#look me in the eye and tell me jiang cheng would not be part jock

[giraffeter]

Characters in The Untamed, Ranked by the Extent to Which They Are “This Fucking Guy”

Sect Leader Yao: The ultimate This Fucking Guy. Chock full of opinions and all of them are bad. Couldn’t mind his own business if his own business was on fire. Also robs my terrible son Ouyang Zizhen of his rightful title of Worst Wig, which is rude and unnecessary. 10/10.

Su She: This Fucking Guy to such an extent that nobody knows his real name. I was shocked, upon rewatch, to learn that the other guy LWJ saves from the Waterborne Abyss and the guy who gives them up to the Wens were the same guy, and that guy was Su She. Only possible response to him is “who?” followed closely by “oh, THIS fucking guy.” So upset by his TFG status he does a bunch of murders about it. 10/10.

Wen Chao/Wen Ruohan/Wen Xu (tie): Could be chill about being villains but instead they’re all “bluh, bluh” about it like they’re a bunch of fucking Draculas. Nobody likes a try-hard, guys. 10/10.

Jin Guangshan: Can’t keep it in his pants; only person to achieve the title of This Fucking Guy literally as well as figuratively.  10/10.

Xue Yang: Look, he’s my emotional support sociopath too, and it’s very sexy of him, but imagine trying to have a conversation with him.  Such an edgelord he’ll stab a potato at you. People are constantly rolling their eyes as soon as his back is turned. 9/10.

Jin Zixun: Ugh. 9/10.

Lan Wangji: Listen, I love him, he is my favorite character, but you must admit that Lan Wangji is not exactly easy to get along with, and has no compunctions about being actively unpleasant to you if he doesn’t like you. I imagine meeting with him as Chief Cultivator being super stressful, even though he’s generally a pretty fair person, because the risk of being obliterated by a look of Icy Disdain is high. Su She is already launching a 20-minute rant about how he should be higher on this list. 7/10.

Wei Wuxian: I know. I KNOW. But my darling boy is a LOT. You can’t tell me the Lan disciples weren’t going “This Fucking Guy” during his class clownery. He and LWJ are constantly doing horny wrist grabs and staring at each other for a full minute of time, right in front of everyone’s salad. In the scene where the angry mob confronts him, they might as well be chanting “This! Fucking! Guy! This! Fucking! Guy!” Most of this is not his fault but he’d be exhausting to be around. Then again, so am I. 7/10.

Nie Huaisang: Nie Huaisang WANTS to be This Fucking Guy. Nie Huaisang is ACTIVELY TRYING to be This Fucking Guy. Nie Huaisang is angry he’s not higher up on this list but he’s just too Babie for me to give him more than a 7/10.

Jin Guangyao: “What?” you say. “How dare! Villainry!” But this is not a list of Who is a Bad Person, it’s a list of Who is This Fucking Guy, and JGY has spent too much of his life in positions where he can’t be This Fucking Guy indiscriminately. His dad and Nie Mingjue both think he’s TFG for their own reasons, but to people in general? Customer Service Smile all the way, baybee. Points off for all the murdering, though. 6/10.

Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan (tie): Happy to swoop in for some dramatic swashbuckling, completely uninterested in doing any of the ensuing administrative work. Like those people who only want to work on the fun part of the group project and then make the rest of the group do the rest. Would never say it, but deffo think they’re better than you. 6/10.

Jiang Cheng: Unless you are a demonic cultivator he’s torturing to death for complicated emotional reasons or his estranged brother-in-law, Jiang Cheng keeps his TFG tendencies more or less in check. 6/10 mostly for his behavior toward Lan Wangji specifically.

Lan Qiren: The actual literal Fun Police. Only reason he’s not higher on this list is because he never goes anywhere so most people aren’t exposed to his TFG-ness. 5/10.

Jin Zixuan: The flashback portion of The Untamed is, in a sense, the story of Jin Zixuan’s journey from This Fucking Guy to Wife Guy (and then Dead Guy 😬) Averaging out to a 5/10.

Nie Mingjue: We all know how I feel about da-ge, but man does Nie Mingjue think he’s right about everything. He’s willing to listen to arguments to the contrary and change his opinion based on new information, which is cool and better than a lot of people, but he really thinks he’s got it all figured out and has spent pretty much 0 time unpacking that. 5/10.

Lan Xichen: He’s like that guy in high school who’s like super hot and a big jock and smart and student body president and you can’t even hate him because he’s also really nice?? And somehow all that combines to make him, just a little bit, This Fucking Guy. 4/10.

Wen Ning: A baby. A precious baby. However, I am almost positive that his cousins referred to him as This Fucking Guy on occasion in between being Draculas. 2/10.

The Juniors: I don’t think it’s fair to rate the juniors on their This Fucking Guy-ness, because all teens inherently have a soupçon of TFG — it’s natural. N/A, with the exception of:

Lan Sizhui: Best boy. Number one best boy. -1000000/10.

Previously: Sect Leaders by How Likely Their Disciples Are to Accidentally Call them “Dad.”

#the untamed #all of my opinions are empirically correct and legally binding #this fucking guy #wei wuxian #lan wangji #su she #sect leader yao #xue yang #nie huaisang #jin guangyao