#neila blathers

[neilanuruodo]

Thinking about how Larian does a great job of making characters multidimensional and complex. And then there's Raphael. But honestly I don't think his "cardboard cutout Disney villain" thing is bad writing at all. I think that's his goal. His aspiration. He comes from two worlds as a cambion, and he's all but going overboard to turn his back on one to fit into the other. His greatest motivation is to go to evil college and be very evil (he may have forgotten how Disney villains tend to lose in the end, oops...)

#bg3 #Baldur's Gate 3 #Raphael #Neila blathers

[neilanuruodo]

I can't think of any specific question so this is your free "ramble about any fic or idea or character you want" card now!!

Thank you so much for the free license! (...and sorry I've been so slow to respond. I'm about 1/8th of a person trying to get by in life LOL)

I'm gonna take this as an opportunity to talk about the worldbuilding I've done more or less within Toril, specifically in creating a number of related illithid colonies that behave rather differently than others in the Underdark. It... started as one and just got a bit out of hand, as worldbuilding tends to do, heh.

It began with a trio of illithid OCs in a throuple and the colony that gave rise to them, and then I began thinking about how their colony might have come about in the first place and that turned into a fanfic featuring madness, tragedy, and Ilsensine's meddling. I haven't updated it in a little while but it's far from forgotten, and I have plans to work on it as soon as I clear out a few smaller ideas that are pestering me.

The ultimate aim for this story is to create a setting that people will be welcome to use in their own games or writing, either the specific colony and NPCs I've come up with or other colonies founded by this one that they can tailor to their own wishes. (And all with thanks to @tcfactory for putting the idea of a "wine aunt Elder Brain" into my mind in the first place. The ulitharid that becomes this particular Elder Brain ends up being one of the main characters in this fic eventually.)

The main point of view character is an illithid who has begun dabbling in the arcane, but before they are caught and made to flee for their life madness seizes the colony. They manage to protect themself with a spell, and then (along with a few other survivors and the help of a visiting ulitharid) they begin putting their lives back together, albeit in a new order. The other survivors are the priests of Ilsensine, and the fic is written from each of their perspectives in the form of records left behind, inscribed in the absence of an Elder Brain to hold their knowledge.

If this sounds interesting and up your alley, feel free to check it out, though I certainly won't be offended if you'd rather wait for actual updates or until it's finished.

And thanks again for the lovely ask!

#Neila blathers #my fanfiction #writing things #illithid #illithid oc #D&D worldbuilding #Ask and ye shall be answered

[neilanuruodo]

haha what if. what if I made Dror Ragzlin a romanceable NPC. what if I made him a recruitable companion. what then

#Dror Ragzlin #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #Hobgoblin #Really he should have been our Karlach replacement on evil route #Neila thirsts #Neila blathers

[neilanuruodo]

Editing fanfic is actually great because sometimes you come up with these absolute gems. Like earlier today I just mumbled to myself "I love Blurg so much holy fuck" and it's probably a window directly into Omeluum's mind too and I love that

#writing things #Blurg #Omeluum #Mushroom Husbands #Neila blathers

[neilanuruodo]

Fuckin Dror Ragzlin. Smug bastard. Gonna punch him in the face. Right in the mouth. With my mouth. Jerk. Gonna pull on his hair. See if he moans.

#Dror Ragzlin #hornyposting #Neila blathers

[neilanuruodo]

I say so much funny stuff and never share it here because giving the context for it is always some variation of

"so I was in my kitchen talking to myself and—"

#Neila blathers

[neilanuruodo]

Wyll's romance should get unbugged and shown comparable love to the rest

and

I like a different NPC and would have enjoyed them as romanceable option

are statements that can and should coexist.

Like I think it's a travesty that Wyll has so much less compared to the rest of the companions. I think it's indicative of some kind of societal bias against his character, perhaps due to some indelible physical characteristic. (Goodness, I wonder what might turn a certain type of person against him without their even giving him a chance...) But I promise you "I find X, Y, Z archetype hot and wish it was an option" isn't an attack on him.

Speaking for myself personally I don't enjoy sweet kind romantic characters. I like evil, twisted, cruel, messed up ones. I enjoy Wyll, but mostly from the "transformed into a devil against his will" angle and the "so rigidly lawful he becomes a dick toward the party's protector" angles, not the romantic dance and dashing gallantry ones. Sometimes people just like different things, and that's not wrong.

I feel like there's some assumption that everything people ask for is something they're going to get, which is honestly weird. It's definitely not the case. (If anything, it's weird and disappointing how much kowtowing Larian has done so far. I thought better of them.) But someone being like "This minor npc should be romanceable!!!!" isn't going to have any significant impact on the game. If you want to combat hate, not attacking your fellow fans is probably a great place to start. Also vote.

#Neila blathers

[neilanuruodo]

sometimes the writer experience is cackling madly while causing your readers emotional damage (builds character) and sometimes the writer experience is staring blankly after causing yourself emotional damage (also builds character)

the second one is extra funny because every time you see that bit (editing, rereading to get your place, etc) it's like "oh cool look, carved my heart out and slapped it down there on the page, nice" but it's still a good feeling in a weird way

#Neila blathers #writing things

[neilanuruodo]

Hey this is a really random question, but were you on the force.net circa 2006 with this username? Cause I was good friends with someone who went by Neila Nuruodo at the time!

I was! (This actually reminds me that a year or so ago I was feeling nostalgic and logged in, and was surprised with a "ten years" badge. I think I aged an entire decade in that moment, LOL.) I haven't been as active in Star Wars fandom since Disney took over and tossed out the EU, but Legends still holds a special place in my heart. (And my bookshelf, heh.)

