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epsiloneridanistar · 2 years
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philthepegacornfics · 4 years
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Broken Home | M.C.
Michael Clifford x Reader
Word Count: 7k+
Trigger warnings: Some swear word, mentions of abuse, self harm.
A/N: I’m new to the 5sos fandom and it’s been over a year since I last wrote something. Please don’t be too harsh. I also want to say, please do not read this if you’re easily triggered! If you’re struggling with self harm, please talk to some one. Anyways, I needed some soft!Michael in my life, so here you go
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I bit my lip trying to ignore the stinging behind my eyes as I walked down the street toward Michael’s house. I huffed, pulling on the strap of my stuffed overnight bag. Hopefully he’s not too busy. He’d be understanding of my situation. He always is.
As his house came into view I picked up the pace, just short of running. Unable to move as fast as I’d like to because of all the weight I was carrying in both of my bags. 
“Please be home. Please be home,” I chanted to myself as I got up the porch. 
I gently knocked on the door. After a few moments of waiting, I heard some noise coming from inside. At least I know someone is home. I quickly rang the doorbell.
“Just a sec!” a voice called out from inside.
Not even a second later, the door opened showing Michael in his pajamas. His dirty blonde hair was sticking up in different directions. He had a wide smile on his face that immediately fell as soon as he saw my face.
“(Y/n), what’s wrong?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing but a loud sob came out. Warm tears started sliding down my cheeks. My chest felt empty. My body started curling in on itself. A few gross sobs came out from behind my hand as I tried to cover them up.
Michael wasted no time pulling me inside and closed the door. Wrapping me up the best he could into his arms, bags mostly in the way.
“Hey, hey. You’re okay. I’m here,” he hushed me. “Let’s put these bags down, yeah? Get some weight off of you.”
He grabbed the bag on my shoulder and set it to the ground before helping me take my backpack off. As he went to set it down, I quickly moved to the couch in the living room and curled up on it. Michael sat down beside me, and pulled me into his chest.
“M-my… She…” I sobbed.
Michael shushed me. “Talk when you’re ready. Take your time.”
I gasped and sniffled between sobs. Ruining Michael’s shirt with my tears and snot. He didn’t say anything though. Just rubbing small comforting circles into my back.
After a long time, I finally stopped blubbering. Tears still came from my eyes, but not nearly as fast as they were. Michael squeezed me gently before letting me go, turning to face me.
“What happened?” he whispered, tucking some of my hair behind my ear.
“Mom kicked me out.” My voice was scratchy and barely there.
His brows knitted together as he frowned. “Why did she kick you out? Was it because of Troy?”
I simply nodded in response.
“Obviously we’ll have to ask my parents, but I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you staying here. I mean, they haven’t minded you staying here in the past. They love you.”
I nodded again before looking around the living room. “Where are they anyways?”
“They went on a lunch date and to the store. They’ll be back soon.”
“Okay.”
“Why did she kick you out?”
I bit my lip thinking about my response. Michael knew enough. He knew the most about what was going on. But still not everything. He knew how Troy would drink and lay around the house. How he made a mess of everything. Michael knows about the first time he slapped my mom. But, only the first time. Not that it’s gotten worse. Or that sometimes he’d hit me when I got in the way of him hurting my mom. He doesn’t know that I’d have to lock my bedroom door so I didn’t get a visit from him in the middle of the night.
Another sob raked through my body. “We got into a fight. I was telling her how much of an ass he is. She, of course, took his side.”
“Oh, (Y/n).” Michael pulled me into another hug.
“I couldn’t do it anymore. I told her that it was him or me. And… And now I’m here…”
“That’s right. You’re here now. You have a home here and you don’t have to go through this alone.”
“Thank you Michael.”
“Let’s get your stuff into my room for now. We’ll probably have you move into the guest room, but I need to check with my parents first.”
As we got up and grabbed my bags I whispered, “Sorry for ruining your Sunday.”
“(Y/n) you never ruin my day. The circumstances suck, sure, but I’m always happy to see you.”
His green eyes were staring into mine. Like he was looking into my soul. I quickly nodded my head and looked around his room as we walked in. There were various band posters hung on the walls. His full sized bed was tucked into the corner. A bookshelf was pressed against the wall at the foot of his bed. Next to that was a computer set up. Across the room opposite of the bed was a TV with various gaming consoles connected to it. Halo was paused on the screen.
