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whatamidoingwithmylifeman · 3 years

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MK OC Randomness part 8... I think. Fuck it! We're going with it!

Welcome back to the shit show. Let's go!

also some of these jokes are from lamas with hats

Qiao Fu is my name for the Lin Kuei Grandmaster

Also some of these jokes are based off skits done by Moonkitti on YouTube. Just re-worded a bit

Nozomi: Hey uncle Shinnok! Do your old man voice!

Shinnok, in his normal voice: What old man voice?

Nozomi: Yeah! That one!

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Nozomi: ooh who's this?

Qiao Fu: That's my old wife.

Nozomi: The one who died long ago?

Qiao Fu: The very same

Nozomi: *eyeing the picture* That's too bad. She looks really cute.

Qiao Fu: I'm sorry, do you find my old wife attractive?

Nozomi: Do you not!?

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Nozomi: I wanna see my little boy!

Shang Tsung: *helping Meat walk* Here he comes!

Nozomi: *scooping Meat up and hugging him* I wanna see my little boy!

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"Revenant" Reiki: WHY WOULD YOU THINK ANY OF THIS IS A GOOD IDEA!?

"Revenant" Michiko: Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

"Rev" Reiki: Oh.

"Rev" Michiko: I don't understand how you keep forgetting that.

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Shinnok: Shh, do you hear that?

Shinnok: That's the sound of forgiveness.

Melantha: That's the sound of people dying dad!

Shinnok: That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.

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Shariah: How did you even do this!?

Meat: A dollop of fairy dust!

Shariah: Meat!

Meat: I ripped the tag off a mattress.

Shariah: This isn't funny Meat!

Meat: Who's laughing? Clearly not all the people that just exploded.

Shariah: I'm leaving! I've had enough of this!

Meat: But thank of all the perfectly roasted faces we get to munch on now.

Shariah: What? Why?

Meat: Because we're friends. And friendship is two pals munching on well cooked faces together.

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"The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell! And yet, here you are limbo dancing with the devil!"- Melantha to Hotaru at a family dinner.

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"Oh no. There are consequences to your actions? Who would've thought?" Krow to Raiden and Flamus, still pissed at them for completely destroying a village that housed the remaining nymphs and nymphlims their husband made.

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Nozomi: I'm just here to collect Michiko

Qiao Fu: *tries to stab her*

Nozomi: YOU'RE AN UNFIT FATHER FU! THAT'S NOT EVEN YOUR DAUGHTER! YOU HAVE A HUMAN CHILD! WHO THE FUCK'S DEMON CHILD IS THAT! WHO ARE YOU STEALING CHILDREN FROM!?

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Michiko: You are not my father!

Qiao Fu: Bring proof you are not my daughter!

Meixiu's ghost in the background: Bitch! You literally murdered her birth father!

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Nyx: Get out

Reiko: Aww come on. Can't I check in on my favorite little sister?

Nyx: If you don't leave me my room Reiko, I will stab you. And when I do it won't look pretty.

Reiko: there's a pretty way to stab people? Like with a butterfly knife or something?

Nyx: yup. Handle and all.

Reiko: oh... OH!

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Nemos: Greetings Thunder God!

Raiden: Eh? Nemos what are you doing here?

Nemos: I'm taking advantage of your guilt-ridden personality to get a head start on being a better realm protector while no one is looking.

Raiden: Nope. New timeline, new Raiden. Go- Go play with your sisters.

Nemos: I'll have you know I've lived 15 lives in which I've played with my sisters, and none of them have been consequential!

Raiden: *sighs* I'm trying to take you seriously. Really. But it just feels like an even smaller Shinnok is yelling at me right now.

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Hotaru: *busting into the Sky Temple and picking up Nemos* My beautiful son, I am back from my epic battle of driving out the rebels!

Nemos: Tell me, man who sired me!

Hotaru: We were fighting when suddenly Soldier B produced a substance that burned through their skin!

Nozomi: That sounds like my poison...

Hotaru: Oh no! We'd never poison anyone. Only ambush them in the middle of the night, kill them through physical violence, and intimidate them in other wise orderly court proceedings. Poison is bad.

Nozomi: Have you considered maybe, asking him if he poisoned them?