#Neila blathers #Ask and ye shall be answered

[neilanuruodo]

no I didn't die I started reading a book. this happens sometimes.

also btw in case anyone was wondering the Enchanted Forest Chronicles (by Patricia C. Wrede) may be kids' books but they stand up really well even as an adult. Highly recommend. They feature dragons that choose their own sex once they're old enough and have a gender-neutral king, improper princesses and no-nonsense witches. They were so important to me as a kid who wasn't raised in a situation where questioning anything about my gender or sexuality was really allowed.

#Enchanted Forest #read a book #Neila blathers

[neilanuruodo]

Chuck Tingle said some very important stuff today. About being asked to take his mask off, which he wears not only for reasons of chronic pain but for his safety as an LGBTQ activist. It's a really good read and I encourage anyone with the time to sit down and read it.

It got me thinking about my current fixation because there's a very interesting parallel to be made, I hope, between the real and upsetting situation Chuck experienced and the way a certain segment of the Baldur's Gate 3 fandom treats t he Emperor...and its desire to wear a mask.

I hope it doesn't come across that I'm saying "oh these situations are the same!!" They really are not. One is a real person facing what sure looks an awful lot like discrimination and the other is a fictional character. But I value fiction highly for its role as a safe playground where we can interact with hurtful things without real people being hurt.

In a quick and dirty summary that does no true justice to Chuck's eloquence, he was invited to the Texas Library Association annual conference, then told he would need to remove his mask (which he wears not only to protect his identity but because, as an autistic person, masking causes him serious stress and chronic pain), and when his agent rightfully told them he would not remove his disability aid, he was disinvited. It's not only ableist but very rude to offer him a place, have him keep his schedule clear, and then change their minds. A small amount of research would have shown them he does not remove it in public appearances.

What the hell does that have to do with the Emperor? We first meet the Emperor in a guise it crafts to interface and work with the player character. A persona; a mask. Wearing this mask makes it comfortable, it makes it feel safe. It has every reason to fear violence directed at its person if the player becomes aware of who and what it is.

And, during the time while it wears this guise, it does not lead the player on, or make advances. (If your instinct is to say "oh but the robe it wears--don't. That's one step away from blaming sexual assault victims for wearing revealing clothing. Wearing showy clothing is NOT an invitation.) The option to give it a hug comes only after a perception check--it's trying to hide how weary and exhausted it is. It must be initiated by the player.

When its disguise is ripped away from it by circumstance, it is afraid. It is stressed out, uncertain what the player will do. It is forced to make all these explanations and justifications--exactly what it was trying to avoid in the first place. I firmly believe that, if the player had not had to enter the Astral Prism to save it (and themself) it would have kept its disguise up through the whole adventure, kept an emotional distance from the player character, and parted without ever removing its disguise. It sees you as comrades of chance, not bosom companions. Coworkers, essentially.

I had an illuminating conversation on Twitter about this, in fact. People have grown accustomed to invading other people's privacy, to seeing personal details of their life. They feel entitled to it. I think a decade or two of people sharing every minutia and photograph has led people to assume that those who don't share everything have something to hide.

But some people are just private. Some people find being in public situations intensely stressful. (I sure do! The mere thought of becoming famous stresses me out.) Yet these people will throw a fit if you don't share things that are none of their business. Will kick you out of events, or shut you out of jobs. These people would be upset at an LGBTQIA+ coworker not revealing "what they are" to them...even though it's none of their business. It's private. Yet they feel entitled to this information, and deceived if it's withheld.

I truly think that's what it comes down to. People want to know every detail of other people's lives because it's become normalized, yes, but also because they feel entitled to know if they're working with "one of those people." In a way, it's almost a good thing. More and more people feel safe enough to share their sexuality or gender identity. More and more people feel safe enough to explore whereas before they might never have let themselves question who they were. But it does have its downsides, and one of those is in the form of entitlement of others to know personal details of our lives.

I've seen a lot of weirdly vitriolic hate toward the Emperor. Like, the kind of murderous hate seen when the worst type of person is ""catfished."" And I'm sure that's a part of it; people making what they think will be the perfect character (dare I say it...woman?) to seduce, and then finding out it's an illithid. But the Emperor doesn't create this mask to seduce, only to survive. To get through this terrible situation without the party turning on or abandoning it. It's worth stepping back when you have this reaction to a character and considering why. Analyzing what assumptions you made, and what might have moved you to make them. This is the purpose of fiction. To get to know ourselves, and to see through the eyes of others.

And to write lots and lots of smut, of course. I think Chuck Tingle would agree with me there.

Read critically, friends. Fiction is supposed to make us feel, and sometimes it will make us feel uncomfortable. It's not a "bad thing" to be immediately rejected. Sometimes that's growth knocking on the door. Let it in. Ask yourself some uncomfortable questions. I promise, it's worth it at the end of the journey.

#love is real #the emperor bg3 #neila blathers #long post

[neilanuruodo]

you ever think about a book you like and haven't read in a minute, then get a sudden impending sense that you are going to be sucked into rereading it? Yeah...

#Neila blathers #In this case it's The Chosen Twelve by James Breakwell #Worth a read

[neilanuruodo]

I love using swype. My brain goes too fast to tap out the letters. Also it's satisfying. I like drawing a squiggle and getting a word. I like going too fast or being too imprecise and oops suddenly "friendship" has become "terminated"

#Neila blathers #Humor

[neilanuruodo]

oh no

I realized something about my taste in men.

big brown eyes. amusing hair. other people think they're annoying or forget entirely about their existence

#Nabriales #Voss #Neila blathers