He brushed past me and set my overnight bag on his bed. I followed his lead and put my backpack on the bed.
“What did you plan on doing today?” I asked, trying to make light-hearted conversation.
“I plan on spending it with you.”
“I meant before I showed up at your door.”
He sighed. “I was just going to play games until the boys come over. Luke, Calum, Ashton and I were going to practice. But, I can text them and tell them that today won’t work.”
I quickly shook my head. “No, they can still come over. I like listening to you guys play. And while you’re practicing I can do my homework.”
Michael groaned. “Seriously? You’re worrying about homework right now?”
“Yeah I am. School is the one thing I have going for me right now,” I snapped.
He put his hands up. “I’m sorry, (Y/n). I’ll still have them come over. We like having you there at practice anyways. Reminds us that at least someone likes to listen to us.” Micheal then mumbled, “Even if you’re doing homework the whole time.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing!” He gave me a cheeky grin. “You wanna play Halo with me while we wait for them?” He motioned to the TV.
I nodded with a small smile.
---------
I bobbed my head to the music the boys were playing while I was held up in the corner of the room. My math textbook opened demonstrating an example of the problem I was working on. The music stopped as I got halfway through. They started talking among themselves, but I paid no attention to what they were saying. They did this often to talk about the music and different things they could try.
Their voices died down as I finished up the problem I was on. When I looked up, I saw them all staring at me.
“What?” I asked.
“(Y/n),” Michael started.
“What?” I squinted my eyes at them suspiciously. 
“Will you order pizza?” Calum asked.
“Seriously guys? Why can’t you order your own pizza?” I whined.
“Because you order the best pizza,” Luke explained.
“Yeah, no one makes pizza orders like you. They always hit the spot,” Ashton patted his belly.
Agreements came from all of the boys.
“Fine,” I groaned. I hated talking on the phone. “Who’s paying for said pizza?”
They all looked among themselves. After having a silent conversation, Michael spoke up saying that he will. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled his debit card out. I sighed as I got up, grabbing my phone and headed over to Michael. I grabbed the card and started dialing to the pizza place.
“Any drinks or anything with the pizza?” 
“Do I look rich to you (Y/n)?” Michael shot out before anyone could say what else they wanted.
His behaviour made me snort. Michael always had a knack of making me feel better. Even though today’s events were still playing on repeat in my head, it moved to the back of my mind.
I stepped out of the room as I was ordering our food. They boys fell into easy conversation and it was a little noisy.
As I made my way back into the room, all their eyes were on me again.
“Umm… It’s ordered,” I announced. They just kept staring. Michael had a guilty look on his face. “What’s going on now?”
Calum was the first one to move. He set his bass down, walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him. Looking over at Michael, I gave him a quizzical look.
He scratched the back of his head and blushed before offering an explanation. “They sort of got out of me that you’re moving in.”
“You told them?” I shrieked, pulling out of Calum’s hug.
“No-” Michael started.
“He didn’t tell us everything!” Luke finished walking over to me. “Just that something happened you needed a place to live.”
“And we know how hard that must be for you,” Ashton added, getting up from where he sat.
Tears welled up in my eyes again and my heart sank. My knees gave out from under me. A sob bubbled out of my throat as I crumbled down to the floor. In an instant Michael was on the floor with me, pulling me into his side again.
Luke, Calum, and Ashton looked among each other, then down at me and Michael. They moved around us and lowered themselves down to the ground. They pulled me into a group hug with all of them.
“Don’t worry (Y/n), you have all of us,” Ashton murmured.
“We’re all here for you,” Calum added.
“You have a place to stay with all of us,” Luke comforted.
My crying reduced to sniffles as I took in their words. Maybe my mom didn’t have my back, but they did. They’re my real family.
“Michael, (Y/n), everyone, your pizza is here!” Michael’s mom called out.
Slowly we all slowly pulled ourselves off of the floor. Michael pulled me into another hug before he left to go grab the pizza.
When Michael came back with pizza and paper towels in hand, he came up to me so I could get the first slice. I pulled one slice and watched the melted cheese try to keep itself attached. Using my free hand, I broke the cheese. I started nibbling on my slice as he went to the rest of the boys who each grabbed two slices, placing their extra slice on a piece of paper towel.
I sat and listened to them joke around, giving them small smiles as they attempted to lighten the mood.
