#of all places. thas how u know it’s bad 💀

[yellowanz]

guys I have like 7 quadrillion unfinished or barely even started art, writing, or other things I need to do help I’m like drowning in wips rn

and as for the writing I get like. Nothing done because I’m scared I’ll mess up bcuz I want my grammar, uniqueness, formatting, and spelling of the texts to be just right and on point and I will not accept any mistakes possible‼️‼️💥💥

moreover, with the art it’s like. Im too afraid to try anything new and I’m scared I might screw up so I leave it in my gallery to rot and collect dust. And then my style changes so I like, never touch it again 😇 y’all won’t believe how many art wips I have on every single device I own like DAMN‼️‼️ how did my gallery get to 1,228 so fast??

Lastly, I still have things to do with remembering things because every single second of my existence I feel as if I am forgetting something and it’s nagging me so bad. Like I don’t know what I’m forgetting but my dumb pink scrambled mess of a brain doesn’t know what it is 😻 also Im about to accept a commission (if I fully decide on it and I’m not sure yet bcuz I’m kinda disinterested… I might DM the person right now and ask them what they want so I can accept or decline just by what they want yk) and ooh boy ygs KNOW that shit is prolly gonna take me a month because of

1. the pressure,

and 2. I have too much on my hands.

but like. There’s also schoolwork, and now it’s past the first week of school so u know after everyone’s settled in in the first week it’s like. Im gonna have mountain piles of work next week so yk I’m not gonna be able to have no time besides this weekend so I’m making da most of it‼️‼️

wow I’m rambling now

anyways yeah I have way too many WIPs and I have problems. Help I have a chapter in my notes for my AO3 + Wattpad books and deadass have NOT even started it LMFAOOOO💥💥 like bro it has gone untouched and the only thing I wrote is da bland ass name 💀 im a mess

(guys I forgot to add this image so here u go 😁😁 im out here forgetting things 24/7)

#guys do I have something or is this normal #like I am drowning in my sea of wips #actually gurgling for air #literally my tiny little fingers barely touching the air outside the water of wips #and I am suffocating #that’s how many wips I have guys… #Anyways this is just me rambling HELP #anz's thoughts #wips #wip #rambling #Bro I even have like a bunch of drafts on tumblr #of all places. thas how u know it’s bad 💀

[starrshaddow]

I think mizu is pretty blunt and straightforward to the point it's easy to misunderstand her as being rude

If youre the kind of person that considers someone's tone and aligns it with what you think they think of you, then you'll probably think she straight up hates you the first time you met

I mean imagine being in a very social place (maybe school event.) and you know absolutely NO ONE but her. You dont know her either but you share one class with her and she seems pretty chill. You try to at least stick with someone you know in this very loud and crowded place. You strike a convo, a very casual but somewhat confident one at that.

"this much people is tiring to be around, right?"

And she just

Stares at you.

Dead faced stare, no emotion. nothing

And your heart sinks and you feel so embarrassed of yourself

You were too busy thinking about how she just ignored you that you didnt see her look away and kind of, slightly glance behind her for a sec

Turns out she thought u were talking to someone behind her 💀

mizu's def very awkward outside of conversations that can be professional, school related, or other people related (i mean if you ask her about how she knows this person, or that person)

she's not very well with small talk or talking abt herself?

"i think so."

When she spoke u feel reassured so u keep on trying to talk to her more, but the stuff she says are really limited. her voice pretty uninterested. It gave you the impression that you were bothering her. So eventually, you stop talking to her.

Then it was silent for a lil while,

"how about you?"

She spoke and you forgot what you were talking about before she spoke.

The music from the event and the group who was performing was so loud. Its hard to think

"what?"

Then she looks at you

Eyes blue and bright against the dark. Her face illuminated by the lights from the perfomance on the stage.

"why'd you come here even if you hate crowds?"

She's pretty

You will never deny that, as much as you will not say it out loud

___

I think when you left early, I think she walked with you.

You were both walking at the same path. You were both heading to the bus stop.

But when you got to the bus stop, she stops just a distance away from you.

"you ride the bus home too?"

"no." she places her hands in her trouser's pockets. "i just didnt want to stay there."

"oh."

Then its just awkward silence 😭

Istg the first to the five moments you shared with her, i believe she's super awkward. She does try to strike up a convo back but shes so bad at it that she ends up asking the most random things.

One time it was so random it made you laugh

And she thought you were mocking her and she looked kinda sad 😭 so you had to reassure her that you werent making fun of her and that her question was just super random it caught you off guard

you two meeting each other and spending time together in long period of time is rare. Even the class you shared together wasnt enough to hang out with her.

you didnt even know her name (you forgot)

"your name is mizu?" you said. The class was filled with chatter at the time since the professor wasnt there yet.

"Yours is (y/n), right?"

"yeah." then you smiled. "yours is prettier though. Suits you."

She looked confused for a sec, but nods.

She looked shy.

"thank you."

her voice was low. but she meant it.

But overtime, i think you two getting closer stemmed from when you didnt go to class for like a week?

She was wondering what happened to you. She wasnt even sure if she should check on you because, again, you guys share so little convo that she's not even sure if it was even enough to consider you as a friend and check up on you.

So i think she asked a friend of hers, probably ringo or akemi (her last resort was to ask taigen) if they knew you or share a class with you. but they all didnt.

