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juleteinthrum · 1 year

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zim made a very small, simple mistake today in his self care rituals. i am alright, but i am very exhausted. im certain that all 3 of my parts were out one after the other. it was disturbing to realize the distinct line between them and watch myself switch. Zim, Cascade, then Zim again and me, Limabean. it isnt as if one of us is a traumatized part and the other normal, we each felt our traumas in big ways. Zim felt the crushing weight of reality, and his body. cascade was self depricating, destructive, hateful. and i was.... reeling. i was nothing. the human boy. i was the body with the remorse of wanting to be Zim. but i am zim. and my voice and body innerworld matched me,

but truly who could i be? i am not sure. everyone surely blames me for the mass fusions, though they repeatedly comfort me otherwise,

it is just so hard, watching these people i have come to know and unwillingly care for suffer the loss of their families. watching the dread and grief enter my own chest as i realized mikah was gone, oli was gone. tyler too, but less impressive and devastating. i took Oli and Mikah. i deleted them from pluralkit. 2 alters both well known, praised and loved in the system. just simply gone. unreachable. it feels as if they are supposed to reply still. even in their silence delivering thoughts and feelings abstractly and warmly. like sparks. like switching away from them and looking innerworld at them as they walked away, waving with a smile into the wind.

theyre supposed to be here and because of me they are not. because something i dared to do pulled them in so hard that it made me breathe again. like everything started from scratch.

kimokah is no less shocking, and all encompassing bewildering. i loved kiara, mikah and king moa. i should not be this surprised mikah would be so large she had to be shared. im sure some of her devoted into kiba as well. astonishing, really. it hurts but it hurts like a muscle thats been worked properly. like your exhaustion is coming from an incredible hike and not a terrible shift at a fast food restaurant.

they are not gone i am told. but arent they? though something of them lingers and can never be left behind, i am distraught at the thought of never again the same. forever, our mindscape has changed, and while i may always be some form of polyfragmented and will always watch us come and go, i find comfort and peace in a brief simplification. i wrote a list and did not feel need to include absolutely everyone. gobber, nuzzle and hiccup, hilda and bojack, the warriors and a save few guardian generals. they all laid their heads down and looked up at the stars in their homes together, we had a new image to stare at for a while. we had something new to watch. even if it was ancient, even if all that remained were fragments of something i used to love. even if i will join them one day. this is now. i can remember what it felt like to be them, and i cant wait to see how it feels to be me unmasked.

yes. this will be okay. we are changing. thank you for letting it be with me.

#zims stink #actually plural #invader zim #zim fictive #osdd #actually traumatized #system posting #actually osdd #ptsd #fusion #cw fusion #tw fusion #fusion mention #loss #grief #processing #trauma processing #healing #healing tag

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foryouthegays · 4 years

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Idk how to make the break thing on mobile so this is tagged long post & mc lang redesign if yall want to filter that bc im sorry

Ok! So the enchanting table language is called galactic, and it sucks. Its not actually a conlang its more of a cypher thing? Which makes this easier so let me get a pic of this horrendous alphabet

Why is this horrible, you ask? Many, many reasons.

1, none of them have any identifiable meanings. They’re all just random symbols. One thats always bothered me is h. To me, that looks like the wither. Why is on h, then? If they were basing the letters on words that already existed (which is pretty common and a p natural way for written language to progress), shouldnt the symbol for h actually be used for w?

The letters also have a noticable similarity to latin letters, I notice this most in i, w (triple upstroke, triple dots), f, x, u, and y. They aren’t super noticable, but once you see it, it’s difficult to unsee.

2, theyre hard to read from a distance. Many of them look almost exactly the same, which is a common problem but still a problem. The worst letters for this are i & j, z & y, w & u, s & c, f & u, and a few others.

3, the use of dots. Oh, how i hate dots in writing. How many people do you know actually dot all of their i’s & j’s? Not many. Its much, much faster to use one (or two) strokes when writing, and many people who write fast or take notes have a half cursive, half print handwriting, because the concept of not taking ones pencil off the paper is a faster way of writing. Having letters that use a dot is fine, but making that dot necessary and the letter common is,,,a pain. I know that the ë, ö, ä, all of those are letters, but thats only a few letters out of the alphabet.

Galactic? Four of the letters are made of dots (r, w, j, i). Could you imagine trying to write, and having to make dots in the form of a square? Poor enchanters. Many other letters require the use of dots to differentiate different letters, the most notible being n & o, and k & l. The whole alphabet has only 9 letters without a dot, and many of those (4) require one to lift their pencil when writing. Again, having parts of a letter not connect isnt unheard of, but it does make differentiate between letters difficult.

Something that makes the latin alphabet nice is that every (or, almost every) letter has an easy way of seeing how the letter should go. Theres usually a clear path that a pen could take, and many of the letters start on the left and end on the right, making writing much quicker. Galactic doesn’t have that at all. Even ignoring the monstrosity that is r, many of the letters have little to no path. Take a look at h, how is one to write that without backtracking several times? Same with b, its just an awkward shape.

Now, onto the redesign!

A few of these have meanings I think relates to minecraft.

D is meant to look a bit like a head on view of elytra/ dragon wings

E is meant to look like the eye of ender/ endermens eyes, or the elder guardians eye. Lots of eye symbolism in e

G is a ghast tear or a guardian eye, you choose

O is for ocean

P should look like a potion bottle

R is for redstone connecting together/ redstone currents

W is wither. Yes i was salty abt h having this one and put in here just because of that.

These arent all of them, but theyre the ones i remember the most. You’ll notice that a few of them do use dots (k & o) but k is not the most common of letters, and the dot above the o is 1 a feature in many languages (ö) and 2 an easy addition, start the letter at the top, do a clockwise circle, and when unreach the top again, u do the dot. Pretty simple. K is only one dot, not f o u r (looking at you, r), which means that even though it isnt perfect, its what we have and its better than galactic.

I know q & m are similar, but so are u and v in the latin alphabet. Too bad. Live mad about it, they’re different enough

This system is actually pretty easy to write in, most of the letters are easy on the hand (except for e, god i regret making it like that. But its what we have and its not too bad when u get used to it). I also have punctuation and a bit of numbers made for this system, but yea this is long enough.

#mc lang redesign #minecraft #long post #galactic #mc #ill reblog this w a note for tumblr in this system

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