#of course thomas's poker face would be janus' job | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prodigal-sunlight · 4 years

Text

How to Make Friends and Influence Demons - Chapter 1

Pairings: Moceit Characters: Patton, Janus, Thomas Chapter warnings: Minor blood, generic demonic activity Word Count: 8,317

Summary:

Patton stood up, dusting off his hands and checking the book, still open on the counter. There were a couple steps he’d had to tweak. Just little things, like a circle of scorched tallow (he didn’t know what that was) or the bones of a martyr (he did not have any and did not want to.) But he’d baked enough to know how to make recipe substitutions, so he figured he could do something similar with a demon summoning.

Patton M. Sanders is as sweet as a cupcake and gentle as a kitten. So why on earth would he possibly summon a demon? That's exactly what Janus wonders when he appears in dinky apartment surrounded by scented candles and offered a piece of homemade cake. Surely he doesn't think selling his soul to a demon is going to make him friends.

Right?

Ao3 Link

It had taken a whole weekend, but the preparations were at last done, and Patton was prepared to summon a demon.

Patton hummed cheerfully as he set out the last unlit candle around the edges of the chalk summoning circle. He had a bad habit of impulse buying candles that smelled good or had cute names, so it was nice to finally have a use for all of them. The library book didn’t say the candles needed to be unscented, so he figured Butterscotch Kitten Morning wouldn’t be a problem.

He stood up, dusting off his hands and checking the book, still open on the counter. There were a couple steps he’d had to tweak. Just little things, like a circle of scorched tallow (he didn’t know what that was) or the bones of a martyr (he did not have any and did not want to.) But he’d baked enough to know how to make recipe substitutions, so he figured he could do something similar with a demon summoning.

Of course, he hadn’t just followed the book. He had a pot of coffee brewing, and a vanilla allergy-friendly cake cooling on the rack. Demonic or not, Patton figured that any guests needed a warm welcome. He was a bit worried that he didn’t have any tea to offer if the demon didn’t like coffee, but he’d have to make do without.

While he considered whether to add sprinkles to the cake now or to let the demon add their own sprinkles, his phone began to ring. Patton pushed his bangs out of his face, grabbing his phone out of his pocket and answering with a cheery, “Hello hello! Patton Sanders household, Patton speaking! Can I help you out there?”

“Hey Pat! It’s Thomas,” came the cheery response. Patton quickly pulled out a kitchen chair, sitting down with a smile to listen. “I wanted to call in to see how you’re doing!”

“Thomas! I’m doing great,” Patton said, glancing around the messy apartment. “Just so peachy! But what about you? How’ve you been kiddo?”

“Great! This campus is incredible, and I’ve made so many new friends. There’s these students named Jamaal and Talyn, and they’ve been showing me all the best places to hang out. I love it here!” Thomas said.

Patton’s heart sank a little. In less than three weeks, Thomas had made two new friends. Patton hadn’t made one single friend since he and Thomas had gotten an apartment, and that record hadn’t changed when Thomas left for school. He felt jealous, and he felt guilty for feeling jealous. He should be happy for his baby brother. “Well I’m real glad you’ve been settling in alright. Have you been eating well? Taking good care of yourself?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve been uh, all up on the home cooking and stuff! Totally not just getting pizza every week,” Thomas said sheepishly. “I’ll make good food once I’m caught up on homework and I get around to unpacking!”

“Promise?” Patton said, putting a hand on his hip and pouting. “Don’t make me march right on down there to cook and clean for you, mister!”

Thomas laughed, and hearing him so happy eased Patton’s worries a bit. “Alright, alright! I’ll take care of myself, I promise. So how have you been?”

“Well, I—“

There was the sound of someone shouting on the other end, and Thomas cut him off. “Oops, that’s Talyn! I forgot we had class. Sorry Pat, I’ve got to go! Catch up with you later!” Thomas hung up, and the phone went quiet.

Patton sighed, bowing his head. “Buh-bye Thomas,” he said, even though the call had already ended. “Have fun at class. Love you.” He set the phone down on the table and leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling.

