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phoebehalliwell · 3 years

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how would you rank the seasons from least to most favourite?

alright okay right off the bat worst season season 7. for starters i think this season has no staying power i mean like since i’ve been running this blog 4 so long now my knowledge of charmed is encyclopedic and insanely vast more than like it ever need be but for the longest time. i could not remember season 7. like wtf even happened there?? evidently leo became human??? cole returned? the avatars??? like all of it was just. it’s not even necessarily forgettable it’s just i straight up could not remember it for the longest time. and i’ve said it before the concept of utopia was way to advanced for a show like charmed to tackle i am not watching charmed for moral philosophy i am watching bc i love these girls ♥ hee hee hoo hoo magic adventure ✨ tho if i am to offer a single comment on utopia: it’s awfully rich for a show to go on about destiny and fate and then take a stand against utopia in the name of free will. but w/e. i don’t like leo in the avatars i don’t like his dynamic with piper in this season i don’t like whatever phoebe’s doing this season there’s like leslie?? maybe there’s someone else? boring & flavorless they should have been setting up her endgame instead of puttering around. and kyle. zoo wee mama. could have been a great antihero. morally gray. duplicitous. self serving. but no. they gave him all those traits and called him hero/love interest. s7 left a lot to be desired out of the characters and their relationships also gave us phat L’s such as the charmed ones are werewolves don’t worry about it and feminism peaked with naked women. shout out to zankou: demon, dilf, dub & the noir episode.

you know what? fuck it i’ll say it second worse season 5 genuinely fuck season five. this is probably a Very Specific beef 2 me But. i hate what they did to the charmed universe. this was the season that marked the transition of charmed from supernatural drama to campy soap which like. i love camp! i do! but fr. fuck this season and what it did to the worldbuilding. the early season have Such A Vibe to them man with warlocks and witches and just a couple niche monsters from assorted lore that the show took and made their own. season five opens with mermaids goes directly into fairytales then gives us superheros whatever the fuck was going on in that mummy episode the sandman leprechauns and nymphs. and i hate it for that. it takes away from this urban fantasy things that go bump in the night what lurks in the shadows of the back alleys of san francisco in favor of the ugliest cinderella dress ever put to television and an onslaught of horrible irish accents for a full episode. other issues with season five: cole’s still here? why? they don’t know and neither will you! we’re not redeeming him! phoebe’s not getting back together with him! yes he died we just refuse to let him go! the cherry on top of course being a cole-centric 100th episode. shout out to. hmm. lemme think about what i actually liked about this season. i like jason dean as a love interest i don’t remember what he did in s5 but i know he was there. the season finale i’ve talked about how stupid & shitty it was but idc i still love that episode and then shout out to bacarra the only original villain this season that was a proper serve. the crone gets second place.

next on this come on we all saw it coming season 8. it’s a bad season! and i get bts there was a whole lot happening budget cuts missing actor etc. but it goes beyond that. it was a bad season. billie and christie were bad. and i’ve said this before but billie in herself is not an inherently bad character. she was just the literal worst for the show. she was a dollar store buffy blonde confident cocky skilled and ready 2 fight evil But. we are not following her like we followed buffy we are following her mentors. it’s like if we had a show called giles that aired for seven seasons And Then buffy showed up. billie was insanely irritating to watch from our perspective and in general wasn’t like. well written. attempts to humanize her / give her more depth often fell flat. and then christy. oh nelly. oh my god. barely a character. not well acted but hey it would have been a miracle if she was. negatives include dumain who was a mess omg bringing back the triad bringing back the source billie & christy obvi and also involving homeland security. which is season 7′s fault which is why it’s the worst. dubs on the other hand include both coop and henry i really liked them the shoehorned love interests weren’t great but i like their characters i though the way the got rid of leo to save on the budget was really creative and gave us a great piper episode and of course the sugary sweet finale i love it i do what can i say.

