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secretlymagneto · 5 years

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Simon’s Dark Phoenix Review (Not the director, another Simon) (NOT SPOILER FREE)

Yeah, I’m a Simon too, what of it? That’s another thing, actually. Watching DP was like reading my own writing. NOT A GOOD THING. I could see exactly what the director was going for and what the flaws in the script were because we have the same style, and my god was it bad. Like the pitfalls in my writing style but worse. A lot of the choices (setting and characterwise) are similar ones to what I would have made, which is why I’m trying to clear my head and make this. (Because while some of it is similar SOME OF THE DECISIONS ARE HORRIBLE WHY) It’s like looking at my evil twin yikes.

I have regathered my thoughts from last night after seeing Dark Phoenix. I’ve been mulling it over. I’ve been reading other reviews and looking through the lens of a fan, a moviegoer, and a critic.

What I have to say before I start:

Nostalgia. I have been watching x-men movies since 2014? 2012? My first X-Men movie was DOFP, so you can tell the precedent that set for me. There are two good X-Men Movies in the “new” timeline. DOFP, and First Class. You can tell (based on writing, character development, etc). This movie is not one of them.

Cons:

I’ll start with the cons first, to get them out of the way.

There are three women on the x-men team and they kill two of them. Storm is barely involved in anything, and only has a few moments of character/screentime. Also, they never call her Ororo despite that being her name. (Everyone else is referred to by name)

Some of the acting is lackluster. I was a bit surprised too. I don’t know, I was hoping for better. Especially in the mourning scenes.

Why hasn’t anyone talked about the PACING? It was weird, stilted, and way too quiet in some scenes. Sometimes the script was so vague and repetitive it sounded like a movie trailer rather than a movie. Raven’s death was anticlimactic merely due to the way it was written. Like, come on.

GOD THE SCRIPT IS AWFUL. Some of the character development is good (more on that later) BUT WOW. Sophie Turner isn’t a bad actress, so I wouldn’t fault her for her choices in this movie really. Like, most of the time she’s fine, but once in a while, she becomes unnecessarily repetitive. The character dialogue doesn’t flow. Sometimes the sentences are too short too often, which makes the film seem choppy. Show don’t tell is really important, but sometimes WHAT the characters say is telling in itself and they really could have used that to their advantage.

The villain was a bit underdeveloped. They were just kind of...there? Sometimes they were well and truly evil, and I really liked some of the scenes with the power transference and stuff. Other times, they were just a vague yet menacing “force” that sort of comes from nowhere and will soon go nowhere too.

Raven’s makeup isn’t good. Sometimes Hank’s isn’t either? But it’s not nearly as bad.

The score wavered between good and bad, sometimes drawing out scenes with a sort of Interstellar vibe (aka, very cool, very vast, very beautiful) but other times falling flat or making scenes too quiet.

Dude where the hell is Quicksilver? Peter is so important. His character development kind of relies on him revealing that Magneto is his dad (which Erik doesn’t know, and probably should have at this point). Also, Peter could have been a key player in convincing Erik that he wasn’t doing the right thing, but he wasn’t even there AT ALL. I know he’s not the main character, but I really expected some Dadneto moments in this one.

Kurt what. Just. What? Nightcrawler is like one of my favorite characters but there’s something about the way he’s written in this movie that’s sloppy. He’s still his sweet self around the beginning, but as the movie draws to a close his few moments of dialogue kind of (maybe) hint at development? Then he learns how to stop being a pacifist because some guy died, but like the way the actor conveys this looks like the way my friends used to pretend to do “violent rages” when they were younger. You know, the whole “AAAAAA” *stabs someone*. It looked cheesy.

There were some unintentionally hilarious moments. When Erik walks in with the subway car and looks up at Jean like “You think you can come into MY HOUSE and wreck MY SHIT for free??” that was PRICELESS. He doesn’t even say anything he just walks in there with his stupid train and stares at her. The evil lady is like talking to her when he just kind of bursts through the wall like the Kool-aid man.

Pros:

The first twenty minutes or so were the best twenty minutes. The work the team did together, the mission, and the atmosphere of the entire segment, was beautiful. Seeing the X-Men again on screen made me so giddy I was shaking.

