault    . A fourteen year old girl hanging from a noose.      All your fault    . The sound of a gunshot in an alleyway.      All your fault    .  The phrase was like the slightest twitch of a finger that could pull back the trigger of a gun loaded with every horrific thing he’d ever seen, heard, or felt. Everything hit his brain in one compact shot and Shuichi didn’t have time to respond in any way except try desperately to avoid going into shock.

       It felt like the world was ending and when the world is ending you call Kaito Momota.

       *Beee-*

       *Click.*

       “...”

       “...”

       “Shuichi?”

       Kaito’s voice sounded groggy and confused over the phone.

       “...”

 “You there, man?”

       Shuichi tried to answer in the affirmative, but he couldn’t seem to force himself to speak. God, he was an idiot. He should’ve just texted. Kaito probably hated him anyway.

       “What’s up, dude? Something the matter?”

       No, Kaito is his friend and things are fine and he just needs to calm down right now.

       “Hello?”

       Okay. Okay. He was just trying to talk the wrong way. His throat was tensed to accommodate his heavy breathing instead of human speech.

       “Shuichi, is that you breathing weird into the receiver?”

       Yeah, okay, see? He was breathing weird. He should… stop that…

       “Ok, dude, whatever’s going on I’m gonna need you to not asphyxiate. Here, breathe with me. Inhale. Two... Three... Four... Five... Exhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...”

 Oh yeah. Shuichi was definitely breathing too fast right now. Panicky fast. Like close to hyperventilating fast. The kind of breathing fast that started squeezing liquids out of your face if you weren’t careful. Not doing that was like the first thing on the not having a panic attack checklist but somehow it was always the one Shuichi forgot first.

 “Inhale. Two... Three... Four... Five... Exhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...” Kaito repeated the rhythm and Shuichi could hear his friend matching it with his own breathing as Shuichi struggled to do the same.

 Inhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...

 As Shuichi counted in his head he felt almost every part of his body loosen to some degree.

 Exhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...

 With the exhale the pressure behind his eyes began to dissipate.

 Pretty soon Shuichi was breathing in a way that the kids these days would call normal. While breathing normally was something human beings needed to do to not asphyxiate, it was quite shocking how physically helpful it was in preventing Shuichi from crying on a bench in front of an airport in Paris.

 He could still feel his heart pounding in his head, but at least his breaths weren’t fighting to outmatch its volume.

 The pounding went away by about the third exhale. He felt his power of speech return after the fourth.

 “... Sorry.” He murmured into the receiver on his cell phone.

 “Nothing to apologize for man. What’s going on?”

 “I. Uh. Am having a panic attack in front of the airport for some dumb reason.”

 “Gotcha gotcha gotcha.” Some shuffling, as if Kaito was repositioning himself on the other side. “I bet it’s not as dumb as you think man. You wanna talk about it, or do you want a distraction?”

 A woman bleeding out on the floor, her face eternally frozen in a scream.       All your fault    .

 “... A distraction is good. Just having, like, intrusive thoughts right now.”

 “Yeah, okay. Gimme a sec to make myself sociable, it’s pretty late here.” Shuichi heard some more shuffling through the speaker. He’d probably woken Kaito up.

 “Sorry.”

 “It’s all good man.” Kaito shuffled around some more. “Hmm… Oh yeah, I had a question at dinner, no one was around to answer.”                “Oh, is Maki out again?” Maki was Shuichi’s friend, Kaito’s partner, and a professional bodyguard. She stood next to people and looked intimidating in a suit for a living. Sometimes she stood next to Shuichi and looked intimidating for free.

 Maki holding a pipe, the end coated in blood.      All your fault    .

 Inhale. Two... Three... Four... Five... Exhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...

 “Yeah, that’s our Maki Roll. Busy as a bee.” There was a scritching sound over the phone that could’ve been static or Kaito itching his stubble. “Since I was cooking for one last night I made Saturn-ghetti.”

 Shuichi wrinkled his nose instinctively. “Ew.”

 Saturn-ghetti was what Kaito called regular spaghetti with one big meatball in the middle. It sounded tame enough now that Kaito made the big meatball on his own, but when he first introduced Shuichi and Maki to the concept it was in their college’s cafetorium and he had just taken all the meatballs from a regular spaghetti and meatball dish and mashed them all together into one big ball in the middle. Shuichi had quite literally seen murder scenes less gruesome.

 “Hey man, I don’t judge Maki Roll for dipping fries in shakes or you for dipping bread in soups.”

