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#me and the website for people who butterfly watch became besties for this au
warmau · 3 years
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☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au renjun happy super super super late birthday renjun! find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei | doyoung | jaehyun | jungwoo | ten | jisung
"i don't even like bugs."
jaemin shrugs as he shows his intern pass to the security of the front gates of the botanical garden
he mentions that you're accompanying him today as a visitor and you smile at the guard who pays you two half a gaze
"well i mean - they're butterflies not like cockroaches or anything so have some optimism?"
you don't argue, among your group of friends jaemin is kind of the symbol of optimism. sometimes it's misguided - like now - but you don't want to put a damper on his mood
after all, he's actually here to do a job
you are here on a summer assignment you have to complete for a photography elective you added to your uni program for the next semester
"nature photography" was the highlight of the project, everyone had been emailed a subject to take pictures of while off from school
you had expected maybe the beach, or flowers, or even tourists walking around in floppy hats
when you'd opened the professor's email and saw "butterflies" you had not been thrilled
but you were lucky enough to know that jaemin had scored his current internship at the botanical gardens, and while he was working with his weirdly favorite thing in the world - fungi
he could also get you access to the butterfly garden, a large indoor space for the various breeds of butterflies from around the world, before it officially opened to the public
"the pavilion is over there, i think renjun will be able to let you in."
jaemin says, pointing down a hill lined by pretty bushes that leads to a glass structure at the bottom
you turn to ask if he wants to meet for lunch, but he's already jogging in the opposite direction
you sigh, fishing your camera out of your bag - which is something you've borrowed from your parents because 'iphone photos are not allowed'
they're just butterflies like jaemin said, they're like...cute bugs.
you tell yourself as you get closer, turning the camera on and then coming to a pause in front of the glass doors that have a clear padlock on them
you loop around and try to find 'renjun' - but no one is in sight
secretly a little relieved that you don't have to go inside right away, you try to find a part of the glass structure where you can possibly get a nice shot of some of the butterflies from outside
a lot of the vines and flowers get in the way, so you struggle until finally, you find a spot that's open and peers right into the middle of the enclosed garden
you can see the butterflies, little splashes of colors that fly past you - magnificent oranges, reds, and blues
you admit they're pretty
but they're even prettier because they're not near you
and then something - no someone - comes into your frame
his narrow shoulders are engulfed by an oversized plaid shirt, sleeves rolled up by the elbows.
over the shirt is a gardening apron and on his hands are a pair of worn-out gloves
his profile is hidden by the dark hair that falls in a curtain and ends in a tickle at his jawline.
one, bright streak of bleach blonde runs through the black.
he reaches out to touch a half-bloomed flower and you watch as the butterflies float on by him
you nearly drop the camera when he turns and locks his gaze with your own
is that renjun? if so im going to kill jaemin! he didn't tell me he was so infuriatingly pretty!
without knowing how to talk to him through the glass, and because the words disintegrate in your mouth, you point to the camera
"jaemin's friend?"
oh, you can hear through the glass
"ye-yeah!"
"one second."
the sound of a click and some scuttling turns your attention toward where the door to the garden opens for a swift second, just enough for renjun to step through, before it closes again
probably to make sure none of the butterflies get out
you grip your camera and when renjun doesn't move, you make the small trip over to him
"jaemin said you're here for a project."
renjun speaks and his voice is softer when it isn't muffled through glass
"for my photography class in the fall, my subject is butterflies."
"what kind?"
your eyes get a little wider with confusion
"what kind?" you parrot
renjun's neutral expression doesn't change
"what kind of butterflies? there are over seventeen thousand species of butterflies - we might not have the species you are looking for."