Hotaru: Oh no, I trust him completely.

Melantha: *holding Discordia and Harmonia* But, what if he did?

Hotaru: *small whimper before glaring and shouting* Solider B! Come here and apologize to my wife for making her think about things immediately!

Solider B: Hi, what?

Hotaru: I said apologize to Melantha!

Solider B: Uh yeah, sorry for poisoning the rebels or something..

Melantha: Hey, has anyone seen Nemos?

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Darrius: It seems one of the soldiers has summoned Melantha to their side.

Hotaru: *spying on the rebels* Gonna go see Melantha. I'm gonna see Melantha at the meeting. Gonna see Melantha. Melantha.

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OB: I made a perfectly good Titan

Fuyuka: You fucked up my daughter is what you did!

Fuyuka: Look at her! She's traumatized!

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Amara: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Leila: I think you mean cards.

Amara, pulling knives out of her sleeves: No, I do not.

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Ermac: Bad things keep happening to us, like we have bad luck or something.

Zyta: Ermac, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

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Zyta: You love me, right, Ermac?

Ermac: Normally, we’d say yes without hesitation, but we feel like this is going somewhere and we don’t like it.

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Kristy: *steps on her glasses by accident*

Kristy: *inhales* If I knew that this would be the fate that befalls me and these damned glasses, I would've just let the fire reach my left eye and burn it out completely!

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Megumi: I turned out perfectly fine!

Ayeka: Megumi, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

Megumi: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

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Zyta: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Philomela: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

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Discordia, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Harmonia: You did WHAT–

Nemos: William Snakepeare

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Discordia: Hey Harmonia,

Harmonia: Yes?

Discordia: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Harmonia:

Harmonia: Where’s Nemos?

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Discordia: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Harmonia: Discordia no.

Nemos: Mistlefoe.

Harmonia: Please stop encouraging her.

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Store Worker: Would a Ms. Philomela please come to the front desk?

Philomela, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Amara and Zyta*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Amara and Zyta, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Philomela: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

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Erron, driving Ash and Kamden: So how was your day?

Ash: We almost got surprise adopted!

Erron: What?

Kamden: We almost got kidnapped.

Erron: Oh, okay.

Erron: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

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Nozomi: Welcome, fellow idiots

Kung Lao: Hello, Nozomi

Nozomi: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot

Kung Lao: You underestimate me

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Nozomi: What are your goals?

Kung Lao: To pet all the dogs.

Nozomi: No, fitness goals.

Kung Lao: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

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Liu Kang: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Nozomi: That's why I carry two swords.

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Sareena: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Michiko's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get her out...

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Sareena: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Michiko: You mean literally or figuratively?

Sareena: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

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Sareena: Michiko... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Michiko: Your text told me to Satanize the house before you returned.

Sareena:

Sareena: I wrote sanitize, Michiko.

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Sareena: You kill people for money?!

Michiko: I can explain!

Sareena: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!

@deepinthefog @merplderpl @yuvononik @dontunderestimatemypoison @feistyfandomthings @toomanyf4ndoms7 @daddydestrey @tora-lotus @calcium1790 @starneko123 @dinogoofy @bar10du @cyberbloodgoddess

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whatamidoingwithmylifeman · 3 years

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MK OC Randomness 2

Rain: Hey Nozomi, you wanna grab lunch?

Nozomi: Oh I already ate lunch with Skarlet. But what do you want, I'll grab it for you.

Rain: ...

Rain: Loyalty.

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Gae: This is why we have issues!

Charu: No-*points to another dead flower Nymph* this is why we have issues!

Gae: *removing the briars* I don't know how that got there.

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Philomela: I like to think that when a snake squeezes a rat, they're actually trying to give it a hug but they end up killing it, so they have to eat it in order to hide its body.

Nemos: I can never ask this enough; but what the fuck is wrong with you!?

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Cyrax, eating a muffin: So Sektor, do you like muffins?

Sektor: No. Not since Michiko tried to poison me through them

Michiko, in the background: I SAID I WAS SORRY!

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Fuyuka, glaring at Havik: You kidnap me, drug me, take me to a secluded lair, just to ask if there's something going on between Quan Chi and I!?

Havik, in his pjs: Yeah. Now tell me the tea of the day

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Nozomi: Hey Mel, you ok?