“You know what might help you feel better (Y/n)?” Calum asked looking at me.
“What?” My voice was hoarse.
“Writing in down,” he answered.
I couldn’t help but snort.
“That’s a great idea Calum!” Ashton piped up. “You can help us write a song!”
 “I don’t know about that. I mean, I don’t have any musical talent. That’s all you guys,” I whined.
Luke put his pizza down and moved to grab his notebook. He flipped it open to a blank page and handed it to me with a pencil. “Just try,” he said softly.
I looked over to Michael for back up. He was busy eating his pizza. When he saw me looking at him, he quickly swallowed before shrugging. “It’s worth a shot.”
I sighed and looked at the blank paper in my hands. “I don’t even know where to begin!”
“Here let me get you started,” Michael spoke walking up next to me. He took the notebook out of my hands and scribbled something down. Handing it back to me, he gave a half smile.
At the top of the page, he had written “Broken Home.”
I quickly wiped a tear that was rolling down my cheek before nodding. “Okay, I can work with this.”
Taking a deep breath I started thinking about my home life and what I was comfortable to write down for the boys to see. I thought about Troy, my mom’s boyfriend. Everything he did to both me and her. How he’s ruined everything.
I wrote down, “You ruined everything.” I quickly crossed it out after I wrote it, not happy with that line. Next I wrote, “Drunk,” and crossed that out too. Next I tried, “I'm stuck in between a nightmare and lost dreams.” That one stayed. “Only satisfied with a bottle in your hand,” was the next line to be written and crossed out.
I took another deep breath trying to think. The boys waited quietly for me to collect my thoughts. I then thought about my dad. I miss him. When I was ten, he and mom were fighting all the time until he had enough and walked out. I haven’t seen him since.
Turning back to the paper I wrote, “They would yell, they would scream, they were fighting it out.” I took a moment to read that line over again. I was pretty satisfied with it. Not knowing how to continue that specific line, I moved down a few lines before writing, “Hey, mom. Hey, dad. When did this end? When did you lose your happiness? I'm here alone inside of this broken home. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who really cares? The fault, the blame, the pain’s still there. I'm here alone inside of this broken home.”
The page was full with that. I sighed and handed the notebook back to Michael. He took it gingerly. He read over it, nodding his head. Once he was done, he handed it to Luke. As soon as it left his hands, he pulled me into a bear-hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist and breathed in his scent. I looked over to Luke, who had Ashton and Calum reading over his shoulder.
As Michael slowly pulled away, Calum spoke up, “This is really good.”
“Yeah, (Y/n)! And you said you couldn’t do it,” Ashton gave a cheeky grin.
I blushed, “You really think so?”
“Yeah!” they all agreed.
“Maybe we could make the letter part a chorus?” Micheal threw out.
“We can make that work. I actually have a melody that I’ve been working on. Want me to play it for you?” Luke offered, looking at me.
“Let’s hear it,” I nodded.
Luke handed the notebook to Calum before walking over to the keyboard in the corner of the room and started playing. The cords were actually really good. I couldn’t help the small smile that came to my face.
When he finished playing, he looked around at all of us, expectantly. I clapped my hands together, and he gave a small bow.
“Play it again,” Calum instructed.
Luke obliged. Calum started singing the words that I had written. I couldn’t help the tears that welled up in my eyes while listening to them. Once they were done I pulled both of them into a hug.
“Oh my god, guys. That was amazing!” I gushed. Tears were falling down my cheeks. “If you don’t put this in your album, I will never forgive you!”
They all laughed at my comment.
“It’s definitely going in,” Michael promised.
Suddenly Michael’s mom’s voice called out to us again, “It’s getting late, Michael, (Y/n). You have school tomorrow!”
We all groaned in unison before giving each other hugs, wishing each other a good night.
-----------
I jolted up out of bed in a cold sweat. My body felt like it was on fire. I gasped for air, trying to catch my breath. My eyes were greeted with the darkness of the room I was in. They burned yet again from tears.
I had another nightmare.
Kicking the blankets off of me, I swung my legs off the side of the bed. I put my face in my hands and started crying.
Is this my life now? Always crying. I’m so pathetic. How do the guys tolerate me? How does Michael? 
Michael.
I slowly slid off the bed. I walked out of the guest room and made my way down the hall. When I got to my destination, I found the door slightly ajar. Quietly I pushed my way in and headed over to Michael’s sleeping form.
