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#or go somewhere that isn't the ONE LAYER THAT HAS SOMEONE TRYING TI SLEEP ON IT
acanthyme · 1 month
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I curse whoever made my house for making the insulation so old and fragile and the walls so thin that i have to hear everything on the other side of my wall that i share with my sister so fucking loudly. Doesn't help her bed is right against that wall. They talk so loud. and her partner IS FUCKING SOBBINNG AND WAILING AS I TYPE THIS FUCK OFF DUDE. other people live here !!!!!!!!!!! like i know i have sensitive hearing that hears the most quiet noises like electricity and bottles that r carbonated but it's still loud !!!!! .... my insomnia and anxiety has been even worse since he's basically fucking moved in out of nowhere, and now all hours of my day are a nightmare as a result. talking at night while i try to hang out with my boyfie and relax, or even just do my own thing. i can't. my anxiety's through the roof having to listen to what might be going on. daytime hours when im supposed to be asleep? he's crying or arguing or making some other fucking noise.
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demonsandmischief · 3 years
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Our Moment Finale
Marvel - A Captain America Fairytale AU
King! Steve Rogers x Female Reader
1.8K Words
Here's Pt 1 and Pt 2
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-Part 3-
the conclusion
----
You didn't waste anytime getting home, collapsing onto your bed with a sob that you muffled with your palm. It seemed nothing good could ever truly be yours.
You glanced around the small attic space with blurry tears. The house was supposed to be for you. Your father had left it in your name, yet your step-mother was able to work her way around that.
It was the only reason you stuck around, the only reason you put up with all of it. You were over it.
Peaches was the only thing that you felt a connection to. Your father adored her, and you were honored that you got to bond with her.
You made up your mind. It was time to move on. You dried that last of your tears and began packing a bag. You carefully folded your mother's dress and put it back in the box you got it from. One day when the memories weren't as painful, you would come back for it.
You wished things could be different with your life, but mostly with Steve. You should have known better than to get tied up with the king. It was too good to be true. You felt you had done everything you could to win over his trust, but obviously not enough.
You strapped your bag to your horse. The next town was about a days ride, and you could figure out where to go from there.
---
Steve didn't hesitate to saddle his own horse as quickly as possible. He had to go after you - had to explain. He couldn't lose you. You were the only good thing to ever happen to him.
He stalled in his tracks. Explain what exactly? That his biggest fear was being used and never being loved? He shook his head.
"My king, where are you off to?" a guard asked confused.
"I have to leave."
"But the ball-"
"Tell the court I will explain when I get back."
"Wait, you can't leave without someone going with you."
Steve was already racing down the path, his heart racing along with it.
"There's no time for that," he called. He could take care of himself.
He thought of you as he followed the familiar trail. He thought of the first day you met, and all of the moments thereafter. You always made time for him, always listened to what he had to say. You were attentive and doting.
He had screwed up.
The trail became less familiar. He didn't know where he was going, or how he would find you. He swallowed down the panic. He couldn't lose you. It was a constant circling thought.
Eventually the trail ended and he slowed to a trot. He saw a house up ahead, and a royal carriage in front of it.
He slowed, finding Sam speaking to a guard.
"What are you doing here and how did you get here so fast?" Steve asked.
Sam took his horse's reins. "I know something has been up with you lately, but you can explain later. The lady you talked to at the ball is in the house."
Your step-mother. He had some words for her, but first he needed you.
"Thank you, Sam. I owe you," Steve said, heading for the door.
"Your highness, it's a pleasure to have you in our home-"
"Don't act like I don't know what is going on," he said, cutting her off. "I will deal with you later. Is she here? Where is her room?"
The lady paled even beneath the layers of powder on her cheek.
"S-She's not-" she swallowed at Steve's fierce look, before gathering her wits. "My king, she's not here. She's hardly ever here. I'll show you where she prefers to spend her time."
Steve followed her down a hallway to a door with a winding staircase. She guided him up and into the small room at the top. The ceilings were so low that he had to scrunch his shoulders.
He took in the space, feeling upset at your living conditions.
