#like how i do not think bruce wayne has the constitution to let his baby 'cry it out' = clingy dami who hates being put down | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

regrettablewritings · 4 years

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How about indigo, teal, ocean, azure, cerulean and baby blue for Bruce Wayne?

With pleasure! Stuff’s below the cut!

Indigo (What’s their favorite scent?): In spite of how easy it is to forget this fact, Bruce is a sentimentalist deep down. It therefore stands to reason that Bruce is quite fond of smells that remind him of home or just have an all around domestic scent about them. He likes lemony scents because they remind him of cleaning products and baked lemony goods; he likes homemade cooking smells; he likes fresh linen; he likes that woodsy smell around his home because it reminds him of when he would join his mother on afternoon constitutionals around the estate or offer to help her with gardening. It’s honestly hard for him to pin down exactly what he enjoys the most but I think if he were being truly honest, he might admit that before the fire claimed Wayne Manor, he kept a vile of his mother’s perfume nearby that sort of served as a comfort item. He used it less and less as he grew older, but the purpose was still the same: to remember what his mother was like and to give him a sense of calm. But if he was being asked this by an interviewer or something, he’d probably just say something like, “A medium-cooked steak.”

Teal (How do they flirt?): It really depends on the circumstance, actually. During his younger years where he was more to indulge in the playboy image, he could be a lot more blunt with his flirting: A quirked brow, a smirk, maybe some choice words (or a plain and simple, “I’m a billionaire”). But as he’s gotten older, he’s become less energized about the idea of seeking quick fixes or even keeping up the playboy image (hence why the latter has especially fallen to the wayside). He relies much more on banter nowadays, throwing in hints of smiles as he gently snarks about the pompousness of whatever event they’re in attendance of, or throwing light jabs at his own discomfort of being there. The one go-to he uses no matter the part of life he’s at, however, is sending a bottle of fine wine over and raising his glass and nodding at the receiver once they’re told who requested it for them.

Ocean (What are their hugs like?): Kind of awkward, if we’re being completely honest. After his parents died, there weren’t exactly many people Bruce could hug or even felt comfortable hugging. The art of hugging became a bit lost on him for much of his life, giving way to decades of courteous half-hugs, handshakes, la bise, etc. to reflect how much more corporal his life was becoming. Making matters worse was that Robin is gone, so . . . If you were to request and somehow get a hug from Bruce, you’d notice they’re hesitant and a bit tense. Like he’s unsure of what to do to make it a good experience. Once you part, you may notice that there’s this lingering sense of . . . wanting?

Azure (Are they protective?): Absolutely. It started when his parents died and never quite left him. Of course, when it started out, most just assumed it was a case of a child being afraid of being left alone: Why he was reluctant to let Alfred go out to grab groceries, why for years he refused to sleep unless his door was open so he could make sure nobody left. But as he got older, it became quite clear he just didn’t want people to leave in that other way . . . Over the years, he’s tried to moderate his anxieties about others getting into danger, but it’s debatable as to how effective it’s really been. If anything, he’s gotten better at hiding the more innocuous anxieties about losing someone and now has legal access to some crazy shit to assure they won’t get hurt. The thing is, for as logical as Bruce can be, if he fears someone he cares about is in danger then all the sensible logic goes out the window and any smarts he has left get reassigned to working on a multi-step plan that works under the mantra “By any means necessary.” Case in point: Everything he did following the Kryptonian Attack was him being protective, but clearly taking it too far. Thankfully, following the banding of the Justice League, it appears that he may get a bit better about this. But until then (and even after), it’s probably just best to never appear as a threat in the eyes of Bruce Wayne.

Cerulean (What is their laugh like?): Rare. Even if he’s in a good mood, emoting just simply isn’t Bruce’s forte. Generally, the most anyone ever hears of Bruce is a husky chuckle. If you somehow manage to get an actual laugh from him, though, you’ll feel as though you’d caught a unicorn. The reality is that it sounds like any other laugh (warm, tinged with hints of gold around the edges) but because it’s coming from Bruce of all people, you’ll treasure it the rest of your life.

Baby Blue (What Greek god/goddess are they most like?): The root of Bruce’s identity as Batman has always been about fear. Specifically, striking fear into the hearts of his enemies, much like a boogeyman using his existence to coax children into behaving. I am therefore tempted to liken him to Phobos, the god of fear. (Never mind that Phobos isn’t really depicted in myths beyond being the son of Ares, god of war, and that sacrifice to Phobos is often recorded as quite violent, which, yes, Batman is violent, but Phobos’ sacrifices just seem unnecessarily grueling.) But if I had to pick a more recognizable god, I suppose I would have to go with the cliche pick of Hades. No, Bruce isn’t really death-oriented, but I’m going to just use the fact that the Bat Cave fits an underworld aesthetic and that as a billionaire who honestly kind of sticks to his own business, he also fits how Hades is a god of wealth who, compared to his brothers, minds his own business.

Thank you for asking, darlin’!