He was snoring softly and had one arm hanging off his bed. I bent down and gently grabbed his arm. His skin was cool compared to mine. I shook his arm, whispering, “Mikey. Hey Michael.”
He groaned and pulled his arm away. Slowly rolling over, he looked at me.
“(Y/n)?” His voice was deep with sleep.
“Hey Mikey.” I gave a small smile at his sleepy form, wiping away stray tears from my eyes. “Sorry to wake you.”
“No, no. It’s okay,” he reassured, sitting up. “Are you okay?”
I paused before nodding. “I had a nightmare.”
He grabbed my hand with a soft, “Come here.” He slid his body toward the wall, pulling me with him. I complied and slid onto the bed next to him. He laid back down and pulled me into his chest. I fisted his shirt, trying to pull him closer as I listened to his steady heartbeat. His welcoming scent filled my nostrils. 
“What was it about?” he asked.
“I don’t really remember,” I answered honestly. Though I had an idea it was about Troy.
He replied with a small hum.
“I’ve been having them a lot lately,” I admitted.
Michael’s arm started moving as he rubbed my back. A comfortable silence fell between us.
After a minute of laying like that, he spoke up again. “It’s okay. I get nightmares too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
He let out a small laugh at my apology. “I’m not looking for sympathy, (Y/n). I was just letting you know that you’re not alone.”
“Thank you, Mikey.”
His arm stopped moving as he squashed me into his side.
Before I could stop myself, I asked, “Can I sleep here tonight?” Heat rose to my cheeks.
“Of course.”
I pulled myself up and kissed Michael on the cheek. Quickly I turned over and settled myself into his bed. I felt him adjust his body behind me before settling himself, throwing an arm around me and pulling me into his chest.
Exhausted from the long day and so far restless night, I quickly fell asleep in his arms.
-------------
I sighed as the warm water ran down my body. As I got my hair wet, I let my mind wander over the past few months.
The Clifford family was so nice to take me in. Especially someone like me. Someone so broken. They probably don’t even love me. No one can. My dad left me. My mom took her boyfriend’s side while he beat her and used me as he saw fit. They don’t love me. I could die and no one would care.
A hiss passed through my lips as I got pulled out of my thoughts. Someone in the house flushed a toilet and the water became scalding hot.
As the water cooled back down, I stared at the temperature control. I reached out and turned the heat all the way up. Quickly the water got hot again. I let the water hit my skin. Slowly it became red and angry with the siring pain. After a couple of minutes, the water started to cool down again.
“No,” I whispered. I needed more.
I deserve the pain.
My eyes wandered over to my razor that I use to shave my legs. I grabbed it and sat down on the floor of the tub. Without thinking too much about it, I pinched the skin on my thigh and slid the blades of my razor across it.
-------------
After carefully getting dressed once I got out of the shower, I made my way to Michael’s room. He was sitting on his bed continuing his play through of Halo. I plopped down on the bed next to him, crossing my legs.
“You were in the shower for a long time,” Michael stated.
“I had a lot on my mind,” I told half truthfully.
“Are you okay?”
I rubbed my face. “You know that’s a loaded question.”
Watching him play, an Elite stuck him with a grenade. Michael ran around screaming at the screen. When it finally blew up, he fell into my lap. Pain seared through my legs.
“Michael!” I hissed, pulling him off of me before standing up.
I turned to yell at him, but I was greeted with puppy eyes full of confusion. Anger from the sudden pain faded.
“(Y/n),” he whispered.
“Yes Michael?” I matched his volume.
“(Y/n)... I think… I think you’re bleeding.”
I looked down at my throbbing thighs. A little bit of blood on my right leg started to seep through my pants.
“Shit,” I muttered.
“Why are you bleeding?” 
“Don’t worry about it, Michael,” I sighed.
“(Y/n),” He said sternly. “Why are you bleeding?”
He got up from his bed and moved over to me. Grabbing my face with both of his hands, he looked down at me and searched my eyes. His grassy green eyes were full of worry. I wanted to cry for making him worry. However, my chest felt empty and no tears were coming.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Michael’s hands dropped from my face and he pulled me into his chest. My arms instinctively wrapped around him. His head fell into the crook of my neck. His cheeks were wet against my neck as he silently cried. I moved my hands, rubbing small circles into his back comforting him the best that I could.