yet another controversial choice aptly coming in fourth is season 4. i respect what season 4 set out to do. i think it was a good idea. long form narratives, keeping a darker tone, focusing on character-driven drama and growth. too bad it fucking failed miserably at all of this. cole as the source and phoebe as the queen of hell was just so so botched. they had a very unique opportunity following the death of prue to explore these characters and what it means to them to be charmed, to be witches. they saved the world but the cost is insanely high. they’ve lost an older sister. they’ve gained a new sister. how do you even begin to cope with all this? episodes such as hell hath no fury and brain drain fuck so hard because they work with exactly that. had the whole season been like those episode season four would sit at number one with flying colors absolutely no competition. but alas. we can’t have nice things. the show got so bogged down with phoebe & cole, in a way that was just so, so messy. for starters, whether you loved cole or hated him before, we can all agree source!cole sucked. he was such a strong 180 from what we had seen that the show had to make the source some type of possession to justify half the shit they were trying to pull. and then to pit phoebe and paige against one another over a man was just. disgusting. and the ending of course felt rushed because it was! they wrapped up that entire issue in a nice little bow much faster than they reasonably should have been able to. it could have been a great season. it was definitely not. shout out to the seer an iconic mastermind on barbas levels, as previously stated brain drain and hell hath no fury Specific shout out to piper’s scene at prue’s grave shout out to paige as a character i like what they did with her and um. yeah that’s it.

okay we’re exiting the shit tier in favorite of the good tier welcome to the upper half. kicking us off is season 6. season 6 did what season 4 could not in that it gave us a long form plot that still left plenty of room for like. normal demon of the week episodes. i love phoebe early in this season with her faboo haircut her brand new empathy power and her relationship with jason dean. obvious strikes against for whatever the fuck that baby crazy stint was and also the mata hari episode. yikes. i love paige’s hair color in this season nothing paige as a character necessarily stands out to me however i like how they seem to have hit the blend of work-magic with paige where she wants a life and career outside of magic however she still loves the craft and embraces is with an open heart and mind. season six also gives us chris who was a very fun male lead imo we really didn’t have many like him he’s bitchy. he whines and bitches a lot he’s got an agenda he’s a bit secretive but at the end of the day he just wants a family i like him. i like the character growth we see out of piper i like seeing her try to move on from leo i love seeing her get back together with leo i like her dynamic with chris and her fears about motherhood. i also liked richard but that one takes a lot of justification. L’s are witchstock hyde school reunion used karma off the top of my head also the paige/richard/addiction plotline was so tone deaf. also the girls were mean to darryl : ( he deserved so much better. dubs were chris as a character, tbh the episode little monsters, phoebe with empathy specifically saying i love you too to jason i could write a dissertation on that line alone also the courtship of wyatt’s father and i thought the reveals of evil wyatt and chris being piper and leo’s son were both fun and interesting plot twists.

coming in third is actually season 2 a season i really do love it’s just. it lacks structure. imo there is a lot to love about season 2 morality bites and pardon my past are both delightful time travel episodes we get jack sheridan and bane jessup two of my personal favorite prue love interests we get p3 h2o and a great prue plotline regarding the death of patty we get the super cute cupid episode it’s a great. collection of episodes. it’s not a great season. there’s just imo not a strong enough thread connecting the stories together it’s mainly held together by having the same characters in it over and over again i really liked dan personally but like. i knew we were wasting time there. he was just an obstacle. a super cute loving and caring obstacle who’s great with kids but lbr piper and leo were always endgame. wasting our time on dan was stupid. i do love the sister dynamics in season two “gotta hand it to those pesky little demons they sure have brought us closer together” but again. this season could have benefitted from a rex and hannah type or even like a cole or zankou. this season is less of a season and more of just like a handful of episodes, and while there are some fat dubs, there are also some definite swings & misses. shout out to the time travel episodes the prue centric episodes phoebe’s character growth and maturity throughout this season (e.g. her going back to college) and i also think the fashion got a lot more fun this season.

second place i’m saying season one season one was a really strong start and gave us these really compelling characters with interesting relationships between one another But. a lot of it just kinda falls flat. and credit where credit is due it was a brand new show getting its feet under it but the fourth sister feats of clay which prue is it anyway they just simply aren’t dubs imo. also i don’t like that 70′s episode bc again i am an asshole concerned about The Lore i can’t believe one bitch ass warlock caused the Charmed Ones to grow up without powers. it just really bugs me. all in all the plots as a whole like aren’t great imo they’re nothing to write home about (save for from fear to eternity) it’s really the characters that make this season so goddamn good.

