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#plus the ppl in my neighbourhood have money and so a lot of them have sports cars that they drive too fast around corners
willowfey · 10 months
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#i cannot even say how eager i am to live somewhere that is not right down the street from the hospital#i already have so much anxiety every time i pass that place but hearing the sirens constantly every single day.#it takes me like an hour to feel normal after i hear them#an hour after every unexpected phone call#an hour after my mom hears a siren and it gives her flashbacks which trigger mine#not to mention the road behind my house is this road where motorcyclists and cars decide they can go as fast as humanly possibly#so every night i hear them speeding by so fast and i have woken up to car accidents right behind my house#waking up to the sound of screeching metal and sirens the first week u live in a house rly sets u up for living there#not to mention the neighbour’s girlfriend’s ex stalks her sometimes and he’ll just Be Here Outside being weird#and i don’t trust the neighbour in general. since the day we moved in i haven’t trusted him#and then there’s the boys around the corner that always bring out their lawn chairs and shout things at me when i ride my bike past#plus the ppl in my neighbourhood have money and so a lot of them have sports cars that they drive too fast around corners#i just. i love my house i do. the inside of my house has gotten me through the hardest times of my life#but i do not feel safe or comfortable in this neighbourhood#why do the power lines buzz so loud every night#what is that godawful ringing that only me and my sister can hear on the other side of the street#idk there’s just smth Off about it here i need to leave but i’m so scared to leave my safe space behind too#this is the longest i’ve lived in a house in a Long time and we’ve changed it so much it feels like mine#i’m holding onto it but i’m so eager to go at the same time it feels so odd#anyway. could we start with no more sirens bc i’ve been sitting on the floor recuperating for the last twenty minutes#my anxiety is a million times worse than it was a few years ago and i’m so tired of being this person#i wanna feel safe in the world again
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cvastals · 3 years
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look i kno i said i wasnt gna bring a 6th until i was caught up w replies bt i kno gunner well n therefore felt like he deserved his time to shine in the rp so i beg of u pls plot w him looks at u all like :B
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* axel auriant, cis man + he/him | you know gunner paxton, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, four years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to bizarre love triangle by new order like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole curling up for days in bed wearing a hello kitty comfort shirt, stuttering in the face of affection, and hand me downs two sizes too big thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is july 31st, so they’re a leo, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( bri, 23, est, they/them )
background.
middle child of the paxton family, cliff being the eldest and wyatt being the youngest :D
they lived at the top of a hill in a trailer in a trailer park neighbourhood in laramie, wyoming so to say the least that fucking sucked for everyone involved
the trailer was so small that all 3 boys ended up sharing a room, gunner and wyatt sharing a bunk bed bc they cldnt fit 3 beds into one room it really was every childs nightmare bt they quickly grew used to it tbh
gunner was always more of an artsy child than invested in sports - though he does enjoy baseball and continued even to this day after their dad made him join SOMETHING in middle school - so he never rly earned their father’s respect, but he was always close with his mom since they had the same calm temperament
(depression/anxiety tw) he also gained a list of mental health issues that their mom had as well, including social anxiety and major depressive disorder
(violence/abuse tw) their father always encouraged pretty volatile behaviour and it caused a lot of physical fights and arguments between the brothers when their dad told them the best way to get over it was to start hurting until someone tapped out, it was just a chaotic and pretty abusive household but no one knew and their mom definitely wasn’t going to say anything about it to their dad
(missing child/kidnapping/anxiety/depression tw)  wyatt went missing on a weekend that their parents were gone because of a trip they won, and things just got worse from there, high school was really rough for gunner, his anxiety grew worse as time went on that no one found wyatt, their dad grew more hostile towards them, cliff left home in the middle of the night never to be seen again (merely leaving a note so that the family didn’t think they had a case of two kidnapped children), and their mom just grew sicker, it was rare that she would ever leave her room and if she did it was in fits of random energy where she would do something spontaneous and completely unnecessary to their house as a way of coping
the two years that gunner was at home after cliff left were pretty brutal and as soon as he could, he was fleeing wyoming and going to school in irving
(internalized homophobia tw)  things are far better now that he’s out of his home situation, but ofc he still has a few personal things he’s working thru; the paxton’s were raised in an incredibly religious household, and he’s got some classic Catholic Guilt going on upon realizing that he’s not jst attracted to women n he avoided talking abt it forever/stayed in the closet fr far too long bt he’s sort of come out now in his own way even tho he does still get a bit nervous talking abt it rly
he’s also ‘dealing’ rn (just pharmaceuticals) which is frankly funny to think abt bc this man is abt as threatening as a care bear bt money is tight all things considering and a librarian job doesn’t rly cover it, and with the amount of meds he’s on, plus incredibly frequent doctor’s visits, needing to pay for extra epi-pens, inhalers, etcs. bills add up so he’s cutting back his meds n selling wht he can spare which is . so unhealthy bt thts life in corporate america baybee!