Melantha: *rubbing her temples* I have this headache that just shows up every now and then

Hotaru: *walking into the room* HEY MELANTHA-

Melantha: *groans* there it is again

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Fuyuka: I'm an early bird

Charu: *snuggling into Shinnok* I'm a night owl. *winks at him*

Krow: I'm a permanently exhausted pigeon.

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(SPOILER WARNING FOR BOOK 1 OF "A Fate I won't repeat")

Beginning of book 1 Fuyuka: I would never hurt anyone.

Ending of book 1 Fuyuka: I'm on way to kill my parents~

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Michiko: I stole your clothes bitch! ;P

Noob: *knowing Michiko is legally blind in the dark* HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO SEE!?

Michiko: that's your concern? Not the clothes?

Noob: oh I can create clothes, no problem. That's what I like about the void. But I wanna know how were you able to pop in and out without crashing into anything?

Michiko: uhhhhhh...

Reiki: *in the background with a small flame lit atop her pointer finger* hehehehe

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Someone random: So what are you?

Krow: *cleaning their glasses* I'm Agender

SR: What does that mean?

Krow: *puts on their glasses and dead pans the person* It means my dick's bigger than gap between you and your father

Flamus: *popping in out of nowhere to high-five Krow*

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Krow: *barges into the sky temple*

Raiden: Twin sibling? Is everything ok?

Krow: I have just been informed that gender is what's in your pants

Raiden: I sense you had a bad day with the mortals

Krow: And I have no clue what the fuck that means!

Raiden: Not a fan of the language, but go on

Krow: So then we got pockets right? right?

Krow: NOPE! WRONG!

Krow: I DON'T HAVE POCKETS! THESE POCKETS ARE LIES! IS THAT WHAT GENDER IS RAIDEN!? A LIE!?

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Gae: Gender is what's in your pants

Krow: does that mean you're an asshole?

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Gae: You can't just not have a gender

Krow: It's how I feel

Gae: No. You gotta pick a gender

Krow: Ok. I pick agender

Gae: Ok.. what gender?

Krow: Agender

Gae: what.. what gender?

Krow: agender

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Aquillo: why do you buy 3x hoodies? You basically fit in a X.

Krow: Oh well that's because I suffer from a condition called titties!

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Gae: I'm sorry, but they/them pronouns are for multiple people

Krow: bold of you to assume I'm not just a conglobation of tortured souls from the ninth circle of hell!

Krow: fuck off Gae

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Theron: We get asked what are gender is and honestly?

Topaz: It's fuck all. We have no fucking clue. It's just there I guess

Krow: You know, I feel that, but on a whole different level

Theron and Topaz: and we respect that

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Michiko: *walking into the throne room* Sorry I'm late, I was... doing things

Sektor: *barging into the room noticeably disheveled* She pushed into the fucking statue!

Michiko: Push is such a strong word. I prefer to call it, giving you a little nudge

Sektor: Oh I'll give you a little nudge when I shove my rocket up your ass!

Michiko: Hey!

Michiko: Watch your fucking language in front of the Grandmaster.

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Bi Han: I need you to swear.

Michiko: Fuck!

Bi Han: . . . later

Bi Han: Swear as in promise!

@yuvononik @yuvon @toomanyf4ndoms7 @deepinthefog @dontunderestimatemypoison @feistyfandomthings

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whatamidoingwithmylifeman · 3 years

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Heights for A Fate I won't repeat books 1-3 part 1

Here we have the main trio of book 1: Fuyuka (8'3), Charu (5'4), and Krow (5'4.5) (Krow is a self-insert and the "male" option is what I felt more comfortable with) (Krow and I are Agender)

Here is the main squad for Book 2: Nozomi (5'3), Melantha (5'7), Michiko (5'7), and Reiki (6'2) (Reiki is genderfluid)

Here are Nozomi's kids in AFIWR book 3: Philomela (5'3), Amara (6'3), and Zyta (6'3)

Melantha's kids in AFIWR book 3: Harmonia (5'7), Discordia (5'7), Nemos (

Here are Melantha's kids in AFIWR book 3: Harmonia (5'7), Discordia (5'7), Nemos (6'1)