#bruce wayne imagines #bruce wayne headcanons #batman imagines #batman headcanons #regrettablewritings #batman v superman imagine #batman v superman headcanons #justice league imagine #justice league headcanon #character headcanon meme #bruce wayne imagine #batman imagine

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godstaff · 4 years

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Kent family watches the Incredibles movies

Clark: Well, guys: due to the pandemic, the JL has restricted the amount of operatives in the field, so Mommy and I will spend the day with our family. Do you know any of them? Where are they?

Aster: We’re here, Dad! We are your family!

Selene: He’s joking, you Goblin!

Aster: Shut up, “Big Larda”!

Diana: That’s enough! Both of you!

Clark: Mom is right: stop it now, or there won’t be ice-cream for anybody! I mean it. No more name calling, okay?

Selene: But, Daddy: aren’t we immune to this Covid stuff?

Diana: We are, Lena, but Dad and I have a duty to set an example to others. We are privileged, but we need to see the bigger picture.

Clark: Besides, we must not parade our immunity in front of much vulnerable people. It would seem like laughing in their faces. Even if we’re impervious, we can carry the virus with us and transmit it to the folks we come in contact with.

Diana: We can’t deliver the wrong message.

Selene: Okay. Why don’t we end the problem once and for all?

Diana: May be we can, but we have to give humanity the chance to try and solve their problems themselves. As Daddy says: “we can’t carry them straight to the top, we can only...”

Selene and Aster: “...help them up when they trip and fall.”

Clark: Exactly. And accompany them in their journey. In this cases, we intervene when things get way out of hand, or they will start to depend on us for anything and stop thinking for themselves.

Aster: Is it bad not thinking for ourselves?

Diana: Thinking for yourself is the best way to really learn. Let you to think for yourself is the best gift anybody can give you. Daddy and I can teach you a lot of things, but it is up to you and your analysis of those things to create your own personality and knowledge. Imagine your head is a library and Dad and me are filling it with books, all kinds of books: if you can’t think for yourself, there won’t be any organization. You are the librarian who organizes everything in your personal order, to connect those books with others of the same content. So far, you need guidance. The day will come when you get good at it, and won’t need any help. When people learn to think for themselves, it will come a time, perhaps, when they won’t need our help.

Clark: It doesn’t matter if you don’t completely understand all this right now: just remember what you can. In time you’ll find out the meaning.

Aster: I’ll try, Daddy. Lena: did you find out yet?

Selene: What I’ve found out so far is it takes a lifetime to do it. The important thing is keep on trying. It’s like having a baby brother: it sucks, but you get used to it. You may even enjoy it sometimes.

Clark: Enough with the learning moment. What you say we have a marathon of movies and junk food?

Diana shot a disapproving look in Clark’s direction.

Clark (with an apologetic tone): Just for today...?

Diana: Just for today.

Clark, Selene and Aster: Yaaay!

Clark: What do you want to watch?

A battle of propositions and rejections followed, from “that is too childish” to “ugh! That’s a girl’s movie!”. Until Clark said:

Clark: What if we start with “The Incredibles”? I’ve heard it’s funny and not entirely for kids. Besides, they could be us.

Selene: I’ve seen the first, I was your age back then, but not the sequel. It’s truly funny, and realistically shows the pain of having two baby brothers, emphasis on “baby”. Count me in.

Aster: I’ve seen both, but I don’t mind watching them again.

Diana: All set, then: “The Incredibles” 1 and 2 it is.

Clark: I’ll make the popcorn. Lena: a hand, please?

Selene: Sure, Dad.

Aster: Bring me a soda!

Selene: Of course, “my Liege”. Move it and get it yourself!

Aster: Mom!

Clark: C’mon, Len, we’re already here. Let get sodas for everyone.

Selene: Ugh! I swear I’m gonna kill him one of these days!

The movie started and Clark asked:

Clark: Do I look like that?

Diana: Don’t be so self aware: it’s a cartoon. Besides, you’re not blond, thank Hera!

Clark: I’ll double my workout routine, beginning tomorrow.

Selene and Aster: Shhhh!

Diana (whispering in Clark’s ear): Please tell me I don’t have that enormous ass.

Clark (also whispering): Of course not!

Selene and Aster: Shhhhhhhhhh! We still can hear you!

Diana and Clark: Sorry!

Selene (pressing pause): Doesn’t the villain remain you of Luthor? Minus the hair, that is.

Clark: Believe it or not, Lex had red hair too before losing it.

Aster: Dad: what do you think of capes?

Clark: I’m in favor, of course. It’s not that terrible, once you learn to deal with them. And they look majestic while flying. But you will have to decide for yourselves. Granddad Jor wore capes, and so did the fathers of aunts Karen and Kari, my uncles Zor from both Kryptons. It’s tradition.

Diana: And Grandmamá Lyta wears one for ceremonial purposes

Aster: And masks? What do you think of masks? They look cool.

Diana: Your Dad didn’t wear them because he wanted people to trust him. It would be a pity to cover that handsome face (smiling at Clark)

Clark (smiling back at her): When Mommy and I got together, the double personality made no sense anymore. We were not hiding our love to the World, and, if we did, Superman and Wonder Woman and Diana Prince and Clark Kent were two very similarly looking couples: tall, black hair, athletic build, etc.