first place congratulations to the one the only season three. this is just because it kinda hits all my requirements in that it has some banger one offs (e.g. all halliwell’s eve, the good, the bad, and the cursed) it has an overarching plot at the exact same time as the source becomes more prominent and obvi cole is also there with murderous intent i like the character growth we see especially from prue i like piper and leo finally get married overall i really like the aesthetic of this season that blends a darker urban fantasy tone with still some charmed fashion and whimsy. strikes against tbh phoebe and cole’s relationship i am insanely picky with my enemies to lovers and the do not come remotely close to cutting the mustard in fact they are almost immediately disqualified however from afar i can see and respect The Drama. shout out to recasting victor prue with pistols death as a character and shannen directing episodes

#and of course this is a matter of opinion i'm not expecting everyone to agree w me Howver #i think you'd also be hard pressed to talk me out of my opinion #like the closer you get to the top there's more wiggle room like what's the best season i think changes with the wind #but the shit tier stays shit tier in my mind it's a matter of personal preference and i personally prefer my season to be good #charmed #💌

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dangermousie · 6 years

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Like Georgians, Jacobites and some of the most awesome romance novels? A Patricia Veryan pusher post

I have just discovered that Patricia Veryan, a writer of romance novels set in Georgian and Regency time, has had the bulk of her books reissued on kindle.

So this is a giant pusher post.

Who is Patricia Veryan, you may ask. She was a British writer of romance novels who was old school enough to belong to the style of Georgette Heyer and Jeffery Farnol (who deserves his own pusher post), instead of the newer but now old “bodice ripper, rapey” school like Woodiwiss, Rogers et al. Her novels have plots, no sex scenes and are swoonily, amazingly romantic. She also did her research and they feel like true period novels, not modern people in period clothes prancing about.

They are full of swashbuckling, angsty heroes with awful families, strong heroines fighting off villains, conspiracies unmasked, swords at dawn, tons of hero torture and gorgeousness. Does it sound good? It should.

