#lud unpacking his trauma

[emmywemmyyyy]

new jlud posted to ao3 @ wealllose ‼️

#it is very heavy #lud unpacking his trauma #i wrote it in one sitting #i hope its not super ass

[ludinusdaleth]

i agree! it's very frustrating that so many people insist it's "ludinus is right, kill them all!" versus "they're all 100% good"

im glad to hear the support, anon. i feel like the cr fanbase has gotten more into theorizing & meta this campaign than last, which im deeply happy about, but i feel like it's come at a cost of not many actually.... analyzing well, beyond their own biases, which is vital.

something interesting to me is how i feel like the very story of c3 itself is partly about how vasselheim is so utterly focused on ludinus as a threat (which, he is undoubtedly one) that they have repeatedly enforced worse & failed in their efforts against him (literally occupying & preparing to obliterate marquet via airship just to get to him and getting eviscerated, kiro's rage about ludinus making her accuse orym of being with him which leads to our current mess). continually vasselheim refuses to assist or care for any other country or party that isnt wholly aligned to their goal. meanwhile in similar nature, the fandom is so completely sure that lud is a liar & a loser that anyone with an idealogy a few degrees south of his is seen as a threat instantly - the fanbase is so mad that this campaign is "anti god" that they're missing the most poignant pro faith statements characters have because they aren't paladins in shining armor plunging a spear into da'leth praising bahamut as they do so - but rather common-people as they try to embrace faith despite trauma & actual godkilling times. and it's at times frankly deeply uncomfortable, considering the characters deemed threats & whose views on faith have been cast aside have been deanna & frida (who have absolutely been treated weirdly to points of racism to their actors), & pagan natives oppressed by what matt outright stated were missionaries.

but in the same uncomfortability zone are people so consumed by their own personal biases with very obvious culturally christian religious trauma (i say this as someone with it too) that they cannot realize ludinus is partially metaphor for everyone who escapes christianity, thinks they're superior for it, but never for a moment unpacks the colonialist doomsday mindset that came with it. i admit i see this far less than the other side, so i dont see it as so much of a concern, but when i do it is unsettling - ludinus is so clearly showcasing far right tactics of alienation & preying on trauma to get people to join his cult, and real people are falling for it. matt has said that religion & art are connected & vital - when aeor fully stepped away from religion it became almost artless. you cannot strip something so important to humanity's core away because of your own experiences - your personal trauma is important but does not mean your bigotry or bias is justified and i feel that message is radiant in c3.

i think this campaign poses some of the most interesting questions on forgiveness & responsibility because, while it's impossible not to draw similarities in how mortals deal with religion, the exandrian pantheon itself cannot be viewed through our world's lens. the gods were warlords who nuked an entire city (that was fighting amongst itself!) to nothing because a few mages posed a threat to them. but afterwards they receded, & locked themselves away. what does that say about them? what does it mean now? do they deserve to be saved? does art surpass its creators? i want to explore these themes so much, and i love that campaign 3 is trying to in vibrant ways - i just hate that so few people want to embrace it & the changes to the fictional world that will come with it, because it's impossible to look past our own noses & embrace more than our own perspective even regarding fiction.

#sorry this is so long #long post #van speaks #critical role meta #campaign 3 #critical role #please no one be weird on this post #asks