#oh ***** you sang song that so well i breifly forgot how to spell the word orange

[angelicmemo]

Why! Cant! I! Be! In! Love!

#or better question why does my stupid brain and even STUPIDER heart go oh ***** youre so sweet and lovely and talented and wonderful and i #want to be around you all the time and when i talk to you i cant stop smiling and when you hold my hand or wink at me from across the room #i feel so weak i could just collapse #oh ***** you sang song that so well i breifly forgot how to spell the word orange #I SAJD THAT #TO HIS FACE #HIS STUPID PRETTY FACE #and i try and see other people and i try and distract myseld and i try and like anyone but him and it kinda works! horray! im having a nice #time with a dude who is really cool and funny and is JUST as cute and smiley #and then he turns round and doesnt want me either #what the fuck #and the older guy the one everyone keeps telling me is a creep for liking me as if i cant make my own fuckinf decisions #DOESNT EVEN LIKE ME #hes talking about some girl and some concert and how he 'hasnt felt like this since his fuckjng wife' and im just there in the corner #trying desperately to be okay i dont even LIKE him like that i just want someone to love me #literally anyone please i feel so helpless #and theres this giel #girl #and shes cute and we like the same shows and she likes ME but shes only 18 and she reminds me so much of me i cant do it #what the fuck is wrong with me what exactly makes me so unloveable #AND!!!! i live with my ex and his girlfriend how wonderful! a constant reminder that i will never be chosen #im fucking bisexual AND polyamorous my dating pool is as big as humanly possible and still im here #personal