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oxbridge-quality-fanfiction-co · 3 years

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The Lovelorn Monster

Welcome to my first Modern AU, which I wrote for @lovelyrita1967 It’s a Geraskier Romcom with extra suffering and gore! Also, it’s a Christmas fic as @booichiboo requested. 16k, M.

You can read it on AO3.

Summary: It's been many months since the mountain incident. Jaskier is alone on Christmas day. His lovely, old house has somehow become a monster-infested hellhole. Now it seems there might be a way to kill two birds with one stone. Only deciding what actually needs killing is much more complicated than that.

cw: blood, so much blood, also a lot of angst (although there’s a happy ending), suicide references, some Geraskier disagreements and heartbreak. No sex, but there’s a fair bit of angsty cuddling and some much less angsty kissing.

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When I am laid, am laid in earth, May my wrongs create

No trouble, no trouble in thy breast;

Remember me, remember me, but ah! forget my fate.

Remember me, but ah! forget my fate.

Dido’s Lament, Henry Purcell, adapted from The Aeneid

Jaskier stared at his beautiful, tall, richly dressed Christmas tree with pride and a wistful smile. Each ornament was a souvenir or a gift. This tradition gave his decorations deep meaning, but also made him reluctant to come anywhere near the tree this year.

Memories. He had a cardboard box full of them. There was a delicately carved wooden heart covered in rich, red paint he received from Countess de Stael. Then his favourite - a perfect, tiny copy of his lute he had ordered to celebrate his first successful performance for the royals. He even had a little doll that a sibele, a demon who steals children, was using to lure a baby when Geralt cut off her head.

Geralt never approved of Jaskier keeping the toy, let alone using it as an ornament. ‘I don’t need keepsakes to remind me of the last time I killed something,’ his gruff voice would say.

Well, this year it’s going up. Jaskier picked a spot for the doll with a rebellious toss of his hair. It was quite a nasty, clumsily knitted thing. Seeing it on the tree succeeded mostly in creating an uncomfortable lump in his throat as he imagined Geralt sitting on his living room sofa, relaxed, with a snide smile, some acerbic remark already forming in his head.

Perhaps Geralt would ignore the doll. ‘You just love making yourself sentimental,’ he’d say instead, seemingly no connection, just a short, judgmental glance at the tree.

And Jaskier did, actually. No shame in that. It had its benefits. In his mind, Geralt could easily become just the memory of a perfect, lost friend, regardless of how he would feel about the prospect. He was the hero Jaskier once traveled with, no more, no less. They parted ways for perfectly rational reasons.

‘Just give me a couple of years,’ he said to the imaginary Geralt in his mind and smiled with pride. Being the storyteller meant being in control.

Then he noticed a little ornament shaped like a golden dragon lying at the bottom of the box. The sight made him freeze for a moment. He shook off the memory and ignored the draw towards his phone which has been intensifying over the last couple of days.

Everything was going fine. The phone was just playing music, lying perfectly innocently on the windowsill as it should. It was set on shuffle, and Annie Lennox’s “Dido's Lament” was on, a little bit ominous, but also somehow appropriate.

He hummed with the music while hanging up a few golden baubles. As he started to sing, another voice joined in, a distant echo of his hum, a gentle, female timbre following along quietly. It made him smile, eyes suddenly attracted to the window. It was already getting dark, and the Christmas lights he put up outside were reflecting in the glass. A weird glow by the evergreen shrubs made the snow underneath them shine delicately.

The decorations were nearly complete. There was a comforting smell of cinnamon and apples coming from the kitchen. Also, he still had some surprisingly successful homemade ginger biscuits left.

The golden dragon was the last thing he hung on the tree. He flinched a little as he did, but it was where it belonged. Then he moved away to admire his finished work. ‘Better late than never,’ he whispered to himself.

At that exact moment, the next song started to play. Jaskier instantly recognised it and stared at his phone as if it personally insulted him.