Michiko's kids in AFIWR book 3: Tamotsu (6'3), Satoru (5'3), Xue (6'1), Nori (5'7), Su (5'7), and Makato (6'2) (Makato is non-binary and uses ze/zir pronoun)

And Reiki's kids in AFIWR book 3: Masumi (6'2), Satoshi (6'2), and YanMei (6'1)

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whatamidoingwithmylifeman · 2 years

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🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🐸 hahahaha

okay- soooo spoilers for the following; A Fate I won't repeat, MK11 OC VS Canon, MK Original timeline prompts, Song Fics, and 2 things based around different RPs (the rp things are just things I want to share for fun. Beyond what you read, you may not see anything else of it)

1. Delia caught up to Fuyuka and caught her by the hand. In that instance, Fuyuka felt she was back in her body, and all the terrifying razors and gunky tar that blocked her, was gone. When she looked at Delia, Sharmila heard the sweet tune of a piano and the beautiful whistle of the flute playing from Fuyuka’s heart. A more sympathetic tune of worry was playing from Delia’s heart. At that moment, Sharmila began to wonder, were Delia and Fuyuka more than friends? Or were Fuyuka’s feelings one-sided? (A Fate I won't repeat, chapter 6.) (status; on hold)

2. Baraka: Shariah! You’re safe!

Shariah: Why wouldn’t I be?

Baraka: Because she is the spawn of Quan Chi! (Mortal Kombat 11 OC VS Canon) (status; spaced out updates)

3. There inside the vision of the molten pool was a tall, silver-skin goddess with intense red hair, and soft grey eyes. Nozomi recognized her. It was Fuyuka! Was Fuyuka her mom? Nozomi grabbed a bit of her short hair and pulled it forward to try to get a look at it. It was the exact same color. She then noticed that their noses and shape of eyes were similar. Fuyuka really was her mom. “Did… did she know I was alive?” Quan Chi looked at her and nodded grimly. (MK Original timeline prompts; Traitors! All of them!) (status; semi on hold/sort of working on)

4. (I know that I’m infected. But who could have predicted, the monster that I've become)

“Greetings Phantos, high guard of Shao Kahn. Welcome to the Netherrealm.” The pale demi goddess spoke with a drone voice, as if she had done this time and time again and was just getting tired.

Phantos was alarmed. “H-How do you-”

“Oh we know a lot about you.” The necromancer circled the ghoulite, who’s head had been sewn on to a replica of his own body. “You’re in our domain after all.” (Song Fics; Terrible Things-Phantos) (status; done, will be posting soon)

5. She weakly started to push herself up but stopped when she heard the sound of paws hitting against the floor. The Fate looked behind her to see a great white hound charge at her. It leapt, claws out, ready to strike. But Nozomi flattened herself, causing the hound to crash land. The hound scrambled to its paws and shook its head. It turned to attack, but found that the Fate was not there.

Looking around, the hound turned back into Lieh’giti and growled.

“Oh little Fate~ where ARE YOU!?”

Suddenly there is a hiss and Lieh’giti is bit in the leg by a black cobra with frosted white markings. Lieh’giti stumbled back a bit, before catching himself. Its hood was out as it snapped at Lieh’giti who got closer. (Forsaken AU by @yuvononik and me; Tonight you belong to me- Lieh'giti x Nozomi)

6. The three creatures and two familiars had approached the border into Sharkan territory. Skeltik. There a giant spider stopped them. But before the spider could ask them what they were doing there, Nephele, high command of the Nymphs, flew down and approached the group. Naomi smiled.

"Nephele! You're hibernation is over! You look beautiful!" The witch said, beaming with delight.

"Well thank you Naomi. What brings you all here?" The now silver skinned cloud nymph asked.

It was the sorcerer, Shinior, who stepped forward. "We're here to find the nymph known as Philomela."

"She holds a sword that Naomi needs to take to down Hemare." Said the dragon-demon hybrid, Zyrin, stepping forward. (a scenario for an rp between, @yahsatin , @daddydestrey , and me)

and that is all. Thank you so much

@feistyfandomthings @dontunderestimatemypoison @mommymao @cyo-bro @thevoidwriting @theelderhazelnut @ninibear3000 @loverofthewindgod @space-steph

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