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#or that i need too much accommodation!!!!!!!! they go ‘um im neurodivergent and its really not a big deal to me’ then why are you
p2iimon · 1 year
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actually i think i get to decide what words mean. you all lost your privileges
#‘actually words can mean different things in different contexts’ SHUT UP#im so sick of people going ‘oh yeah i do that too lol’ bc all the words that came with my autism have been watered down to mean NOTHING#MASKING is the new one!!!!!!!!! ppl are telling em theyre masking at work!!!!!!!!! can you just use a different word?????#‘well it may be useful-‘ okay but they literally do not know what the word actuwlly means. they think it means when they act different#if i stopped masking you guys wouldnt LIKE ME#you guys would think i was offputting and uncomfortable to be around!!!!!!! i hate all of you!!!!!!#im genuinely so sick and tired of people going ‘erm i think im autistic’ and then turning around and saying IM BEING TOO WEIRD#or that i need too much accommodation!!!!!!!! they go ‘um im neurodivergent and its really not a big deal to me’ then why are you#even using terms like that. why are you spending time self diagnosing if you dont need anything. if it doesnt help you. is it just to be in#a group????? it it just to say ‘oh sorry im being an ass bc i have autism and it does nothing but make me mean sometimes 🥺’#im making everyone take a written test on what words mean currently before they can start expanding on them into their own situation#like ‘is this an appropriate use of this term or is this downplaying the experiences of certain people’#or ‘does that even actually apply or are you just wanting it to’#or ‘is that even what the phrase means or are you just using word association’#ugh#rant >:(#simons spouting
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elliot-orion · 3 years
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1-5! :)
Pretty sure this was from the deep dive asks a while back., sorry for it taking so long! i just didn't have a project to work on, but I do now!! I’ll be answering for the White Lake (temp title) characters, Logan, Nellie, and Charlie.  Thank you so much! 
1. Who are two characters that don’t like each other? What do they reveal about each other to the readers? Will they ever learn to put aside their differences?
Logan and Nellie have a bunch of tension at first, honestly. Logan is stubborn, but Nellie is more so, and both want opposite things. They also have a weird initial dynamic of “we were like... friend adjacent in high school, haven't talked to each other since, so we feel like we know the other but we’ve really barely exchanged a few words outside of class projects.” They were both the school weirdos and stuck together out of necessity, not real friendship, even tho both consider the other a friend even tho they really aren’t, so it leads to a lot of ‘i think you are this way but you arent behaving this way, why the hell wont you behave this way??” bc of the other like... placing what they want the other to be like onto them. if that makes even a lick of sense. I guess it all reveals what they want in a friend to the reader, bc they assume the other to be their Ideal Friend since they have nothing to confirm nor deny that. But its more of a ‘what you want versus what you need’ thing. Nellie wants someone who will listen to her and let her protect them without asking questions bc not listening and asking too many questions that nell couldn't answer got her one actual friend killed. Logan wants someone who just accepts his weirdness and doesn't try to push him. But Nell is pushy when she thinks she’s right (and tbh she usually is), and Logan is curious, and its a mess at first. They do put aside their differences tho. Nell is determined as hell and she realized at some point that she needs to work with Logan to keep him safe, and Logan learns that he needs to teach Nell how to accommodate his autism (that he doesn't know is autism because his parents suck) because she has no idea and just thinks he’s being difficult and has to meet her halfway too. Its messy but they work it out and become way way better friends because of it.
2. What do you hope readers will take away from your WIP? Is there an intentional theme (or themes) to the story?
I mean there’s not an intentional theme to it. I definitely want people to be unsettled and a little freaked out, I am intending it to be like... romantic era horror level horror book, if that makes sense. more atmospheric and eerie then ‘im actually going scream I'm so afraid’ horror. But also themes of friendship maybe? idk I haven't decided if there will be romance yet but definitely friendship and found family stuff.
