#my apologies if any of this is difficult to understand!! i'm fine with clarifying further if need be;

[dailybbq]

HI WOW I LOVE UR ART

if possible can u drop some of ur qtaro hc's? its rare to meet another qtaro enjoyer !! :D

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! i'm always so happy to find others who enjoy him - it's been a little easier since 3-1 now that other people actually consider him :'P!! & yes of course! i have many, but i think (since it is a 'general' prompt), i will leave it to the basic headcanons on his backstory/character for now :]

DAY 2: WHO IS HE?!

- Ethnically Puerto-Rican & Scottish-Japanese! He's fluent in Japanese, Spanish, and English (less so, he's uncertain about some pronunciations and prefers writing it out instead of speaking it) - where he grew up has certainly affected the sort of intense emphasis/descriptive language he uses in Japanese, but Spanish has also affected the style in which he speaks :D + he also really enjoys learning about other cultures (and reconnecting with his own!) through language & conversing with the people there. It's much more interesting and personal than simply... reading research other people have gathered on them.

- Transmasc non-binary; primarily uses he/him in English, él/lo in Spanish! He also finds neopronouns fun. Though he doesn't elect to use them for himself, he doesn't mind if others do!!

- Bisexual & polyamorous also :] I have a small (often not too relevant, other than me providing further context to all of those Q-taro's had to leave behind for the Death Game) headcanon that he has a boyfriend named Yusuke (友輔) who he met in high school! Yusuke's also struggled academically, to the point that he fell a year behind Q-taro — having to make-up the credits for that extra year before he could finally graduate. Soon after, when he was able to make it through his undergraduate degree, they celebrated together... and through an drunk accident, Q-taro severely injured himself. This is the incident shown in-game, and it's what plays into his struggles of realizing how much he's seemingly 'left behind' and how stagnant his life feels while Yusuke continues school, the kids at the orphanage are growing up, the team's already figured out a strategy to make up for his absence... but, well. I digress.

- Q-taro really loves taking photos of his day-to-day. Even if he's not often the one in the pictures, he loves getting to see his friends smiling at some stupid joke he made behind the camera, or taking more subtle pictures when they're casually hanging out and laughing — not purposefully smiling for the camera or anything... it feels far more genuine.

...Hence, his 'treasure' in the prize exchange is a camera the kids got for him on his birthday one year. Photos of his life before the Death Game are still in the cartridge — even the one he took of Yusuke moments before he was hospitalized and isolated from everyone he cared for. Asunaro grants him this to serve both as a reminder of his loved ones waiting for him, and of how devastated he was when he was injured and felt as if his life was passing him by. In this 'Game', his life will be stolen — and Q-taro still has a life he wants to live... he has to live...

- In any case... I also think he has a chronic limp from (physical) bullying he endured when he was younger (he never really tried to fight back, and they went harder on him because he was dark-skinned + a large kid, they assumed he could take more of a beating). He healed up well enough, and it doesn't impair his skill on the field at all, but it is noticeable when you notice him casually walking. When Asunaro replaced his limbs upon request, they still had to implement some weakness in it such that he wouldn't question or overcompensate for the limp he's always had. (& adjacently related, but I do delve more into a pre-/no-Death Game AU reference here if you're interested!)

- Additionally, I do believe he's coded in-game to have autism — whether or not it was as intentional as Gin's pre-established symptoms, it remains true in my mind... The ways in which he connects with Gin and Kai, his literal and blunt manner of addressing things (there are many instances, but particularly the start of 2-1 where he belatedly realizes that although he'd like to applaud Sara for being strong, he needs to instead focus on the fact she's still in a vulnerable place and try to support her that way... 'cause she is still a kid, even if she's trying to act like a leader right now. It's also why his later conversation with her quickly veers into the topic of 'casual life' — by way of distraction and finding comfort for her sake, because he knows Asunaro's pushing the participants' limits intentionally), the intense 'passion' he holds for many things... you must see my vision, yes...

With that, and the context of many other participants in-game canonically having schizo-spec disorders, I also headcanon him to have schizo-affective bipolar disorder. He foremost experiences auditory hallucinations, and occasionally has to double-check with those he cares for to make sure they weren't calling him, or that they didn't say something that his brain has latched onto and repeated (which, when not idly irritating, can be upsetting phrases that he internalizes). When he's experiencing manic episodes, he often goes days unable to sleep because he feels both physically and mentally restless — he'll often struggle to manage his frustration/sensory overload in his attempts to physically wear himself out (in the hopes it gets him to finally rest) & he tends to intensely focus on various inane hobbies he'll drop soon after the episode ends. This includes (but is not limited to): testing out pottery, collecting and sorting different washi tapes, researching and testing the differences in fungi, and baking (he normally just cooks; baking isn't his thing (although he loves pastries)). Q-taro also struggles immensely with articulating himself aloud (this also ties into the autism) when it comes to more lengthy or serious discussions. While he understands what he wishes to say, he can't often figure out a good way of getting it out — hence defaulting to physical touch and affection to reassure others.