"i-" you stammer, wondering for a split second if renjun is joking around, "there isn't a specific species it's just....all of them?"
renjun tilts his head as if that notion doesn't really make sense to him, but shrugs and turns toward the door again
"im going to open it quickly so just follow me."
you make a sound of agreement, but when renjun pulls the handle and steps inside.....and you can't move.
the door closes behind him with a sound that makes you jump and renjun turns to stare at you through the glass with a furrowed brow
"what are you doing?"
he doesn't bother opening the door again and you shake your head as a shiver runs through your shoulders
"a-actually is it ok if i stay out here?"
"i thought you needed to take photos?"
"i can take them from here - this lens is r-really good."
renjun doesn't seem to be buying your excuse, but he checks his watch and nods, before disappearing back into the middle of the indoor garden
you take a second to try and figure out what happened - am i scared of going inside? is it the butterflies or is it renjun?
you decide it's the butterflies.
renjun's just a boy - you aren't scared of that, but the thought of being somewhere covered with bugs
pretty bugs or not
is kind of ..... scary.
you pick your camera back up and circle back to your original spot
although renjun is nowhere in the focus, you are delighted to see some butterflies have come to nestle among the plants in view
you bring up the camera and take some shots
one butterfly is sitting directly on the leaves - big grayish, blue wings spread open and engulfed in the sunlight that shines through the glass
you zoom in on it, capturing the full expanse of the wings that stand out on the green
you get so invested you hardly notice the door open up again and then a voice speaks from behind your shoulder
"it's a pseudozizeeria maha."
you don't turn around and just stare at the butterfly still
"a wha- what?"
"a pale grass blue. they're native to south asia but are really common here too. they were first discovered by vincenz kollar, an austrian entomologist."
the sentence nearly makes you dizzy, but you thank renjun for the information
not seeing the small shy smile that casts over his lips when you do
you want to turn and show him the shot you took, but he's already stepping past you to the other side of the pavilion
the time sort of slips away from you before you can check it again and you only leave when jaemin comes jogging down from the greenery to whisk you off for lunch
"should we invite ren-"
you start, but jaemin is already twinkling eyes and nonstop talking about all the fun fungi he's spent his day with.
when you're back home you start to look through the photos you took
most of them aren't super great and the shine of the sun reflects on the glass
you know the only way you're going to get a perfect shot (or at least an acceptable one for this dumb summer project) is if you go inside the actual butterfly garden
sighing, you click to the last shot and are surprised to see that in the far left corner you see renjun's hand - gloved and in the palm of it is a small butterfly that has landed just in time for your shutter to go off
the rest of renjun is out of focus so you can't even see his, very pretty, face
isn't it weird, that he can be around them so easily and im so scared?
you zoom in a bit and wonder how nice it would have been to get a clear photo of the moment. that would be something you could definitely submit to your professor.
before any more thoughts of renjun can float through your mind, your phone pings and you look to see jaemin's contact name
did you get your shot? you can come with me on my next shift if you want to take more photos
you type back a reply before you can even think of it in your head
really? then I'll tag along :) want to take some more photos
jaemin confirms and then sends another paragraph talking about mushrooms and leaves and plants
and you giggle because he's funny and passionate, and also
guess i might see renjun again?
it's hotter than you can put into words the next time you show up at the butterfly garden
you're standing outside in the absolute sweltering heat and maybe the thought of possible colder temperatures inside the pavilion are tempting
plus - renjun is in there - he had waved at you when he saw you standing outside again
this time his apron thrown over a short sleeve shirt and some long jeans
he had motioned toward the door but you had just played off that you were ok outside. burning alive or whatever.
you found the same spot as before, wiping the sweat from your forehead before lifting the camera up in hopes of catching a good picture
but all you see through the lens was renjun, who'd taken the time to roll up the sleeves of his shirt and had seemingly abandoned the heavy apron somewhere inside
his longer hair had been clipped back and he was reaching down to heave a bag of soil up and over his shoulder
oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.