"Leave me," he demanded, unable to look away from the small bed in the corner, one that contained a single blanket and a pillow, folded neatly on the end.
The step-mother was right. It looked like someone hardly lived here, except there was a freshly cut flower on the windowsill, soaking in the low, dusty light. And the books you had borrowed from his own library sat tucked by the bed. Most importantly, the beautiful dress that he never got to say anything to you about was hanging from the sides of a box under the bed. You must have been in a haste to leave.
He frowned, bending down to pick up a folded piece of paper. Were those the things you did by yourself? What had you gone through?
Steve cursed. He wished he could have started the night over. He wished that he had gone through his original plan instead of being sucked into his own insecurities.
"Where would she have gone?" he asked impatiently to the lady who was lounging on her couch.
"If she isn't in the barn with that horse, I have no clue."
There was no sign of a horse or you. He closed his eyes, feeling the anxiety creeping in and swallowing him whole. It was dark and late, and you were somewhere all alone. It was all his fault.
"She might know someone in the next town over," Sam suggested. "We could head over tomorrow."
"That's a days journey. I'll start the route tonight."
"You're exhausted, Steve," he protested.
"Just in case," his words dropped to a hoarse whisper, his mind plunged into the darkest corners.
Sam nodded. "We will catch up with you tomorrow then. Be safe."
He nodded, already going down the dark path, his heart thudding loud in his ears.
---
You were taking a break and letting Peaches rest. The fire you built was warm and soothing on your stiff limbs. Even after the incident in the woods a while back, it didn't scare you to be out alone. The stars and the moon made it seem as though you could feel your parents, and you enjoyed the sentiment, especially after the day you had.
You rested your head on your hand, your eyes fluttering closed. They were dry and sticky from the tears that had fallen.
You gave a shuddering hiccup, unable to give into the heartbreak anymore. You were cried out. Beyond upset - a numbness covered your whole body like a scab on a wound.
You jolted, hearing steps near you and you staggered quickly to your feet.
"Thank god you're alright," Steve said, rushing towards you. He pulled you tight into his embrace, and it took everything in you not to hug him back.
"What are you doing here, your highness?" you asked confused, trying to pull away. He didn't let go, only eased back so his hand remained on your shoulders.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I believed her over you. I'm sorry that it took me so long to come after you. I'm sorry for everything," he said the words so sincerely that tears filled your eyes for the millionth time tonight. He caressed you cheek, using the pad of his thumb to dry a fallen drop. "And it's just Steve to you."
"But you still did it," you whispered, voice thick with tears. "You don't trust me."
"I do trust you," he said earnestly. "and I care about you. It has been a long time since I shared those emotions with anyone."
"It doesn't matter," you successfully pull away. His hands drop dejectedly to his side. "You're a king, and I'm me. It would have never worked out."
It was quiet a moment. "Why didn't you tell me what you were going through at home?"
You sat down and Steve followed. "I didn't want you to think I was using you. I guess we both have our own insecurities."
He looked into the dimming flames of the fire. "Insecurities or not, I shouldn't have accused. I'm sorry I hurt you."
He waited, but you said nothing. "We're both exhausted and need sleep. Why don't we head back?" He stood, holding out his hand to you.
You shook your head, "I'm not going back."
He paused, fully expecting that response, but it still took him aback. He definitely wasn't going to leave you alone in the middle of nowhere though.
"Okay," he nodded, heading to his horse.
You frowned.
He turned with a blanket, draping it over you, before tending to the fire. Finally, he sat next to you with a sigh. His body was pressed against yours and you couldn't help but sag in relief at the support.
"You can't stay. You have to get back," you protested.
"Shh," he eased, kissing your forehead ever so softly. "Sleep a bit and then we will talk."
---
Gentle light breaking through the trees awoke you from your slumber. You shivered from the damp cold, curling closer to the source of warmth beneath you. Your eyes fluttered and you realized you were practically laying on top of Steve.
You called his name, shaking him gently.
"We fell asleep," you told him with a yawn, falling back onto his chest. It was the best sleep you ever had.
He hummed, wrapping his arm around your waist.
