Himawari - Chapter 3
“You’ve never thought of killing Naruto? Of having your revenge?”
“What makes you think I haven't?”
Chapter 3 of a Kimetsu no Yaiba-verse AU
Kakashi sat in his room and looked gravely at the mess of scrolls and papers before him. It was just past midnight on a cloudy evening, and the only light available was from a paper lamp that was just a bit weaker than he would have liked. Beside him, Uhei snored softly with only an occasional twitch of the nose, clearly exhausted from sprinting through the countryside.
He looked over the latest report.
“I brought Dango-chan along with me up North this time. The trace we found was pretty fresh. She estimates it couldn’t be older than a few months. Unfortunately, there aren’t any locals left for us to question, so we don’t have any clues about his latest form. We may have bought ourselves a bit more time, but judging from his trajectory, I can’t say it looks promising. Don’t slack off too much. I’ll be sending Dango-chan back, rendezvous with her when you can.”
This was bad news as much as it was not-so-terrible news, Kakashi mused.
He dipped a brush into some fresh ink, and marked a cross onto the map before him. With one efficient stroke, a line soon connected this latest cross to an older marking in the South-west direction. Kakashi surveyed the work before him; a serpentine constellation of lines, crosses and notations collected on Orochimaru’s whereabouts over the generations across the country.
Jiraiya was right. Having just taken over a new host, Orochimaru would be unable to switch bodies for a while. Past records told them he needed time to recover his strength after each possession, but the overall trend was undeniably disturbing. The periods between were getting shorter and shorter; the collateral damage growing in devastation with each iteration. Did he require less recovery time now, or was he just getting desperate?
Kakashi grimaced. Too little information. There had only been a handful of sightings of the great demon himself over the generations, and even then only a few reports existed from people who had lived to tell of their encounters, one of whom was Jiraiya. His own Father, as great of a warrior he was, had not survived his.
He looked over the map once more, taking in Orochimaru’s journey and his inevitable destination.
Really, they had a few years at best.
The Pillar let out a small sigh, allowing his thoughts to drift to the pair he knew were sleeping just across the courtyard from him.
-------------------------------------
“You’ve never thought of killing Naruto? Of having your revenge?”
It was a question born out of curiosity. He really just wanted to get to know Iruka a little better.
Then came his answer.
“What makes you think I haven't?”
If there was any brevity in the air before this, it was nowhere to be found now.
An amber-brown gaze was fixed on him, and for the first time he found himself unable to read Iruka. Between them now was only the crackle of a flame, and they waited to see who would break their silence first.
Well, he’d started this inquiry, Kakashi thought. Time to see where it would take them.
“Seeing how well you get along, it’s a bit surprising…that’s all.”
It was sincere, without a hint of sarcasm.
Sensing this, Iruka broke eye contact and dipped his head, staring at his own reflection in the cup of tea still in his hands, his expression somber. Kakashi refused to press choosing instead to observe silently; the subtle signs of exhaustion, usually camouflaged by a smile and good humor. Iruka never let it show in front of Naruto or his students, but if the other evening was anything to go by, he mustn't have had a decent night's sleep in a while now.
“Sarutobi-sama can be unexpectedly cruel sometimes, you know.” Iruka whispered. His lips turned in a wry smile.
If Minato-sensei and Jiraiya had been any indication, Kakashi thought he might have had some kind of clue, but he held his tongue. Hopefully, they’d be able to joke about it later.
“Kakashi-san, how do you think we came to find out about Naruto’s immunity to sunlight?”
Ah. This was something that had bothered him for a while, and certainly not something he’d expected to find out so soon, not from Iruka, anyway.
When Kakashi had delivered his sensei’s newborn child to Jiraiya, it had been a few hours before dawn. It was the last time he ever saw Naruto before coming here. Meeting him out in the open with Iruka that first day was something completely unexpected.
“Am I even allowed to hear this?”
“It was left to my discretion. I think...it will be good for you to know.”
To Iruka’s discretion?
Add another entry onto the pile of mysteries that was Umino Iruka.
“You’ll have my silence, I swear it.”
Iruka put down his cup before finally lifting his head to meet his gaze again. There was a kind of condemned relief in his expression, Kakashi found. Almost like he’d been waiting for the day he could speak of whatever it was that haunted him.
-------------------------------------
Iruka found some comfort in the thought that Kakashi would be the one to hear his confession.
He had come to like the man. Behind the cool, bored exterior was not just a genuine ability to care, but a sense of humor and a smile (though he couldn’t see most of it, but he could definitely feel it) that Iruka found strangely refreshing.
Would he be able to see Iruka in the same way once this was said and done?
As unlikely as it was, it would be nice if he could.