As I mentioned above, she wrote both regencies and Georgians, but I am gonna talk about the latter series today, because they are all on kindle. Her two Georgian series are The Golden Chronicles (set in the aftermath of Bonnie Prince Charlie's 1745 uprising) and Tales of the Jeweled Men (ditto). TGC follow the supposed treasure that Bonnie Prince Charlie amassed to help his Rebellion, which disappears, and which now the good guys are trying to get to the donors and bad guys want for themselves. There are six books in the series (though there are two earlier books, Mistress of Willowale and The Wicked Widow, which tie into it too. MoW is not available on kindle but TWW is and is a delightful Georgian romp with a rakish, cynical hero who ends up adoring the spunky, cheerful, pragmatic heroine. I am rereading it RN). * Practice to Deceive - Penelope Montgomery always meant to marry Quentin Chandler but he went off and joined the Jacobite rebellion and her family died and she's stuck with her awful aunt and uncle. Quentin resurfaces when he comes to her for assistance but he gets captured by her psycho family and tortured for info about the treasure. Penelope rescues him and they go on the run. I loooove this book. Penny is not flighty or dim or anything but calm, a little reserved, very ladylike, yet awesome. And I have a crush on charming, funny, h/c magnet Quentin. My fave Veryan character, Roland Mathieson, first appears in this one as the bad guy's henchman who kinda wants Penelope. * Journey to Enchantment - the hero of this one is Penelope's brother Geoffrey and heroine a Scottish gal Prudence McTavish. I remember liking it OK (short version - Geoffrey is Jacobite Scarlet Pimpernel) but was not particularly in love. * The Tyrant - love this one. Phoebe Ramsay ends up being stuck in an engagement to Meredith Carruthers as a cover for some Jacobite-related smuggling. I love both fashionable, fun Phoebe and cool, common-sense, angstmuffin Mededith (we are introduced to the first but not the last of Veryan's horrific parents in this one - I am not sure whether I hate his father or his mother more) and we see more of Roland who actually ends up helping the lead couple, in a very ironic, standoffish way, while sneaking bad guy bits now and then. * Love Alters Not - super super super obsession. Dimity Cranford, in order to lead soldiers away from an injured Jacobite family friend, ends up in all sorts of complicated embroglios which ultimately lead her pretending to be someone else entirely, that someone a woman trying to disposess Sir Anthony Farrar, an English army captain in the late Rebellion, who has been ostracized by everyone for running at the battle of Prestopans, leading to the rout of his unit and *da-dun* making Dimity's brother crippled. So much angst and hurt/comfort and awesomeness, you have NO idea. I think Dimity/Anthony are my favorite Veryan OTP which is saying a huge huge deal. Also, I believe I was gibbering and screaming at my book during Anthony's trial. Roland appears again and this is the book I fell for him in - he's sort of Anthony's friend and is thoroughly delicious. * Cherished Enemy - follows Robert McTavish (Prudence's brother) and Rosamond Albritton, sister of a recurring character. Tbh, it's my least fave in the series, though I don't hate it or anything, so I don't remember it much. * The Dedicated Villain - LOOOOOOVE! Roland gets a book! And what a book! Roland is on the hunt for the Jacobite treasure, comes across a troupe of actors (or are they?), which includes the tiny (short ladies represent!) but fierce and awesome Fiona Bradford - will he actually change his mind about his obsession? The Dedicated Villain is my favorite of her Georgians (well, that, and Love Alters Not are probably tied). I mean, Roland and Fiona! This series actually manages to do a convincing job of moving Roland from villain to antihero to hero with me buying the transition; also it explains why he starts out the way he does without making it a full excuse. TDV is also one of the very few books that maxed out my hurt/comfort love - PV never really went much for h/c of the physical as opposed to emotional sort in general but Roland's torture scenes in TDV are beyond brutal, I was kinda reading through my fingers and bawling (one of my vivid memories is being high school age, sitting under a tree during the very hot summer, reading that stuff and sniffling). But oddly, it didn't feel gratuitous because it was sort of karma for some of the stuff he did, especially to Quentin in Practice to Deceive (though what happened to him was miles worse than what happened to Quentin). And props to Veryan for having the guts to give him permanent damage. Jeweled Men follows a nefarious conspiracy to take over certain strategic properties to stage an invasion and a bunch of sexay aristocrats who stumble on the plot and decide to fight it (think 18th century Pimpernel). * Time's Fool - follows Gideon Rossiter, a discharged officer who's just returned from the Continent, and his attempts to figure out why his family's properties and wealth imploded. Heroine is Naomi Lutonville, Gideon's erstwhile fiancee. I normally wouldn't like Naomi - she's high-maintenance and dramatic, but I adore her to bits. I ship them like crazy, too. * Had We Never Loved - my first Veryan! Clearly, I was impressed. Horatio Glendenning (remember Jacobite family friend in Love Alters Not? That's him) fought for Bonnie Prince Charlie so his future is not so good. His OTP is a feisty gypsy, Amy Consett, who is NOT discovered to be a Duke's daughter in disguise or anything. It's a lovely lovely book and they are a lovely lovely OTP. * Ask Me No Questions - Quentin's staid older brother Gordon gets his own books. There are all sorts of machinations, but this is not a huge favorite. Gordon and Ruth Allington are nice people but give me Penny and Quentin's humor and reckless courage any day. If you like nice and mature leads though, this one is for you. * A Shadow's Bliss - like amnesia? This book is for you. Ruth's amnesiac bro Jonathan tries to solve the mystery of a shipwreck he was involved in blah blah heroine is Jennifer Britewell and I literally remember nothing about her. Or Jonathan, for that matter, other than he has amnesia. The reason to read this book is the recurring characters of August Falcon, Jamie Morris, and Gwendolyn Rossiter. I read Jeweled Men as if was coming out and remember devouring each book for even the slightest hint of progress between cynical, cutting August and smart, unimpressed Gwendolyn - they are one of my fave Veryan OTPs, together with Dimity/Anthony, Roland/Fiona, and Mitchell/Charity from Sanguinet books. * Never Doubt I Love - Dimity's bro finds love. Once again, I was in it for finding out what makes August tick, Jamie's adoration of August's sis Katrina, and Gwen and August's sexy sparkle. It’s a good book on its own merits though and has a hero with a disability, which was unusual at the time. * The Mandarin of Mayfair - EEEE! EEEEE! I still remember pre-ordering this book and rolling in mad glee (hyperbole. Or is it?) August and Gwen get their own book, plus the conspiracy gets finally unmasked, there is kissing and hurt/comfort and gals being the ones to propose. The OTP is beyond amazing - August is so smart and lethal and functional despite his major issues arising out of the fact that as 1/4 Chinese he’s looked down as a mongrel by “polite” society (I love that Veryan's heroes never wallow), Gwendolyn is full of common-sense and rescues him from prisons and bad guys and won't let anyone bash him (himself included, but also their friends, which turn on him for spoilery reasons. I still have residual rage about it. Katrina, you are the worst sister ever and dead to me!) I think the ending is a little pat to resolve the very real issues he has with marrying Gwendolyn and dragging her into his life, but at that point they've been through so much hell, I didn't even care.

