#like if i was given the chance i think id just spontaneously combust

[damijon-supersons]

Continuing with the 5+1 ficlet, lest see the part of Maya!, also thanks for doing gods work.

Haha..hahaha…okay, so I tried something new here. Censoring myself so that this is still sfw even though it’s hilariously lewd XD Did I do the right thing?? Did I go too far?? I’m sorry Maya!! *gets shot* *you’re welcome* *please don’t ban me*

This is gonna be great! Maya said to herself. She smiled, although her mask hid her excitement. She nimbly climbed up Wayne Manor’s eastern wall, and through a second story window that she knew quite well—Damian’s room.

If she were any other wannabe thief, the manor’s defenses would have already blasted her to kingdom come. But she was Nobody, Damian’s erstwhile companion and partner. She had a special ID chip that let her through the manor anytime she wanted, given by Batman himself. Batman would know she was visiting—but not Damian. That was Maya’s master plan.

Her ‘little brother’, as she’d taken to calling him, had been very busy the past year, teaming up with Jonathan Kent—Superboy—and leading the Teen Titans. He and Maya hadn’t gotten a lot of chances to catch up with each other, and she was busy with her own adventures. That’s why she decided to surprise Damian with an unannounced visit.

The idea was she’d sneak into his room while invisible with her suit’s cloaking mechanism, and then, when Damian comes in and lets his guard down, she’d re-appear and scare the cape off of him. Not that Damian was ever the kind to fall for jump scares, but it was always fun to try.

Maya climbed into the window, noting the thankfully-inactive Taser prongs all around the frame. It was much like she’d remembered when she last came in here. It was a simple and well-organized room, quite unlike that of a regular teenage boy’s.

A queen-sized bed stood in the center with its red silk sheets orderly and made. Simple oak drawers and dressers gave off a rustic yet quietly elegant feel to the room. Wall mounted racks and cases held a multitude of weapons, including various katanas, throwing stars, a sickle and mace combo, and a staff that looked suspiciously like the one Tim Drake uses as Red Robin. Other cases held stranger trinkets, including a bladeless sword hilt, and a case with a celestial bronze Greek sword gleaming inside.

Just then, Maya heard footsteps. Excited voices followed, which sounded something like a stiff “We’ll just be in my room,” and a giddy “Hi, Alfred! Bye Alfred!”

They’re here, Maya thought. She turned on her suit’s cloaking, and crouched in a corner, perfectly invisible. It looked like Jon was with Damian today. Even better—Damian will have an audience to whatever embarrassing reaction he’ll have to being surprised.

Jon barged through the door first, a grin plastered on his face. His messy mop of dark hair swayed across his forehead as he ran, and his bright blue eyes shined in the light. He was dragging Damian by the hand almost impatiently. Damian didn’t look too upset, strangely enough. Even weirder, he looked like he was smiling.

Maya was just about to leap up and turn visible, but she caught herself when Damian locked the door. That was weird. Even weirder—Damian took off his mask and both boys held hands facing each other. Supposedly, Maya was the one who was going to shock and surprise Damian today. She never would have thought that the tables would be turned on her, that her heart would jump up to her throat and her eyes would bug out from inside her mask as she watched Damian Wayne passionately kissing Jonathan Samuel Kent.

Maya could feel the heat rising to her face and her display seemed to fog up as Damian and Jon continued their fierce lip duel, slurping, smacking and popping sounds wantonly filling the room. Their hands roamed all over each other—at first it was a firm embrace, then Jon stroked Damian’s hair while Jon stroked Damian’s back, and their hands got lower…and lower, and Maya almost squeaked. She watched in a daze as parts of Robin’s costume fell to the floor, Jon helping Damian disentangle himself from them as if they were on fire. Damian returned the gesture, almost ripping off Jon’s jacket with urgency, all the while managing to keep his lips on his taller friend.

Someone, please kill me, Maya thought to herself. Much to her dismay, a pair of sky blue boxers printed with Superman logos smacked her in the face and settled on her lap. She didn’t dare move to take it off. In front of her, she saw more of Damian than she’d ever wanted to see in her life. His body was small but well-toned, and that was all Maya was willing to process about the unclothed Robin at the moment. Jon’s body was mostly obscured by Damian’s…back, but Maya could see enough that she felt like she had to apologize to Jon after this.

Damian gripped Jon with both hands and pushed him onto the bed. Damian lay on top of him and they continued their feverish close-contact dance. From where Maya sat on the ground, hugging her knees, she could only see the side of the bed, and half of Damian’s back. She was glad she couldn’t see more, otherwise, she would’ve spontaneously combusted on the spot.

Mental note, install reverse noise dampeners to soundproof my helmet, she thought to herself again. She was very much used to Damian barking out orders, she was used to his sharp grunts and shouts as he fought with ninjas, assassins, monsters, robots, and gorillas. But she’d never heard him moan. And try as she might, she’ll never forget that sound, and she’d forever associate it with Damian’s face, especially when he wanted to look serious. Jon was worse—Maya genuinely wondered how the whole manor hadn’t already heard him squealing in delight. Even worse than Jon was the bed. It creaked and groaned, its springs squeaking like over-stressed metal. The sound was a constant rhythm, and coupled with the boys’ impassioned outbursts, Maya couldn’t think of any sound in the world that was any more terrifying. She looked daggers at the bed, but it continued to creak like the inanimate furniture that it was, as if to tease her.

Another moment later, and both boys rolled toward the other end of the bed, shifting them out of Maya’s view. All the while, she kept mentally muttering, “Please be done, please be done, please, oh gods, be done.”

One thing was for sure—she would never come to visit Damian again without calling first.

***

“Pennyworth, I trust you with the utmost secrecy of this matter,” Damian said curtly.

“Of course, Master Damian,” Alfred agreed sympathetically.

Jon hung his head in embarrassment—he couldn’t even look the old kindly butler in the eye.

“Please, Alfred,” he pleaded. “If my mom finds out I lost my boxers, she’ll flip and then she might start to ask…” he couldn’t finish the thought.

“I’m sure it ended up in that corner last night, but I might have been mistaken.” Damian pointed to a corner of his room.

“Rest assured, Master Jonathan, your…undergarments will be found with all due haste and privacy,” Alfred said, and then he closed the door behind him.

Damian looked to Jon and said, “Don’t worry. If he can’t find your boxers, I’ll just give you one of mine. You can just tell your mom we swapped underwear.”

Jon sighed and shook his head.

“I’m not even sure if underwear swapping is a thing…”

“Sure it is!” Damian insisted. He held up a pair of white boxer shorts. “Here, this is a perfectly good pair of Calvin Kleins…”

Jon rolled his eyes. He was already thinking of a good way to say “It was Damian’s fault!”

#damijon #ask #prompt #fic #super sons #damian wayne #jonathan kent #nsfw?? #I'm not sure #I"m sorry #i tried my best #this got way too long #maya is going to kill me