Iruka took in another breath to steady himself.
Slowly, the memories he had tried to lock away came bubbling to the surface.
“It was just over a year after I lost my parents to the Kyuubi.” He started. “Sarutobi offered to take me in, and I only agreed on the condition he’d teach me the skills I needed to defeat the fox. Stupid, I know.” He sighed. Iruka remembered the days of endless reading, pouring over texts and scrolls till his head spinned. The physical training was just as punishing. Sarutobi was a harsh taskmaster, but Iruka had gotten what he’d asked for.
“I’d just started living in his estate when he introduced us.” He paused, and his smile turned just a bit sadder.
He also lost his parents, the same night you did, Iruka.
“Naruto was so small. I’d babysit him after training in the evenings. It was the only time I ever saw him.” Only Iruka would have been able to tell of a time when Naruto’s inability to be understood came from not having even learned words yet.
“But the wounds, they never healed. I was still so angry.” The fists in his lap clenched involuntarily. “When I came of age, I demanded to know how I could kill the fox once and for all, and I needed to know where I could find it. It was what we’d agreed on.”
He’d been standing in the rock garden that afternoon, and Iruka recalled the look on Sarutobi’s face as he sat in the shadow of the study.
Even through the veil of pipe smoke; it was a picture of concern and unmistakable disappointment.
All that training, even the time with a child like Naruto hadn’t been enough to quell the hurt that had been building inside.
“Sarutobi’s a man of his word though. He fully intended to give me the answers I wanted. So he called the attendants to bring Naruto, it was the first time I ever saw him in the day.”
Naruto was still asleep, and was placed before Sarutobi. But soon there was a yawn, and he started shifting and eventually awoke to unfamiliar surroundings. Iruka remembered staring at the scene in growing horror, the realisation slowly dawning upon him.
“If you would take what it is you seek, Iruka, you know what you must do. This was all he said.” Iruka repeated, feeling his throat tighten.
Kakashi hadn’t said a word since he started, and Iruka wished in the back of his mind that he had. Anything to take him out of the flow of this painful recollection, he would have welcomed. But there were no words, just a softened gaze without judgement, and somehow that made it hurt all the more.
“This was all I’d lived for after my parents died. Although thinking back, it was so pathetic. Sarutobi had never lied to me, he had no reason to then either. So I waited.”
If he’s a demon. All I would have to do is wait right here.
There wasn’t a single rational thought going through his head at the time. In his mind he saw his parent’s broken bodies, smelled the blood in the air that night. Even the groggy smile on Naruto’s face when he saw Iruka wasn’t enough to snap him out of his delirium.
Then he got on his feet, slow and unsteady as newly awoken toddlers did.
“Ruukaa!”
Those had been one of his first words too.
“He started walking towards me...and I just stood there.” He could feel the heat creeping up his neck, spreading across his face. Shame. Shame.
Every step Naruto took closer to the boundary of shade and light pounded like thunder in his ears. Between them both, a sinister parody of Yin and Yang.
“Then he fell. I wasn’t in time to stop him completely.”
Naruto reached out his small arms towards him, and tripped on his next step. If time was crawling before then, it stopped for him now. The last thing Iruka remembered seeing was the light hitting tiny hands, and a surprised yelp. Iruka’s body had moved on its own then. But he was too late. He knew it. He felt Naruto’s body against his as he crashed back into the study.
What would he see when he finally opened his eyes? He remembered once, a demon tied to a tree, slowly disintegrating into blackened, glowing ash as the first rays of dawn hit him.
But the body against him was still solid, and that gave him the courage to pry his eyes open.
“But Naruto was still there. He was whole. His arms were completely untouched.” Iruka felt the tears of shame and relief flow freely, and rubbed them away with the back of his hand. Crying in front of a Hashira, as if the shame he felt wasn’t enough.
Naruto was smiling at him, his eyes so wide Iruka saw his own reflection in them. Something in him shattered then, and he embraced Naruto, crying. The toddler merely patted his head with his tiny hands.
Behind them, Sarutobi looked on, dumbfounded. His pipe dropped and forgotten on the floor.
“That was how we realised Naruto could live under the sun.”
Yes, even if it was only because, for a moment, Iruka had been willing to let Naruto get hurt, for a sin that wasn’t even his.
-------------------------------------
Kakashi could have been mad, perhaps he should have been.
His sensei’s child, the baby he had to fight so hard to save on that massacre of a night, could have died for a boy’s revenge if it weren’t for a strange twist of fate.
He’d been granted the chance to live normally in the light of day, something his clan never had the ability to do, and Iruka was the reason for that, even if the circumstances were less than ideal.
Could he bring himself to be angry at Iruka?