So she waited for you to come to class.

Would glance at the door to see if you'd walk in.

you werent close to her

but despite tha she somewhat feels better when you're with her in the class, you know? You dont talk much but your presence is really comforting.

She has friends that check up on her a lot but there are times when they feel overwhelming.

Whatever awkward silence that eventually became comfortable silence between the two of you was something she missed while you were gone

And also the little convo you make. And her awkward ones (even tho being reminded of some of it make her stare at the wall and feel immense embarrassment)

It made her realize she'd actually like to get to know you more.

So when the door opened and you stepped in, dressed in that distinct fashion you usually wear, she felt relieved.

"you've been gone for a while."

you chuckled and place your stuff on the chair beside her.

"yeah. i got sick."

"do you feel better now?" she asked, genuinely concerned.

She definitely asked for your number that day. And she deeefinitely stared at your number when she got home, wondering if she should text you and ask if you got home safe.

I think mizu's wariness of trying to build/have more relationships (platonic or not) happened because of mik-(cant even type his name. He disgust me 😒). The fact she was so open to someone and shed all her walls for him just to be betrayed and forgotten like nothing transpired between them is traumatizing.

I like to think that mizu was on her maybe 1st year while he was at his fourth year. She was super naive and thought he was the nicest guy when all he did was give her the bare minimum 😔. I think she loved him enough to actually live with him (just the memory of it disgusts her). She lived far from the uni and she definitely has to commute long hours back and forth. So she thought it was a good idea to live with him (it wasnt).

Man, did that guy scar her so much she thought she wouldnt be able to finish her 1st year.

Anyways.

She did text you that day.

And she was more than surprised to see you texting her back almost immediately

I did! :D thanks for checking up on me. Hav u eaten dinner yet?

😭😭 I THINK MIZU FINDS YOU SUPER CUTE AND ENDEARING. LIKE YOU'RE A VERY SUPER WHOLESOME PERSON

You're just so?? Gentle and calm, it feels so reassuring and tranquil.

You feel like. this. Calming breeze of wind that soothes her

So she goes over her hesitancy of keeping and making relationships and starts pursuing you more, hoping to spend more time with you.

and when she did.. gosh.

You were a lot more than a gentle breeze, you were beaming with warmth as well.

She went out her way to check your schedule and compare it to hers. When she sees she have a vacant time, she goes to school to hang out with you

Say you have early classes while she doesnt even have classes that day? She'd wake up early to catch you on your morning break to eat outside with you.

It took you by surprise at first, but ofc you said yes

You just be sitting across from her, gazing out the window with her. You learned just now that Mizu likes the seats where she can see the outside. She's wearing a cozy loose sweater and her hair is tied up.

"what are the classes you're attending today?"

You see her purse her lips a bit and then she shakes her head. her little stray hair bouncing on her forehead.

"i dont have any classes."

What.

Your brain short circuited

She saw your confusion, but she looked at your hands which is now holding your burger too slanted that the ketchup is spilling on your palm.

So she gently took your hand in her own, which is much bigger than yours. She takes ahold of your hand so easy that it made your brain malfunction more.

"i said," she started as she took your burger away from your hands to wipe your palm with a tissue. "I have no classes today."

Then she held your hand, and looked you in the eyes.

"I just wanted to see you."

And so,

This was when YOU realized you were totally into her.

___

That made you so flustered that you couldnt forget it when you came home.

Your stomach feels so warm and you felt so giddy over that.

You know better not to get over yourself, but it was still something that you think about often.

After a few days, when you were on your way home after your last class

It was late at night

The moon was shining down

Then you see someone near the entrance of the building, tapping at their phone and seemingly busy.

you felt kinda scared and cautious. So you just speed walked out of there and walked even faster when you hear footsteps after you

"wait," they called after you. "(Y/n), wait!"

You stopped walking and turned to see Mizu catching up to you.

She has a small smile on her face when she finally caught up to you.

Then she laughed

She looked so carefree

"You sure do run fast even with those short legs."

she looks so nice when she smiles that it made you forget you were mad(?) at her for scaring you like that.

You frowned.

"You're just tall."

She walks up to you. Close enough that you can smell her perfume.

It's faint but strong. Of course she's the type to wear masculine perfumes.

"Hm." she said. "Can't hear you from up here."

You looked her in the eye and shuffled closer to her.

You can tell she tensed up a bit but her gaze remained on you, wondering what you will do.

You raised your hands near her face to pull her hood over her head and pull the drawstrings

"Shut up and go home. No way I'm walking with you now."

She still insisted on walking you home. Of course, you gave in.

Now you're standing and waiting for the bus.

"Won't you feel cold?" she said.

"It's not really cold out here." you said.

"I meant in the bus, on the way home. The uni is a bit far from your apartment, yeah?"

You thought for a moment, then you looked at her with a furrow in your brows.

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

Mizu didnt respond, she just has this knowing look on her face.

She shuffled a bit. You thought she was going to do something snarky, until realized she was taking off her hoodie.

She walked up to you and with her hoodie in her hands. She leaned close to fix it over your shoulder. She made sure it was hugging you snugly.

"tell me when you get home."

mizu walked you home that night and purposely wore a hoodie bcz she wanted to have a reason to have you borrow her clothes and see you in them.

She's totally showing you that she likes you but you don't realize it yet 😭😭

#mizu x reader