Diana: People are not stupid: they would’ve connected the dots in no time, so we came clean. And it was a good thing to do: now we have time for our family, instead of wasting it in a job or trying to make another life as a civilian.

Clark: In fact, it’s very liberating not to hide half of the time, although I miss the office sometimes.

Diana: Look at uncles Bruce and Richard and the Robins: all, except Jason, have to work twice as much, and none of them have a real job.

Clark: Besides, just look at your sister: blue hair, 6′7″, a complete and total Kryptonian Amazon...and, before you say a word, you’ll be no different: as tall as her, if not taller, and the same build. You only lack the blue hair.

Aster: Why does she have...?

Selene: Are we done? Can we continue with the movie?

Aster: It was you who pressed “pause”.

Selene: Well: I’m done. Are you?

Aster: Yeah.

At the end of the first movie, everyone stood up and went to do their things.

Clark: Okay, people, the intermission is 15 minutes. Stretch your legs, if you have to.

Aster: It was very cool.

Selene: See? It’s not important how much we squabble, if we’re united when it matters.

Aster (coming back from the bathroom): Mom: Why does Lena have blue hair?

Diana: Dad and I are the first couple of our kind, therefore, you both are the first of your species. It was predictable you would have some genetic peculiarities. There was some magic involved in your conception, don’t forget Daddy is from another world. Don’t get me wrong: we made sure you two will not come out as strange beings, with two heads and all that.

Aster: It would have been cool to have two heads!

Diana: Mmmmno. We’d had love you all the same, though. Anyway, Lena was the first, and her hair is proof of that. You two are special, only in her case, she showed it immediately. Don’t sweat: you can still grow a second head.

Aster (enthusiastically): Really?

Diana (throwing herself over her son): Naaah!

Selene: Don’t talk about me behind my back! It’s not polite. I can hear you, you know?. Superhearing, remember?

Diana: I’ll have to teach you both sign language, so we can keep some secrets in our family.

Selene: You know sign language?

Diana: And Braille writing and reading. So does Dad. There’s also a language based on small taps on the other people’s hand, for those unfortunate who lost both, sight and hearing, called Tactile Signing. If we want to help, we must be able to communicate with everyone, back and fore.

Selene: I want to learn! I’m starting tomorrow!

Diana: How about you, Ast? Your sis is giving you the chance of starting early.

Aster: I would hate she talking to you and me not understanding it. I’m in.

Clark: Two minutes and the show will continue!

Once everybody was sitting, the second part began. Half way to the projection, it was Aster who pressed pause.

Aster: Mom, Dad: do you need to have a job?

Clark: We don’t really need it. Mommy and I can get anything we need, and so will you someday. We could have one, if we want it, but our work protecting humanity and raising you takes precedence.

Diana: Dad and I can find all kinds of minerals men consider precious and extract it with our bare hands.

Selene: If they want it, they can be richer that Luthor, Mr. Terrific and uncle Bruce combined.

Clark: But the pursue of riches is not a priority. Some time back, Mommy and I designed the basics for nuclear fusion based energy supply, which is sustaining our home, the rest of the Fortress and some parts of Themyscira. We gave the blueprints to Mr. Holt and uncle Bruce, so they could adapt it for human usage. Mr. Holt wanted to make it into a business, but uncle Bruce and I prevented it. It wasn’t an evil thing what Michael wanted to do, from a mundane perspective, but if the whole planet was going to benefit of the findings, we better let corporations and businesses out of the picture, We convinced him with only two words: “Fair Play”.

Diana: Lex hated us: he lost a ton of money and four of his energy corporations rolled the curtains down definitely. We made sure the employees left without a job, were absorbed by Wayne Enterprises and Holt Industries.

The movie continued. At some point, Selene interrupted it.

Selene. Mom, Dad: is it so easy to take over somebody’s mind, like in the movie?

Diana: Depends on whose mind. If the person is in need of something or lacking other things, like Elastigirl here, it’s easier to invade someone’s mind, the invaders has to take advantage of the weaknesses of that person. If Dad or any of you are in some peril, my state of mind will be compromised and I would constitute an easy target.

Selene: How can we prevent that kind of happenstances? Specially in our particular situation.

Clark: Being very careful, knowing all the time the others are safe. That’s why is so important to be always in communication with each other.

Diana: It’s not invasion of privacy, it’s just caution. We won’t stop you from living your life, we won’t use tracers or any kind of location devices: we are asking you to keep us informed. You’ll understand when you have children of your own.

Clark: There are individuals with immense power no mind can resist, like Maxwell Lord...

Selene: Who is that?

Diana: No longer a problem.

Clark: ...in those cases, we have to be patient and look for an opening. There’s always a mistake these people make: too confident and underestimating their opponent. There’s always, in the back of your mind, a vestige of consciousness. And Mommy’s Lasso of Truth will protect its bearer and it can reverse the process in others.

