#ohhhkay got a bit heated sorry

[moonysfavoritetoast]

i have to do i fucking presentation on my bad fucking henry ford essay (way too much info i already knew all that shit) and im not doing that shit fuck no because my goddamn voice is too high and people will laugh and fucking not shut up bc why is a girl called evan and and i cant even play my trumpet for a playing quiz what makes you think my fucking voice will work fucks sake im never going to need to know how to speak in front of a bunch of bitchy middle schoolers who will do nothing but laugh at my fucking appearance and voice i fucking hate school this shit is what made me relapse last time im going to fucking skip idc if i fucking fail i already am fuck you if you think im just okay with this dumbass shit

the suicide rates were so high yoiu put the fucking prevention hotline number on the back of every school issued id and you claim to want to help us then maybe make the goddamn curriculum more flexible i mean god fucking damn its like kids dont have fucking anxiety that nobody believes is real fuck off with your bullshit about caring about us you just want good test scores and good sports players shit like this is why i want to fucking kms

oh and god forbid i express these feelings in any way to trusted staff. they'll send me to counselling who will immediately call my parents which will get my phone taken because its obviously the goddamn phone making me feel this way. even if i tell them to not call my parents they will. and then my mom will go through my texts because shes worried about me and she'll cry and make me feel like shit when she was the one who started this. she'll find out everything. she'll take my binders away because i wear them too long and she'll never let me see friends again adn i'll be homeschooled again bc obviously school is too much.

she'll try to make me talk to her then she'll get mad and cry and yell when i try to say nothings wrong. she fucking hates me anyways. her backup child is fucking failing even though she was the firstborn. she knows her first daughter was the only chance she had at having a successful child because the other one has a shitty attention span and cant fucking spell anything. her baby girl is a fucking failure and she cant fucking accept im not her fucking baby girl anymore.

clearly i dont know what tired feels like. i sleep so much, why am i still tired? must be faking it. i dont know what depression is and i dont know what pain is. i dont know what anxiety is because i just want attention. she cant fucking accept the fact i'm clearly not neurotypical because i fucking have to be or she'll lose all goddamn hope she doesnt have for me.

nobody thinks somethings wrong and i fucking hate it. im the liar because "youre always so happy"

why would someone my age want to die?

fuck off.

#ohhhkay got a bit heated sorry #tw sh mention #tw relapse mention #tw suicide mention #sorry for that /gen #evan’s rambles #that fuck off isnt directed at anyone.

[imaginesandbandfiction]

Attention

An Outer Banks Imagine

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Masterlist

A/N: Based on this ask. It's short but I'm working on a smutty part 2 if anyone is interested ;)

“C’mon, Y/N, please?” Your best friend Sarah begs, pouting at you from across your bedroom.

“A Pogue party, though? Really?” You wrinkle your nose. Neutral territory boneyard parties were one thing, but the thought of crossing over to the other side of the island to drink shitty beer gave you the ick. Sarah widens her brown, puppy-dog eyes and gets up from your vanity to flop down on your bed next to you.

“Pretty please? Just this once, and if you hate it I’ll never bother you again.” You knew that was a lie, but you also didn’t have anything better to do, so you shrugged and sighed.

“Fine. But we’re bringing our own booze.” Sarah drowns you in squeals and flailing limbs, and you shove her off, giggling.

An hour later, you’re dressed and ready; properly fizzed up thanks to the bottle of Moet and Chandon you grabbed from the wine cellar in the basement.

When Sarah’s boyfriend pulls into the driveway, you put a stopper in the bottle and tuck it into your tote bag.

John B’s nice; you’ve met him a few times through Sarah, and you have to admit that he’s one charming motherfucker. He keeps you entertained with stories of his friends’ antics on the drive back to his house. You’ve heard about them from Sarah, but you don’t know much about them save for Kiara, who you used to go to school with, so it helps to give you an idea of what to expect from the night.

“Aaaaand this is JJ,” Sarah says, gesturing to the tall blonde boy on the right with a red solo cup in one hand and a lit joint in the other.

“Wassup, baby?” He says, slurring his words together a little bit. Sarah winces and turns to you. Her frown contains a thousand apologies.

“No, sorry, apparently, this is drunk, horny JJ.”

You feel your cheeks heat up—from embarrassment, yes. But also? He’s so fucking hot with that lazy, half-up-half-down grin. His lips are plush and pink except for the purple-black bruising tucked into the corner of his mouth, like he’d dodged a punch and almost got away with it.

“Drunk, horny JJ at your service.” JJ sticks the joint into his smirk and holds his now free hand out to you for a shake. You roll your eyes but take it anyway. He tightens his hand around yours, blue eyes glinting in the flickering firelight for one, two, three seconds before he ducks his head and brings your knuckles to his lips. “If there’s anything I can help you with, please let me know.”

“Ohhhkay, and Drunk, Horny JJ needs water. John B, will you take JJ inside and get him a glass?” Sarah turns her boyfriend and JJ lets your arm drop to your side, winking at you before he turns around to follow his friend.

Sarah’s apologies are wasted on you because the heat from your cheeks has migrated south and you’re too busy thinking about swallowing that smug smile to process what she’s saying.

#outer banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks fanfiction #obx #obx imagine #obx fanfiction #obx imagines #outer banks imagines #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank #routledge!reader #fluff #jj maybank fluff