#not even saying this in a self pitying way i just can't conceive of a dynamic like that

[tigerjpg]

nothing makes me go "ooooh we are NOT the same" quite like reading some post about how people talk with their parents about their interests. what do you mean you told your father about stevebucky. what do you mean he asked further questions

#i won a poetry contest years ago and not a single person in my family asked what it was about. you're an alien to me #not even saying this in a self pitying way i just can't conceive of a dynamic like that

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/747425743348400128/i-made-the-mistake-of-looking-up-xiran-jay-zhaos#notes

Shoulda looked up the twitter, that one's a seeming constant barrage of intensity, sprinkled with self-righteousness and the occasional hitting of completely random "nobodies" for nothing but pleasure it seems.

Also, "always had a bit of a bully personality" honestly, that's beautifully said ONTF. I stopped watching them at some point because something gave me a massive fucking ick in the way they carried themselves, and thinking it through it's exactly that. I was bullied in my youth, I fought back, and that helped, but the scars stay. XJZ seems to almost revel in it when they get to "call" someone out, with a lot of self righteous anger. They don't really seem able to conceive that they're wrong, or they way they say things could be bad in any way, everyone else is wrong.

When it's someone like CaiCor who is did something incredibly heinous, you don't notice it. But when you see how much they seem to love having their followers dogpile people for not agreeing with them or some other petty shit, (who can't handle it) it just gets perverse. Someone lying about your work, should not constitute making your thousands of followers potentially following and harassing that person. And I doubt XJZ doesn't understand it, and doesn't revel in the thought of it, with how often they've posted random tiny accounts and "complained" about them.

Persoanlly, I avoid their twitter like the plague, sans the last time this was a discussion+for this ask, and anyone in affiliated. Sure it's cut out a large chunk of writers who get affiliated through publishing marketing, which is a pity. But from experience, people who stand by a bully either don't care to be against it or might be bullies themselves. And if it takes an even bigger bully, like CaiCor to make the other bully look nicer or more righteous, then that still doesn't make you a good person.

--

[blondrichclosetwitch]

When there's nothing left to burn

You have to set yourself on fire

Everybody keeps on talking about it

The 6 o’clock alarm

“Well, that’s New York for ya.”

Sorry man, I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have looked at it

Come get your dog, it won’t leave me alone

Just remember it was me who found the lumps

I can’t get that sound you make out of my head

“In being when you go into being when you are present, you are above thoughts. Your dog is here below. It doesn’t mean the dog is not conscious but he doesn’t do thinking the way you do. The dog does not have an opinion about you or himself so the dog exists below and when you become present you rise above thoughts. and below the dog, is the tree and the plants. They are very deeply still connected with being. The tree is… There is a consciousness in the tree but it’s impossible for us to conceive of it. You can be sure it’s very slow, nobody knows how it is aware. It has no self-awareness. But the tree is even more peaceful than the dog. It’s been recognized in many ancient cultures. Because before they became so mind dominated they had a little more sensitivity towards energy fields that they could sense called sacred. Whereas modern humans. Once you have named something then the illusion arises that you know what it is. It covers up the deeper knowing when you can be with the tree and join with the tree become aware of that place of stillness in which the tree exists.”

I lay awake that night, listening to her breathing

Thinking how strange it would be if I awoke and she wasn't there

I made my bed I’ll lie in it

I made my bed I’ll die in it

Out of the ale house, down into the jail house

Come mama, come papa, and sit you down by me

Come sit you down by me and pity my case

Daddy, what else did you leave for me?

All in all, it was all just bricks in the wall

"Shame is soft," they say

Cum if you call my name

Lose if I play your game

That's how it starts:

We go back to your house

We check the charts

And start to figure it out

It comes apart the way it does in bad films

Except the parts when the moral kicks in

And if I'm sewn into submission I can still come home to this

You forgot what you meant when you read what you said

Miserere nobis

We arrived at number 11, So charged and ready for slavery

Now that the parachute has opened, well don't it make you feel good?