 “Dipping is normal Kaito. You’re supposed to dip carbs. Everyone does it. You’re the only person in the whole world who mushes meat.”

 What about that guy who used a meat tenderizer to mush his victim’s faces in…

 “Why would you want to eat tiny meatballs?”

 “So you can eat them with the spaghetti.”

 “Can’t a guy just have a separate meat and noodle experience? You can’t even process the flavor if you eat both at once!”

 “They’re supposed to go together. Otherwise, you would just make a meatloaf.”

 “Well I don’t have a recipe for meatloaf Shuichi, I have a recipe for meatballs.”

 “Do you mean meatball, singular?”

 “Yes, I do. Glad we can both agree that’s what I mean since it’s the best way to eat spaghetti. Anyway, back to my problem.”

 “I thought this was the problem.”

 “Saturn-ghetti is not a problem it’s an art. My problem was that when I was making the noodles I realized that I had forgotten what that metal bowl thingy is called. You know, the one with the holes in it.”

 “If only that had stopped you.”

 “Yo, I’m serious! I have no idea what it’s called and it’s been driving me insane all night.”

 “Do you mean a strainer?”

 “No, I know it strains stuff but like there’s a different name for it. Like. It sounds like cauliflower? Except not because it’s not a vegetable.”

 “A colander?”

 “Yeah, that’s it! Jeezus Louizus that was driving me crazy. You’re a lifesaver man, where would I be without you?”

 “Uh probably googling ‘another name for noodle strainer.’” Shuichi didn’t really see how knowing what the metal strainy thing is called could save a life. Maybe if you were getting murdered and had one chance to write down the name of the culprit and you knew their name was the same as what that metal strainy thing is called but you forgot what it was. Wait, no, in that scenario you still got murdered. God, what was wrong with him? Did his brain always have to jump to murder right away?

 “Nah,” Kaito said with conviction. “I wouldn’t be half the man I am without my awesome sidekick around to back up.”

 At the familiar phrase, Shuichi felt his heart warm and the tight ball of anxiety in his gut loosened in turn. “Sidekick,” was admittedly an odd term of endearment for a friend of almost ten years, but if you knew Kaito you knew it was a word that meant something to him. To him, having a sidekick means having someone who you backup no matter what. Even if they make mistakes or aren’t sure of themselves quite yet. Because you believe in them. No matter what.

 “I wouldn’t be where I am today without you either, Kaito.” He sighed. “Not that that’s saying much…”

 “What do you mean by that?” Shuichi could hear the frown in Kaito’s voice.

 “Ugh. Nothing. Or. It’s just.” Inhale, two, three, four. Remember to breathe. “It just feels awful to be having a freak out like this again. I haven’t had a panic attack in like a year. It just feels like sometimes that I’m doing okay and I’m not still some stupid teenager still freaking out because I feel a little guilty about a guy being in prison and my parents not being around because of me and then I have a panic attack at an airport and it feels like I’ve made absolutely no progress at all in dealing with any of my anxieties at all and even though I’ve tried so hard to change who I am I’m still the same pathetic kid I’ve always been.”

 Keep breathing. Exhale, two, three, four.

 “Hey man, it’s okay. We all get those days sometimes. You feeling up to talking about it now?”

 “Which part?”

 “Like, why you were freaking out. It’s usually not for no reason, even if it seems like it.”

 “Uh.” Yeah okay. Breathing was really helping to clear out his head. He was feeling more in control of his general brainspace than he was a second ago, which was good. “Honestly it’s not the worst thing that could’ve happened. No one died. All that happened was the Louvre got robbed.”

 “Yeah, okay that doesn’t sound that bad.”

 “But on the other hand, it was the      Louvre     that got robbed. It’s a national treasure here. The whole country is going to blame me for it.”

 “Wait, sorry, what’s the loo in French again? I know it means the toilet in the UK, but does it mean something else in French?”

 “No, not the loo. The Louvre. The famous museum.”

 “Oooh, yeah. Right, right, don’t listen to me I’m tired.”

 “Oh, sorry-”

 “No, no, keep going. Listening to my sidekick’s problems is more important than catching forty winks.”

 “Uh. Right. So I’ve been tracking DICE for a while now, right?”

 “Uh-huh, the clown guys, I’m familiar.”

 “And I know Maki thought I was crazy, but I knew that they were going to pull this job on the Louvre, right? And so I get on the plane and this weird guy sits next to me. He breaks my seat and pretends to be married to me so that the flight attendant upgrades us to first class.”

