Lingering Souls
CW: Drugs (fear gas being referred to as a drug), Panic Attack (again it’s fear gas)
[Day 2 dpxdc week 2023; Danny Fenton // Full Hazmat AU // Fear Gas]
• MemeLords (Danny Fenton/Stephanie Brown) if you squint.
When the adrenaline hits, Stephanie prepares herself to face the visions of her failures, of people she cares about dying in her arms, or even visions of dying slowly somewhere cold and alone.
What she doesn’t expect is the odd warping of reality where all the shadows move. There’s people, so many people. Most of them have some sort of violent wound on them hanging open but not freshly bleeding. Her eyes can’t accurately judge distances any more as figures seem to loom closer or flick away with the barest hint of movement. There’s a glow from up on the roof ledge above her that attracts her attention even though moving her head makes her stomach turn.
There. Stretching in a blur of shadows and neon green glow, a figure moves. Suddenly all she can hear is heavy breathing filtered through a mask and the sound is so loud. She can’t hear her own breathing. Is she breathing? Panic rises further as she can’t hear her own breathing, feel her chest rise and fall and the breathing gets louder and louder, the figure hasn’t moved yet, watching Scarecrow monologue.
An ice cold hand grips her shoulder without warning but before she can scream, another is pressed against her mouth, silencing her. She can’t see them, but they’re so cold, like her hands that one time she got captured by Mr. Freeze.
“Shhhhh,” the raspy voice murmurs in her ear. “I need you to breathe with me.” Then she hears the exaggerated rattling breath through a filter that’s different from the overwhelming heavy breathing that’s still plaguing her ears.
They’re trying to get her to breathe. She really wasn’t breathing? That thought nearly sends her spiraling into panic all over and the heavy breathing picks up in speed once more.
“Hey, hey…” the raspy voice is soft, soothing even if it sounds like it must hurt its owner’s throat. “Close your eyes, I’ll put your hand on my shoulder so you can feel me breathe.”
She does it, she closes her eyes. She’s not usually one to listen to a stranger’s command but this is not a usual sort of situation. There’s the shifting of what sounds like rubber then her gloved hand is placed on Raspy Voice’s shoulder. She can feel them breathe and she finally drags in a shuddering breath to match their pace after a few moments of fumbling.
The strange breathing plaguing her matches her own shakily drawn breaths and slowly ever so slowly as her adrenaline plateaus, it dawns on her that the breathing matches hers because it is hers. The drugs are altering her sense of reality. She knows this.
She jolts as a crash and a human squawk cuts off Crane’s monologue. She almost opens her eyes, it’s habit. She needs to know what’s going on, but she knows she’ll lose her tenuous grip on her fear if she does.
“We’ve got him,” the voice reassures her. “Just breathe with me. I won’t leave you.”
And she believes them. Something about Cold Hand’s voice cuts through and draws away the drug induced fear. Which logically shouldn’t be possible but far be it from Stephanie to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Crane must have made this strain short acting. She can hear her heartbeat settling back into something resembling a normal pace. It helps that Cold Hands is murmuring reassurances and documenting what is going on so she can relax a little easier. Crane is caught. The material beneath her gloved fingers is odd. She can’t tell the details obviously but it doesn’t sit in her grip the way she’s used to.
“I’m gonna…let me take my hood off before you open your eyes,” Cold Hands says suddenly.
There’s a rustling and a hiss of air being released from closed circulation, more rustling and then a raspy “okay.”
It’s so quietly said that Stephanie almost doesn’t hear it. It still takes another few moments for her to gather the courage to open her eyes again.
She’s looking into a face spiderwebbed with glowing green lines. The lines reach up to their eyes which also glow in that same ominous color. She has to remind herself that it’s the same color as Kori’s eyes, panic is still easily bubbling up.
She notes the black and white hazmat suit, an odd color. Their companion also wears one in the same colors, their mask is still on but their back is turned as they keep watch over Crane and his goonies.
“I’m Phantom, he/him,” Cold Hands, Phantom says obviously trying to pull her attention back to him. She lets him.
“Spoiler, any.”