My favorite OTPs in her Georgian series are are four-way time between ladylike Penelope x incorrigible adventurer Quentin in PtD, tormented and self-abasing Anthony and fearless Dimity in LAN, reformed villain Roland x not really an actress Fiona in TDV, and deadly and messed up August x fearless and clever Gwen (btw, Gwen is a heroine with a disability, which, once again, was an unusual thing at the time.) Worst father award goes to Roland's father (die in a fire, please!) and worst mother is either August's or Meredith's. Coolest family is either Dimity's or Horatio's. Favorite brother-sister pair are Gwen and Gideon Rossiters.

Basically, you should go read them yesterday!

PS Disclaimer. I used to run a Veryan listserve in the really old days. So I am biased. But she is a rare author I am rereading 20 years later and still love.

PPS If you are a Veryan fan, come talk to me!

#books #book recs #patricia veryan #romance #romance novels #georgian romance novels #romance books

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bi-ahsoka · 6 years

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WILLOW I LOVE YOUR OCS SO MUCH!!!! CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DORKY SUPERHERO KIDS!!!! I LOVE THEM ALREADY!!! WHAT ARE THERE NAMES, GENDER, SEXUALITY, AGE, POWERS, RELATIONSHIPS, OCUPATION!!!! WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE RANDOM FACT ABOUT THEM!!!!

aw hell yeah ily wombat!!

so i honestly dont have a single Clue what’s happening in this universe?? like, at all? but i have some kids and i love them so here u go!! (partly under a cut bc it ended up being rly long oops)

unnamed main character (she/her, big gay)

technically probably an antihero?? bc i’m thinking this world has clear hero/villain distinctions

possibly an ex-sidekick who had something tragic happen to her (a la jason todd)

steals stuff occasionally but only from like billionaires or reverse archeology etc

has a great flirty banter thing happening with this one hero ;)) but they’re both bad at feelings

thinks she’s chaotic neutral; is probably chaotic good

i don’t know what her powers are yet or if she even has powers adlklksfask oops

gruff but extremely protective of ppl she loves. think izumi curtis but less valid

honestly idk anything abt her yet oops

elijah “kit” marlowe (he/they, bi as hell)

gay and stupid. Huge Frickin Dork.

their name’s elijah but instead of using eli they use kit…… bc they wanna be…… kit marlowe………… nerd…….

t e c h n i c a l l y mc’s sidekick but prefers the term INTERN

wears leather jackets + has a cool (ecofriendly!) motorcycle + looks very intimidating

until they open their mouth

100% gay nerd energy

BIG shakespeare nerd!!

running gag that they can’t decide on a proper codename

he has 2 supervillain moms!! they lov him a lot they’re good parents

they used a mixture of magic and superscience to make his transition a lot better/easier/more efficient

they kidnap mc after he goes to intern for her and are like Hey That’s Our Kid You Better Take Care Of Them

Litcherally shows up at mc’s door one day like “hey u need better security and also a sidekick hire me”

grows on her like a fungus and now they r!! family!!!!!!!

they’d die for each other + mc would kill for kit

incredibly powerful

kit is, quite literally, the personification of chaos

they kinda hate it.

they don’t want to be a destructive force; they don’t want to be nightmare fuel.

they try to avoid using their powers in fights if they can help it.