He’d basically raised Thomas for the last few years. Between that and working two jobs, he’d been too busy to make friends or relax. Now, Thomas didn’t need him. That was bittersweet in and of itself, but it also meant that Patton had time to himself, and no one to share it with. After spending so many years worried about himself and his brother, Patton wasn’t even sure he knew how to make friends anymore. He tried, sure, but whenever he tried to greet someone he ended up tongue-tied and anxious.

Now that Thomas was all grown up, Patton was alone.

He shot off a quick text to Thomas, just a brief “Good luck!!!” with a string of heart emojis that looked far more cheerful that Patton felt. It’d probably be a few hours, or maybe all day before Thomas texted back. He was busy with college. He had a bright future. It wasn’t fair to hold him back.

Patton shook his head as if he could shake the bad thoughts right out. Thomas wasn’t the only one who was going to have an exciting new future. He put his phone away and stood up, stepping back into the kitchen proper.

He grabbed the box of matches he’d left out on the counter, kneeling down and striking a match. Slowly, he lit each of the colorful scented candles. They were all bright, and a few had cute patterns like flowers or puppy faces colored into the wax. The probably weren’t the right kind of candles for demon summoning, but they sure did smell nice. Once he’d lit the thirteenth and final candle, Patton blew out the match. He tossed it in the sink and washed the tiny smudges of ash that had fallen on his fingers.

Next, he picked up the library book in his left hand, trying to orient himself at the bottom of the circle, just outside the chalk and candles. Patton checked the instructions again. “Oh! A glass bowl, I almost forgot.”

He opened his cupboards and grabbed a tupperware bowl. It was transparent, so it was probably close enough, right? Figuring it’d do well enough, Patton leaned over to set it inside the chalk summoning circle, roughly in the middle.

Patton glanced at the library book again. “Okay, that’s pretty much everything! Looks close enough,” he said, feeling rather satisfied. Now the less fun part. He lifted his right hand to his mouth, biting down on the tip of his thumb. He flinched, but he tightened his grip until his skin just barely broke. He’d though this would be less scary than a knife, but maybe that wouldn’t have hurt as much. He leaned over, shaking his thumb until a few drops of blood fell from the tiny cut, into the tupperware bowl.

While he started reading the chant written in the book, he fumbled to wrap a spongebob bandaid around his thumb. “Okay… um, Bestias inferni, maledictus erit nomen tuum,” he read aloud. Suddenly, the kitchen lights flickered, then went out. Only the candles lit the room. A power outage?

By the candlelight, he could still make out the pages of the library book well enough to read. “Cadit regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in terris inferos.” The ground beneath Patton’s feet seemed to shake. The flames of the candles burned unnaturally bright, the color of their glow shifting from a fiery red to an unnatural, sickly yellow. Patton tried to keep his footing, tightening his grip on the book.

Patton swallowed the bile in his throat. “D–da hodie in servum vilem!” He said, his voice raising to a shout. The lines of chalk began to glow, shining with a golden light that pooled on the ground like a puddle of spilled water. As if a window had been thrown open, wind whipped through the tiny kitchen apartment.

“Et peccatis vestris daturum nobis, ut nos accipere debitum tuum,” Patton stammered, trying to rush through the last few lines. “Referte ad me, et libera me ad malum tentationis in unum.” The golden light burst outward, blindingly bright, so powerful Patton’s eyes burned even when he squeezed them shut. “Quia tuum est regnum et potestas et gloria in saecula… saeculorum!”

There was a burst of force, knocking the library book from Patton’s hands and knocking him to the ground. The intense light began to fade, and Patton sat up, rubbing his head with a whimper. “Ow…” His eyes slowly began to adjust, taking in his dim kitchen, the candles still faintly glowing. Had it not worked? But as his eyes finally cleared up, he could see a tall figure standing in the circle, right behind the tupperware bowl.

The figure was a tall, beautiful man, dressed in all black except for the simple yellow dress shirt beneath his cloak and the matching yellow band around his bowler hat. A pair of curled black horns sat on either side of his head just below the hat, framing his pale face. One cheek was marred in golden scales that shimmered in the candlelight. The man glanced about the kitchen with an unreadable poker face, any expressions hidden, but the sense of power and confidence utterly overwhelming.