The telekinesis was very good. I mean, the special effects weren’t always there but my god was the USE of telekinesis good. Like the creativity with it. They really manipulated it, making cool hand gestures and bringing power and finesse into play in order to make full use of the capabilities.

Erik has some of the most beautiful character development in this movie. He learns how to move when needed, while not taking drastic measures as he used to. He learns how to listen when necessary, and act when necessary. God, I’m such a Magneto stan.

Charles learns that he’s a flawed idiot. I’m so glad. (Quoted me, and also probably Magneto) Throughout all the movies he’s the good guy despite the fact that from his perspective and from the world’s perspective what he’s doing isn’t just the “optimistic” thing to do, but also the most dangerous. He’s sending teens (young adults?) to die for his cause because he believes so much in hope. It started in Cuba, and it’s still happening. He was the one who didn’t want to leave an astronaut behind. BASICALLY, HE SAYS THAT SOMETHING IS HIS FAULT AND THAT HE FAILED AND IT WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT SCENE.

Scott and Jean’s relationship was actually nice! I liked it! (Personal opinion obviously) but I didn’t think it seemed too forced or uh unlikeable like in X3. Scott is drastic but he’s not nearly as “edgy” as he was. The ending wasn’t heartbreaking, but it was great character development for Jean. It was a sweet relationship, but not one I’d label as moving. (at least it was nice! And I liked it! Sometimes relationships just seem forced and awful)

Listen, I know people say that Erik was unnecessary for this movie but seeing as he and Charles work as two perfect halves to Jean’s full power and potential is actually a really good story element. Like when Charles tries to coddle her, Erik gives her the truth. That’s good duality.

Erik working with the X-Men is the best thing that’s it it’s the best thing.

THE ENDING!!! SO GOOD!! It left me satisfied and it felt like a good sendoff. Charles and Erik are finally friends again, and they’ve finally developed enough to know their own flaws. It was also super cute aaa

Moira Mactaggart isn’t in this movie. I don’t hate her character, but god the way her relationship is written with Charles is awful and I’ve had to deal with it for two movies. I’ve had enough and I’m so glad the writers realized this.

SOME OF THE SETTINGS AND SHOTS ARE GOOD. I don’t know how to explain it, but as a writer/artist, I’m a big fan of atmosphere and setting/color means EVERYTHING. The suburban neighborhood is pale and desolate, set during a hazed summer and conveying a sense of warped nostalgia. The mission in space was beautifully lit and composed.

As a fan I was happy with it. It may have not been the best movie, but by god was it as good as it was going to get. It far surpassed my expectations with Jean’s story arc (finally not making her “suddenly evil” or whatever, and not making her sexy) and it rounded out Charles and Erik in a very nice and healthy way.

THE CHARACTERS ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE. This is the one X-Men movie I’ve seen where I didn’t want to punch anyone in the fact for not just saying something or apologizing. CHARLES ACTUALLY SEES HIS FAULTS. He actually apologizes and steps down from his position. Erik actually listens and carefully reviews the circumstances in order to make an educated decision. Charles stops making his stupid self-righteous speeches (he’s really bad at that). Raven actually tries talking to Jean first before fighting, and the things she says weren’t problematic. Unlike when Charles keeps trying to talk to Erik (and botches it because they don’t have the same background and they’re too different, blah blah blah), Raven’s speech wasn’t assuming anything about Jean. It was about supporting her and helping her out. Jean was overwhelmed, but the grounding methods Raven used weren’t incorrect.

Conclusion:

6.5/10. I would say Apocolypse is only slightly better because it is more structurally sound, but it’s on thin ice. DOFP is still an all time favorite, and First class is up there, but Dark Phoenix isn’t the best. It was quiet, overdramatic, and while doing better on the emotional side felt overwhelmingly anticlimactic. If you’re a fan of the characters and you just want to see them again? See it. I liked this movie a lot for that, and I really enjoyed the moments in the movie. If you want to see a GOOD x-men movie? Don’t bother. It’s not GOOD GOOD. It’s not BAD. It’s Okay. It’s okay and I enjoyed it. I was actually pleasantly surprised by it based on my expectations! And I really liked certain aspects. So give it a shot, okay? Don’t let the mean reviewers get you down, this movie is better than they let on even if it’s not good as a “movie”.

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