they’re honest and friendly and their temper is quick

they don’t hold grudges

kit is also mildly in love with…

helios (she/her, gaaay)

idk what her real name is but her superhero name is helios

she’s the sidekick of the hero

sun + fire powers

she glows gold when she’s using them and makes everything around her a lil warmer

but also don’t touch her if she’s furious she might burn your flesh off

she can fly!!

she and kit go to the same school and they’re Best Friends

they both know that the other is a super but they’re still best friends

if push came to shove and helios had the opportunity to capture kit (a known powered criminal)? she probably wouldn’t do it

kit would probably let her, tho

he wants her to do well as a super + he knows mc and his moms can break him out easily

honestly she kinda knows kit loves her but she doesn’t really wanna acknowledge it?? bc she’s confused abt her own feelings

think barry-and-iris: always meant for each other, but they don’t realize it for a while

she’s relatively quiet till you get to know her

kit is particularly good at getting her to smile or laugh!!

she’s patient, clever, starting to see the cracks in the superhero system

snapdragon (she/her, a lesbian)

a superhero sidekick a lil younger than helios; helios sees her as kind of a little sister

idealistic!! she’s probably the most *lawful* character out of this set so far

her powers are still developing but they’re plant related!

So Many Floral Hijabs. So Many.

she, helios, and kit are Non Christian Solidarity

i don’t know what the plot is gonna be but i wanna write more superhero stuff!! anyway. these r the kids so far hope you like them!!

#gosh this is long #willow writes #uhhh for now i'm gonna call this verse #be gay fight crimes #it was gonna be 'be gay do crimes' but that's actually a fairly common tag apparently

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gossipgirl2019-blog · 6 years

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'You': TV Review

New Post has been published on http://gr8gossip.xyz/you-tv-review/

'You': TV Review

Lifetime’s new stalking drama imagines what it would be like if Dan from ‘Gossip Girl’ became romantically obsessed with Serena and used social media as a key piece of his manipulation.

The romantic indulgence, or at least extended toleration, of male misbehavior has been one of the pillars of TV’s saturated moment known as Peak TV.

It wasn’t just the Don Drapers, Tony Sopranos, Walter Whites and Stringer Bells, the great antiheroes at the center of classic shows. Chuck Bass attempted to date-rape an underage girl in the pilot for Gossip Girl and was then presented as a romantic figure throughout the series, even after he treated his girlfriend as property in a trade for a hotel. Veronica Mars fans hastily bought into a redemption for Logan Echolls that nothing in the text ever allowed me to embrace. Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans accepted Spike’s questionable transition from murderous adversary to swoony love interest and even, in many cases, shrugged off an attempted rape. Even Dexter Morgan, with a body count in the dozens and a professed antipathy to all things amorous, went through a string of girlfriends.

It’s not incidental to the #MeToo conversation that TV has spent decades perpetuating the notion that no matter how bad the bad boy, rehabilitation and redemption were right around the corner.

The time is probably perfect for Lifetime’s You, an extremely watchable stalker drama with at least peripheral mindfulness of Hollywood’s tradition of writing women who get weak at the knees around men who, in any civilized society, would be walking restraining orders or worse. It shouldn’t be taken wholly as a negative that after five episodes, I still don’t know what to make of You or its tendency to throw provocative ideas on the table only to get distracted by the need or desire for aggressive narrative churn. The breathless pacing of You is what could well make it a juicy guilty pleasure for many viewers, but it falls short of the kind of thoughtfulness that could have made it special.

Adapted by Greg Berlanti and Sera Gamble from the novel by Caroline Kepnes, You stars Penn Badgley as Joe Goldberg, manager of a small bookstore who falls swiftly and somewhat inexplicably in love with customer Guinevere Beck (Elizabeth Lail), a graduate student and aspiring writer with questionable taste in men and friends and general life choices. Love at first sight, romantic comedies have long taught us, isn’t just acceptable — it’s aspirational. Joe, however, is not a romantic comedy hero. Rather than wooing our heroine through the usual interactions, he takes to social media to learn about Beck (as all her friends call her) and takes to stalking to learn even more about her, using his ill-gotten insight to pursue her in ways that rub Beck’s wealthy best friend, Peach (Shay Mitchell, delivering the show’s best performance as its most interesting character), and ultra-douchy boyfriend, Benji (Lou Taylor Pucci, amusingly transitioning from indie movie dweeb to cable TV heartthrob), the wrong way. They’re right to be concerned, because Joe can’t distinguish between love and obsession, and he has no boundaries when it comes to his willingness to manipulate his way into Beck’s heart. No boundaries. None.