“Even Neos?” She’s pretty sure he’s only asking to keep her talking, to keep the conversation going.
“Especially Neo-pronouns.”
Phantom’s grin is infectious. She firmly ignores that thought.
“Who’s your twin over there?”
Phantom pauses at that and not the human sort of pause, his entire body goes absolutely still. Stephanie thinks his heart might have even stopped but she’d have to move to check his pulse. After what feels like an eternity (it’s probably not been that long but time gets wiggy when you’re high on mind altering drugs), his gaze flicks away and she knows he’s either debating on whether or not to lie or about what lie to tell.
When he looks back, he meets her gaze steadily (so probably not lying).
“It’s just me,” he says in that low rasp. The other one, the other Phantom turns to look at them even though he shouldn’t have been able to hear the first one’s voice. Maybe they’re connected?
“An illusion?” She asks it just to eliminate unlikely theories.
“No,” Cold Hands Phantom says, confirming her theory. “He’s completely separate from me until we merge back together.”
Well that’s…got to be confusing.
“It is,” he replied.
“Did I say that out loud?”
“Yeah, you’re still pretty out of it.”
“That checks out. Why hazmat? Seems cumbersome and not for fighting villains.” She knows it’s probably rude but figures the guy might cut her some slack since she’s drugged up at the moment. She’s not one to miss an advantage where she can get one.
For his part, Cold Hands Phantom doesn’t look offended. If anything he looks a little bemused and she wonders how many other thoughts she might have said out loud instead of in the privacy of her own mind. That could get embarrassing real fast. It’s better not to think about it for too long or she’ll lose her nerve.
“Do you believe in ghosts?”
The non sequitur throws her addled mind for a bit of a loop and then she has to think about it for a minute. Does she believe in ghosts? She certainly believes that some spirits linger after death and for people to return from the dead, their souls must have been somewhere.
“I believe that our souls can linger, yeah.”
He nods.
“I’m that; a lingering soul. I died in a hazmat suit so that’s what I’m stuck with. At least until I’m dead long enough to change it.”
“Is that why your hands are so flipping cold,” she bursts out.
He laughs. It’s a cracking horrid sounding laugh, but it’s genuine and filled with his amusement.
“Yeah,” he takes a breath to get the few lingering chuckles under control, “that’s part of the reason my hands are so cold.”
“Hmm…seems like it sucks.”
“Which part? The suit or the cold hands?”
“Both, but I was referring to the suit.”
“Sometimes it does but then again, I don’t have to deal with the stares or the patronizing adults nearly so often. The suit itself is just a part of me so it doesn’t get in my way.”
“You doing alright though?” She doesn’t know what makes her ask that. Possibly the drugs? She’s gonna blame the drugs. But even though she didn’t plan to say it, she finds that she really does mean it. Obviously he’s not gonna want sympathy or pity for his death. It’s something he has to deal with every day. But how many people ask him how he’s doing?
“I…” he fumbles. His face contorts, shifting the glowing lichtenburg figures into interesting shapes and contortions. His fingers come up to rake through his unruly white hair as he takes the time to truly think about her question.
“Some days are easier than others,” he finally settles on. “Being here, now? That’s good. I’m doing good.”
“Okay,” she says and sits back tipping her chin up as she closes her eyes. The nausea is getting worse, but also she doesn’t know what else to say or how to look Phantom in the eyes. So instead she focuses on her breathing.
B would want her to try to find out everything she can about Phantom. But respectfully, screw him. She’s still struggling with the drugs and Phantom did nothing but help her through it and tie up Scarecrow and his goons. While she might want to know how he managed to get her over the effects of the drug so fast and with no antidote, she’s just grateful he did it.
She’ll claim that she was too out of it. Alfred won’t let B get on her case over this.
And well…the dead deserve to rest.
Author’s Note: Steph absolutely was saying much of her thoughts aloud. Will we ever know how much? Who can say. Danny didn’t want her to feel embarrassed about it since she couldn’t really help it.
Also Steph using any pronouns is something you won’t even be able to pry out of my cold dead hands. Thank you for coming to my ted talk
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