"I'm sorry. You must be freezing," he said coming to, easing the both of you up. Your cheeks heated and you moved to get off of his lap.
He adjusted the blanket so it was pulled tight over your shoulders.
"Come back with me, please," he whispered, turning your chin to look at him. "You can stay with me. I just want to be with you."
"You want me to stay with you?" you asked.
"We could get married in the summer," he grinned, the first genuine smile you had seen in a while.
"Married?" you asked, biting back a smile.
He nodded eagerly. "I'm falling in love with you."
---
Epilogue:
"Come on," Steve encouraged, pulling you eagerly down the hall to your favorite room in the palace.
Things were working out good, really good, between the two of you.
"What are we doing?"
"Close your eyes," he smiled, taking his large warm hands and covering them for you.
He pulled them off with an exaggerated ta-da, revealing a new shelf next to his in the library.
"Now you have your own spot for all of your favorites."
"Thank you," you smiled, leaning up to kiss him. "I love it. I love you."
And they lived happily ever after.
---
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alfouxxiv · 3 years
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Layers to a Damned Man
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one: outside layer
[Name:] “Alfoux...Rovat”
[Hair Style & colour:] “It’s hazel maybe more brown? I don't really know. when I was young...I used to have short hair. But as I grew older, it has become rather long. I keep it tied back when the need for a helmet arises.”
[Eye Color:] “Amber from what I’ve told, though. I assume it could be taken as any colour of that nature.”
[Height:] “I’m tall, I tower over most and very few tower over me. It is a blessing and a curse.”
[Style:] “I’m not one for style and trends but. I was raised to be fancy. To know the right fork to use and to say please and thank you, and it stuck. But I’m far from the term ‘fancy’ as many have said to me countless times before, I am rough around the edges. What else are you going to get, when you take a brume kid out of the brume and into the lap of the houses upon high.”
“I am rough, jaded and scared. I have seen what this world has to give and it has laid its mark to bare upon me. So yes, I am rough around the edges. I’m abrasive, cold in nature. So my style if you must put a thing to it, tends to lean towards such. I own nothing other than my armour on my back, everything that had ‘style’ was stripped from me.”
[Best Physical Feature:] “My hands or eyes, it is one thing many compliment me on. I have no idea what they mean however. Some have also said my jaw line is a nice feature, or my chest... Though those who say my chest is my best feature, are more likely saying that to further their motives of romantic intent which is not something I’m looking for.”
“I myself don't see a best feature, nor even a good feature. It is just a body, or maybe I just don't have the best confidence in myself hm?”
two: inner layer
[Fears:] “All of my fears have come to fruition. All I ever wanted was a home, and not have it stripped from me. But here we are, my life was a lie and those who said they loved me? a lie.” 
[Guilty Pleasure:] “The things I enjoy, though very few they are. I do not find guilt in them. I enjoy reading bad romance novels...and I enjoy them, and there is no shame in that.”
[Biggest Pet Peeve:] “People, speaking of those who believe that our great nation is in fact great, because it is far from it. Our land is flawed and blinded by lies, feed to them from who was once in control. Our world is changing and those who do change with it? well, they will be left in the dust of those willing to move for a brighter future....if that is even something we can come to.”
[Ambition for the Future:] “In the long term I guess it would be to fix the mess my ‘family’ made, in the short term? I wish to die. So we will see which comes first.”
three: thoughts
[First Thought When Waking Up:] “Oh grand I am still alive, oh what a fantastic thing to happen.”
[What You Think About the Most:] “Money I guess, I don't have a single gil to my name. So it tends to be about money or when the next job will come by.”
[What You Think About Before Bed:] “I’m either to drunk off my ass to even think, or if I’m not its thinking of another night were I don't sleep.”
[Your Best Quality Is:] “I have no idea, I am a man of very little good qualities. I am sure someone would say otherwise but as this is me talking? I have none.”
four: what’s better
[Single or Group Dates?] “I have never been on a date, I never had the time for such things or ever felt a bond with someone, to ever do such a thing.”