you are caught between taking a photo and just aiming your lens somewhere else out of embarrassment
either way, renjun doesn't seem to notice and continues working, saving you from the horror that would be seeing him turn and stare back at you
but this somehow goes on for the entire time you're there
you go to snap a photo, but renjun is somewhere in the frame
it must just be bad luck and timing
but by the time you're sitting at the garden's cafe with jaemin after his shift and you're going through your photos
all of them have renjun in them somehow
"woah i thought your project was butterflies not huang renjun's?"
jaemin jokes, sipping his iced coffee with an overly excited wiggle of his eyebrows
"shuttup - i just....it's because i am taking them from the outside, i need to figure out a way to get inside and just take the photo and be done with it!"
jaemin outstretches his hand
"gimmie your camera, ill go take one"
you snatch the camera off the table and vehemently shake your head
"no. the last time i trusted you with something expensive, you broke it in the first five minutes."
"hey! i thought ipads were waterproof nowadays like technology really hasn't come that far?"
you roll your eyes in response, to which jaemin sticks out his tongue and then claps his hands together in revelation
"why not ask renjun to take the photo?"
"because i don't know him that we-"
with a dismissive wave of his hand jaemin cuts you off
"he's not a stranger - i know him! if i know him, you know him. plus renjun is super careful and responsible - he's my age and ive already heard some of the directors talking about how they'd hire him as more than an intern if he wasn't still in university!"
wow, i mean i always got the impression he was mature, but...
"c'mon, i bet he'll say yes too! he's really nice!"
finally agreeing and promising jaemin you'll ask renjun when you come back to the garden again
you pretend the nervous feeling in your stomach is just because you don't know renjun that well
not because you also happen to think he's breathtaking to look at - and that it's going to be hell trying to explain to someone who knows so much about insects that you're too scared to go inside and take a measly little photo of them
you find yourself at home, with your laptop open, googling species of butterflies because you think you should at least pick one and ask renjun if he can possibly take a photo of that one
maybe your effort will make the conversation easier
maybe he'll like that i know the latin name for a - what was it? gonepteryx cleopatra?
of course, the next time jaemin brings you along - and abandons you with a thumbs up for his mushrooms and fungi - you are frozen still at the entrance of the butterfly garden
like a broken machine - you just re-read the sign over and over again - announcing that the garden will be finally open to the public in a week
and you nearly short circuit when someone clears their throat behind you
turning around, it's of course renjun, and he's giving you a weird look that is already making this whole situation bad
"h-hey renjun-"
"do you want to go inside with me today?"
you swallow and think you should really just suck it up and go inside. the butterflies aren't going to sting, bite, or eat you - but
"a-actually i wanted to ask you does the garden have any.....any um....gonep- um whats the word gonepetry? gonepetri? um-"
without a beat renjun finishes the sentence for you
"gonepteryx cleopatra's? no, those butterflies favor the mediterranean so getting them here is hard."
"right...well actually i was wondering"
renjun blinks
"oh and you can call them cleopatra's if you want. but unfortunately no, i don't have any in the garden."
god ok, how do i pivot this conversation...
"oh that's cute, um actually i also have a question-"
he waits expectingly and for some odd reason as the second's tick by he gets cuter and you get quieter and it is just a huge mess
and you think you should just book it and let renjun think you're a weirdo
when you finally lift up your camera and take a breath
"do you think you could take the photo of a butterfly for me?"
his brown eyes widen
"oh - like the photo for your project?"
"y-yeah. it's just......im really scared to go in there...bugs are not my thing. i know it's pathetic and they're just butterflies but-"
you look down and the sun and renjun's gaze are getting too heavy to handle
"but i just don't know if i can even focus when there are so many flying around....does that make sense?"
the beat of silence that follows is almost miserable but renjun just points behind him and says
"follow me."
the next thing you know you are trying to keep up with him as he walks past the butterfly garden and down a path hugged by greenery
it's way past where you've ever been and you ask renjun where he's going
only for him to insist you hurry up a little bit
before you know it you are both standing in front of a large, open iron gate, and behind it are rows and rows and rows of rose bushes
they range in color and size and the smell that permeates the air is so lovely you suddenly feel like you're in a fairytale
renjun leans closely to inspect a couple and then stops in front of a bush adorned in the brightest pink roses you must have ever seen in your life
"butterflies are attracted to roses, the colors are vibrant and they pollinate them."