“You,” the man said, looking down at Patton with a cold appraising stare. “Are you the mortal who summoned me to this place?” he asked, a faint hiss in his tone.

Patton quickly got to his feet, wiping his hands off on his hands. “Ah, sorry, didn’t mean to fall over! Yep, I’m Patton!” he said, trying to hide his mix of awe and terror. He hurried over to the cooling rack and got down the cake, slicing it into even portions. He set a hefty slice on a plate and grabbed a fork, putting them in the demon’s hands. “Eat as much as you like! It’s too much cake for two people anyway,” he encouraged, grabbing a slice for himself too.”

The demon opened his mouth to speak, but then the electric kettle began to beep, so Patton rushed over there. He poured the kettle into the two mugs he’d set out, looking over his shoulder at the demon. “Do you want sugar and cream in your coffee?” he asked, pouring a generous helping of sugar in his own mug.

The demon narrowed his eyes. “Why did you summon me here?” he said, taking a step towards Patton. “You do know what I am, don’t you?”

“Of course!” Patton said, setting down his mug. “But it seems rude to get right into that sort of thing. I thought we could have introductions and small talk over coffee! But if coffee isn’t your cup of tea—“

“No, give it here. No sugar,” the demon said quickly. Patton handed over the mug, then started blowing on his own coffee to cool it down. The demon didn’t wait, emptying the steaming hot mug in a few quick gulps. “Let’s get to business, mortal. I’m rather pressed for time.”

Patton grinned. “Pressed for time? Well don’t be bitter, it’d be better latte than never!”

The demon raised an eyebrow, a sly smile crossing his features. “Spill the beans. If you want my help, you must first ask for it.”

Patton set his mug down, hurrying over to pick up his library book. A few of the edges were burnt and crispy, but the cover and pages were in tact. Still, that would probably be a fine. He quickly opened the book back up to the page on demonic contracts. “Okay! So, it says when making a contract with a demon, you have to start by exchanging names! We can use them to call on each other so neither of us can just run out on the deal. I already told you I’m Patton. What can I call you?” he asked brightly.

The demon paused for a moment, then smirked. “You may call me Deceit,” he said.

“Is that your name?” Patton said curiously. “I thought demons had big fancy biblical names and stuff. Are you really called Deceit?”

“It is my professional title. It will allow you to call upon me, while still affording me a level of… privacy,” the demon said, folding his arms. “Does that suffice?”

Patton shrugged. “I mean, if it still works the same way, I can call you that! Or Dee, oh, that’d be cute! Can I call you Dee?” he asked brightly.

Deceit tilted his head to the side, as if considering Patton carefully. “You know, most people willing to summon servants of hell aren’t so cheerful and warm.” Amusement shone in his eyes. “So what sort of nasty secrets are you hiding?”

Patton frowned, not sure if he should be hurt of not by the question. “I don’t have evil secrets. I like to be honest with people! Besides, you didn’t answer my question,” he argued.

Deceit narrowed his eyes, his bemusement turning irritated. “No. I am not a little animal to be given a silly nickname. I will not be called ‘Dee.’”

“Awww,” Patton said, a bit disappointed. Well, maybe he could come up with a nickname Deceit would like? “Okay, well, the book says after names are traded, I should ask you to make an offer! So uh… make an offer please!”

The demon’s self-satisfied smirk returned, and he bent over so he and Patton could be eye-to-eye. “I can give you anything you desire. I can make you the most beautiful, most famous man in the world. You could be disgustingly wealthy, unspeakably powerful. I can give the reigns to any government of any nation, I can give you the power to fell armies, and I can give you enough gold to buy your own castle. Anything you wish, I can speak into existence. I can make you… a god.”

“No thanks! I don’t need that stuff,” Patton said, offering Deceit a friendly smile. “Okay, so, it says that the most common payments for demons are your soul, or the soul of your firstborn kid! I don’t think it’d be fair to sell somebody else’s soul, and I’m gay anyway, so the firstborn thing is off the table. So, my soul then?”