details.
is literally allergic to everything. grass, cats, most fruits, milk, most nuts, bees, latex, probably more i cnt even keep up w them its pathetic
u can catch him strutting around town w his blinged out epipen holder (aka blinged out w pins of his fav horrors movies) LKSHDGKLHSKLDG
if things cldnt get worse he also has quite intense asthma so he carries an inhaler with him at all times
n to make matters even WORSE he frequently has dizzy spells n bad memory problems bc of all the concussions he’s suffered from (about 8-9 at this point) as well as consistent migraines that can b literally debilitating sometimes
awkward n jst a bit of a Weirdo to b frank like he barely knows how to converse with ppl
didnt have any friends in high school so took the time to teach himself rly weird things, knows a fuck ton of magic tricks, can yodel, juggle, solve a rubix cube with his eyes closed in under 30 seconds, just extremely weird and specific things
can honestly b a bit mean/barbaric to ppl he’s not close w/doesn’t kno - has told ppl to their face before he doesn’t enjoy talking to them bc he has no concept of social constructs/norms
loves 2 film random things at parties, makes him feel more comfortable at them n he makes short films of them all after
going off that fact he did a film internship in nyc during the summer and is trying to find a job in that field
doesn’t realize demisexuality is a thing so he’s never been that fond of sex but has this stigma in his mind that that makes him Broken so he still Tries n it jst doesnt go well tugs my shirt collar
connections.
ppl who r more into under the counter meds than Hard Drugs n buy off him?? probs wld have to kno him some way hes too scared to sell to Random randoms
ppl he went to school w? :D
some friends………. hes awkward bt he means well…………
ppl he has a crush on/unrequited crushes either way wtvr floats ur boat he crushes quite easily but never does anything abt it fr the most part
a mans he wld Risk It All fr (aka a guy tht he actually has a crush on n is Extra Awkward probs a lil mean to bc hes still New to That)
some enemies tbh, he has a temper n he tends to blow up rarely bt it happens n when it does it actually can b quite scary JKSHDGLHSDG
a muse….. mayhaps?? someone he always wants in his film projects
awkward past hook ups/one night stands where one of them cut ties off cuz every time they got together gunner acted like he was embalming a body for a funeral
current hook ups/fwb’s w ppl he’s actually close w/is comfortable w so its nowhere near as bad SDKHSLDGHKLSDGH
Anything u Desire
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rivvcr-blog · 6 years
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ok  so  i’m  late  to  the  party  as  always  but.....  here’s  river  my  lil  soundcloud  rapper.  ur  welcome  for  blessing  y’all  with  ur  favorite  ethnically  ambiguous  white  boi  fc  bc  he’s  SO  DARN  CUTE.  here’s  proof.  anyways  like  this  for  plots  ok ?