"b-butterflies pollinate? like bees?"
renjun laughs, the sound adds to the almost dreamy vibe - with the way it sounds like the lightest piano keys
"yes and look - i can understand that you'd be scared of being inside a place full of butterflies, but here in the rose garden there are only a couple here and there."
he squats down and cups the petals of a flower with such a gentleness
you follow and are surprised to see a butterfly, with bright blue wings, nestled in the center of the rose
renjun flicks his eyes to your camera bag and you immediately understand why he's brought you here
without making too much noise you get your camera out and steady the lens - just one butterfly does not intimidate you like being in a glass, enclosed pavillion full of hundreds
so you can take the photo easily - though just as you click the shutter makes a noise and the butterfly takes off
you pout and look up to see if renjun is startled by the sudden escape of the focus of your photograph
when you gasp and see that another butterfly, this one a bright orange has settled on the tip of renjun's nose
without missing the moment - you raise the camera
and snap another photo, not taking the time to adjust the zoom or anything
just wanting to capture the little miracle
the butterfly seems to recognize renjun's pretty face is not a flower, not that you fault the butterfly for thinking that it was
as it flaps its wings and goes in search of another rose
you brighten up when you look at the preview on your camera
no blur or sun glare! it's a perfect shot!
and you lean close to renjun to show him and he leans in too
and the centimeter distance only dawns on the two of you when you look up and renjun has already turned his attention on you two
a heat spreads up your face, as it does renjun's and you both pull back from the scalding feeling
"i-"
"sorry-"
shooting back up to your feet you kind of wobble in this moment of awkwardness and then renjun asks
"will you use that photo for your project?"
"oh - if you don't want me to i won't, i think i can use the other-"
"you can use it."
he rubs his arm and then locks his gaze back on you
"but does this mean you won't come back to the gardens anymore?"
i guess since my project is done, he's right. i don't have any excuse to come and bother him by loitering around anymore.
you pull your bottom lip between your teeth and give a little shrug
"probably, jaemin's internship ends soon too so-"
"then would you be ok with seeing me- well-"
renjun flusters
which is somehow a shocking different from his usual blank expression of utter handsomeness. the stark difference is loveable and you almost have to stop yourself from falling over.
"well what i mean is would you want to maybe see me - outside of the garden.....like not here but somewhere else?"
"to hangout?"
you grip your camera and renjun half nods, but then you can see he's trying to think of the right word
"yes to hangout and like....but different, like a different kind of hangout."
confusion settles on your face and you are about to ask what he means exactly when someone burst between you two
"there you two are! sorry, was i interrupting renjun asking you on a date?"
jaemin's voice manages to echo even though you're all outside
and you push him playfully as renjun rids himself of jaemin's body weight and huffs
"aren't you supposed to be looking at toadstools are something jaemin?"
"first of all, toadstools are unscientific and not the correct term for a class of mushrooms. so mind your manners, and second - why would i want to miss the exciting moment where you too finally agree to go out!"
you catch renjun's gaze and it's as big and as wide as yours
"w-was that what you were asking, if i would go on a date with you?"
the words shock you ask they spill from your mouth
renjun nods, slowly, and then casts a look at jaemin
"yes. before this one interrupted."
jaemin looks between you two as if he is guilty of nothing
for a second you forget about him and then nod back
"y-yes id love to!"
renjun's face softens and he's about to ask for your number when jaemin claps his hands and the sound probably rattles the earth underneath you three
"amazing! this is truly a moment to remember!"