I lost track of how long we stood there like that. Eventually he pulled away and moved to look me in the eyes again. The whites of his eyes were covered in red, matching his hair that we recently dyed. His green eyes stood out and were full of sadness. He moved his right hand to brush some hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. I couldn’t help myself but lean into his touch.
“I’m so sorry, (Y/n).”
“Why are you sorry?”
“I’m sorry that you feel this way. That you feel the need to harm yourself. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to stop you. I’m sorry that I can’t do more for you.” Another tear slipped down his face. I reached up and wiped it from his face.
“You do everything for me,” I said pulling him into another hug.
“How long?” He asked. His breath tickled my neck.
“Just this time.”
“Please promise… Promise me that you won’t do it again. If you ever feel the urge, please, please, please come to me,” he begged.
“I promise, Michael.” Seeing him like this, I knew that I’d do anything to make sure he doesn’t feel this way again.
He pulled out of my hug, nodding his head. He took my hands in his and guided me to the bed, motioning for me to sit down. I obliged and sat down. He held my hands a moment longer before dropping them.
He moved to leave his room, “I’m going to go get a first aid kit.”
“Okay,” my voice barely came out.
As I waited for Michael, I played with my fingers. Just as soon as he left, he came back with a small box in hand. He sat it on the bed next to me and pulled out some large bandages and some triple antibiotic ointment. He stepped back to look at me.
“What?” I asked after he started at me for a moment.
A hand moved to scratch the back of his neck. “You need to take off your pants.”
A small giggle bubbled out of my throat. “This is not the context I would picture you saying that.”
“(Y/n),” his voice was stern.
I stood up and started to take off my pants. The fabric of my jeans stuck to my fresh wounds. Carefully peeling them off, I finished taking them off. When I looked at Michael, he was staring at my thighs. Heat flooded my cheeks as I looked back down at the ground.
His hand was suddenly on my shoulder as he gently pushed me to sit back down. As soon as I was on the bed, he got to work. He used one finger to apply the ointment. With feather light touches, he traced the cuts. Once he was done with that he applied bandages to the deeper, thicker cuts.
With a sigh, he stood up and moved to his closet. He came back with a pair of black sweatpants. “Here,” he muttered, “These will be more comfortable than your jeans.”
I took them from his hands and slipped them on. They were soft, but very long on me. I had to pull them up above my hips and roll up the bottoms so they weren’t dragging on the ground.
“Thank you, Michael. For everything.”
He nodded.
After putting the ointment and remaining bandages back into the little box, he left his room again. I laid down on his bed, feeling very exhausted. I rolled over next to the wall, and faced the TV. 
When Michael came back, I opened my arms to him. “Can we cuddle?”
A small smile danced across his pink lips, “Of course.”
He came over and laid face up. One of his arms wrapped around me as I scooted into his side. I placed my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. My legs tangled with his. He moved his free hand to play with my hair. After a few minutes, my eyelids grew heavy.
“(Y/n)?” Michael’s voice broke the silence.
I hummed in response.
“Remember when Ashton, Calum, Luke, and I went to L.A. for a while to work on our music?”
“Yeah, and I missed the shit out of you guys.”
“Well, we’ve talked about it, and we’re going to move out there. I don’t know when. But I want you to come with us. Would you?”
“Of course, Mikey. You know I’d follow you anywhere,” I murmured as I slipped into a deep sleep.
-----------
“You know what’d be cool about living in this universe,” I motioned to the TV in front of us playing Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I was laying across the couch in Michael’s and my shared apartment in L.A. My head was in his lap, and he was running his fingers through my hair.
“What that? We’d have magic?” he guessed.
“Well that. But, you’d be able to change the colour of your hair at will! I wouldn’t have had to dye it all the time!” I explained.
Michael laughed.
“I’m serious!” I exclaimed, looking up at the blonde. His hair was now parted on the opposite side than he did when he was younger. “Maybe you could have hair that’d change according to your mood.”
Michael pulled a face. “That would be a terrible idea.”
“What? Why?” I ask, exasperated.
“Because then I couldn’t hide anything!”
“What would you have to hide?” I laughed, sitting up.
“I um, well I uh,” he stammered, blushing. After a moment he figured out what to say. “What if I pulled a prank on Snape? And he questions me about it? And I feel guilty or something?”
“Two things. One. Would you really feel guilty for pranking Snape? And two. What colour would guilt even be?”