- Speaking of his favored physical touch! I think he enjoys all forms of it, but ultimately prefers:

- Hugging (people are usually shorter than him, and he likes hugging them, then picking them up in the air and spinning him... though he's also fond of casual moments where he gets to lean down over someone's shoulder while they're busy and hug them like that) - Hands on one's face (when he's comforting a kid, he often holds their face to help them feel 'steady' & to make it easier to wipe away their tears (or, lets them lean into his shoulder to hide the tears), and will gently nudge their chin up when he's trying to inspire some confidence. he likes letting his loved ones close to his face, because he considers that a really vulnerable part of someone. (also... he thinks it's cute when Yusuke pinches his cheeks when he pretends to be scolding him.)) - Hand-holding!!! (it's nice, and as i've shown above... he likes being gentle with his loved ones. but, whether it's something silly like swinging their hands around, or holding their hand in public for comfort's sake, or simply something to help them ground themselves... he just enjoys knowing they're there.)

And... I think that is all I'm going to add for now!! I hope this suffices; thank you for reading through! Maybe next time I'll delve more into my hcs of how he interacts with some of the cast (or, perhaps simply draw that out :D)

#my apologies if any of this is difficult to understand!! i'm fine with clarifying further if need be; #i just haven't had the energy to re-read what i've written out as of late before i post/send them :'D #also... wow :P i am surprised to see that i've gone a post without mentioning q-taro & gin in immense detail. #when i post abt characters. i tend to always drag in their main associates with them - but! this is mainly abt q-taro on his own standing! #|| #yttd #yttd hcs #asks #requests

[myfictionaldreams]

hi! i’m that asshole anon :/

at the time i really was just very upset about the fics! theres so many people who don't care to grow and change, or dont care if it “glamourizes” that behavior. it was for sure a knee jerk reaction. i definitely should have chosen my words better and could've for sure been kinder. I do want to say that while the dynamics weren't good your writing is FANTASTIC!!! ive seen you on ao3 and your work is sincerely really good.

i'm sorry that my (rude) message made you feel bad, i think you are an amazing writer and I appreciate you coming back with a nicer response than I would've. I really do feel bad.

your smut is done really well, and i’m hiding behind the anon wall because at first it was just bc i have a *tiny* following. but now its because i’m so very ashamed at my behavior. i do agree that that was shitty and I don’t deserve any kindness or good will.

i can see that you’re a growing writer and I do understand how much those kind of comments can be. again you are a good writer. i think maybe reading those felt like such a shock and I should’ve handled it better, maybe come to you in private with respect and after cooling down. i only wrote that to you because I wasn’t seeing disclaimers for the ones that i was talking about (on ao3)

i sincerely apologize, I hope that I didn’t make you feel bad or discourage you in any way. I was far too harsh and I understand that we are all human and none of us are perfect. I wanted to explain my feelings, but not excuse my actions. i wish i had a time machine. and i appreciate you as a writer, and when the time comes I hope you can forgive me <3

Hi! firstly sorry for taking a few days to respond my personal life has been very hectic & also needed to think about what/how to say my response.

Right, firstly i really really appreciate you returning and apologising and understanding that way that you worded the message was wrong etc and it’s clear from this message you do feel bad and understand that it was wrong so I do want to thank you for that.

However, I really do want to emphasis how difficult these negative/hateful messages make writers feel. This message or any other hate messages I will always remember, particularly when its feedback for things that aren’t intentinal (such as the bdsm dynamic you referred too). Sometimes writing doesn’t always come across how I wanted to in my mind and doesnt mean that it is written with malicious intent. Furthermore, there are ALWAYS warnings on my writing that I do feel like people just half read and don’t fully take into account. Yes, I could have labelled it further to specify that the reader enjoyed to be punished therefore there was pre-agreed consent but as I said, it was one of my very first fanfics so had a lot to learn still.

Again, I really do appreciate your response because every time I reply to a hateful anon, they never come back and I feel like it wasn’t worth the response in the first place so I’m very happy that you’ve actually read my explanation etc and giving me another chance.

Just for future though, for you or ANYONE going to send a message, always do it with kindness and education in mind. It’s hard to see that you have mentioned that you have enjoyed my other work so you know my writing style and still felt that one fic was glamourising something so negative you felt the need to send me a hurtful and patronising message instead of taking a moment to think ‘oh i like the other fics, this one is a bit different maybe i should message just to clarify’ - instead of what was sent in the first place and just assuming that I’m willing to write abusive fics.

But anyway, all is forgiven because I really hate negativity, I hope you are also doing ok, I do believe you are sorry and regret sending the message so everything is absolutely fine, lessons are learnt on both end of this interaction. Sending peace and love ღღ

#anon #asks*