The youth was a wreck before him, even if he was doing his best to hide it.
Kakashi certainly didn’t expect this, going into the afternoon. But he’d gotten what he’d asked for, and then some.
He didn’t get a chance to ponder for long before Iruka spoke again.
“You have a visitor, Kakashi-san. By the sounds of it, it’s an important message. I’ll get out of your way.” He bowed, before taking his sword and rising. As he broke the seal on the door and parted the shoji, a familiar bark reached his ears. It was Uhei, Kakashi realised.
“Thank you for the tea.”
He didn’t even give Kakashi the chance to respond before he disappeared into the hallway.
-------------------------------------
Dinner that night was an awkward affair. At the school they ate communally, the offerings of the day depending on what the older students could scavenge from the surrounding forests. Survival training was a daily affair here, after all. Staples like rice and salt they received from headquarters, anything else was up to them to procure.
It was a simple meal of rice, bamboo shoots, pickled plum and mackerel, fished from the river a distance away.
Kakashi had rejected any attempts to seat him as an ‘honored guest’ the day he arrived, and because he’d been placed under Iruka’s care, they normally sat together with the other Instructors. Tonight, Iruka was nowhere to be found.
“Oi Naruto, what’s up with your brother?” Across Kakashi sat Izumo today, one of the guards and assistant Instructors. He’d turned around to nudge Naruto in the back. The boy, who’d just snuck Lee his bamboo shoots, merely turned to Kakashi and sent a nasty glare his way.
Oh dear.
“He said he wasn’t feeling well. I’m bringing him dinner later.”
“Again? You sure you aren’t giving Iruka a hard time? It’s been happening more often lately.” This time it was the other guard, Kotetsu who interjected. Naruto looked utterly indignant, his glare towards Kakashi only intensifying.
“Ask baka-Kakashi over there! He was just fine during class today!”
“Naruto you idiot! Show the Hashira some respect.” Mizuki hissed from his seat. Naruto stuck out his tongue at him before turning around to continue his dinner. Watching the exchange, Lee looked a little greener than usual.
“My apologies, Hatake-dono. The kids here forget their manners sometimes. Naruto in particular overreacts when Iruka’s involved” Izumo sighed. Kakashi shook his head and waved it off. He had to admit ticking Naruto off was just a bit enjoyable, but really, he couldn’t blame the kid.
Naruto had good reason to be upset at him.
-------------------------------------
Kakashi’s terrible habit of letting his curiosity get the better of him seemed to have gotten worse since he arrived here.
That was probably why he found himself crouched upon one of the wooden beams that stretched across the ceiling, his presence carefully masked, above a sleeping Naruto and his guardian. Iruka looked exhausted, but slept without the tremors that disturbed him the previous evening. Naruto was curled up close, facing him, almost as if he was the one on guard that night.
In hindsight, the conversation in the afternoon was undeniably revealing, but also produced more unanswered questions than Kakashi was comfortable with.
He also wasn’t usually this impulsive, but this was home ground. There would be little risk in getting at least one of those questions answered here tonight.
With blade in hand, he descended.
No, he wasn’t expecting his blade to sink into flesh, but he didn’t quite expect what happened in the next instant either.
As soon as he’d leapt from the beam, Naruto was snatched from his futon by an obviously very awake Iruka, who rolled them both right past a curtained partition, before being seemingly swallowed by a wall just behind it.
A misdirection seal, here?
Kakashi felt a presence materialise above him.
He only had time to free his blade from the stabbed futon under him before turning his body to block the weapon and the subsequent mass that descended upon him. The ring of metal meeting metal pierced the air. Having found focus, Kakashi’s eye was met with a gaze that was only unfamiliar in its intensity and the sheer annoyance it radiated. Though, if he looked carefully, he could find some barely hidden amusement mixed in there too.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, Hatake-dono?”
He couldn’t quite see the smirk that was definitely on his lips, but his eyes had a tendency to reveal too much.
“Oh, just thought I’d drop in and see how you were doing, Iruka-sensei. You didn’t show up at dinner.”
Kakashi smiled, how thoughtful he was.
A small shift reminded Kakashi of his current position. His back was pressed against Iruka’s futon, with its owner currently straddling his waist as he put more of his body weight onto the blade threatening to bite into Kakashi’s throat. It was not the slayer katana he would have expected, no, Iruka’s still lay in its sheath by his hip. Instead, gripped in his hands was a kunai, longer and deadlier looking than the ones usually kept hidden in clothing. A fascinating choice of weapon for someone who was supposed to be a swordsman.
Kakashi would have commented on it sooner, but instead he took a moment to take in the view. Feathers from the ripped futon had been released into the air from their commotion, and some were still continuing their sleepy descent. Combined with the pale light and his intense glare, it gave Iruka an otherworldly look.
