#ok SO. Will. he’s defensive of Steve not Jon bc Steve helped save him from the UD

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

On the 15th, as promised! Ngl, I definitely almost forgot this. I have SO many feelings about this one, y’all check the tags if you want my ramblings. Buckle up. Also, happy stabbing Caesar day.

Part 1 | . . . | Part 64 | Part 65 | Part 66

Steve works his jaw, staring at Will. “Yeah,” he whispers. Will looks down. “Hey,” Steve says gently. “That’s not on you, okay? And Jonathan’s a really great guy. He and Nancy both had a lapse in judgement. They got together a while later and they were better for each other than she and I ever were.”

“But they hurt you.”

Steve chuckles. “In the moment, sure. But I’m fine now, I’ve moved on. It surprised me just now because I didn’t expect her to react like that. I know that’s not who she is as a person, and I’m sure as soon as Joyce talks to her about it and she’s had some time to think about it, she’ll come apologize. But none of that is on you, okay?”

Will shrugs, playing with the hem of his pants.

Steve glances at Eddie, who winks and plops down cross-legged next to Will, nudging their shoulders together. “My dad’s in jail.” Will looks up at him, surprised. Eddie shrugs. “I’ve had time to process, but it took me a while to realize he just isn’t a good person. Now, my momma was an angel among women, she just had a disease. It didn’t make her a bad person. But they’re my parents, so that must mean I’m a bad person with a disease, right?”

“No!” Will says emphatically. “Just because they-” he pauses, mouth a perfect circle, before flushing and ducking his head, smiling a little. “Okay. I get it.”

“Good kid,” Eddie says fondly, ruffling his hair. “Now, back to the planning?”

“Probably,” Steve nodded. “First things first, who wants out?”

“Papa hurt El?” Mike asks. Steve nods. “Then let’s kill this fucker.”

“Language,” say all the adults, and Mike rolls his eyes.

“I’m in,” Will adds.

“Me too,” Dustin says, and Lucas nods.

Steve looks around, and all the adults present nod at him. Robin squeezes his hand, and Alli pulls him closer to her by his shoulders. “Alright, little brother,” she says. He elbows her. “What’s the plan?”

Steve sighs and looks to El. “What do you think, Ellie?”

“Everyone else is dead,” she murmurs. “But if I go into the rainbow room, I will see them.”

Steve’s heart breaks. “You don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to.”

She smiles sadly at him. “You cannot promise me that, Steve.”

He meets Robin’s eyes above El’s head, watches her heart break. “Watch me.” He looks back to El. “I know what he put you through, El.”

“He loves me.”

Steve takes a breath, shuts his eyes for a moment. “Remember what I told you, last time you said that?”

El nods. “You thought the same thing about your parents.”

“Exactly. It took me a long time to learn, but they don’t love me. And there’s nothing I can do to change that. Even if I was perfect, that wouldn’t be enough for them. Does that make sense?”

She nods. “You love me differently from how Papa loves me.”

“Yeah,” Steve whispers. “Which do you like better?”

“Yours.”

“Do you know why?”

She thinks about it for a minute. “You love me because you see Ellie. He loves me because he sees Eleven.”

Next to him, Alli makes a broken sound. Steve reaches back to hold her hand. “Yeah, Ellie. That’s exactly right.”

“I do not want to only be Eleven anymore,” she decides. “I want to be Ellie.”

“And that’s why I’ll do all of it myself if I have to,” Steve tells her. “So you can be Ellie. You don’t have to go in the rainbow room, okay?”

“Okay,” she nods, wiggling around until she can bury her face in his neck and whisper, “I trust you.”

He blinks quickly. “I’m glad,” he whispers back.

“Ellie,” Wayne says, voice not much steadier than Steve’s. She shifts to look at him from where she’s tucked into Steve. “We all want you t’be just Ellie if you want it. We’re all gonna be right there with you.”

“Thank you,” she says quietly. “Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“I won’t be strong enough. If I see Papa.”

“That won’t be a problem,” Hopper says, checking his gun. She shifts to look at him. “He’s not going to hurt you again.”

She frowns and buries her face back in Steve’s neck. “I’m happy,” she murmurs. “But I’m also very sad.”

Steve sighs and hugs her tightly. “I know how you feel.”

“I don’t like feeling this way.”

“I know, El. I don’t think there’s really any way to get rid of the feeling, though.”

“Just life,” Alli says quietly, scooting closer and laying a comforting hand on El’s upper arm. “I know it’s a cliché, but it’s true.”

El looks up at Alli. “Okay. What’s a cliché?”

Alli meets Steve’s eyes, a smile starting to spread, and Steve thinks everything’s going to be okay.

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#stranger things #if I should stay #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #robin buckley #Allison Harrington #el hopper #will Byers #ok SO. Will. he’s defensive of Steve not Jon bc Steve helped save him from the UD #this is very near and dear to my heart #also EL #WANTING TO BE ELLIE #NOT ELEVEN #YALL I CRIED WRITING THIS #I BROKE MY HEART EDITING IT #this is the singular best character study I have EVER done #I am. SO in love with her jfc #If Steve had a mean bone in his body THIS would be his villain origin story #fix it #fix it fic #time travel #time travel fic #time travel fix it #time travel fix it fic #starambles