Selene: I see. But there’s always a risk.

Diana: Our occupation is always a risk. We must be prepared. Even if you don’t want to follow our steps, problems will reach you because of who you are, I’m sorry. It’s like being the offspring of someone very rich: there’s always a virtual target on your backs.

Clark: But life is beautiful and worth living, don’t let potential dangers take that away. People in other situations than ours are also in other kind of perils. Is a constant no living being can escape.

Diana: Animals in the wild are always at the mercy of predators.

Clark: Ours are just another kind of predators.

Selene: I think I get the idea, but I have to ruminate on it.

Clark: Sure, baby. Take your time.

Diana: We are here for any question.

Selene: Thank you. Let’s finish the movie, please. Hey, Astroboy! Wake up!

Aster: Uh? Are we done?

Selene: Welcome to the land of the living.

Aster: Can we finish the movie now?

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timeisacephalopod · 6 years

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Ironbat

Just a little Bruce Wayne/ Tony Stark thing because I felt like it lol. (Also Fun Fact about this: Bruce and Tony accidentally end up with like 6 kids in 2 years because they keep bringing home strays though, in Tony’s slight defense, Peter still has May so he’s only half adopted). Also ignore the hella uncreative name of this D:

Natasha considers Tony for a long moment and its fucking creepy, she doesn’t even blink. It probably doesn’t help that when she first came to America she told him if anyone smiled as much as Americans in Russia she’d punch them in the face but since everyone here does it she keeps that urge to herself. Tony honestly thought smiling was polite but okay.

“What’s he like?” she asks finally.

Oh, she wants to know about Bruce of not the Banner variety. Because they all know what Banner is like. He sighs and Rhodey’s soul dies, Tony sees it, because he knows Tony well enough to know he’s going to say something stupid. “I’m going to give a description and I need you all not to laugh or judge him, okay?” Because Bruce is sweet, and generous, and yeah he’s so dramatic he makes Tony look like an unseasoned chicken breast in comparison but he’s a great guy. He shouldn’t be judged for his dramatics. They don’t judge Tony for his dramatics.

Actually Stephen told him last week that his cars were ostentatious and if Stephen is talking about Tony’s cars being ostentatious they really must be something.

“He’s a damn furry, isn’t he?” Rhodey says and Tony resents that. Mostly because he wonders if the Batman thing constitutes as being a furry but he doesn’t think so. It is, as far as he knows, just a LARPing thing and its fucking hilarious because no one knows its Bruce Wayne under that dramatic ass cape.

“No he isn’t a furry, T’Challa is a furry,” he throws out there just to make Rhodey cringe. Sam and Rhodey basically worshiped the guy only to find out the dude dresses up like a panther on the regular.

“That is a religious thing, it’s exempt,” Sam says, throwing out his shitty rationalization that they all know is fake.

Tony rolls his eyes, “sure, bud. Anyways, Bruce. Don’t judge him okay, he’s a great guy,” he starts but Rhodey cuts him off.

“If you need to preface this with so much ‘don’t judge him’ he probably sucks,” he points out.

Pepper frowns, “we preface Tony with a lot more than this,” she says.

Tony is offended, truly. “Okay you know what, Bruce is the kind of guy who would say ‘hello darkness my old friend’ unironically and yeah that’s needlessly dramatic but we’re all needlessly dramatic here so no one should judge him for it,” he tells them all.

They all start laughing immediately like a bunch of twats. “What the hell, Stark?” Bucky asks and Tony squints at him.

“You texted everyone in our group chat ‘I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory’ when your cat stole your garlic bread. Rhodey, you drove a whole ass tank into a military bunker as a fuck you to your superiors. Stephen had that weird ‘sorcerer supreme’ phase and forced us all to call his cape a cloak. Natasha got memes banned in Russia and North Korea. Steve has told half the members of congress to fuck off to their faces and Sam made an AI he named Redwing because Bucky refused to let him get a falcon. Not a single one of you have a place to judge Bruce,” he tells them.

They all look properly shamed except Pepper, who grins. “I am not needlessly dramatic like the rest of you so I have all the right in the world to judge,” she tells them and Tony snorts.

“Oh hell no you do not. You’ve decided you hate fellow CEOs so much that you refuse to address them, only their wives. You once told Justin Hammer that you would rather drink paint thinner than spend another second with him. You punched Aldrich Killian into a pool because he made me uncomfortable. You once told a reporter that people fear you because you have the energy of a Lovecraftian monster. You are not exempt,” he tells her.

Sam laughs, “I remember the Lovecraft thing. You ended up being a lesbian meme for awhile after that,” he says.

Tony remembers that too, it had been around when the Babadook was a gay meme. Monsters were a thing that week.

“Is Bruce seriously that dramatic? I thought he mostly read to kids and whatever,” Rhodey says and yeah, he does that too. And a lot of charity work in orphanages. It’d been how they met- sometimes when Tony is sad he goes to hospitals and holds babies and Bruce happened o be donating money to that particular hospital and found him crying over a small premie that was so sweet and precious. They hit it off pretty easily but yes, Bruce is so dramatic he may give Stephen a run for his money.