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               (  noah  centineo  •  twenty-two  •  cismale  )  looks  like river  eposito just  moved  into apartment  5B!  i  heard  that he is  here  in  los  angeles  because he’s  an  aspiring  rapper  trying  to  get  signed  by  a  record  label but  has  been  struggling  –  thankfully  moreau  has  taken  them  in!  rumour  has  it,  they  can  be  quite detached and sullen but  at  least  they're astute and pragmatic,  hey?  i  can  already  tell  they’re  going  to  be  the despondent of  the  building.  (  ooc  nicki,  18+,  pst,  she/they  )
ABOUT
river  was  raised  in  oakland  california  under  less  than  ideal  circumstances.  he  grew  up  exposed  to  a  lot  that  a  child  has  no  business  seeing  at  such  a  vulnerable  age.  parents  were  underaged  runaways,  did  some  less  than  ideal  things  to  keep  their  house  running.  river  became  the  eldest  of  7
their  household  was  never  the  ideal  but  river  learned  to  adapt.  he  became  street  smart  beyond  his  years  and  knew  where  to  hide  himself  and  his  siblings  whenever  the  family  business  was  going  down.  he’d  barter  in  the  streets  to  get  little  gifts  for  his  siblings  in  order  to  give  them  some  semblance  of  normalcy  in  such  a  messed  up  world
he  became  cold  and  disconnected,  his  coping  mechanism  to  keep  the  world  at  an  arm’s  length.  he  stayed  away  from  drugs  as  long  as  he  possibly  could  until  his  curiosity  got  the  best  of  him.  he’d  probably  be  on  the  same  track  as  his  parents  if  it  wouldn’t  have  been  for  music
he  took  jazz  band  in  school  and  was  a  gifted  piano  player,  a  natural  talent  that  kept  him  off  the  streets  and  gave  him  something  to  care  about.  piano  led  into  singing,  which  he  loved,  but  his  music  met  his  passion  for  poetry  in  the  form  of  his  songwriting
river  was  producing  his  own  music  by  his  senior  year  of  high  school,  keeping  to  himself  and  weaving  it  in  between  band  practice  and  being  the  primary  caretaker  for  his  siblings.  he’d  party  on  the  weekends  but  nothing  to  a  extreme,  knowing  he  could  never  escape  the  vicious  cycle  unless  he  kept  his  feet  firmly  on  the  ground
post-graduation,  he  got  enough  money  scraped  together  plus  a  scholarship  to  do  a  basic  two  year  stint  at  his  local  community  college.  took  music  classes  and  did  internships  at  recording  studios  but  knew  he’d  never  reach  where  he  wanted  to  if  he  stayed  in  oakland.  after  convincing  his  grandparents  to  help  out  with  supervising  his  siblings,  he  spent  the  last  tricklings  of  his  money  on  his  first  month  of  rent  and  a  bus  ticket  to  los  angeles
he’s  been  here  for  a  little  over  6  months  now  and  is  doing  demos  for  every  major  record  label  that  will  give  him  the  time  of  day.  it’s  tedious  and  hard  but  he  loves  it  and  knows  it’ll  be  worth  the  wait  once  he  finally  makes  it  big  and  can  provide  for  his  siblings
personality  wise,  he’s  kinda  moody  and  broody  ?  just  like  always  looking  100%  over  it  and  like  he  could  crush  u.  lowkey  grumpy  but  mostly  just  a  detached  human  being  who  clearly  doesn’t  like  human  emotion.   he  usually  stays  out  of  trouble  bc  he  likes  to  keep  to  himself  n  be  mysterious  but  he  won’t  hesitate  to  protect  his  loved  ones  bitch
once  u  get  over  how…..  annoying  and  angry  he  is  all  the  time  u  see  he’s  lowkey  a  huge  softie,  likes  to  cook  n  smoke  weed  on  the  couch  in  his  fuzzy  socks,  will  constantly  be  facetiming/texting    at  least  2  of  his  siblings,  at  any  given  moment.  has  a  decent  tolerance  while  partying  so  he’s  usually  the  dad  friend  taking  care  of  the  lightweights  at  the  end  of  the  night
he  also  has  a  really  big  heart  so  he  like…..  tries  not  to  do  hookups  bc  he  knows  he’s  gonna  get  attached  but  nobody  assumes  this  since  he  acts  all  hard  n  then  suddenly  he’s  writing  a  breakup  ep  about  someone  he  never  technically  dated  ???  an  actual  Mess
uhhhh    not  that  anybody  cares  bUT  he’s  a  slytherin,  has  a  severe  peanut  allergy,  is  left  handed,  and  his  vc  is  the neighbourhood / jesse rutherford  ;)))
CONNECTIONS
the  best  friend,  lit  friend  group,  close  good  influence  friend,  ppl  he’s  heped  with  groceries,  that  one  person  he  buys  weed  from,  the  one  person  he  tried  coke  with  and  said  never  again  but  lowkey  wants  to  try  it  again,  maybe  someone  who  knows  his  music  ?  unrequited  crush,  unassuming  crush,  will-they  wont-they,  flirtationship,  really  cute  “i  get  flustered  when  i  talk  to  you  so  i  try  to  impress  you  in  other  ways”  basically  i’m  still  half  asleep  but  i  want  every  plot  imaginable
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