#let leliana and isabela be bi in peace

[rosehype]

DA Primary Tier Character Analyses, as told by me.

As always, if I insult a character you stan or just genuinely love, feel free to tell me in the replies! I’m always curious to hear why people love who they love.

alistair: you’re right, not all men. alistair theirin would never do this to me. should have been bi

morrigan: goth. that kid with the strict parents. she should have been a lesbian

dog: DOG!

leliana: bi nun with a surprisingly dark past. will have a threesome if you ask nicely

sten: broody ex-military father (with the obligatory soft interior)

zevran: this man tried to kill me but we worked it all out and now he won’t stop asking if im dtf. (the answer is yes. let me love you zevran)

wynne: mom got posessed

oghren: sir, im just gonna let you cry about your wife and drink in peace. you come hang out when you’re ready.

...

carver: hey PUNK

bethany: you have done nothing wrong, ever, in your life

aveline: badass mom. if she realized how corrupt the templars are she probably would have joined just to kick their asses. should have been a lesbian

varric: chest hair. father figure. dilf

anders: sjw ft. social justice WARRIOR

fenris: broody elf, has a good reason

merrill: sweet summer child- WHAT THE FUCK MERRILL

isabela: likes: threesomes, crime, alcohol, having friends. dislikes: taking responsibility for her actions.

...

cassandra: badass mom, religious, secretly into High Romance. should have been a lesbian. HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TEACH YOU THIS LESSON, BIOWARE

varric PART TWO: dad is sad

solas: boomer with an inexplicable number of stans (solavellans you CHOSE to do that)

sera: lesbian gremlin robin hood (FINALLY A LESBIAN)

vivienne: another boomer. fashion tho

iron bull: dad. also Daddy. canon pansexual. he said trans RIGHTS.

blackwall: you’re a GOOD PERSON THOM. i said CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. this man gets pegged.

dorian: problematic gay fave. has a good heart but he hasn’t yet figured out that slavery is Bad. he’s getting there

cole: this is a whole child. he also does murder. he doesn’t do boundaries. varric and solas are fighting for custody.

leliana PART TWO: nun with a dark past had a darker future. let’s go kill some people!

josephine: if you even LOOK at josie i will stomp you to death with my hooves

cullen: i get it, you’re straight. this man’s a cop but he should have been bi. other than being a cop he’s cute

morrigan PART TWO: why isn’t this goth a lesbian yet???

#dragon age #dai #dao #da2 #dragon age origins #dragon age 2 #dragon age inquisition #da #mine #this is meant to be funny #but its also genuine #i tried to be relatively impartial #but uhhh you can probably tell who i like and who i hate #*shoves* have this #also im temporarily refraining from having an opinion on dai morrigan

[autopotion]

dragon age non player canon companion romances ranked

1. Fenris/Isabela. Love stoic one/chaotic one ships. They genuinely like each other, and even though they're "only" sleeping together they're also not the types to talk about their real feelings so you can't convince me they don't care about each other. Also it's the rare case of fictional m/f ships where they're both bi and the resulting pair doesn't feel remotely straight. The fralthier of dragon age

2. Dorian/iron bull. You guys know how I feel about this one already. Dorian is highly strung and iron bull knows how to get him to relax, plus he cares about his feelings. By trespasser they are very happy together. Gays win

3. Sera/dagna. I love me some femslash but boy do I wish they had interacted on screen even once. Kind of feels like a weird pair the spares type thing. Still valid though

4. Cole/Maryden. They're sweet, I like zoe's hc that human Cole was still trying to set maryden up with krem but maryden just took that as Cole coming onto her and got interested lol. Best version of this ship is cole/maryden/krem. Extremely valid throuple

5. Vivienne/Bastien. I don't care for Bastien, or how old Bastien is compared to Vivienne, and I hate how it's a writing excuse to not have a viv romance, but I love how Vivienne feels about Bastien. This ship is really an excuse to showcase vivienne's deep and undying love for the people she cares about, and I love that aspect

6. Varric/bianca. I actually really like Bianca, and you can see how they care about each other, but varric just seems so miserable in a perpetually long distance relationship. Varric just get on fantasy grindr and find a man close to you

7. In the darkspawn chronicles leliana/alistair end up together and that is so distinctly unfathomable it's no wonder it's a doomed timeline ship. Leliana is way too mature and competent for him and also prefers women way too much? Like she's very much the bi woman who prefers other women, and if she did date a man I feel like he'd also be bi, like zevran. No way she'd settle for a milquetoast straight dude who can't even tie his own shoelaces

8. Aveline/donnic. Theyre both straight cops that I don't care about. At least they are not inflicting themselves on other people

9. Velanna/Nathaniel. He goes from insulting her to fondly calling her "my lady" and velanna is upset by it. I get they were going for a thou-doth-protest-too-much tone, but I'm also not a big fan of that sort of thing in f/m. Just leave her alone Nathaniel let her hate humans in peace

10. Blackwall/Josephine. He's way too old to be so taken with her. Thank god they only do the flirtatious glances thing and then drift apart

11. Oghren/Sigrun. He sucks with women in general but the way he speaks to women he wants to fuck is just the fucking worst. Sigrun mostly isn't here for that but towards the end of their banter it's implied she's just worn down from the advances and actually wants to try talking to him and/or do something, which is bad writing when oghren has just been so incessantly vile lol.

#dragon age blogging #long post ////