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#know that was actually inspired by an episode of Great British Junior Bake-Off I saw
victorluvsalice · 7 months
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Valicer Not-Incorrect Quotes, Halloween Editon
[Context: Alice auditioned for a scare house and was hired on the spot to replace someone who'd quit suddenly; as a result, she was only able to send a quick text to Victor and Smiler saying she got the job and would tell them about it later]
Alice: [jumps out of a corner in the scare house, covered in fake blood and waving a knife] ARRRGH!
Pair Of Sisters: [scream and run on to the next performer]
Alice: [hides again and jumps out at the next passersby] ARRRGH!
Frat Bro: [screams surprisingly high-pitched and flees]
Alice: [hides again and jumps out at the next couple] ARRRGH!
Victor & Smiler, out on a date: [yelp -- then stop dead as they recognize Alice]
Alice: [also freezes as she recognizes them] ...
Victor: So this is where you were hired!
Smiler: [grins and waves] Hi bestie!
Alice: [trying not to laugh] Don't call me that, I'm trying to murder you.
--
Smiler: [entering the house fresh off a shift at Sunny Brews] Hey, I'm home!
Victor: [getting off the couch to greet them] Welcome back! I hope you had a --
Victor: [pauses, then leans in and sniffs Smiler] Goodness, you smell -- really good.
Alice: [getting up as well] They what? [goes in for a sniff too] Huh. You do smell good. Very -- fall?
Smiler: Yeah, that'll be the fifty million pumpkin spice lattes I made today.
--
Victoria: [showing the trio and Emily a new treat recipe she wanted to try out] And now you pipe your meringue on top of the cookie base in a swirl, like so.
Smiler: [looking at the resultant swirl with a raised eyebrow]
Victor: [guessing at what they're thinking] No.
Alice: [also guessing] Besides, it's white.
Smiler: ...that just sent my mind off in a different direction.
Victor: NO.
--
[Context: Victor, Alice, and Smiler are watching The Nightmare Before Christmas with Smiler's other coaster friends]
Thirteen: [glancing over at Victor and jerking her head toward the TV and Halloweentown] So, is that what your hometown looks like?
Victor: Har har. I'll have you know it's not nearly that colorful.
Rita: So more like the town in Frankenweenie, gotcha.
Oblivion: Does Jack come to your family reunions?
Victor: Come on, I don't look that much like a Tim Burton character.
Alice: You really do.
Smiler: You're one oddball corpse-revival away from starring in one of his movies.
Victor: [fake pouts] You're all mean.
Smiler: [winks] And we already know you like spirals.
Victor: [deep blush] Can we go back to watching the movie?
--
Alice: [sidles up to Victor drawing something and leans over him, grinning and showing off fake vampire fangs] Hi darling.
Victor: [glances up at her with a smile -- then does a double take when he notices the teeth] Oh! Ah, hello.
Alice: [still grinning, running a finger along Victor's neck] Like them? I got them just for you.
Victor: [visibly swallows] Ah -- they're -- they're very nice.
Smiler: [abruptly appears at the door in a lab coat and yellow spiral-pattern goggles, lounging against the frame in a way that's meant to be sexy] I understand someone in here needs some serious brainwashing?
Victor & Alice:
Victor: [snorts and turns away to try and hide his laughter]
Alice: [shakes her head, snickering] Way to kill the mood.
Smiler: This is the sexiest outfit in the world and you know it.
--
[after hours at the scare house]
Coworker: Hey, Alice? I saw you kissing some guy behind the attraction on our break --
Alice: Oh, that was my boyfriend, I wasn't making out with a random guest.
Coworker: [fidgeting] Yeah, but -- I saw him come in with some other guy, and kiss him too.
Alice: Oh, that was my boyfriend's themfriend.
Coworker: ???
Alice: We're complicated.
--
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