‘The kid's probably right.'

Like an accident on the side of the road

Are you sure you wanna find out? 'Cause once you know the truth, you might wish you'd walked away*(apparently that happened )

And I never saw him again

The facts and the fiction collide as the bodies untangle

Your magic cast a spell, it didn’t take long til we fell and we knew it

I’m sorry you saw that

I’m sorry he did it

Everyone else's lives are intertwined with yours and mine

And then I hear a voice say "don't look down!"

I’m on a wheel of fortune with a twist of fate

Come to your senses.

Captain Howdy's here but we can't see him

We can't see them

“Captain Howdy is from the exorcist. Before the girl gets possessed she shows her mom a Ouija board and says "Captain Howdy moves it" then she says something like "you can't see him".”

Here comes the woman with a look in her eye

Here come The World with the look in its eye

Future uncertain but certainly slight

Look at the faces listen to the bells

It's hard to believe we need a place called hell

The devil inside

The devil inside

Every single one of us

The devil inside

(This is the song of the day btw, which I found disturbing)

I don't wanna feel a thing when your hands close tight around my neck

And force the air that I breathe

I know that living with me baby was sometimes hard but I’m willing to give it another try (not sure who)

If your man isn’t the epitome of love and devotion

After all the alcohol, the pretty words have devolved down to slurs and drunken shouts

You never know what kind of fight's gonna appear that once begun can't be won

Wondering why happiness is so hard to find

Stare in shock at what you saw

Don’t you look back

Don’t take those sleeping pills

You’re a water sign

Could you get me some?

Back to the gypsy that I was

#today is a 15/6 #and that is all she wrote

[jjr1971]

I suppose this shouldn't surprise me but this particular anime title (and personal favorite show of mine) is really violently triggering a lot of online incels at the moment...the Japanese title is イジらないで、長瀞さん, Hepburn: Ijiranaide, Nagatoro-san; In English, it's known by the longer title Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro.  It's a new manga series (I'm current on it and have the next volume, #8, on pre-order when it releases in August) and it's basically a romantic comedy....it was even more recently picked up for an anime adaptation which is currently airing in Japan and streaming in the USA with subtitles on the Crunchyroll site/app.  I wouldn't be surprised if it gets picked up for an English dub & North American home video distribution eventually; it really is that good.