‘It's been a blue holiday since you've been gone,’ Aretha Franklin started to sing.

‘Oh, no you don’t,’ Jaskier whispered while walking calmly towards his phone.

‘Oh darling, won't you hurry, hurry home,’ she continued undisturbed.

He actually liked the song and was starting to wonder if he was overreacting.

‘It's been a blue… a blue holiday. And I'm all alone.’

No, he wasn’t.

‘My dear I need your love to keep… to keep me warm.’

Yeah, sure, like that was ever an option, he thought to himself.

‘I cry when I hear the chapel bells ring… And sometimes I cry all through the night.’

Fuck. Jaskier’s fingerprint lock was a little wonky.

‘Won't you please come home and make my… make my holiday bright.’

Finally, he managed to skip a couple of songs, and quickly discovered he actually preferred some silence this time. He took a deep breath and decided it was time to focus on cooking. That should be comforting enough.

As soon as he turned towards the kitchen he heard a weird, buzzing sound, and then a high, disembodied laugh. Lights flickered. There was a loud crash, a cavalcade of many little objects falling all at once, baubles suddenly bouncing off his furniture. A glass ball he bought at a little Christmas market in Vizima rolled in between his feet.

He swore under his breath and turned back. All the ornaments were lying on his wooden floor, and only the Christmas lights remained. A small dark shape with sharp horns moved along the wall and then disappeared behind the sofa, still giggling to itself.

Jaskier stared at the naked tree, feeling a bit hopeless. Then he climbed up the sofa pillows and looked into the tight space between the wall and the backrest.

Two small, red eyes stared back.

‘Proud of yourself?’ he asked with irritation and heard only a quiet hiss in response. ‘You know what? Fuck you. Sincerely, fuck you.’ He pointed at the thing, his eyes narrowing. ‘No more biscuits for you. You’re going down,’ he threatened, a surprising and, by all accounts, disproportionate amount of uncurbed fury in his voice, hand shaking slightly.

For a moment Jaskier seemed overwhelmed. He took a couple of very deep breaths, then coughed a little and his eyes watered. ‘Right,’ he said to himself, his attempts to calm down obviously failing. He stretched his neck, then rolled his shoulders, releasing the tension with a sigh. ‘Right,’ he repeated as his expression switched to resolve.

He squeezed his phone with newly found determination, and then fiddled with it nervously for much longer than he originally planned.

Finally, he clicked on his least favourite icon of all - the phone app.

The signal was ringing loud in his ears. Time slowed down. He was just about to hang up when he heard a deep voice on the other side. ‘Yes?’

‘Vesemir,’ Jaskier announced, jovially. ‘Merry Christmas!’ He listened to Vesemir return the greeting and massaged his temples nervously. ‘Yes, thank you. Erm… I was just wondering… No, no, I am not going to hang up. Whatever gives you that idea?’ He laughed nervously. ‘I do need help. It’s a dreadful emergency. No… Of course, I would have called otherwise. Yes, it’s quiet because I’m at home. No, I have not been drinking. I am most definitely sober. Yes, yes, yes… No, I do realise… I actually do have a monster that needs to be… witchered? No, it’s not just one, actually… It’s- it’s a couple of things, really. I know it’s Christmas. Yes, I see your point. But… isn’t Geralt working anyway?’

He waited as the line went quiet for a while. ‘Yes, I did just ask for Geralt,’ he confirmed.

No response. Vesemir must have moved away from the phone, and there was a sound of distant chatter. When he returned his voice was hesitant. ‘You’re sure about this?’ he asked.

‘Yes, I definitely want Geralt here. As soon as possible would be grand,’ Jaskier confirmed again, surprised at how confident he sounded.

‘Fine,’ Vesemir said finally, before hanging up right away, voice a bit more irritated than the situation justified.

Jaskier put the phone away and tried to force himself to breathe again.

You can read the rest on AO3.