Deceit cocked his head to the side, eyeing Patton with fascination. “Awfully cavalier with giving up your soul. For most deals, that’s a bit of a… hard sell.”

Patton waved his hand dismissively. “If that’s the price you want, then I can work with it. It’d be worth it.” He tucked the book under his arm, grabbing his mug and slice of cake. “Do you want to continue this in my living room? It’s small, but we can sit on the couch instead of standing around?”

“Oh I would absolutely love too,” Deceit said. “Let me just follow you over there.”

“Okay!” Patton said brightly. He turned and walking into the living room, setting his mug and cake on the coffee table. He waited for a second, but Deceit didn’t follow. Patton frowned, poking his head back into the kitchen. “Hey, didn’t you say you were coming?”

Deceit, still standing within the circle of dirt, seemed unimpressed. “I was speaking sarcastically,” he said, motioning to the floor. “I can’t leave this circle until the deal is completed. Did your little book not mention that crucial detail?”

Patton’s cheeks burned pink. “Well, it probably did, but I just kinda skimmed the important bits! To be honest I didn’t expect to get this far anyway. I don’t really know anyone with demon summoning experience!”

Deceit glanced at the plate of cake in his hand, then at cartoon stickers on the fridge, then back at Patton himself. “Really?” he drawled “I never would have guessed, you do seem like such an expert on the matter.”

Patton pouted, crossing his arms. “Well you’ve probably never summoned a demon either mister pointy horns! Unless, uh, maybe that’s how demon’s talk to each other? Maybe. That’s not the point!” He paused, unsure of what exactly the point was. Maybe he really should have planned out this discussion a bit more than just summoning a demon and giving him cake and coffee.

“Now, I do love spending all day in urban nowhere, but I have a dentist’s appointment at five,” Deceit drawled, using his fork to cut his cake slice into bite-sized pieces. “You don’t want beauty, power, fame and wealth. Generally those are the ones mortals come to my sort for,” he said. “Is it immortality? It’s immortality isn’t it. We don’t do that anymore, Hell-wide policy. When their souls get collected their body still doesn’t die and honestly? It’s icky.”

“It’s not immortality!” Patton insisted. “Actually it’s… a people problem.”

Deceit nodded sagely, stabbing his fork into a bite of cake. “Ahhh, I see what you’re getting at. You want me to kill someone. Or make them fall in love with you. Or both, the night’s still young.”

“No!” Patton shouted, flustered at even the thought of getting someone killed. “That’d be awful, I’d never do that. I don’t want you hurting people or anything. I just… I want friends.”

Deceit’s eyebrows drew together, deep in thought. “Political friends?” he asked.

Patton shook his head. “No! Not like, big important political friends, or magic friends or anything. I already said I don’t care about power. I just want people who like me! People I can watch movies with and hang out with.”

Deceit began pacing the edge of the rather small summoning circle. “I could brainwash this entire city into wanting to be your closest friend,” he said.

Patton crossed his arms. “No brainwashing! I want real friends, the real way!”

“You’re kidding me, right?” Deceit said, rubbing his eyes. “Just go talk to other humans. Why in all the Hells would you summon a demon to help you make friends? What about my job description made you think I’d be any help?”

Patton puffed out his cheeks. “Well, you are kinda suave and cool! I dunno if it’s a demon thing or just you, but you could teach me that! Or just help me stay calm, so I don’t get nervous!”

“You are literally giving a demon your soul,” Deceit snapped. “At the end of the deal, your soul belongs to me. You’re going to be trapped in the underworld for eternity. And you’re agreeing to that so you can ‘hang out’ with some people?”

A moment of silent passed. Patton cleared his throat. “Okay well maybe it’s not the best way but I already tried a bunch of other stuff and this was the last thing I came up with.”

Deceit rolled his eyes, removing the silken glove from his right hand. “Fine. I don’t know why I’m trying to talk you out of it anyway. This is all the better for me. I help you find friends, and once you’ve had, say, five months being rather close, I claim your soul. Are you happy with that?”

Patton shrugged, offering his own freckly hand. “Sure! So long as they like me and I like them!” he said.