“Yeah, he is one hundred percent that dramatic. You’ll find out,” he says. Granted most of Bruce’s dramatics went to his Batman character- Tony struggled not to laugh out loud when he heard Bruce unironically say ‘I am the night’ but he’s dramatic elsewhere too.

“Find out what?” Bruce asks, coming up behind them, smiling. Tony has never had a thing for classic Hollywood hot- too fifties for his tastes, but Bruce makes it feel different. Maybe its because nothing about him aside from his classic looks remind Tony of the past or maybe its something else, he doesn’t know.

“Holy Christ, are you even in there anymore?” Bucky asks, jabbing him in the side with his finger. Tony smacks his hand away after jumping a little.

“Yes, now keep your fingers away from me,” he tells him. “We were talking about you being dramatic,” he tells Bruce for reference.

Bruce’s eyebrows draw together, “I’m dramatic?” he asks. “Don’t you have a friend who insisted you called him ‘sorcerer supreme’?” he asks.

Right, Tony forgot about that too. “Yeah, Stephen got a little in character and none of us knew what the character was for but he’s mostly okay now, he’s chilled out a little. Come sit,” he says, shooing at Bucky to get out of the spot beside Tony. Bruce tries to move towards the only empty seat that is, for some damn reason, beside Sam but Tony pulls him back and continues to pester Bucky to go sit beside his damn boyfriend.

When he discovers they’re currently in the middle of an argument he’s not surprised, he’s watched the two of them get into it over Steve’s cat that died when he was ten of all things, but he’s damn annoyed to discover that this particular fight is about Sam not finding bats cute. Bruce lets out a small shiver and Tony holds onto him a little tighter, knowing about his fear of bats.

Honestly that only makes Batman that much more dramatic because Bruce fucking dresses up as his worst fear. Jesus, he really does have a talent for finding people who are so dramatic they could blend into a comic book easily. Bucky moves his ass finally and Bruce sits next to him and looks around. He pinpoints Rhodey as the most important at the table easily and Tony will never understand how he does that. It takes him ten seconds flat to find the person at the top of any food chain and he can figure out how to exploit them in another ten seconds. Its actually useful in business and Tony is surprised that Bruce’s success comes from reading people so well. But then Bruce thought he could do that too and had been surprised that Tony was just following math no one else saw. Pepper can do it now too so that’s neat, usually he can’t teach for shit.

“Tony has told me about your military career, you recently got promoted, didn’t you?” Bruce asks and Rhodey leans into it easily, going off on a tangent about his recent promotion and how he got it. Bruce smiles and listens easily, asking all the right questions because he’s freakishly good at people if they weren’t in a relationship with him. If they were, well, Alfred told Tony he has a fear of being close to people thanks to that time his parents got shot right in front of him as a kid. Tony thinks he deals with it well, or at least well enough that Alfred gives him advice and he’s seen how protective the old man is of Bruce. He’d chase Tony out of the mansion without a second thought if he thought he was a bad choice on Bruce’s behalf.

Natasha watches Bruce’s exchanges keenly because she’s as good at people as he is but when he gets to addressing her- right after congratulating Pepper on her recent multimillion dollar deal that no one else thought was a good idea but Bruce did for the exact reasons she did- he manages to find her soft spot too. “I’ve read about your rat rescue- I had no idea you could buy rescue rats but I suppose they might need it more than most. Its not like people care if rats are mistreated- people mostly want them dead,” he says.

She perks up, “and they’re very clean contrary to popular belief,” she says.

Bruce nods, “I used to have rats as a child. They’re smart as hell too, probably a little too smart for their own good actually. They were both escape artists and Alfred, my butler, was not impressed to find them in the kitchen more often than not,” he says and Natasha laughs. With that he somehow manages to win her over too despite the fact that she’s impossible to please and probably wants to punch him because he smiles.

And Bruce thought this was going to go badly.

Bruce is sure he’s managed to screw everything up given how utterly silent Tony has been through the whole dinner. Tony isn’t normally silent- he errs more on the side of dominating the conversation if only by accident but through this entire thing he’s said next to nothing. So by the time they leave he’s worried he’s somehow managed to say something wrong but he can’t for the life of him figure out what it is. He did his research- all of Tony’s friends are as impressive as he is in their own right and he made sure to acknowledge that- the fastest way to impress Tony was to recognize worth in others and Bruce finds it both telling and strange.

He’s never met someone who’s so attracted to the ability to recognize talent in others but Tony has a clear... thing for it. Maybe because he recognizes potential in the strangest of ways and in odd areas too- its just part of the way his mind works- and Bruce seems to be the only one who picks up on this aspect of Tony’s personality. And the potential Tony sees. Tony thinks he’s bad at people but he isn’t, he just sees them differently and this isn’t really odd considering he sees everything differently. What Tony is bad at is finding conventional ways to relate to people and Bruce likes that about him. It makes him feel less dangerous, somehow, like maybe if he’s different this relationship will be different too. He’s never been good at relationships, Selena knows that better than most.

