#plays posted Saturday 11:30 pm eastern standard time
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SURREAL MART
#379 in a series of one-act, one scene plays
[ACT 1, scene 1: Convenience store called Surreal Mart. KATE and STANLEY wait in a checkout line].
KATE: Why are we in here? I hate Surreal Marts.
STANLEY: I just need to buy a pack of cigarettes.
KATE: Once I bought a carton of eggs here, and they immediately hatched. Worst of all, they all had my face (shudders). I set them free. Do you realize there are chickens running around with human heads out there?
STANLEY: I doubt they survived.
KATE: John once asked to use the bathroom here, and somehow he ended up in Ohio.
STANLEY: It’s cheaper than flying I guess.
KATE: I once drank a Crystal Pepsi from here, and then it drank me. I escaped the bottle when a perturbed raccoon broke the glass while eating trash.
[They reach the register and a short CASHIER greets them].
STANLEY: Just a pack of smokes, please.
[The CASHIER turns around and is a chicken with a human head].
CASHIER: That’s be ten bu-goks, please! Hello, mother!
(curtain)
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I posted 10,058 times in 2021
128 posts created (1%)
9930 posts reblogged (99%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 77.6 posts.
I added 170 tags in 2021
#youtube - 51 posts
#one act one scene plays - 25 posts
#fred bitter - 24 posts
#plays - 23 posts
#horizon magazine - 12 posts
#plays posted saturday 11:30 pm eastern standard time - 12 posts
#repost - 7 posts
#plays posted saturday night at 11:30 pm - 6 posts
#alice cooper - 6 posts
#me - 4 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#still don't understand why the headmistress/witch had to sleep on the other side of the sheet other than for the amazing surrealistic effect
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
youtube
Stevie Wright - Black Eyed Bruiser (1975 Aussie hard rock)
6 notes • Posted 2021-01-29 17:28:57 GMT
#4
Sorry kids!
No Heath bars in the candy bowl this Halloween. Officially gone. Enjoy your garbage Rollos and Kit Kats.
7 notes • Posted 2021-10-27 00:30:16 GMT
#3
youtube
Monkey Crazy
7 notes • Posted 2021-11-03 19:29:46 GMT
#2
10 notes • Posted 2021-07-01 20:45:49 GMT
#1
youtube
Limb From Limb - Motorhead
11 notes • Posted 2021-12-04 22:02:43 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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Overwatch League: Week 4 - May Melee
So... Washington Justice, San Francisco Shock, and Houston Outlaws lost... but Florida Mayhem won, so that's cool. Go off Mayhem and Dallas, I guess.
This week is the May Melee Tournament, the first tournament of OWL Season 4. Like last week, we don't know which teams will be playing during specific rounds, since there is a winner and loser bracket, so I'll go over the matches we know about and what I think will happen(teams that I think will win are highlighted). I also want to mention that this is all Eastern Standard Time(EST) in the US, think Virginia, New York, New Jersey, the Carolinas, Pennsylvania, and a few more states. Just check the OWL website for what time the matches take place in your timezone or convert EST to your timezone.
Quick TLDR: Just go to the Overwatch League website to look at all of this information; the schedule, the info. about the MM-Mei skin, the info. about Rewards, also check out my MM-Mei skin post.
Thursday, May 6th
Shanghai Dragons vs. Florida Mayhem - 10:00 pm.
Friday, May 7th
Dallas Fuel vs. Chengdu Hunters - 11:30 pm.
Shanghai Dragons vs. Florida Mayhem - 12:30 pm(Encore).
Dallas Fuel vs. Chengdu Hunters - 2:00 pm(Encore).
To Be Determined - 9:00 pm.
To Be Determined - 10:30 pm.
Saturday, May 8th
To Be Determined - 12:00 am.
To Be Determined - 12:00 pm(Encore of Friday 9:00 pm).
To Be Determined - 2:00 pm(Encore of Friday 10:30 pm).
To Be Determined - 3:30 pm(Encore of Saturday 12:00 am).
Finale: To Be Determined - 9:00 pm.
Sunday, May 9th
Finale: To Be Determined - 12:30 pm(Encore of Saturday 9:00pm).
