#mostly cause i like them soft and squishy and only technically cooked

[pastafossa]

pasta listen,

at least the goddam fucking fire alarm isn't going off at 1:30 in the middle of the night because someone burned cookies.

**cookies**

they BURNED CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES LIKE HOW THAT'S SO HARD TO DO (it's like a golden rule ya know? no longer than 12-15 mins and even then it starts to get brown and then to really really charcoal black burn them you have to cook for twenty minutes) and the entire dorm had to go outside and stand for like twenty minutes until the cops came

every room in the dorm has one so here i am, getting ready for bed bc im tired of studying and the alarm goes off, my ears are ringing and the second i step out into the hallway im quite literally in pain

also try a plug-in fan and aim it at the smoke detector- that helps back home lollll

I'm not sure what would drive me up a wall more - the noise, the why of the noise, having to leave my warm cozy den after studying, or the FOOD CRIME OF BURNING THE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS WATCH THEM UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN (or VERY lightly crispy in my case, I like the soft squishy ones).

also as someone with sensory issues i feel you on the noise

Fortunately, my detector just needs new batteries! BUT I'm going to remember the fan thing, cause damn I still burn shit occasionally

. 😂

#i love roast corn but i cannot successfully pan roast corn to save my gd life #FAN TIME #also cookies are easy how did he burn them #you just STAND THERE #you WATCH THE COOKIES #choco chip cookies are the only cookies i can bake without a timer #i can just stand there and watch them #and wait for my cookies #mostly cause i like them soft and squishy and only technically cooked #i'd be so mad about the alarm if someone burned cookies and set it off i do not like LOUD NOISES #especially HIGH PITCHED ONES #AND THEN TO GO OUTSIDE #NO #SIR #you get COAL FOR CHRISTMAS #COOKIE JAIL FOR THE FAILED BAKER #COOKIE JAIL FOR TEN THOUSAND YEARS

[banana-zim]

My Zim Headcanons (mostly for the comic I'm working on with BigPoop, which is basically my 'Zim', so yeah):

He doesn't blush - instead, when he becomes filled with this twisted, foreign emotion that he feels sickly and squishy from, he develops these 'bumps' in patches. They start on his neck and as they get worse, it can go to his jaw and on the front of his face [where a nose would be]. Zim doesn't do this a lot, but when he does, it's itches for him. He doesn't like it.

His antenna act as if they have a mind of their own. If he's laying in bed and snuggling with Dib (and with Dib being a huge cuddler, this happens A LOT), his antenna will 99.9% of the time wrap around Dib's scythe part of his hair. They get tangled like this, a lot.

Speaking of antenna, Zim's is used for multiple things - smelling and hearing the most. In terms of mating, though, they're also used to "mark" what's his. He can rub them against a part of his mate which will cause them to smell different. To the mate (Dib, in this case), it smells like their favorite snack (Dib says he smells donuts, which he loves churros). To others, it smells like blood - their own blood.

Zim's antenna are extremely sensitive near the base, but less so near the top. Soft touches and caresses can soothe him, cause bumps, or make him emit a throaty low-level purr. He hates when Dib touches these uninvited, since it catches him off guard.

Zim is not soft. Rarely does he get that way, too. (And when he does, it's usually just him gazing into Dib's eyes and taking everything in.) He is naturally feral, possessive, sharp, demanding, arrogant, egotistical, critical, judgmental, and emotionally stunted (just like Dib). He can be nurturing, but only if he sees it benefiting him somehow, even indirectly. In the AU, he does harbor "squishy" feelings for Dib, but he also doesn't know how to show them properly all the time.

Zim likes to be in control, with everything, at all times. He is not submissive in any way. He likes to make orders and have others follow them.

Zim is addicted to coffee. He drinks it every morning and throughout the day. He drinks it with lots of sugar and cream; the sweeter, the better. Dib thinks he has a problem. Zim sees none.

Zim knows how to clean and cook. Germs are his enemy, and this hasn't left him since that first incident. His place is usually kept neat and tidy. With cooking, he won't explain why he knows how to (he doesn't like to relive memories of that place), but damn does he make a good casserole. Dib is useless when it comes to cooking properly for himself, so Zim has to cook for him and make sure he doesn't become malnutritious.

He's shorter than Dib once Dib is older, reaching his shoulders. But don't let height fool you - he's a force to be reckoned with, and he doesn't like to be stepped on.

Call him a "pistachio" and it'll set him off, cursing you up a storm. Dib likes to do this. Dib's lucky he still has all ten fingers.

Zim is a male Irken with irken-male-assigned body traits. That's all I'll say, since I like to keep this Tumblr SFW.

Zim doesn't have a sexuality. (But he does have squishy feelings for Dib.) Technically, irkens have outlawed "mateship" in their race, with the smeetery and all. (Tallest Red and Purple having a thing doesn't count, because they're the Tallests and no one questions their leaders.) This will be explored in greater depth in the comic.

#banana text #au comic ramble #invader zim #zadr #dib membrane