But it really is a very subtle show with complex emotions.  It's also kind of a role reversal story.  It's reminiscent of the earlier series Teasing Master Takagi-san (Japanese: からかい上手の高木さん, Hepburn: Karakai Jōzu no Takagi-san, lit. "Good at Teasing, Miss Takagi"), another romantic comedy set in Late Elementary/early Middle School...it features a very emotionally mature and smart girl who likes a boy but he hasn't matured at the same pace and still views her as a practical joker rival.  He's playing checkers and she's playing chess.  He keeps trying to one-up her and she easily parries him and makes him embarrassed.  But from the audience POV she's definitely flirting with him, he just can't perceive it. With Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro our characters are High Schoolers.  The main character (known only as "Senpai", a polite form of address for people older than you) is a shy, reclusive, sensitive artist type who wears glasses and keeps to himself.  He's a Junior in High School.  He's been the victim of actual bullies in the past (that we see via flashback) but just kept his head down and endured.  One day he's in the school library, trying to study and there's a group of first year girls socializing at a nearby table (Sophomores, technically.  Japanese High Schools have only grades 10-12; 9th graders are still in Middle School in Japan).  He resolves to just ignore them and try to study but clumsily knocks over his satchel, sending books & papers flying, including (*gasp*) the adventure/romance manga he's been drawing as a personal side project. The girls all look up, noticing the commotion.  One of the girls walks over to help pick up his things and to "Senpai's" horror notices the manga drawings and skims them.  The other girls leave but she stays behind and starts asking questions about the manga and its characters.  She begins to act out the scene he has drawn, playing the female protagonist.  She doesn't have a sword like the character so she does a karate kick and holds it.  He's kind of impressed but intimidated.  She critiques the story and offers suggestions.  She even teases him a little.  The next day she shows up in the Art Room, where "Senpai", who is a member of the Art Club, is working on a sketch drawing.  She's loud and obnoxious and resumes teasing him, getting on his nerves. She even follows him while he's walking home, laughing and teasing him playfully some more.  She claps his back a little too hard and sends him flying into the nearby canal.  But we can see from the regretful expression on her face she didn't mean to and feels bad about it.  And all the times she's around him and even when she's being very intense with her teasing, she's blushing red in the face the whole time.  She helps him out of the canal and apologizes and introduces herself.  He's tall and lanky and she's short & athletic and on the swim team.  She gazes up at him as she says her name syllable by syllable ("Na-Ga-To-Ro") and with one finger playfully traces the Kanji on his chest through his wet shirt, again with a playful look on her face and blushing. And so it goes for the next 7 volumes of the manga.  He tries to remain aloof & dignified, while she says loud & obnoxious but also playful and clearly the more emotionally immature of the two...so they're like a comedy duo of sorts.  He completely misreads her at first and has little fantasies predicting how she will be terrible next, but they never pan out.  He expects her to be obnoxious to other guys and terrorize them the way he feels a bit terrorized but....she doesn't.  To guys she doesn't like or have interest in, she's quite cold & cutting.  She reserves her "special treatment" only for her Senpai.   All this is a long introduction to make note that a lot of incels who are also into anime really REALLY don't understand this show....they complain bitterly that it "glorifies bullying" and reserve the most hateful language for Nagatoro herself, using all the usual hateful words for women (c-word, etc)...they really really hate her.  On the one hand, I would

love to see this series dubbed into English but on the other hand I feel bad for the online abuse any voice actress will inevitably suffer from lending her voice in English to this character someday.  A lot of these guys seemingly have a real issue separating fantasy from reality and will yell at voice actors when they're actually angry at the character they play.... Nagatoro does arguably cross the line into bullying territory initially, but like I said, she feels remorseful for pushing him into the canal.  Her friends are kind of dimwits and *are* themselves traditional bullies....but when THEY try to bully HER Senpai she gives them death stares and they back down.  She's very possessive of him.  In the manga especially, Nagatoro sometimes "gets out over her own skis" and winds up revealing her real feelings and getting embarrassed herself, overplaying her hand and getting little bits of come-uppance.  She sometimes blurts out her real desires then covers them up quickly with a dismissive joke....it's a little gas-lighty but I understand it's mainly a defense mechanism. What the incels who hate-watch this show can't conceive in their heads.....is that Nagatoro has genuine feelings for her Senpai.  She's not bullying him....she's flirting!  Aggressively and badly, sure, but it's not mean-spirited.  She even coyly suggests to him he should be bolder with her, she could make it worth his while.  In my past, I've dated a hyper-aggressive flirt who reminds me a lot of Nagatoro.  I just have a lot of empathy for both characters and wish them well.  Just like with the male protagonist Nishikata in Takagi-san the viewer feels like doing a loud "stage whisper" to him:  "psst!  she likes you, dummy."  There are a few moments here and there between the two of them that are so wholesome & sweet it makes me want to cry.  It's such a good show and it's so horribly misunderstood by a lot of very damaged people who are too blinded by their own misogyny and self-pity to see it. To sum up, Nagatoro wouldn't constantly hang around her Senpai and do the things she does if she didn't have genuine feelings for him....which she very plainly does. And by Ep.5 of the anime, it's clear he cares about her, too.

Anyway, I look forward to reading the next volume of the manga and finishing season 1 of the anime adaptation.  I would definitely watch it again if it gets an English dub release.

#don't toy with me miss nagatoro #ijiranaide nagatoro san #manga #anime #crunchyroll #romcom #high school #nerd #flirt