#like a ‘i’ve just reinserted myself into your life and maybe it’s better if i let you take the reigns to decide how you feel about that’

[yergink]

i keep thinking about a scenario where ed and stede dance together after they find each other again but before they properly get back together. where there’s still some tension, some hurt feelings, some tiptoeing around issues.

it ends up pretty awkward. stede leads, but they’re not on the same page right now, not in sync, and it affects how they move together. and after some stumbling around they decide to just stop. and it hurts for both of them—the mess of their dance translating to this idea that they may not be able to fit together again, that there’s some fraying in their connection that won’t be fixed.

but they want each other, of course, and they get the chance to try again. in private, away from any prying eyes, and stede asks ed to lead this time, and that’s a bit of an apology, too. and they manage a few minutes of dancing without stepping on each other’s feet, no music or audience, just the two of them. it’s a mend, somehow. a reassurance. and they pull to a stop and maybe kiss and it feels like a restart.

#ofmd #our flag means death #marine blogs #i am just particularly fond of when two characters with some level of tension between them have to dance with each other #in this situation stede letting ed lead is him giving ed space basically #like a ‘i’ve just reinserted myself into your life and maybe it’s better if i let you take the reigns to decide how you feel about that’ #although i suppose it could go both ways. ed leading first and stede leading second as an affirmation of want #as a ‘you’ve done enough let me take it from here’ #idk! lots to consider

[rainandhotchocolate]

Blackout - Part 12

A/N Bit by bit we getting closer to the end... ;) Not the longest chapter but I hope you enjoy nonetheless!! :)

Part 12

Sirius awoke to a loud shriek from behind him. He stood up quickly, slipping amongst the bed spread and tangling his legs so he fell backwards off the bed and onto the ground behind him, his legs still trapped on the bed, torso on the carpeted floor.

“Fucking hell,” Sirius swore loudly, groaning at the pounding in his head. He struggled to get his legs out of the blankets and finally managed to stand up, turning to face in the direction where the scream had come from. Y/N was staring at him from across the room, eyes wide, holding a blanket across herself.

Sirius then realised he was no longer in the form of a large black dog. And that he no longer was wearing any clothes.

“Fuck,” He swore again, scrambling to grab the bedspread and pull it over him. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to stay, and I wasn’t – I wasn’t like this all night, I was a dog.”

“A dog?” Y/N sputtered, “You were what?”

“Oh fuck,” Sirius groaned again, his whole head swimming now, “I forgot that you… forgot- don’t remember. Ok I’m going to get dressed and come back and explain ok?”

“Ok…?” Y/N watched him with an even more confused expression etched onto her face. Sirius gave her a reassuring smile and backed out of the door, still covering the front of him.

“Maaaaaate,” A voice came from behind him as he exited the room, and Sirius felt his whole body tense as James clapped him painfully on the back, cackling loudly.

“It is definitely not what you think.”

“By the absolute awkwardness in which you just left that room, I’d say it’s pretty clear what happened.”

“She was having nightmares, I just stayed to comfort her.”

“And you being naked definitely would help with that.” James grinned at him, pushing him towards the guest room. “Go get dressed you twat.”

“I transformed James, we hadn’t told her yet.” Sirius grabbed his arm. “Am I meant to tell her?”

“Oh shit.” James sighed, “I forgot she wouldn’t know.”

“That’s not helpful, James,” Sirius hissed angrily at him as James ran a hand through his already messy hair.

“I’ll get Lily,” James knocked on the door to their right.

“Yes, please bring more people into this mess of a morning.”

Lily pulled open the door with a grouchy expression, her hair in shambles and pulling a robe over herself.

“What – oh, hello there Sirius. I didn’t want to see this much of you so early.”

“So evening would be better?”

“Please don’t flirt with my wife,” James narrowed his eyes at Sirius, “Sirius transformed into Padfoot last night in front of Y/N.”

“WHAT.” Lily looked like he might strangle Sirius, “We are meant to be keeping her calm.”

“It wasn’t on purpose, she was having a nightmare and it was just automatic!” Sirius whispered back to her, stepping forwards before realising he was going to step on the blanket.

“Can you all please stop talking about me in front of my doorway.” Y/N was standing in the doorway, still wearing her pyjamas and now a very frustrated expression.

“Sorry, we didn’t wake you did we?” Lily said.

“I was actually woken up by the naked boy in my bed.”

“Yeah sorry about that.”

“Can someone just please tell me what’s going on, I’m getting very sick of being out of the loop.”

James sighed.

“Come on, let’s make you some breakfast.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N sat in the sun outside. It was still cold, the wind nipping at the exposed skin on her legs, but she sat against the large oak tree in the Potter’s back garden, a large coat wrapped around the rest of her.

She’d been lying there for maybe an hour, leaving the boys and Lily to go out to some gathering or whatever. She knew it was another lie. It was the way Sirius’s face sank when Lily spoke, when Lily looked at her forehead instead of her eyes. She wasn’t mad. It was more a sense of… ugh even my thoughts don’t make sense.

Part of her couldn’t stop thinking about the night previous. Of how safe she felt in comparison to every other night since she’d been back from the hospital. The other half felt like all she wanted to do was ignore the three of them until they decided to start telling her the truth.

She felt lost. Or maybe like she didn’t belong? She wanted to reinsert herself into her life, into some semblance of her life, but she wasn’t anywhere near that.