Rewards: Like normal, you get 5 Overwatch League tokens per hour of watching OWL. THIS IS IMPORTANT, you can get the White and Grey Overwatch League Ana skins if you watch 4 hours of the May Melee. You also get a fan-designed spray with the Ana skins.
#overwatch#overwatch 2#overwatch league#owl#ana#ana amari#mei#mei ling zhou#florida#florida mayhem#dallas#dallas fuel#shanghai#shanghai dragons#chengdu#chengdu hunters#may#may melee
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Predicting the winner of every Week 9 CFB game, from Penn State-Ohio State and NC State-Notre Dame to APSU-UCF
It’s beginning to smell like November college football ...
November must be near. Week 9 of the college football season features the following:
a game pivotal to both the national title and Big Ten races: Penn State at Ohio State
a Playoff eliminator: NC State at Notre Dame
ranked-vs.-ranked games that will sculpt the Big 12 home stretch: TCU at Iowa State, Oklahoma State at WVU
a key rivalry game that regularly features out-of-character performances and will shape a division race: Florida vs. Georgia
The No. 1 team is on bye, and yet I don’t hear too many people complaining about this being a boring week. (I do, however, hear people complaining about all the good games being on at the same time. I am one of those voices.)
Below are picks and projections using the S&P+ projections you can find in full in the Football Study Hall stat profiles. See the bottom of the post for more detail about these.
The spread (listed in parentheses) is shown next to S&P+’s pick for each game. When S&P+ predicts a push (a tie with Vegas, basically), I’m listing the pick on the side that S&P+ would’ve picked, if teams could score in decimals.
This document breaks games (and S&P+’s season performance to date) out into their decimal glory.
Ranked vs. ranked
Matthew O'Haren-USA TODAY Sports
Ohio State and Penn State played in a classic last year in Happy Valley.
No. 6 Ohio State (-6.5) 33, No. 2 Penn State 24 (Saturday, 3:30 PM ET, Fox)
No. 9 Notre Dame (-7.5) 36, No. 14 NC State 25 (Saturday, 3:30 PM ET, NBC)
No. 4 TCU (-6.5) 30, No. 25 Iowa State 22 (Saturday, 3:30 PM ET, ABC/ESPN2)
No. 11 Oklahoma State (-7.5) 39, No. 22 West Virginia 31 (Saturday, 12:00 PM ET, ABC)
The headliner is in Columbus, but the Big 12 race might be the one most impacted by Week 9.
Other ranked teams in action
Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports
Florida-Georgia has produced some confusing results of late.
No. 3 Georgia (-14) 35, Florida 17 (Saturday, 3:30 PM ET, CBS)
No. 5 Wisconsin 38, Illinois (+27) 12 (Saturday, 12:00 PM ET, ESPN)
No. 7 Clemson 32, Georgia Tech (+14) 21 (Saturday, 8:00 PM ET, ABC/ESPN2)
No. 8 Miami (-20.5) 39, North Carolina 17 (Saturday, 12:00 PM ET, ESPN2)
No. 10 Oklahoma 42, Texas Tech (+20) 30 (Saturday, 8:00 PM ET, ABC/ESPN2)
No. 12 Washington (-17.5) 40, UCLA 21 (Saturday, 3:30 PM ET, ABC/ESPN2)
No. 13 Virginia Tech (-15.5) 33, Duke 16 (Saturday, 7:20 PM ET, ACCN)
No. 15 Washington State (-3) 30, Arizona 27 (Saturday, 9:30 PM ET, Pac-12)
No. 16 Michigan State (-2.5) 27, Northwestern 18 (Saturday, 3:30 PM ET, ESPN)
No. 17 USF (-10.5) 33, Houston 20 (Saturday, 3:45 PM ET, ESPNU)
No. 18 UCF 68, Austin Peay -3 (Saturday, 5:00 PM ET, ESPN3)*
No. 20 Stanford (-21) 46, Oregon State 20 (Thursday, 9:00 PM ET, ESPN)
No. 21 USC (-3) 34, Arizona State 26 (Saturday, 10:45 PM ET, ESPN)
No. 24 Memphis 36, Tulane (+10.5) 30 (Friday, 8:00 PM ET, CBSSN)
The only reason to believe that Florida can pull an upset over Georgia is that the Gators have pulled off out-of-character results against the Dawgs for three straight years — four, really, including a closer-than-expected loss in 2013. The Florida offense finds life it misplaced against everybody else, and ... well, rivalry games are funky sometimes.