[To be Loved or to be Respected?] “In my heart, it cries out for love? and my mind pains for respect. In days gone by I used to think I had both, but now I know that ‘love’ was a lie. And that ‘respect’? fear. So truly? I have no idea what is better, for I truthfully know what those feel like.”
[Beauty or Brains?] “I am more inclined to lean towards brains. Not saying that beauty isn't a bad thing, because it isn't. I am just more inclined to drift towards those who are, of a more intelligent inclination...though I'm not saying those who are beautiful cant be smart because they can be. They are I....yeah...”
[Cats or Dogs?] “Cats, I have had the pleasure of living with many in my younger years. All thanks to a certain templar. Though I do preferer cats over dogs, that doesn’t mean I don't like dogs. I just enjoy the company of cats more.” 
four: do you...
[Lie?] “My job was to lie, to preach a lie and to enact a lie. So yes I have lied. Do I still lie? truthfully it is to myself nearly on a daily basis but to others I try to be more. Up front.” 
[Believe in Yourself?] “In days gone by yes, I believed I could do nearly anything, within reason. But now? no...”
[Believe in Love?] “No, not anymore.”
[Want Someone?] “I want to be left alone, yet for some reason people keep bothering me. So no. I don't want anyone.”
six: have you ever...
[Been on Stage?] “I have not, though I have watched many a play when I was younger. They were rather enjoyable at the time. But I had no intention of joining them.”
[Done Drugs?] “I have not no, unless you count smoking as a drug? though it is just tabaco.”
[Changed Yourself to Fit In Somewhere?] “Amusing. I’m a brume kid living a house upon high, so what do you think?”
seven: favorite
[Favorite Color:] “I have never really given it much thought. Though my armours have always been on the darker side, I did have a blue set for ceremonies or other such special occasions. So maybe blue? again I have never given it much thought...”
[Favorite Food:] “When I was younger Otix used to make these cream cheese and liver sandwiches, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I still do enjoy them, though now that I’m older I can make them myself. Other than that? I don't really have a preference.”
[Favorite Game:] “I never had the time for games growing up, with education, sword training and fencing and other duties. I never had much free time, so whenever I rarely did have time to myself I just read a book.”
eight: age
[When Your Next Birthday Will Be:] “I cant remember for the life of me when my name day is, and to be honest at my age I could careless for the day.”
[How Old Will You Be?] “I think I’m 36? or am I older? I cant remember.”
[Age You Lost Your Virginity:] “who cares, it is not something I wish to divulge to anyone.”
[Does Age Matter?] “I wouldn’t wish to see someone that hasn't even seen their 12th summer in a combat situation if that's what you mean. I have seen many younger people die under the hands, of people who were no where near the front of battle. But if you’re referring to someone younger dating someone older? well that all depends does it not? if it is someone far older praying on someone who shouldn't even be thinking of such a thing, then well that person will happily meet the end of my sword.”
nine: in a partner
[Best Personality:] “Someone who is kind I assume, I haven’t given it much thought seeing as, I have never met someone who I have grown a connection of that type with.”
[Best Eye Colour:] “Does it really matter? Are there really people out there who specifically court those with a specific eye colour.....”
[Best Hair Colour:] “It’s hair who cares, doesn't matter what colour is it.”
[Best Thing to do With a Partner:] “Again, I have never given thoughts like these much time. Maybe that is very telling of my nature. But if I must pick something, than maybe...maybe it would be nice to cook with someone. Maybe even quietly read with them, or go fishing...”
ten: finish the sentence
[I Love...] “To be. Left. Alone.”
[I Feel...] “Empty...”
[I Hide...] “Everything. I am not want to show my hand at the first or even second meeting.”
[I Miss...] “...”
[I Wish...] “I wish I was never adopted, to be left to have that life grow into something that wasn't built on a lie and cursed to live...”
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Tagged by: @yafaemi thank you fren so it took so long!!!
Tagging: @ffxivtribehydrae | @kich-rp | @grumpy-limsan-customs-cat | @zinniane | @m-iasma​ | @bjarkan​ | @wilderkind​ | @faustinebellamy | @aethersmoke-and-ash ​ | @violetcuriosity​ | @lady-iseterre​ | And anyone else who wants to do it!!
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