“How the hell do you manage to do that?” Tony asks when they leave.

Bruce has no idea what he means and his gut twists a little, worried that he’s managed to botch this too. For the first time since... he hasn’t felt like running and he doesn’t want to do something to make it end. “Do what?” he asks.

Tony frowns, “win people over like that. I’ve never met anyone who managed to make Natasha go from suspicious to smitten like that ever,” he says.

Well, it might help him to know Natasha isn’t smitten, she’s just convinced that Bruce isn’t horrible. Its the best she’ll ever think of him most likely, she’s not the kind of person who would ever fully trust another person, but Bruce already knew that when they met. But he does at least relax because he hasn’t done something wrong, Tony is just impressed with his people skills again. Its an odd trait to hone in on, but its that, his generosity, his love of children, and his ability to disagree with Tony that draws him in. That’s probably the strangest combination Bruce has run into but he doesn’t dislike it either. Those happen to be the traits, minus his ability to manipulate people, that he finds most admirable about himself too.

“I just did my research, Tony,” he says. Its all he’s ever needed to do.

Tony smiles and leans into his side, “yeah well, was ready to write you off and now he thinks I’m lying about how dramatic you are so obviously your research paid off,” he says.

Bruce wraps an arm around Tony’s waist, “Tony he doesn’t think I’m dramatic because he doesn’t know about Batman and you’re not going to tell him. If Cobblepot finds out who I am he’ll use it against me,” he says and Tony bursts out laughing.

“I love you, but this LARPing thing is ridiculous. Endearing, but ridiculous. You do know Cobblepot works in a bank, right? He’s not nearly as impressive as The Penguin even if he sucks at names,” Tony says.

Yes, Bruce knows that already. “I’m aware of all my foes, thank you. Harley Quinn is a psychiatrist who’s real name is Harleen Quinzel and her girlfriend is Poison Ivy,” he says. Pamela a botanist and a very well known environmental activist too, Tony has read her work when considering his green energy projects, actually.

“Jesus Christ, this is so dramatic. How the hell did you get half of Gotham involved in a LARP?” Tony asks.

Well, that’s just an exaggeration. There’s certainly not that many people in the game and frankly Bruce doesn’t care if he’s winning.

#bruce wayne x tony stark #ironbat #fanfiction #alternate universe #writing

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newagesispage · 5 years

Text

SEPTEMBER 2019

PAGE RIB

July 2019 was the hottest month in human history.

*****

This Ordinary Life has sent the world their new EP, Sadderdays!! Give it a listen!

*****

Judd Apatow is putting out a book about Garry Shandling.

*****

Debbie Harry: Face it will be out on Oct. 1

*****

This year the Kennedy center will honor Big Bird, Linda Ronstadt, Earth, Wind and Fire, Michael Tilson Thomas, and Sally Field.

*****

Kentucky principal Phillip Wilson who banned books from his high school in 2009 for homosexual content has been arrested on possession and distribution of child porn.

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In Illinois, the capital bill is funded through a doubling of gas tax and an increase in license plate fees. The money is supposed to be for roads, public buildings and bridges. The state constitution tells us the state shall not pay for aid in any school, academy, seminary, college, university or other literary or scientific institution controlled by any church or sectarian denomination. Organizations that are now receiving some of the funding are, Catholic charities, The ARK of Sabina, Inner-city Muslim action network, Gifts from God ministry, Chicago center for Torah and Chesed, Hatzalah, Keshet, Jewish united fund, Lewis University, St. Ann Catholic school and Mt. Sinai hospital, among others.

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Gary Busey will appear in the off Broadway musical, Only Human where he will play God.

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Eastwood’s The Ballad of Richard Jewell is in production with Sam Rockwell, Olivia Wilde, Kathy Bates and Jon Hamm.

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For a look into Brian Jones death catch the doc ‘Who killed Christopher Robin?’

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Dale Jr. and family were in a plane crash but everybody seems to be ok.

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I hear that Porn hub is planting a tree for every 100 videos watched.

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Days alert: Rex is out. What about Chloe? Who will love her now? They still had the chemistry. Oh, never mind, Chloe is gone too!** Ted is out. Tripp is out. Jordan will be back briefly.** OMG How my heart fluttered when Tony and Anna saw each other again. Oh, the magic of a soap!! **At last Robin Strasser is on the way as Vivian. ** Greg Vaughan is dating Angie Harmon and they are a pretty adorable couple.**Why don’t they try to charge Kristen with Holly’s murder? She may want to tell them where they are then. And I am so sick of Eric leaving sweet women to sniff after Nicole, enough. He used to be one of my favorite characters but it has gotten old. ** Please Please put Xander and Sarah together!!!!!

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Dolly Parton’s America: A podcast will begin this fall.

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The new owners of the LA sex club that was known as Snctm are taking apps and promising carnal bliss.

