#mean that theyre basically as unreachable as the dead are to me

[cozycorewitch]

constantly torn between saying fuck it and posting my personal feelings and thoughts on tumblr dot com again because it sometimes helped me to feel better about shit and never letting anyone know I have feelings ever again lmao

#ive lost so many people in my life over the last couple years #like they died #they didnt just leave #and it makes it especially difficult to have somebody that is no longer in my life #but is very much alive and out there in the world #who i miss very much and still care a lot about #and just...not be able to do anything about it #there are so many people who i miss with my whole heart who are forever out of my reach #because they passed away #and then theres another whos alive but the circumstances of our lives and the complications in our relationship #mean that theyre basically as unreachable as the dead are to me #idk grieving the loss of the living is its own kind of pain i guess #and its so much harder to accept and come to terms with #because theyre here. they arent unreachable. but they are #anyways tag rambling over #goodnight #p #hiding the shit that i wanted to say in a post here in the tags instead lmao #probably gonna delete this later #always delete shit like this

[insert-neologism]

sugar water by flower face - notes

pov jackie is blue, pov shauna is red

My boy plays a game with my heart on the flatline

idk what to say to that other than 'yeah'

He likes to keep me halfway out

out of her life (doesnt tell jackie abt the stuff she writes abt in her journal) and physically kicking her out of the cabin

You know girls like me we’ve got a slow pulse

lol

Hit the trip switch baby I’m all right

she obviously isnt.

My boy’s got a sharp twist no he’s wicked in the heart

theres rlly not all that symbolism here. references jackies 'coming back wrong' and implies how she like wants to turn shauna to cannibalism, to violence

Feeds me sugar water just to keep me alive

orginial note was 'eating her'. sugar water doesnt really do anything, doesnt nourish; just like the ear. though, in contrast to sugar water the ear makes the hunger be more present (makes shauna aware of it, maybe) (note: idk what sugar water is used for and idk the meaning of it in the song bc i didnt google it. but i interpret it as 'ill give you the bare minimum to keep you alive and sweeten it so u dont know or smht)(update i googled it and i was right at least i think so. sugar addicting etc) anyways yeah jackie feeds shauna herself to keep her alive

Saw him in my dreams again

bridge is like synonymous to dreams to me. probably bc its night i think ive said this before.

He’s wiping down the fingerprints

making evidence disappear; jackie disappears (was never there)

Press so hard I float up to the sky

'press so hard' -> pressure here more or less. floating bc 1 laura lee 2 ascension of the soul after death 3 she looks up and i rlly like that

Hanging round like a puppy til you let me in

just jackie looking at shauna basically. waiting for shauna to come outside n get her (let her in. by coming outside shed not only let her into the cabin but back into her life)

Coming home with a black eye begging for you

shed totally beat sb up for jackie. shes wants her, cant have her (tragedy ensues)

You like to treat me like a child, but that’s all right

the maybe i dont want to wear the red dress and uh yeah shauna does end up wearing it; its jackie telling her what to do and shauna eventually relenting (its not alr as we find out but. yk)

I kinda like it when you talk the way you do

she doess

It’s kind of tripping me up, babe I’ve got it bad for you

she does

Laying back sipping sugar water

(the hug)

I’m so weak for the things you do

yeah

Drop to the floor every time I hear your voice

theyre. laying on the ground

Seeing stars on the borderline

jackie is shaunas star<3 also shes rlly far away, unreachable (dead), different than what she really is (shauna-jackie is sharper than jackie-jackie. stars r not dots)

borderline captures like the flashing lights, loud music, what is real? vibe; jackie is not singular here, shes one of many many people that look like her (more or less). the reality (callie) overlaps with imagination (jackie) here.

Sinking through the floor

sorta fit if u see the water as floor yk

you can find the edit here

#mitos incredible life #long post #jackieshauna: The Shark In Your Water #jackieshauna: The Shark In Your Water - notes #one day im gonna like cosistenly tag n make a post abt it alr