On paper, though, this isn’t a game. We’ll see.
* The number of total points and the projected final margin are determined separately, and once in a blue moon, that results in a negative projected score. One of these days, it’ll really happen, regardless of the rules of actual football. Either way, if you can find an Austin Peay-UCF spread, UCF’s probably beating it.
Power 5 vs. Power 5
Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images
Can FSU slow down a suddenly potent BC attack?
Colorado (-4) 29, California 25 (Saturday, 2:00 PM ET, Pac-12)
Florida State (-4) 29, Boston College 21 (Friday, 8:00 PM ET, ESPN)
Indiana (-4.5) 28, Maryland 22 (Saturday, 3:30 PM ET, BTN)
Iowa 26, Minnesota (+7) 20 (Saturday, 6:30 PM ET, FS1)
Kansas State 37, Kansas (+24.5) 20 (Saturday, 3:00 PM ET, FS1)
Kentucky 26, Tennessee (+4.5) 23 (Saturday, 7:30 PM ET, SECN)
Michigan 28, Rutgers (+23.5) 15 (Saturday, 12:00 PM ET, BTN)
Mississippi State (-1) 30, Texas A&M 22 (Saturday, 7:15 PM ET, ESPN)
Ole Miss (-3.5) 35, Arkansas 29 (Saturday, 12:00 PM ET, SECN)
Oregon (+3) 28, Utah 28 (Saturday, 5:45 PM ET, Pac-12)
Purdue (-5.5) 30, Nebraska 23 (Saturday, 7:30 PM ET, BTN)
South Carolina (-7) 29, Vanderbilt 21 (Saturday, 4:00 PM ET, SECN)
Texas (-8) 34, Baylor 24 (Saturday, 12:00 PM ET, ESPNU)
Virginia (+3) 32, Pittsburgh 24 (Saturday, 12:30 PM ET, ACCN)
Wake Forest (+3) 30, Louisville 29 (Saturday, 12:20 PM ET, ACCN)
Friday night features an odd matchup between an FSU team struggling to a unique degree and a Boston College that suddenly found an offense between the couch cushions. Steve Addazio and the Eagles can’t send the Noles to 2-5, can they?
FBS vs. FBS
Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports
Michael Gallup and CSU are surviving and advancing
Appalachian State (-4.5) 33, Massachusetts 24 (Saturday, 3:30 PM ET, NESN)
Arkansas State (-4) 34, New Mexico State 28 (Saturday, 8:00 PM ET, ESPN3)
Boise State 26, Utah State (+8.5) 24 (Saturday, 10:00 PM ET, CBSSN)
Buffalo (+5.5) 29, Akron 24 (Saturday, 11:30 AM ET, CBSSN)
BYU 26, San Jose State (+13) 21 (Saturday, 3:00 PM ET, ESPN3)
Coastal Carolina (-8.5) 34, Texas State 23 (Saturday, 6:00 PM ET, ESPN3)
Colorado State (-11) 39, Air Force 27 (Saturday, 3:00 PM ET, CBSSN)
Florida Atlantic 33, Western Kentucky (+7) 27 (Saturday, 4:30 PM ET, Stadium)
Fresno State 38, UNLV (+21.5) 21 (Saturday, 10:00 PM ET, MWC Video)
Idaho 32, UL-Monroe (+3) 30 (Saturday, 5:00 PM ET, ESPN3)
Louisiana Tech (-13) 35, Rice 20 (Saturday, 3:30 PM ET, $FloTV)
Marshall 31, Florida International (+17) 18 (Saturday, 2:30 PM ET, Facebook)
Missouri 38, Connecticut (+12) 31 (Saturday, 6:30 PM ET, CBSSN)
North Texas (-10.5) 39, Old Dominion 21 (Saturday, 6:30 PM ET, ESPN3)
Northern Illinois 25, Eastern Michigan (+7) 18 (Thursday, 7:00 PM ET, CBSSN)
San Diego State 34, Hawaii (+9.5) 27 (Saturday, 11:15 PM ET, ESPN2)
SMU (-9) 46, Tulsa 26 (Friday, 9:00 PM ET, ESPN2)
South Alabama (-1) 29, Georgia State 24 (Thursday, 7:30 PM ET, ESPNU)
Southern Miss (-13) 33, UAB 19 (Saturday, 7:00 PM ET, $CUSA Video)
Toledo 38, Ball State (+26) 20 (Thursday, 7:00 PM ET, ESPN3)
Troy (-25.5) 38, Georgia Southern 10 (Saturday, 3:30 PM ET, ESPN3)
UTSA (-16) 39, UTEP 15 (Saturday, 8:00 PM ET, $CUSA Video)
Wyoming (+1) 26, New Mexico 25 (Saturday, 7:30 PM ET, ESPNU)
The MWC Mountain Division race should be pretty well-defined after this week. If Boise State and Colorado State both win (and they’re both favored to do so), the two teams will be two weeks from basically a winner-takes-all battle in CSU’s pretty new Fort Collins stadium. But Air Force and Utah State are both pretty tricky. An upset or two, and the division potentially opens wide.