3. What do you love most about your protagonist? (It can be something you’d admire in them if they were real, or something interesting about them as a character.)
Oh jeez. I love how determined Nell is to protect Logan. She doesn't always do it right, because misunderstandings and her idea of safe is different than his idea of happy and she needs to learn that he might be safer with her way but he’d be miserable. She just loves her people so much and she’s determined not to fail again, but its all coming from a place of deep love and I really admire how much she’s willing to put into keeping her family together. For Logan I admire how strong he is honestly. He lives in a really conservative, ableist town with parents who think he's just being difficult when its not his fault he's neurodivergent, but he knows who he is and what he needs and even when Nell is trying to push her beliefs about him onto him he stands strong in who he is. He knows he’s not wrong. He’s just lonely because no one else knows that. Its really admirable in my opinion (maybe because I've never been able to do that with my neurodivergencies and I'm definitely projecting but whateverrrrrrr). He’s also a really good friend, he’s just not given many chances to be that. As for Charlie I just love how happy they are. They try so hard to get Nell and Logan to get along, and they are always smiling even when they are the one who has the most reasons to be miserable (considering they did you know. die horrifically and are now trapped by an eldrich lake)They are always pushing themself to make others happy, even at their own expense, and while its not a trait I admire, it is one that I love in characters because I just love the hurt comfort when they break :3 also they are just fun as hell and I love my little extrovert cinnamon roll (who is way more devious than they seem but thats what happens when you basically grow up and then spend about 130 years with a ghost circus)
4. Is there anything in the story that is implied, but not directly stated? Will this become more relevant later on? How perceptive would a reader have to be to pick up on this?
A lot of the lake stuff is implied at first, and there's a big misdirect, but it gets cleared up after just a bit so I don't think it counts. Um... idk ok I haven't even written draft one yet so idk what will be implied vs told I'm a pantser I've got about 6 plot point checkpoints and a vague idea of progression here most of this is being bs-ed. Im not even sure yet if I'm making Logan a trans guy or if there will be romance or anyone’s sexualities besides Nellie (who is v much a lesbian) I’ll get back to you on this. Although wait actually - Logan never gets his autism diagnosed, I know that, so that is implied but it's like. heavily implied so you won't have to be super perceptive to figure it out. I’m not doing any -coded stuff, he is, he just lives in a shitty town with no therapists for anyone to talk to. kinda hard to go to a therapist not from town and go ‘yea my best friends are ghosts, my town is actively trying to kill me, sorry im late the road disappeared how are you today?’ you feel? no one in this town gets any goddamn therapy. But its not explicit no. 
5. Which character has the most intricate backstory? Is this backstory common knowledge from the start, or is it revealed later on? How does this backstory affect the narrative?
Oh man uh... I guess Charlie has the most intricate backstory? definitely, the longest since they did die in the 1890s. In a fire. While they were trapped in a tiny ass box. in the middle of said fire. and burned alive.  .... What i said it was horror didn't i?? Charlie has some SERIOUS claustrophobia my guys. It’s common knowledge to the circus folks how Charlie died, they sorta agree its the worst of them all. Everyone died from the fire but only Charlie was trapped in such a small space unable to get out. They are the contortionist of the circus, it was a combo act with the magician who locked them in this way-too-small box and was going to make them disappear when the fire started and he ran off to help people and forgot them in the box. He’s super apologetic and Charlie only sorta still blames him. Logan and Nellie know that Charlie died in the fire but they don't find out until later exactly how. Idk how much it affects the narrative yet, but it does affect how Charlie interacts with the other circus performers since they tend to be mother hen-y around them, tho that also has to do with, again, charlie basically being raised by the whole crew. they ran away at like 11-12 or so to join, so yea, especially the people who have been there forever tend to view them as their kid in a way. It takes a village after all. But whether it affects the whole story, idk, again haven't started it yet. 
thanks again for the asks, and im sorry it took so long! 
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