 “What the hell?”

 “Is that weird? I couldn’t tell if that was weird or not.”

 “No yeah, that’s shady as shit. Do I need to come to Paris and tell him to step off for you?”

 “No, uh, you’d probably have a hard time finding him, because it turns out? He was the thief the whole time?”

 “Whaaaaaat.”                “Yeah, apparently I was just shooting the breeze with a criminal mastermind and I’m such an idiot I should’ve jumped out of the plane after him without a parachute.” Like that guy they found impaled by a lamp post...

 “Hey man that’s on him, you can’t blame yourself for the existence of criminal- wait did you say he jumped out of the plane?”

 “Yes.”

 “Like, while you were in the air?”

 “Uh, yeah, through the emergency exits.”

 “Duuuuude that’s super dangerous. I don’t know how high up you were but the pressure change could’ve caused all of the oxygen to suck out of the cabin.”

 “That’s… Alarming…”

 It also brought up some interesting questions. Shouldn’t the pilot of the plane have been able to tell that there was a life threatening pressure change in the cabin? Or did DICE do something to tamper with the equipment? Did they manage to jump out at an altitude that wouldn’t be lethal to everyone in the cabin through chance or calculation? In the latter case that might add to the traits profiling the group, the ability implying at least some form of higher education. What about other sources of information? Maybe they bribed the pilot? He’d need to be interviewed. Shuichi would need to make that suggestion when the police got here. They’d probably also want to do a forensic analysis of the drug that was used on the passengers. There’d most likely be some trace of component that they could utilize to locate possible business contacts or country of origin for the thieves. Knowing their flight information was also a great advantage, it meant they could track down several forms of ID. Even if they were faked it would allow for higher scrutiny on future flight paths if Interpol decided to pursue this investigation seriously. Toilets wouldn’t really keep their attention, most investigators at the Smithsonian were more concerned about the mammoth than all the stolen picture frames, so unless DICE made off with something more valuable this time around Interpol probably wouldn’t waste time sending agents over. Then again Agent Ishimaru was the agent in charge of the DICE case now and he was very thorough when it came to his investigations. If Interpol showed up, maybe Shuichi would get a chance to look at the next note when it was sent to them, like he had in America...

 “Hey, am I supposed to be able to track everything it is you’re muttering to yourself there or is that just for you?”

 “Oh, uh,” Hghk he was muttering out loud. “Just for me, sorry. Stuff about the case.”

 “Oh, yeah, okay cool, cool, cool.” Kaito paused for a moment. “Wish I could be there to back you up in person, man. Hurts my soul as a man and your friend that I didn’t support you all the way on this Louvre thing when you brought it up before.”

 “What?” Oh, he meant that thing that Maki said about him needing a vacation. “No, no it’s understandable. I was running on like… fifteen minutes of sleep and fourteen cups of coffee when I told you two about my theory.”

 “Man, I just want you to know that no matter what we’re always here to support you. Even if we get it wrong sometimes we’re just worried you know. Also, you need to sleep more.”

 Shuichi frowned. “You make it sound like you and Maki are my parents.”

 “Nah, parents suck. We’re your friends. Much better.”

 Shuichi laughed at that. “Yeah, okay, fair.”

 Was that a siren Shuichi heard? Maybe?

 “Kaito I think police are gonna be here soon. I gotta go.”

 “Oh, yeah, okay. You feeling better now?”

 Shuichi paused to take mental stock of himself. He tried to remember how he felt before he came outside. Things were fine, he was just doing some damage control. By all means this incident was a break in the case rather than the wrecking ball to his career his more panicked thoughts were trying to convince himself of. He was fine. Things were fine.

 Except…

 “Uh. Yeah, mostly. I guess maybe I’m just tired?” Yeah he was definitely tired.  His eyes felt like they’d just spent the last ten years trying to watch the wind on a mountain peak. “I dunno. Logically I know that everything is fine and I’m doing alright, but that part of me that feels like I’ve failed and I’m going to mess everything up forever is still there no matter what I do.”

 “Hey man, you know what I always say. There’s nothing you can do about the past, but you will always have the power to change what’s happening right now. You’re my sidekick and a brilliant detective to boot, you can do anything.”

 “Right. Yeah. You’re right.” It didn’t really matter that DICE had gotten away with the heist on the Louvre. Plumbing parts and paintings were replaceable. What Shuichi’s investigation had always been concerned with was the amount of unregulated capital DICE was accumulating and what exactly the shady organization was planning to do with it.