you and renjun both lurch at him and he laughs as you two tell him to go back to his mushrooms
and yet somehow, you three are all smiles when the day comes to an end because you and renjun have set up a date and jaemin is taking most of the credit for it
that summer, after you send the photo of the butterfly nestled perfectly on the tip of renjun's nose to your professor, is one that stays with you forever
you spend most of it with renjun, whenever he isn't busy with his butterflies, learning more and more about him
the little things like he doesn't like cilantro, he frequently doodles and draws in his free time, and he breaks everything he does down into a meticulous step by step process
you watch in fascination as he organizes his side dishes by the order he eats them, tabs the important dates in his planner, and pins your candid photos in a perfectly straight line above his desk
you know some of his friends call him a stickler, but it's really just another thing you grow to like about him
after all - your birthday gets a special, green tab in his planner. green means extra, extra, extra important
as for the butterfly garden .... you try a couple of times to go in. each time, renjun lists off a million reasons why butterflies are great and docile and not dangerous or scary
but every time you kind of apologize and say you can't do it - which renjun doesn't hark on you for
he just takes your hand and kisses the back of it, asks if you want to go visit jaemin or see the roses again
and as much as you love your friend, there's been too many instances of renjun leaning in to tuck your hair from your face and kiss you, all while jaemin pops up between you two like he's at the movies
and you two have to turn around and shoo him off as he insists he just wants to bear witness to the romance of the century
you and renjun sprawl across his bed, looking up at the ceiling as he finds comfort in counting the stripes on your shirt in silence and you mumble about how the summer is almost over and you won't be able to just be lazy like this with him anymore
the days of doing absolutely nothing
renjun props himself on his elbow and looks at you seriously
"spending time with someone you love isn't doing nothing. it's the act of growing closer."
you almost blurt out that that's the most romantic thing you've ever heard and you are going to cry
but instead, circle your hands around his neck and flip him over to be under you
poor renjun tells his directors he got bit by a species from the culicidae family (mosquito) to try and hide the blotch on his collarbone
and while the directors are impressed with renjun's knowledge of insects, jaemin just gives him the good old finger guns of 'yeah. sure'.
your photograph gets great marks from your professor, who replies to the image with praise about the lightening and angle
and the way you managed to capture both your boyfriend and the butterfly
you read the email to renjun over the phone and can almost hear the blush on him when you say boyfriend
you wonder if the future is going to be as sweet as this summer, can someone like you who is so terrified of the creatures renjun has structured his whole life around, really be the right choice for him
and when you ask renjun this, on the day before your classes officially start in the fall
he says that you don't have to be just like him for him to love you
it's the fact that you're so very you that he feels stronger about this relationship than he has about any other
and who cares that you don't like bugs. it just means that if you live together in the future he can be the one to get the spider under the cup and let it free while you lock yourself in the bathroom out of fear
you giggle at this, your heart beating against your ribs at the thought of a future so domestic with the boy smiling down at you
and the best thing is that future comes to fruition
when a decade later you're waiting for renjun outside of the botanical garden, where he strolls out with his co-worker jaemin whose holding a funny looking pot of yellow-topped mushrooms
"date night for the newlyweds?"
he wiggles his eyebrows the same way he did when you two were in college
you shoo him off with the hand that has your wedding ring on it and you tuck your hand through renjun's
"date night for you and some fungi, jaemin?"
he makes a face at your comment and bounds off in the direction of his car
you look up at renjun who chuckles to himself and pecks your lips in a greeting
"how are the butterflies this year?"
you ask as you two turn to walk down the street
"beautiful - do you think this might be the year you finally visit the garden?"
you scrunch up your nose and mumble that maybe, you'll have to see if after ten years your fear really hasn't gotten any better
he smiles and says you can take your time - ten, twenty, thirty
he'll be by your side when you decide it is time
you stop to look at him - seeing for a moment the flash of the boy with the butterfly on his nose - and smile
"and ill be by your side for anything and everyhing too."
he picks your hand up with his own - your matching rings gleam in the setting sun
"i know, that's why i married you."
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