Y/N opened her eyes, standing up and taking in a deep breath. She grabbed her keys and wallet and left a note on the kitchen table before heading to the front step. Y/N closed her eyes and thought of where she wanted to go, turning on the spot and apparating across London.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dumbledore passed back and forth in his study, his steps loud against the stone. James, Lily, Sirius, and Peter stood in front of him, watching closely as he thought about what they had told him.

“It might be time to tell her a bit more of what she is missing.” Dumbledore said finally, turning back to face them. “But we still need to be sure she’s ready to join.”

“She is ready, if we tell her what’s going on-“ Sirius stepped forwards, trying to reason with him. But he placed a hand up.

“Y/N must willingly choose this path, I will not allow people to be brought into this if they do not make the decision themselves.”

Sirius muttered under his breath but otherwise stepped back to where James was standing.

“What about what Snape said the other night?” Peter called out this time, pulling Dumbledore’s attention back to him. Dumbledore sighed.

“As I mentioned there was a prophecy that told of a boy born who would defeat the dark lord. It seems that he has chosen you.”

Lily was shaking her head as he spoke.

“I still can’t believe that, nobody knows, we told no one about this!” Lily said, placing a hand on her stomach. “Not even Y/N knows.”

“We don’t know if perhaps there is a spy in our midst, or if maybe news travels fast in small towns like Godrics Hollow.” Dumbledore smiled at the group of them, “Let us not dwell on the potential for knowledge but prepare for the worst.”

“What does that mean.” James spoke slowly, his eyes narrowed.

“It means you need to go into hiding.”

Y/N knocked on the front door of a small cottage. She was picking at the edge of her fingernail when the door finally opened, Remus’s bushy brown hair sticking up on all ends.

“Hey Y/N what are you doing here?” Remus yawned. He looked paler than the last time she’d seen him.

“I… I guess I don’t know where else to go. I want to help. I want to help you.”

“What do you mean, me?”

“I was trying to figure out what felt so wrong, why I still felt like I wasn’t myself when I was doing everything I was supposed to. But every day I go into work and think I’m going to make a difference, help someone or something, but then every day I condemn another soul to execution. I don’t want to do that anymore, I want to help, properly.”

Remus cocked his head to one side, giving Y/N a once over. He sighed and smiled at her.

“Come in, I’ve got tea on.”

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#rainandhotchocolate #sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius imagine #sirius black imagine #marauders x reader #marauders x you #marauders fic

[langblr-o-kebek]

So after two of my friends praised it, I finally bit the bullet and got a menstrual cup. I had refused to try one originally because the idea of going inside myself to insert, adjust or remove just sent shudders down my spine. Even in intimate moments with myself, I do not go inside. I figured though that I've been switching out many other single use products in my life for more sustainable options, why not this. Plus, I knew that if I bought it, I would actually have the motivation to use it (especially since you can't return them under any circumstances!)

So I tried it once at the end of my previous cycle. Going in was fine, coming out was another story. I swear I spent 10 minutes in my shower dancing around to try to find the best position. I'll admit though, that afternoon while it was in, I didn't feel a thing and was super comfortable.

This current cycle, since I'm at my parents for the holiday, I decided to use it the whole time. First day was fine, easy insert, tricky removal but not terrible. The next time I had to remove it though, I was nearly in tears I was so frustrated. It took 20 minutes of crouching in front of my toilet trying every angle and squat level imaginable before getting it right. After that, I was ready to swear it off but some stubborn part of my brain told me that it will never get worse than that and I should keep trying. So I did. Each time removing after that was a breeze. I thought I'd be more bothered by cleaning but by removing it before I shower, emptying, washing, and reinserting in the shower, it's not bad at all. I am nervous for when I may have to wash at work in the future though maybe I'll be able to time it out so that doesn't happen. All in all, in one month I think I'll give it another go.

All in all, this is my personal experience and pro/con breakdown for anyone curious about menstrual cups.

Pros

• Change only 2-3× per day, a godsend on heavy flow days. And I know what you're thinking "I have a heavy flow, these won't work for me." Let me tell you, we ladies bleed less than we think we do. My heaviest day, after 12 hours, I filled my cup up halfway. You may bleed even more than that. In that case, empty every 8 hours if you're worried, it will become apparent to you very quickly how often you need to empty but I can promise you, it will be tough to overflow.

• No leaking (mostly, but not even near spotting level, depends on if theres blood in the cervix below the cup when you reinsert it)

• much more convenient and comfortable for working out than tampons

• more convenient for things like long flights, being at work or out and about all day, camping, and whatever other activity that makes it difficult to go to the bathroom often

• I feel less gross. Something about tampons and pads getting filled up made me feel so nasty but now that I dont feel a pad in between my thighs or a soaked tampon squirming it's way out, it's one less gross period sensation to deal with

Cons

• not for everyone (medical conditions, etc.)

• expensive up front cost ($30-$40 plus $10 or so for the cleaner. Saves money in the long run but not everyone has that cash to spare at one moment)

• I have Diva Cup brand and sometimes it pushes up on my bladder so it makes it difficult to pee, sometimes I pee more frequently. A softer cup might help this so I'll look into it, this won't necessarily happen to everyone, depends on your anatomy

Pro and con? You get real comfortable with yourself, your blood, and you know yourself better than any gyno ever will

Anywho that's my two cents on menstrual cups, if anyone has any questions or comments please ask! If I can help you make your decision about switching or not, I'd love to do what I can :)

#period #periods #menstrual cup #menstrual cycle