Each year at Football Study Hall, I have posted weekly S&P+ picks as a way of affirming the ratings’ validity. I use my S&P+ system as a complement to most of my analysis, and the picks are a way of showing it generally knows what it’s talking about.
S&P+ tends to hit between 50 (meh) and 54 percent (great) against the spread from year to year. It isn’t always the single best performer, but it holds its own. And beyond picks, it goes deeper than any other set of college football analytics on the market. You can go into granular detail regarding team strengths and weaknesses in a way that no other set of ratings allows. (See the annual team statistical profiles as proof.)
This year, I will be posting the weekly S&P+ picks at SB Nation instead of FSH.
Because I like to experiment, however, I won’t just be posting the official S&P+ picks. Go to this Google doc, and you will find three sets of picks: S&P+, F/+ (combined ratings from S&P+ and Brian Fremeau’s FEI), and what I’m calling an adjusted S&P+ pick, in which I attempt to account for two additional factors: week of play and type of game.
Week of play: I’m finding that there are cycles to scoring averages throughout a given season. Week 1 typically falls below the season scoring average, while the final weeks of the season tend to perk up in the scoring department. This adjusted projection will take this into account.
Game type: It shouldn’t be surprising to learn that the standard deviation of possible results in a game against FCS competition, for instance, is different than that of a conference game. This projection will also adjust for different types of games. This will mean some pretty extreme projections, but we’ll see how it performs.
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THE CHIPPER
#382 in a series of one-act, one scene plays
[ACT 1, scene 1: Suburbia. Telephone pole is struck by lightning].
POLICE OFFICER: Good Lord, that telephone pole has come alive!
[POLICE OFFICER shoots at telephone pole. The telephone pole swings its wires like arms and turns the POLICE OFFFICER into a pile of ash with a hat atop].
[A dog barks at the telephone pole; the telephone pole turns the dog into a plate of hot dogs].
MAN: Where’s Chip the Chipper when you need him? Some say his family was killed by a tree. Others say he just has a chip on his shoulder. Either way, he’s the best wood chipper this town has.
WOMAN: Here he comes now!
CHIP THE CHIPPER: This looks like a job that can only be solved by chipping. [Starts up wood chipper]. Step aside, citizens. Hyah!
[CHIP THE CHIPPER spins the wood chipper around and flings it on top of the telephone pole. It grinds it down to the size of a toothpick. CHIP THE CHIPPPER picks the sparking toothpick up and lights his cigarette. He then throws the toothpick into the chipper. Flames and electricity shoot out, and then the soul of the telephone pole rises moaning into the sky].
CHIP THE CHIPPER: Because there isn’t any job… any job that can’t be solved by chipping!
(curtain)
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Tex-Mex, Hugs, and Rock n Roll
#381 in a series of one-act, one scene plays
[ACT 1, scene 1: ROCK STAR enters before a stadium audience].
CROWD: Play, Mr. Heroin!
ROCK STAR: Actually, I’ve given up my hedonistic ways ever since I found the Good Lord, Jesus Christ!
[CROWD boos].
ROCK STAR: But here’s one I think you’ll like just as much. [Plays chords to Mr. Heroin as reggae]. It’s called: Mr. Here-I-Am, Lord.
[CROWD boos].
CROWD: Play My Grave (Can you dig it?); play All My Whores!