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Scary Clown told workers in a GM plant in Michigan not to sell their homes. He promised the plant would not shut down and guess what? Lie!** Trump owes El Paso 470 thousand for his MAGA rally. ** Perhaps we should all refer to him as he refers to himself, Ttump.** A Nazi rally in Germany handed out hats inspired by the Trump campaign that read: Make Germany Hate Again.** We have to hit him where it hurts..$.. This is all he understands.** The evangelicals finally got a little upset when Trump took the lords name in vain. ** Trump wanted to buy Greenland, they wouldn’t bite and he cancelled his trip to Denmark.** Now he is The King of Isreal? The chosen one? The second coming of God? ** Word is that half of Trumps twitter followers are fake. Also, the US Labor Dept. says America created 500,000 fewer jobs in 2018 and 2019 than previously reported. **Rural farmers are 50-50 on Trump like the rest of us. Why do we categorize people? Things like this show that our differences don’t usually have anything to do with our religion, the color of our skin,$, job or location. We are different at our cores in what we think and feel about others and the world around us.** Scary Clown has told some staff to get this wall started no matter the coast and to just, ”take the land” if necessary and he will pardon them later. He has taken FEMA money to get the ball rolling as a hurricane bears down on the U.S.

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Why do we vote in those that allow the drug, insurance and credit card, lender companies to make all the dough?? Let’s ALL enjoy America.

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A newly invented bag can be dissolved in water after use.

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Pardon Blagoevich?? What??

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The Black Jewel Coal Co. has filed for bankruptcy. The miner’s last paychecks bounced. Nobody will answer their questions about their 4o1k’s. Since they are not technically laid off yet, they can’t receive unemployment. The company got 5 mil in emergency funds from the bank and they owe 976 thousand in fines.

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Kelly Craft, a major Trump donor is the new UN ambassador.**US ambassador to Russia, Jon Huntsman is out.

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I have to say, I don’t get why people aren’t more excited about the democratic candidates. There are a few that could go away but there are some really fabulous ideas there. I hope they put their egos aside when the last is standing. The lot of them would compose a great cabinet. And how do you not get excited about the future of our country?? How can you be so inside your own head that you put our own day to day ahead of your country? We all have to pay our bills, work, care for others and enjoy our passions from time to time but this is crunch time people!!! Pay attention!!** Beto’s REAL reaction to the El Paso shootings did more for him than all his relaunches. He was himself and not what he thought he should be. Trump and Biden were giving sympathy to the wrong cities for goodness sake! Trump couldn’t even show any true feelings as he gave the thumbs up beside an orphan and tweeted about how lousy Shep Smith as he flew to the next photo op of victims.** It’s hard to look away from the freak show.** The next Dem debate is Sept.12.

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With no notice, immigrants who are here for life saving treatments have been given 33 days to clear out of the country.** Scary Clown is fighting with Comey again. What an unhappy schmuck this President is.

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It seems to me that if 2 people had run for student council president and the winner cheated and abused his office, they would make him step down. Would they have another vote or let the opponent step in?? The President of the US post is a bit more important than student council President. ** Now Trump is thinking that nuking hurricanes might be a good idea.

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If elected, Bernie says he will tell us what is known about aliens from outer space.** Hickenlooper is out.** Seth Moulton is out.**Jay Inslee is out (oooh, that one hurts). I love ya Jay!! He is now running for reelection as Governor.** Gillibrand is out** Former Illinois congressman Joe Walsh and former Massachusetts Governor Bill Weld are in for the Republican side.

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Some studies show that over 50% of inmates have dyslexia.

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Jim Gaffigan made some jokes about craft beers including how labels might have say a penguin wrestling a cactus. Well, a small brewery in NY has made it happen with their blend called Penguin and Cactus

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6000 people of Oklahoma are dead from opiods and Johnson and Johnson have been ordered to pay $572 mil per the court verdict.

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The International wildlife regulator has banned the capture and export of baby African elephants.

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Leslie Jones is out at SNL.

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“Under the Trump administration, the pledge ”the right to bear arms,” has morphed into “Don’t just stand there, shoot somebody.” – Carl Reiner

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In the event I am killed, organize, mobilize and get the peace plan passed and put my body on the NRA’s doorstep in Fairfax, Va. – David Hogg

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The trailer for this Joker movie with Joaquin Phoenix, Marc Maron and Robert DeNiro looks fucking amazing!! Hurry up Oct.4!!

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The NRA has 5 million members but one still has to wonder why the rights of gun owners supersede the rights of everybody else. Why don’t we hear more about their money scandals? Just when you hear that Trump is asking his people behind the scenes if the NRA still has power, he and LaPierre talk and the Pres backs off his tough gun talk. We know who is Wayne’s bitch. ** A group of surgeons have been showing X-Rays of what a gun can do as they protest gun violence.** The world now has bulletproof backpacks.**New schools are being designed to cut down the number of victims of a shooter. Hallways are curved and classrooms can lock.

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The Firearm dealer license certification act in Illinois requires those who hold a Federal firearm license to also obtain a state certificate of license and comply with state regulations. All dealers will be required to have security alarms where guns are stored in case of intrusion. Dealers will also have to keep electronic records of their inventory. Gun dealers and the Illinois state rifle association are challenging, of course before this all takes effect in 2020.