 “Now tell me what it is you wanna do right now.”

 “I… I’m gonna track down those thieves.” That would have to be the next step of course. There’d probably be some evidence at the Louvre if the police would let him take a look…

 “Heck yes you are!”

 “And I’m going to figure out what they’re up to.”

 “Hell yeah you are!”

 Shuichi laughed a little at Kaito’s unwarranted enthusiasm, but he let the mirth drained from his expression when he looked up to see the police cars he heard before pulling into the lane in front of the airport. An officer stepped out of the first one and Shuichi stood to wave her over.

 “Ah, the police just got here. I gotta talk to them.”

 “Fuck yeah you do!” Kaito exclaimed with the same level of pep talk energy he’d said every other encouragement with. “Go get ‘em Shuichi!”

 “I will.” Shuichi said, not entirely sure.

 “You will.” Kaito said, completely certain.

     I will.     Shuichi repeated to himself as he hung up and made his way over to the police officers. It seemed like there were three cars. That was kind of odd considering the 112 responder said it’d be two cars. Wait, was that last one a news van?

   Shit.

---

 Parisians are in shock after the theft of Dutch painter Van Huysum’s priceless, centuries old  painting “Vase of flowers in a niche” from the musée du Louvre just this morning. The following interview was conducted with M. Saihara, a private eye known for the recovery of a stolen mammoth skeleton from an american museum, called the Smithsonian, just a few weeks ago.

 Journaliste: What can you tell us about the robbery at this time?

 M. Saihara: It is the working theory of the Paris Police force that the culprits behind the break in at the musée du Louvre are the internationally wanted criminal group known as DICE. These police sketches have been released of two members of this group. If you spot anything or anyone suspicious, please report it to the Paris Police Prefecture.

 Journaliste: Are these the same criminals who robbed the Smithsonian in America a few weeks ago?

 M. Saihara: I believe so.

 Journaliste: Is it likely that the robbers are still in Paris?

 M. Saihara: Very likely.

 Journaliste: What are the chances that the stolen piece will be reclaimed?

 M. Saihara: We don’t have enough information to determine that at this time. Just know that the Paris Police Prefecture is doing everything they can to return it to the people of Paris.

 Journaliste: What of the criminals? Is it likely they will be caught?

 M. Saihara: If I have anything to say about it, yes they will be.

 Journaliste: M. Saihara, do you know if-

 M. Saihara: Je suis désolé Mademoiselle, I must be going now. The Paris police will most likely release a more elucidating press statement when more information is received. Bonne journée.

 Journaliste: Merci, M. Saihara.

       Kokichi Ouma exited out of the google translate tab he’d opened up on Queen’s laptop. At the end of the article were two police sketches. Jack’s didn’t look all that accurate (thank god for contouring) so Kokichi supposed they could all breathe a sigh of relief on that front. Now, the sketch of him on the other hand…

       King whistled and Kokichi realized the taller DICE member was leaning over his shoulder to peer at the screen in front of him. “That detective really got a good look at you.”

       Kokichi scoffed, not wanting to raise unnecessary alarm. “Please. The nose and eyebrows are all wrong.”

       “He really got down the bird’s nest though.” King pointed out, reaching to muss up Kokichi’s effortlessly stylish coiffure.

       “What’d I tell you?” Kokichi preened. “No living creature could forget a face like mine.”

       “You’re right,” King quipped back “It’s a face that haunts nightmares.”

       “A face only a mother could love.” Rook chimed in.

       “And yours gave you away after just one look!” Chirped Bishop.

       “Hey maybe that Saihara guy wants to try lovin’ it instead.” Queen interjected suggestively

       “Okay, okay, can it everyone,” Kokichi raised his hand to silence the spontaneous roast. “I’m thinking.”

       “Club,” He pointed at his second shortest croney.. “Where are we heading?”

       Club, who to his credit had been extremely focused on being polite and waiting for his turn and had definitely earned a heist after mixing ten liters of knock-out drugs in the back of a plane, exclaimed, “Theresthiscasino-” like he had been holding his breath, “-andtheyjustgotthesefancynewlightfixtures and, and, alsothesevintagearcadeconsoles-”

       “Sounds cool.” Kokichi’s tone didn’t give away the fact that he had no preference as to where their next hit was and only had getting out of Paris in mind. “Where’s it at?”

       “Uh. Like, Reno. Which is in Nevada. I think.”

       Kokichi frowned. “Nevada? Is that like a country in South America or something?”