Complicity is the name of the game when it comes to You, which draws its name from the second-person conversation Joe is having in his head with Beck, but also from the conversation the show wants to at least instigate with viewers. It’s not a coincidence that two of the drama’s biggest stars come from teen-friendly soaps that normalized all manner of romantic toxicity and that the third — that’d be Lail — could have come from a vending machine distributing attractive blondes in the Blake Lively/Ashley Benson vein. We know from films like Notting Hill and You’ve Got Mail that bookstores are petri dishes for love stories, and from countless movies that Brooklyn and other trendy New York City locations, shot only in a healthy gloaming glow — director Lee Toland Krieger sets a handsome template — are first dates waiting to happen. And we know from real life that cyber-stalking a potential conquest isn’t even “stalking” anymore. It’s a thing that’s practically necessary so that you don’t end up going out with a psycho.

Joe is a psycho. But he’s an amiable psycho and his internal monologue, which steers the show, is designed to be reasonable, with creepiness around the edges, rather than the reverse. By virtue of his decision to play the role of the “nice guy,” he has decided he’s more deserving of Beck than any of the men in her sphere. By virtue of the knowledge he’s gleaned from her Twitter and Facebook feeds, he’s decided he knows her better than she knows herself. Based on what he perceives as his own decency and what he perceives as his love for Beck, Joe has made himself the arbiter of moral behavior in her universe. If you think about it, it’s pretty much exactly what Dan Humphrey, Badgley’s character in Gossip Girl, did, or what he would have done if Chuck Bass were one of Dan Humphrey’s alternate personalities. It’s a part that could have been played more interestingly and believably by an actor with a less memorable bone structure, but there’s a chill in Badgley’s eyes that works nicely, and the producers must have loved the idea of an actor who comes with the baggage of previous roles.

Lail’s casting operates in exactly the opposite way. She’s familiar without being literally familiar — unless you really loved her brief arc on Once Upon a Time — and so the fun of her performance, in combination with the way the character is written, is that you’re constantly projecting the wrong things on her. The Beck that Joe sees, the Beck that her boyfriend Benji sees, the Beck that the audience sees are not exactly the same person. Depending on the scene, you can imagine her as innocent victim or a complicit Jezebel. If Lail’s performance feels fuzzy and indecisive, there’s a strong chance that’s intentional. Joe thinks he’s a man of depth and refinement and that his head has been turned by a woman who’s unique and special. And just as nothing would offend his sensibilities more than being told he’s just a garden-variety predator, it would be no boost to his ego to point out that he has predictably fallen for a rather basic cute blonde with daddy issues.

It’s a great starting point for a provocative story, yet after five episodes I keep waiting for You to do something challenging instead of well-executed variations on “Will he get caught?” suspense. The show doesn’t ask you to over-empathize with Joe, who seems to be a surprisingly placid sociopath, and that eliminates both “stalker handbook” and “effective character study” from its aspirations. He’s the only guy making anything in the show happen, so it’s hard to root for Joe’s demise. The episode in which Beck claims the POV voiceover for a while does little to enhance her interiority, and so she isn’t much of a protagonist either. You’d think that nobody would come away from these episodes rooting for Joe and Beck as a couple, but you’d have thought the same thing about Dexter Morgan and his adoptive sister, so one should never think too highly of the audience and its ability to resist the alleged magnetism of two pretty people making pretty kissy faces at each other.

If anything, You would be more incisive if it were trying harder to make us invest in this relationship, forcing genuine discomfort on viewers. Maybe that’s what the writers think they’re doing with Joe’s friendship with his young neighbor, whose abusive stepfather is the only person who recognizes Joe for who he is. If so, it isn’t working. The thing You does most successfully is stoke digital paranoia, reminding viewers that everything they post online establishes a footprint and maybe, to paraphrase Benjamin Franklin, an ounce of online modesty is worth a pound of not having Dan Humphrey from Gossip Girl stalk you. Unless you’re into that sort of thing, which is a confrontational perspective that You isn’t quite willing to address.