ROCK STAR: Did I hear a request for: Ah, My Horse?
CROWD: No, you did not. Play Shooting Up in the Park!
ROCK STAR: What’s that now? You want to hear Sunshine in the Dark? Well, okay! And a one, and a two…
[MANAGER comes out, unplugs microphone, and smashes ROCK STAR’s guitar].
MANAGER: The theater’s on fire. Also, you’re fired.
(curtain)
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The LIQUID LIFE of the LEOPARD and the LEMON
#384 in a series of one-act, one scene plays
[ACT 1, scene 1: Desert. Night. You are a mournful leopard. There is a lemon on a wooden table].
NARRATOR: Look, leopard! The lemon leers!
[The lemon makes scornful grumbles and struts about the table. You pounce and take it into your mighty jaws. You howl in agony].
NARRATOR: [laughing]: Yes! Bitter, isn’t it leopard? You fool. It mocks you even in death! Life gave you lemons, but what have you given life?
[The leopard dies and days pass in seconds as it desiccates].
NARRATOR: I see you’re changing your spots. Oh, now what’s this?
[Desert. Day. You are a mournful lemon. There is a leering leopard on a wooden table].
LEMON: Oh no! My karmic lot in life! Brought to light! Loud lamentations!
(curtain)
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GOODBYE, GOODBYE
#383 in a series of one-act, one scene plays
[ACT 1, scene 1: ENGINEER at radar station on Earth].
ENGINEER: Rocket 252! Come in, Rocket 252. Your ship is in peril of disintegrating. You need to push a certain button. Can you read me, Captain Jim?
CAPTAIN JIM: I don’t care about any of that. What’s the point? Goodbye. Goodbye.
ENGINEER: Come in. Did you hear that your ship is in peril? Captain Jim? Lieutenant Janice, do you read me?
LT. JANICE: Maybe it’s better this way. Just go away and shut up, you!
ENGINEER: Have you all gone insane? Third mate Larry, can you read me? Your ship is in danger! The others are acting strangely. You need to push a button. Listen-
THIRD MATE LARRY: Ugh. Some days I just want to die. I don’t care anymore. Also, any more coffee?
ENGINEER: What? Please! You need to hit the exhaust button! There’s only seconds!
[The ship’s communication room is revealed to be empty except for the ship's PARROT at the microphone imitating the crew. CAPTAIN JIM walks in and hears the conversation, but it is too late. The ship blows up].
(curtain)
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OF MASCOTS AND MILKWEED
#370 in a series of one-act, one scene plays
[ACT 1, scene 1: Dollar store under a highway overpass. A CASHIER stands behind the register. A high school mascot, the FIGHTING FOX, purchases a shopping cart full of milkweed plants].
CASHIER [holding up twenty dollar bill]: I’m sorry, I can’t accept this. It’s counterfeit.
[The FIGHTING FOX MASCOT mimes outrage].
CASHIER: Listen. I know you’re shady as hell; not because your costume is moth eaten, but because I know for a fact that that local high school team retired their mascot years ago. I’m calling the police.
[FIGHTING FOX MASCOT attempts to escape with the carriage, but trips. The head rolls off to reveal it was a costume full of thousands of caterpillars].
CASHIER [shakes head]: Where moth and rust doth corrupt.
(curtain)
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Pippalam
#380 in a series of one-act, one scene plays
[ACT 1, scene 1: FARMER looks at a cayenne pepper plant].
FARMER: Ah, good. This plant will yield a goodly harvest.
[FARMER leaves. A BLUE JAY flutters down to the plant and scares away two butterflies with his squawk].
BLUE JAY [takes a bite of pepper]: Yes? ….. Yes?.... No!!!
[BLUE JAY flings pepper away and takes another].
BLUE JAY [takes a bite of pepper]: Yes?... Yes?.... No!!!
[BLUE JAY flings pepper away and takes another].
BLUE JAY [takes a bite of pepper]: Yes? ….. Yes?.... No!!!
[BUTTERFLY flies down to the pepper plant].
BUTTERFLY: Say, man. There’s a whole field of fruits here. Why do you keep trying this plant if you hate it?
BLUE JAY: Because I hate change!