       “Nah, it’s one of the United States.” Informed Ace, the only member who ever got genuinely interested in sight-seeing and therefore the only one who looked at maps that weren’t building schematics.

       Kokichi squinted at that. “We were just in the states. You know I’d rather jump off a building than rob the same place twice.”

       “Boss, you know, actually Nevada is further from D.C. than France is from Ukraine.”

       “What? But aren’t they in the same country?”

       “Yeah, the U.S.A. is just broken like that.”

       Ugh. Weird. Maybe Kokichi should also look at a map of the world some day.

       “Fine, okay, I guess since you twisted my arm, we’ll have to go to Reno.” If Kokichi remembered correctly telephones calling from France started with the area code of one of five regions. Paris had the code of 01, but if they were on the western outskirts it may be 02, or 03 on the eastern outskirts. Then the rest of the phone numbers were eight more randomly assigned numbers. “Let’s head out. Queen, do you still have that program for a spam call bot you showed me three months ago?”

       “Uhh maybe, but I’d need wifi for that.”

       “Okay.” He stood up, pulling out his phone to do some quick googling. “We’re gonna split in two groups. Red smiles with me in group one, we’re driving out to the Tours Val de Loire Airport down south. Make sure you have the right cover story IDs, it’s a three hour drive so prepare yourselves. Bishop, you’re going to have to do my makeup in the car. Everyone else will be in the other van with Queen, group A. After you’ve found a source of wifi, you five will be calling in some false reported sightings. Not too many, but enough in specific places we won’t be going that it’ll misdirect the police. I’ve written down the phone number rules for France on this napkin. If it seems like we’re in the clear you can overflow the system if you want to. Message us with progress updates and we’ll confer about flights and cargo control after group one has reached Tours Val de Loire. Group A will take off from the Orly airport and we’ll meet at Reno-Tahoe International in a few days. I've sent a message in the groupchat with everything I’ve just said, so don’t worry if you missed a detail it’s all there verbatim. Let’s get rolling.”

       “Yes, Boss!” The members of DICE said with varying levels of conviction.

       Kokichi handed Queen the napkin he had written on as the rest of DICE started to stand up from the four seater cafe booth they’d all crammed into like a clown car. He grabbed another napkin that he would use to write the next note to interpol. What would the six layers of cipher be this time? What about a set of random symbols equated to numbers that would represent the coordinates of katakana strokes in a one unit box which would then translate to english letters in a polyalphabetic cipher which would reveal the riddle? Wait that was only five layers. Eh, he could work on it in the-

 Kokichi saw detective Saihara’s photograph on the monitor out of the corner of his eye and his swirling thoughts came to a momentary hallt..  It seemed like the picture had been taken hurriedly outside of the Paris de Gaulle. It was blurry and a little dark. All Kokichi could really see was that his shirt was half untucked and his hair was so messy you could hardly tell he had eyes. Kokichi found himself wishing he could get a good look at those eyes. Just to tell what the detective was thinking.

 Not that it mattered.  

       Kokichi closed the computer and slid it over to Queen as he exited the booth.

       As he handed it over, Queen gave him an odd look, like he had noticed something. “Where’d you get that cut, boss?” he asked.

       “I punched through a window with my bare hands, just to feel something again...” Kokichi replied, putting on an exaggerated grimace.

       Queen gave him a look that said ‘what did I expect’ and followed the rest of the gang out of the shop.

       The Louvre heist was as good as over. He’d gotten away with it already.

       Kokichi wondered if any of the heists to come would be at all helpful in the war against tedium he had been fighting his entire life.

 “If I have anything to say about it, yes they will be.”

 Kokichi realized he was fidgeting with the bandage on his finger.

 …

 Good bye, Paris.

#shuichi x kokichi #shuichi saihara #shuichi danganronpa #kokichi ouma #kokichi danganronpa #oumasai #fanfiction #Phantom Thief AU #yeah im still here haha #this fic is long and im still working on it #Thank you everyone for your support! #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #danganronpa #I would read on AO3 if you need warnings #writing

[g5b3ysjw-blog]

How can insurance find out your the actually the Main driver when your only a Named driver on a car?

How can insurance find out your the actually the Main driver when your only a Named driver on a car?

Focus, thanks for your contribution! :D - it does sound very logicall Bardic, your answer is what i was worried about - someone investigating - but it does sound a little strong but likely though in even of a claiom as they are sly gits! that said Focus & Robin B does hve a good poitn about companies and named drivers!

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