“You’re right that I probably wouldn’t feel very guilty. And I don’t know. Maybe purple,” he shrugged.
“Maybe. I know people usually use pink for love, but I personally think purple would be love.”
“Then what would pink be?”
I paused for a moment to think. A grin spread across my lips, “Guilt.”
Michael laughed again. Suddenly his phone alarm goes off. He picks it up to turn off the loud noise.
“It’s time to get ready for Luke’s party,” he announced.
I groaned and spread across the couch again, putting my head back into Michael’s lap. “Or we can stay here,” I whined.
“As much as I’d love to stay here and keep watching Harry Potter with you, we told Luke we’d be there,” he chuckled.
“Tell him I got sick.”
“You were excited to go like a couple of hours ago! That’s why we put the movie on. To help distract you. Remember?”
He was right. I was excited to go to the party. I even bought a new outfit just for the occasion. But, I didn’t want to leave now. I just wanted to spend my night with Michael, curled up on the couch. I wanted his soft touches as he played with my hair.
“Why don’t you want to go now?” he asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I blushed and gave him a sheepish grin. “I don’t know, I’m just nervous now.”
“It’ll be fine (Y/n). Come on, let’s get ready.”
“Okay,” I groaned as I got up off the couch. I headed over to my room to get ready.
I closed the door behind me and got dressed. The purple top that I got had a lace pattern to it and showed off some of my cleavage. It went all the way down to my upper thighs. I matched it with black leggings and black knee high boots.
I headed over to my attached bathroom to put on some makeup. Michael was nice enough that when we moved in, he gave me the master bedroom.
I decided to keep it simple tonight. I applied some eyeliner and mascara. I then added some lip gloss to top it off. I looked at myself in the mirror. After quickly running a brush through my hair, I was pretty satisfied with how I looked.
“(Y/n), you almost ready?” a knock came from my door.
“I’m ready!” I called back and grabbed my purse.
When I opened the door, Michael was standing there in a red flannel shirt and ripped black skinny jeans. He accessorized it with black Converse, a black snapback that was on backwards, and silver cross earrings. He looked good.
His green eyes roamed over my body. My cheeks heated up under his gaze. “What do you think?” I asked.
His eyes snapped back up to my face. Pink dusted his cheeks as his tongue poked out briefly to wet his lips. “I like it. You should wear this outfit more often.”
A wide grin spread across my lips, “Thank you Mikey! Now let’s go!” I grabbed his hand and dragged him behind me as we headed out.
“You want to pick the music?” Michael asked me when I slid into the passenger seat of his car.
Instead of answering, I just plugged the aux cord into my phone. I went to Spotify and shuffled a playlist. “Broken Home” came on the speakers as he drove away. Usually I get emotional whenever this song comes on. This time, however, I smiled. I’ve come so far from where I was when they took me in. From when Michael helped me when I hurt myself.
I rubbed my hands over my thighs. A habit that I picked up whenever I thought about that accident. Michael noticed and stopped singing along to turn down the music.
“What’re you thinking about?” he asked, giving me a side glance before focusing on the road again.
“Just… everything! How far we’ve come. Like, I’m not a scared, hurt, little girl anymore. And I couldn’t have without you. You or the boys. You guys are my family, and I couldn’t be more thankful.”
Micheal reached over with his right hand and placed it on my knee. He rubbed small circles with his thumb. I put my hand on top of his.
“You’ve always had us, (Y/n). And you always will. Like how we know, that I know, that I have you.”
I beamed in his direction as he parked in front of Luke’s neighbor’s house. We got out of the car and started walking to the party. When we got to the door, Michael just opened it without knocking. We were greeted with loud music and dancing bodies.
We pushed ourselves through the makeshift dance floor. I spotted Ashton on the couch chatting up some girl. He looked up and saw us, and gave us a wave. I smiled and waved back. Michael took my hand as we continued our trek to the kitchen.
Once we got there, we were pulled into a hug by Luke. He already smelled of alcohol. “It’s about time you joined us!” he exclaimed excitedly.
“Sorry it took us so long. Someone,” Michael gestured towards me, “took forever to get ready.”
“I did not!” I laughed smacking his shoulder.
Luke gave us a wide grin before saying, “Doesn’t matter. Either way, you need to catch up.” He walked over to the freezer and pulled out an unopened bottle of vodka. “I was saving this for you guys because I know you hate tequila, Michael.”