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“We don’t have an actual Presidency right now. We have a reality show whose ratings have begun to slide and whose fading star sees cancellation on the way.” – Eugene Robinson.

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The Bruce Lee philosophy , Be Water, is being used by the Hong Kong protesters. Be Strong like ice. Be fluid like water. Gather like Dew. Scatter like mist.

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As the crackdown on immigrants continues, word is that Trump still employs many undocumented workers. And why aren’t the employers arrested?** The administration wants to make it easy for the wealthy and educated immigrants to come to this country. Again, only the rich have rights.** Trump has moved $150 mil from FEMA to the immigration courts as hurricane Dorian heads this way. ** He is telling his staff to just “take the land” and build the wall, disregard environmental rules and he will pardon them. A joke?? I wouldn’t be so sure.**

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Jews against Ice really let ‘em have it. They shut down Amazon as they marched against the internment of immigrants. The rally cry: We will not stay silent while tech companies profit off of cruelty.

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Jeff Epstein is dead and the conspiracy theories have begun. Many are glad that Epstein is dead and some wish he had lived to pay for his crimes. Would he have turned on his high end friends? David Koch is also dead.** Word is that in 2008 Epstein bought female undies from the jail shop.

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A recent survey shows that 45% of people wear underwear for 2 days, 13% for a week. Tell me this can’t be true.

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Chris Christie and Anthony Scaramuchi are always everywhere and now Sean Spicer on Dancing with the Stars?? OMG.. Can we stop seeing these people?** Sarah Huckabee Sanders is joining Fox news.

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White Supremacy is officially the majority of domestic terrorism in the U.S. Now, let me see, who seems to want to be their leader?** Advertisers pulled out of Tucker Carlson’s show after he called white supremacy ,’not a thing.’

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Truckers have been really hurt by the tax cuts. Longer hours and less money have come since they can’t deduct expenses the way they used to. Regulations have been relaxed that limits hours on the road.

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The Department of labor is proposing a rule that would allow government contractors to fire workers who are unmarried and pregnant or LGBTQ.

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David Gilmour sold his guitars for 20 thou and used the money to fight climate change.

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Michael Cohen claims that Jerry Falwell Jr., his wife and a pool boy they met at a hotel became fast friends. Eventually Cohen had to intervene because of some lurid photos. He claims that the Falwell’s are quite kinky. The couple gave the pool boy over a mil to buy a resort that has become trendy with the LGBTQ community. Apparently nobody else knows what is on those photos that Cohen brokered a deal for.

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Kathy Griffin: A Hell of a story won the Freedom of Speech award at the Traverse city film fest. She announced the release of the film by giving a heads up to hashtag emmyless Donald.

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California is trying to make those that run for President show us their tax returns. Illinois rejected that idea.

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Blaze it forward

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U.S. Fencer, Rick Imboden took a knee during the national anthem after taking gold at the Pan Am games.

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Stumptown looks like a good show but boy what a terrible name.

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Check out the new book, Catch and Kill by Ronan Farrow.

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Ron Burgundy has been making the rounds.

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Yada Yada Yada politics has made its way into our thoughts with Marianne Williamson warning us of business as usual.

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Geena Davis is getting the humanitarian Oscar.

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In a joke that Seth Meyers told he said, ”Cleveland Browns win Super Bowl!” So it may never happen but it was nice to hear.

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Chairman of the parent company of Equinox and Soul Cycle and owner of the Dolphins, Stephen Ross, caused a stir when he held a fundraiser for Trump.

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Liam and Miley broke up.

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Someone started a little joke about renaming the street in front of Trump tower. But people have started to take it seriously and NY is considering the name President Barack Obama Avenue.

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The administration is rolling back regs on the endangered species act. It has been a great success but Trump and the lobbyists think it just stands in the way of their profits.

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28% of delivery drivers have eaten some of your food.

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The Rolling Stones are trying to push a green agenda on the latest tour. At some venues fans can purchase a tones cup for $3, use it all night and then take it home or turn it in for your $3 back.** In 1964 the first Stones album came out and the Mariner 4 fly by satellite had its first look at Mars. In November last year the Insight lander thrusters disturbed a rock on Mars which has been dubbed Rolling Stones rock.

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Studies show that the most dangerous years of our lives are the year we are born and the year we retire. Depression spikes 40% after retirement. In Okinawa, Japan they don’t even have a word for retire. On the whole they eat a lot of fresh seafood and eat smaller portions. They seem to live the longest, healthiest lives.

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The green shirt guy was a thing for a few minutes.

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Wal Mart is really cracking down on security, one store at a time. Some people are asking the store to stop selling guns and donating to NRA backed lawmakers.

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The Black lady sketch show is Robin Thede’s new thing which is good but her last show was good too.

R.I.P. Saoirse Kennedy Hill, Hal Prince, the El Paso and Dayton and Odessa/Midland shooting victims, D.A. Pennebaker, Toni Morrison, Jimmy Aldaoud, Valerie Harper and Peter Fonda.

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