Unlike Patton, Deceit did, for a moment, hesitate. But then they joined hands and the pact was sealed. Patton winced, his palm burning beneath Deceit’s touch. When he pulled away, there was a faint white burn on his hand, a sigil in the shape of a two-headed snake.

“Now, I trust you did read the entirety of that book, including what happens after the pact is formed?” Deceit said, though his tone shared none of the certainty of his words.

Patton’s face burned with embarrassment. “Uh. You hang around and help me?” he said unhelpfully.

Deceit sighed, pulling the glove back over his hand. “More or less. If I am further that thirty feet away from you, I will be sent back to the underworld until you call on me again. You call on me by pressing my sigil and saying my name,” he said, motioning to the burn on Patton’s hand. “Whilst in public I can take a less… conspicuous form, in order to aid you without drawing unwanted attention. I cannot directly harm you or any other human while under this pact… though there’s nothing keeping me from more clever means of causing trouble.”

“Please don’t,” Patton said awkwardly.

Deceit flickered his long snake-like tongue at Patton, pouting. “Oh boo, don’t be a buzzkill. You’re the one who summoned a demon.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong about that.

But Patton wasn’t entirely clueless. He knew that trading his life for a few friends was a heavy price. He knew it was probably stupid, he knew Thomas would be so upset if he found out. He knew.

He had his reasons.

Patton was about to ask a few more questions about their new arrangements when a small buzz went off on his phone. He glanced at it, and his heart stuttered.

“Oh shoot! I didn’t realize it was Saturday!” he said, scrambling to throw plastic wrap over the cake and shove the demon-summoning book under his arm. “I’m so sorry!”

Deceit raised an eyebrow, watching Patton rush around the kitchen. “What exactly has you so worked up?”

“I forgot this book’s overdue at the library!” Patton said, grabbing his shoes and awkwardly trying to wiggle them on with his hands full. “I keep turning stuff in late, I don’t want the librarians to be mad at me!” “Is it really that time-sensitive?” Deceit said. “You can’t wait an hour?”

Patton shook his head. “If I wait I’ll forget, I always do! I’m so sorry, you can come with me! We can start on the whole friends thing!” Once both shoes were on, he sprinted to the apartment door. He glanced back, but Deceit wasn’t following. Was his sneaky form completely invisible?

“Come back here and let me out of the goddamn summoning circle, you unprofessional amateur!”

Oops.

Patton sprinted back to the kitchen, blowing out a few candles and kicking some of the salt circle aside. “Okay come on, there’s no time to lose!” he said, and immediately took off to the door again.

“It’s an overdue book, truly, the highest priority,” Deceit said, putting a hand over the door before Patton could unlock it. “Don’t go out yet. If I am going to accompany you, we can’t just walk out with me looking like… this,” he said, gesturing to his own face. “Hold out your hand.”

Patton paused, then held out his free hand, palm facing up. He shot Deceit a quizzical look, not entirely sure how this helped.

The demon’s bones began to shift beneath his skin, his eyes flashing and his form changed. It was oddly mesmerizing, but Patton decided it was also kind of gross to watch. And then—

Plop! A yellow corn snake appeared where Deceit had been, and dropped into Patton’s open hand.

Patton squealed in delight, his library rush briefly forgotten. “Oh my goodness! You’re so cute!” he cooed, gently stroking the tiny snake’s head with his finger. “Look at your little snake snoot!”

He could hear Deceit’s voice, though it sounded faint and muffled, like it was coming from inside his own skull. “Do continue patronizing me, certainly being non-venomous means I would never bite,” the demon grumbled. The little corn snake form of Deceit slowly slithered up his arm, settling in a pocket in the cardigan around his shoulders. “In here, I will be unseen. No one will know you are not alone.”

Not alone. The thought gave Patton a moment of pause, his usual smile gone for a brief moment. He shook his head, and faked a smile—fake it ’til you feel it. “C’mon Dee, let’s go make some friends.”

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders side #sanders side fic #moceit #moceit fic #patton sanders #deceit sanders #janus sanders

26 notes · View notes