“Thanks Luke,” Michael smiled.
“Where’s Calum at? I saw Ashton in the living room,” I mused.
“I think he’s outside, entertaining the people out there,” Luke explained.
“God, there’s more people out there? How many people did you invite?” Michael whined.
“Fifty? Maybe?” Luke shrugged.
“Jesus,” Michael muttered, pouring shots for me and him.
When both were poured, I grabbed mine, cheered Michael, and knocked it back. My throat burned as I exhaled. I couldn’t stop myself from scrunching up my face. Both Michael and Luke laughed at me.
“Do you have chasers?” I asked Luke sheepishly.
He nodded and pulled a half empty two liter bottle of Coke out of the fridge. He pointed at the red solo cups that were on the counter, “People were using this to make mixed drinks. But, you can use it as a chaser.”
“Thanks!” I took the soda from his hands and moved to pour myself a cup. 
Michael started to get another round for us ready. Once pour, I picked my soda up in one hand and the shot glass in the other.
“Cheers!” Michael clinked his shot glass against mine and swallowed the alcohol down.
I took a swig of my soda, then followed his lead. As soon as I swallowed mine, I took a couple of big gulps from my drink.
“Was that better?” Michael asked.
“Much. But, I think I’m done playing catch up. I’ll just have mixed drinks here on out.”
Michael nodded at my response and motioned for me to hand over my soda. I complied. He started to pour vodka into my Coke. He added at least two and a half shots into my drink.
“I said I wanted a mixed drink, not straight vodka!” I joked.
Michael gave me a cheeky grin. He then looked around the kitchen and asked, “Where’d Luke go?”
I glanced around. It was just the two of us in here. “He probably went to go find Sierra,” I shrugged.
“That’d make sense,” he replied, handing my drink back to me.
I took a couple of gulps of my drink. My face scrunched up instinctively again. “Wow, that’s strong.”
“You literally watched me pour it. You knew what you were getting into,” Michael laughed.
“Yeah, yeah,” I waved him off. “I wanna go dance!”
The alcohol was now flowing through my veins, and more than anything I just wanted to relax. To let my body flow to the loud music that was playing. Michael followed close behind me as I made my way into the living room. Once I found a spot on the improvised dance floor, I started swaying my hips. My drink was still in hand, so I couldn’t go too crazy.
I closed my eyes, enjoying the music that was playing. My hips started swinging a little wider, and I started flipping my head back and forth. I sang along with the words of the song.
I don’t know how much time passed when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I opened my eyes and looked around. Michael wasn’t next to me. I turned around and almost ran into Ashton’s chest.
“Ashton!” I cheered, throwing my free arm around his neck and pulled him into a hug.
He laughed and put his arms around my waist, hugging me back. When I pulled away, he kept his hands on my hips, keeping me close. I gave him a quizzing look. He gave me a dimpled smile before leaning down to explain, “You had some unwanted eyes on you. I came to save you.”
“Aww, what a prince charming,” I joked. “What about your lady friend I saw you with?”
He pushed some of his loose black curls back out of his face and returned his hand to my hip. He sighed, “She said she had to use the restroom. We’ll see if she comes back.”
“I’m sure she will. But aren’t you worried about her seeing us like this?”
He shrugged. “Nah, you’re family. You come first anyways.”
I smiled at his words before he continued. “It looks like I might be doing you more of a favour than I initially thought.”
“What do you mean?”
He looked past me. I followed his gaze behind me, slightly turning my body. Michael was there leaning against the wall, frowning. A busty brunette was talking to him, leaning slightly over to show off her chest. Michael, however, seemed more interested in his drink.
My heart dropped at the sight. I couldn’t tell if I was bothered more that Michael was upset or if it was because of the girl. My cheeks heated up in slight anger and my heart started racing.
When I turned back to Ashton, he laughed. “Don’t worry about her. He’s clearly not interested.”
“Yeah, but why is he so upset?”
“Because he saw us like this,” he looked down between us.
His hands were still resting on my hips. My right hand was pressed against his chest while my left hand was curled around my drink. The back on my hand on his chest as well.
“Why would he be upset about that?” I wondered out loud.
Ashton threw his head back and laughed. “(Y/n) I love you, but you are oblivious.”
“Then explain it to me!” I whined.
“Michael likes you.”