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Extra thanks to @ohmybgosh @variousnoises

@thelastsock @jaskierswolf @rawrkinjd @katesierra @gilbert-von-kneecap @stinastar @carmillacarmine @ro-the-bard-writer @ikeptupwiththejoneses @purpleonionofsex @marvagon @fontegagrilledcheese @sarah-midnight @geraskierficrecs @renfribrooks @darknessyuu @comfortabletextiles @gosh-diddley-darnit @ohjules @short-potato @anie6142

@valdomarx I know you don’t read Modern AUs but this one has a wyvern, a rusalka and Geralt is still a witcher. Also, I love you. That’s my argument.

#geraskier #geraskier fanfic #geraskier fanfiction #geraskier fandom #geralt of rivia #geralt z rivii #Geralt #geralt x dandelion #the witcher #geralt x julian #Geralt x Jaskier #Jaskier #jaskier loves geralt #geralt loves jaskier #the witcher fanfic #the witcher fanfiction #the witcher fandom #the witcher and the bard #witcher modern au

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pvrestwolff · 5 years

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—- are you ready for another bad poem? one more off key anthem? let your teeth sink in; remember me as i was, not as i am.

trident’s task 003; playlists.

playlist 01. // about ekaterina.

01. girl // the beatles ---- she's the kind of girl who puts you down when friends are there, you feel a fool. when you say she's looking good, she acts as if it's understood; she's cool.

02. everybody wants to rule the world // tears for fears ---- help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure, nothing ever lasts forever; everybody wants to rule the world.

03. what’s wrong // pvris ---- oh, it's all getting old; no, i didn't want this throne. only fools make feasts of gold, they rot the fruit on tables.

04. all that’s known // spring awakening cast ---- on i go, to wonder and to learning; name the stars and know their dark returning. i'm calling to know the world's true yearning; the hunger that a child feels for everything they're shown.

05. the schuyler sisters // hamilton cast ---- i’ve been reading common sense by thomas paine, so men say that i’m intense or i’m insane. you want a revolution? i want a revelation, so listen to my declaration: “we hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.”. and when i meet thomas jefferson-- i’m ‘a compel him to include women in the sequel!

06. rhiannon // fleetwood mac ---- she is like a cat in the dark, and then she is the darkness. she rules her life like a fine skylark and when the sky is starless; all your life you've never seen a woman taken by the wind. would you stay if she promised you heaven? will you ever win?

07. ship to wreck // florence + the machine ---- ah, my love remind me, what was it that i said? i can't help but pull the earth around me to make my bed. and, ah, my love remind me, what was it that i did? did i drink too much? am i losing touch? did i build a ship to wreck?

08. elastic heart // sia ---- i wanted it, i wanted it bad, but there were so many red flags. now another one bites the dust; yeah, let's be clear, i'll trust no one.

09. devil in me // halsey ---- you said i'm too much to handle; you said i shine too bright, i burnt the candle; flew too high. i won't take anyone down if i crawl tonight, but i still let everyone down when i change in size. and i went tumbling down tryna reach your high, but i scream too loud if i speak my mind.

10. are you satisfied? // marina ---- high achiever, don't you see? baby, nothing comes for free. they say i'm a control freak, driven by a greed to succeed. nobody can stop me-- 'cause it's my problem if i wanna pack up and run away, it's my business if i feel the need to smoke and drink and swear; it's my problem, it's my problem if i feel the need to hide, and it's my problem if i have no friends and feel i want to die.

11. disco tits // tove lo ---- you think i'm drunk now, but i am not-- you're so pretty, come roll with me. i'm 'bout to get down, i'm high as fuck; i'm no chemist, but it's good shit.

12. greedy // ariana grande ---- i don't need a phone call, got nothing to say. i'm ‘a tell you when it's over, got no games to play. you know that i'm coming tonight, i know i'm coming tonight; i just need to get this out the way.