Kakashi found himself thinking that with the addition of some wings, he’d make for a fine tengu. Although, his face was much too dignified to play the part. He chuckled at the thought.
“Something amusing, Kakashi-san?”
“I was just thinking you looked a little annoyed, Iruka-sensei.”
“What would I have to be annoyed about? “
Interrupted sleep, spent seals that needed resetting, a ripped bed and blanket, having to fetch Naruto back from wherever he was hidden.
He could think of a few more things.
But for now, he found that he didn’t mind at all being the main object of Iruka’s irritation.
“Nice kunai you have there.” The force against his blade increased by just a nudge, an offer for a closer look.
“Our blades weren’t created to be used against humans.”
A teacher even outside the classroom.
“A gift from Sarutobi?”
“The best blade-,”
“-is the one you have on you” Kakashi finished. How many times had he heard Minato recite that line, but there was no denying the truth in it. After all, who knows how many slayers had died for want of a blade, even one as small as a kunai.
Iruka looked satisfied enough with his answer though. A small smile had slipped through the cracks.
The killing intent in the air had died down, and Kakashi thought it a good time to get some answers. He looked Iruka straight in the eyes, intending to start with the most important one:
“Have I incurred your anger, sensei?”
It came out softer and more apologetic than he’d intended.
That was enough for Iruka to falter, his eyes widening in surprise. The kunai was swiftly withdrawn, and in that moment he seemed to gain an acute awareness of his current position. It took mere seconds before his face was ablaze, right to the tips of his ears, making the scar across his face stand out more than usual. The warmth against Kakashi’s body soon disappeared, and before he could stop him, Iruka had his forehead and palms pressed against the wooden floor beside him.
“Forgive me, Kakashi-san. I forgot my station.”
“Iruka.”
Silence.
“Iruka-sensei, I won’t repeat myself. Raise your head.”
He did as he was instructed, but refused to meet his eye. Kakashi sat up on the futon across him, reached out, and placed a hand on the teacher’s shoulder.
“Our conversation this afternoon has obviously caused you a lot of grief, sensei. It wasn’t my intention. I apologise.”
Iruka merely shook his head in response.
“Please. Don’t.” He pleaded under his breath. “If anyone has cause for anger, it’s you.”
“Sarutobi-sama told me you were the one who saved Naruto that night. If it wasn’t for my stupidity, Naruto-,”
“Naruto wouldn’t be living the life he does now. Like a normal child, with friends, family - you. He’d be kept in the dark, alone and not even knowing why, when he could actually live under the sun with everyone else.”
Iruka was finally looking at him now, albeit dumbstruck. Like he couldn’t believe his ears.
“Iruka, we’ve all made mistakes, but Naruto’s alive, and it will be our job to make sure he stays that way.” Yes, Iruka’s and his, most likely. He wasn’t sure if the other Hashira would be so keen on the idea.
This time, Iruka didn’t argue with him, which he was grateful for. It had been a long, exhausting day. Instead, he favoured Kakashi with a look of considerable relief, and just a glint of hope to have found a comrade who considered Naruto worth protecting, despite the truth of his existence.
“By the way, Iruka-sensei, where’s Naruto?”
“Ah.” He froze. It took a whole three seconds before he took to his feet and started for the door leading to the back yard.
“Kakashi-san, it would probably be best if you weren’t here when we return. Naruto was spewing some awful things about you when he delivered dinner. I’d hate to get him riled up this late.” It was quiet, teasing, but noticeably lighter than it had been all day. He was about to set off when Kakashi interrupted.
“See you later?”
“For tea? Only if you’re making it. It was good.”
“All right. I’ll help you with your beddings too.”
“I’d expect no less. Have a good night, Kakashi-san.”
With that he disappeared beyond the wall and into the night.
Kakashi stood to leave, but not before looking up at the spot where Iruka had descended from. He’d had to squint; engraved into the wood was the faintest misdirection seal he’d ever seen.
If Iruka doesn’t stop with the surprises, I’m going to have to keep bothering him.
He sighed. But somewhere at the back of his mind, a voice was telling him it might not be so bad.
-------------------------------------
End of Chapter 3
Author’s Notes:
Wow, a long one after a long break! Hope you guys enjoyed it! It took a while to figure out what direction I wanted this to go in, but it was a very fun chapter to write. It’s going to be a surprisingly slow burn, this one.
The art is of an awkward Iruka babysitting young Naruto.
This chapter is also on AO3 if you’d prefer to read it there sometime.
Any comments at all will be most appreciated and devoured with thanks. : )
120 notes
·
View notes