My heart skipped a beat. I chuckled nervously, “I’d hope he likes me! After all, I am his roommate.”
“No, I mean he has a crush on you.”
My cheeks were on fire with how much I was blushing now. The room seemed to spin a little faster than it did with the alcohol in my system. Luckily Ashton was holding on to me to keep me steady.
“You can’t be serious,” I replied doubtfully.
“I am!” Ashton chuckled. “And you claim to be a fan of our music. Listen to the songs, (Y/n). Some of them are about you.”
“What?! Which ones?”
“Most recently, “Better Man” and “Why Won’t You Love Me”. But there’s also “Disconnected”, “Just Saying”, “Heartbreak Girl”, and-”
“I get it!” I cut him off.
“You’re his muse. And I’m tired of seeing you two pining for each other and not doing anything about it!”
“Are my feelings that obvious?”
“Not necessarily. Michael doesn’t know. And we only know because we’ve known both of you for forever. Now go talk to him.”
I pulled him down into another hug, “Thank you, Ash.”
“You’re welcome,” he chuckled into my ear. “Now go get him.”
I pulled out of the embrace and chugged the rest of my drink. I turned around to find Michael, but he was gone from his spot against the wall. I frowned as I started wondering around looking for him.
I made my way to the kitchen again. When I walked in, I found Calum talking with a cute girl. She gave me a smile and a small wave when I walked in, making Calum look up at me.
“Sorry to interrupt,” I apologized.
“It’s not a problem, (Y/n),” he gave me an easy smile.
“Have you seen Michael?”
“Yeah, he was heading outside when we came in,” the girl spoke up.
Calum nodded in agreement.
“Thank you,” I waved walking past them toward the back door.
When I got outside, Michael was sitting on the edge of the porch with his legs dangling off. I walked over and sat next to him. The night air was cool against my skin. I scooted a little closer to Michael and put my head on his shoulder. He rested his head on top of mine.
Looking over the small backyard, there were a couple of groups of people chatting away with drinks in hand. They were laughing and having a good time. I spotted Luke among them with his arm wrapped behind Sierra’s waist.
“What’s wrong Mikey?” I finally broke the silence between us.
“I dunno,” he lied.
I hummed in response, not moving my head from his shoulder.
“So,” he started. “When did you and Ashton become a thing? And why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t tell you because we’re not a thing,” I giggled.
“Well, you looked more than friendly tonight.”
“Aww, would someone’s hair be green right now?” I referenced our conversation from earlier tonight.
Michael didn’t say anything.
“Well,” I continued, “he told me that there were a lot of predatory eyes on me. He was just protecting me.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. If my hair could change colours based on my mood, it would’ve been yellow in that moment because I was so happy and grateful. Nothing more than that though.” With the vodka and Ashton’s talk, I had the courage to add, “But right in this moment, my hair would be purple.”
Michael shot up his head off of mine. I lifted my head to look at him. His green eyes were searching mine. I licked my lips, which brought his attention down to my mouth. His tongue stuck out, mimicking my movements.
“Are… are you saying that-”
“Yes,” I cut him off, leaning in closer. “There’s nothing between Ashton and I. Or anyone, for that matter because I have you. There’s always been you.”
Michael’s hand gingerly brushed hair out of my face and cupped my cheek. I put my hand on top of his, holding it in place. He leaned down and placed his forehead against mine.
“Can I?” he whispered, eyes searching mine.
“Yes.”
My breath hitched when he closed his eyes and slowly closed this distance between us. As soon as his lips met mine, my eyes fluttered shut. His lips were slightly chapped as they moved against mine. My heart was racing, not able to believe what was happening. A moment later he pulled away, but continued resting his forehead against mine.
“Is this real?” I asked, refusing to open my eyes.
Michael let out a small laugh, “I was going to ask the same thing.” His thumb moved and rubbed against my bottom lip. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
“I have an idea,” I hummed.
Suddenly his lips were pressed against mine again. I couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.
A cheer could be heard from somewhere in the backyard. “It’s about time, you two!” Luke’s voice called out.
I had to pull away this time as a giggle bubbled out of my throat. I opened my eyes to Michael with a large goofy grin on his face. His eyes were bright.
“Can we go home now?” I asked.
He gave me a confused look.
“We haven’t cuddled properly in forever and I want to make up for lost time,” I explained.
“Yeah, we can go home,” he answered, kissing the top of my head.
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