13. wreak havoc // skylar grey ---- i don’t give a fuck when i walk into battle and that’s why i got all the power; i’m where you wanna be, ain’t no one ahead of me; all of my enemies made a decision it's better to follow me. i make no apologies; all of my sins i would repeat and i repeat, cause i'm ‘a be me 'til the death of me.

14. the weight of living part i // bastille ---- there's an albatross around your neck; all the things you've said and the things you've done. can you carry it with no regrets? can you stand the person you've become?

15. die wild // dia frampton ---- if there is no heaven, fuck it, you can sleep with me tonight. we can all just be tragic or lucky beneath the faded stars. i don't wanna get better, i wanna burn like the fourth of july; a little bit of god to fill me up, a little bit of spit in my eye.

playlist 02. // ekaterina’s favourites.

01. just a girl // no doubt ---- oh, i'm just a girl, guess i'm some kind of freak, 'cause they all sit and stare with their eyes. oh, i'm just a girl, take a good look at me: just your typical prototype; oh, i've had it up to here!

02. dreams // gabrielle aplin, bastille ---- now here i go again, i see the crystal vision; i keep my visions to myself. it's only me who wants to wrap around your dreams-- have you any dreams you'd like to sell?

03. let go // frou frou ---- drink up baby doll, mm, are you in or out? leave your things behind, ‘cause it's all going off without you.

04. dream a little dream of me // the mamas and the papas ---- stars shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper "i love you."; birds singin' in the sycamore tree, dream a little dream of me.

05. you don’t own me // grace, g-eazy ---- you don't own me, don't try to change me in any way. you don't own me, don't tie me down 'cause i'd never stay.

06. celebrity skin // hole ---- when i wake up in my makeup, have you ever felt so used up as this? it's all so sugarless; hooker, waitress, model, actress-- oh, just go nameless.

07. i put a spell on you // annie lennox ---- you know i love you; i love you, i love you, i love you anyhow-- and i don't care if you don't want me, i'm yours right now.

08. the sweet escape // gwen stefani ---- you melt me down, i'm at my lowest boiling point, come help me out, i need to get me out of this joint; come on, let's bounce, counting on you to turn me around; instead of clowning around, let's look for some common ground.

09. hard out here // lily allen ---- sometimes it's hard to find the words to say-- i'll go ahead and say them anyway: forget your balls and grow a pair of tits.

10. body say // demi lovato ---- if i had it my way, i would take the lead. and if i had it my way, i would take you deep. if my body had a say, i'd get it off my chest-- show you all the red lace underneath this dress

11. twist of fate // olivia newton-john ---- a higher voice has called the tune, two hearts that lost the beat will now resume; the gift of life extension by divine intervention; it's gotta be a strange twist of fate, telling me that heaven can wait-- telling me to get it right this time. life doesn't mean a thing, without the love you bring; love is what we've found, the second time around.

12. god is a woman // ariana grande ---- i can be all the things you told me not to be; when you try to come for me, i keep on flourishing; and he see the universe when i'm the company-- it's all in me.

13. never enough // loren allred ---- all the shine of a thousand spotlights, all the stars we steal from the night sky will never be enough; never be enough. towers of gold are still too little, these hands could hold the world but it'll never be enough.

14. how ‘bout a dance // bonnie and clyde cast ---- let's make a start, music like this can really throw ya. you'll lose the blues and you may lose your heart.

15. la vie en rose // édith piaf ---- il est entré dans mon coeur; une part de bonheur dont je connais la cause. (he has entered into my heart; a bit of happiness that i know the cause of.)

#task003 #//** this is like a fraction of what ekaterina's playlist is but here's thirty songs for her recent thirtieth birthday #♛ [ ** 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 ⁎⁎ ] PRINCESS EKATERINA #trident;task #☾ [ ** 𝘢 𝘱𝘶𝘻𝘻𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘵𝘺 ⁎⁎ ] TASKS #♛ [ ** 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘦 ⁎⁎ ] MUSIC

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