(curtain)
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ROAD DOWN
#373 in a series of one-act, one scene plays
[ACT 1, scene 1: Night. A businesswoman drives a motorhome at breakneck speed.].
BUSINESSWOMAN: That sign said Seal Island is five miles away. If I can make it before dawn then the curse will be lifted. I won’t have to run every night [looks in rearview and screams].
[A portly gentleman rides a puma in pursuit of the motorhome. He happily eats a mutton leg and drinks from a chalice. He wipes his greasy fingers on his ruffled shirt].
PORTLY GENTLEMAN: Run! I advance!
BUSINESSWOMAN [speeding up]: Why did I ever steal that amulet?
[The motorhome passes a sign reading: Seal Island road out. Shrimp emergency].
BUSINESSWOMAN: Oh no!
[The BUSINESSWOMAN crashes into a road full of shrimp and water; and begins sinking. Shrimp devour the BUSINESSWOMAN into a skeleton].
PORTLY GENTLEMAN [watching motorhome sink]: Tsk. Tsk. Away, Mortimer! We are too late to help her lift her curse. On to the next then. Hi-yah!
[PORTLY GENTLEMEN and puma disappear into a portal].
(curtain)
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Sir Reginald Barksley III
#363 in a series of one-act, one scene plays
[ACT 1, scene 1: Ice cream parlour. A tiny yellow dog sneaks in as the door closes].
BARKSLEY [yelling]: Yeah! Look who’s finally in! Try to keep this tiny dog out, will you? Too late! What are you going to do about it?
[No one pays attention to the dog].
BARKSLEY: You there, soda jerk! Make me a plate full of peanut-butter ice cream with whipped cream on top!
[No one pays attention to the tiny dog at the counter and they continue business as usual].
BARKSLEY: Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Could it be? Am I a ghost dog?
[He looks behind him through the storefront window and sees his body dead in a posture of a heart attack. An old lady and a small child dance a jig over his dead body. The people rejoice that Sir Barksley is finally dead].
(curtain)
#daily one scene one act plays#plays#me#fred bitter#plays posted Saturday 11:30 pm eastern standard time
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HIJACKET
#361 in a series of one-act, one scene plays
[ACT 1, scene 1: gas station. MAN is buying armfuls of pork rinds and root beer].
CAHSIER: That’ll be twenty dollars.
[MAN reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a twenty dollar bill crawling with ants].
MAN: I’m sorry. It’s all I have. Everything I have in my jacket is crawling with ants…. My jacket has ants. I can’t get rid of them. Exterminators won’t return my calls.
CASHIER: Why don’t you just get a new jacket?
MAN [whispering behind hand]: They won’t let me. The biting! [outloud] Yes, my queen. As you command.
[MAN gathers his items and walks out].
(curtain)
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DRY AIR
#366 in a series of one-act, one scene plays
[ACT 1, scene 1: Sky of orange and pink. A ROBED DRIVER leans against a cloud-colored car. MAN approaches].
MAN: Where am I? Is this heaven? There’s nothing but clouds up here when I awoke. I’m afraid they’ll eventually end and I’ll fall.
[Sky darkens. Distant thunder. Sparks trace along the ROBED DRIVER and the cloud-colored car].
ROBED DRIVER: You don’t have the correct fare [points and lightening hits the MAN. MAN falls through the clouds].
(curtain)
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SEE THE SEA GULL or FOR THE BIRDS!
#368 in a series of one-act, one scene plays
[ACT 1, scene 1: MAN and WOMAN walk by a tree].
MAN [looks up and points]: Look at that!
WOMAN: What?
MAN: In that tree. A sea gull.
WOMAN: So?
MAN: So? So when have you ever seen a sea gull perched in a tree and whistling?
WOMAN: I don’t know. Who cares?
MAN: Just seems weird, that’s all. Woah! Look at that dumpster! It’s full of robins eating garbage!
[The robins caw like sea gulls and angrily drive the MAN and WOMAN away].
MAN: Look at that vulture! It’s helping that injured rabbit across the road! Oh no! Here comes a raven. What could it want?
[RAVEN walks towards them; looks around. Perches on a busted pallet].
RAVEN: For a limited time only!
[RAVEN flies away].
WOMAN: That fried chicken restaurant! They’re fricasséeing humans!
MAN: Run! Penguins with flame throwers!
(curtain)
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