Part of me wants the show to yell at its audience, “This is the price you pay for watching young adult soap operas wrong!” And I know that You isn’t in that same storytelling business. It doesn’t have to be as blatant as it is, though. Look at the truly subversive work being done on Killing Eve when it comes to deconstructing the romanticizing of obsession, the allure of turning violence into another fashion accessory and the narrative upheaval that comes from a gender inversion of the bad-boy archetype. There’s a conversation that connects these two shows; Killing Eve‘s take on it is near great, while You settles for interesting and fun.

Cast: Penn Badgley, Elizabeth Lail, Shay Mitchell Creators: Greg Berlanti and Sera Gamble Based on the novel by Caroline Kepnes Showrunner: Sera Gamble Airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET/PT (Lifetime) Premieres Sept. 9

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bornfromscarletcords · 6 years

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Las Cordones De Nuestros Corazones (The Cords Of Our Hearts)

The following Is a werewolf production. It’s focus is a general observation of social sexiness, general naughtiness, the peculiarities of misusing one’s power especially in the workplace and especially-especially (twice for emphasis) in what some could consider erotic circumstances. As a disclaimer offense is not intended though most certainly imminent; werewolves are not cuddly pets, though when given some release from their restrictions, have a way knocking things off their feet, turning them this way and that, going up and down with them, then in then out, then in again until they can’t tell whether the difference between their insides and outsides. Again, your questioning and reproaching glances are entirely expected, you have been warned. Some names and circumstances have been flubbed (mildly altered), in short, we may or may not be lying; the world may never know.

Enter Alejandro Cariño, our protagonist, in a sense, though most of this story will probably revolve around the nature of antiheroes/antiheroines and or people who just sort keep skirting around the heavy hammer of justice, though with much style and passionate fire. Mr. Cariño, or as his female students, his boss the school president, and that weird janitor liked to call him “Señor Guapo” was a professor at a somewhat peculiar university. You see in this era, humans had gotten a little smarter than usual, and the members of the supernatural or preternatural, or just weird other than human categories were getting a little...well a lot dumber. Even if you’re battling a lemming carelessness can be your downfall, as so many would learn in this time. Anyway as a sort of preparation for what would be a rough transition from the shadows of mortal vigilance to potential “center stage” attention if you will, a series of insurance were pushed into motion. The most relevant, for the sake of this story, being the existence of multiple facilities of education dealing, primarily with the nurturing of weird ol’ nonhumans so that they wouldn’t hurt themselves every time they had to go buy milk from the grocery store or something. Was that not enough information, well tough nipples? This world ain’t fair. Well, anyway Alejandro sable melted in hot sexiness, melted in almond glazed muscles, dribbled on a redwood forest (for strong foundation) and then bound in debonair wolf wildness. He had flame, he had machismo, he had great curly hair he often kept pulled back in a wolf tail, no not a pony tail, you heard correctly. He was also on the slightly below average height side, but for some reason that just made woman see him as sensitive for some strange reason, like he’d be good at snuggling. Oh he was sensitive, sensitive to those choice and caressable fleshy regions of theirs. Alejandro taught some engineering, some botany, and some poetry, though he tried to limit his lyrical nature to the strumming of his guitar which always seemed to draw the ear of one pretty thing or another. He was every square inch of modern suaveness and though he didn’t look a day over twenty four, he listed himself as being something like forty-two, though Alejandro’s limitations had a way of escaping one’s attention when too inconvenient. In actuality he was probably something like a 1240, but who’s counting. How did he stay so mobile? Well he might say it was all his cardio, and his occasional enjoyment of veganism, if only for irony’s sake, though the attentive gaze would not have to look far to understand that old wolves had many tricks up their sleeves. The benefit and consequence of surviving so long when others did not.

Although much of a werewolf’s daily existence operated like a madman’s death indulging set of magical misdirection, like if a magician was giving his own eulogy while his corpse was still in the coffin; a degree of normalcy was not unattainable. In a world of miracles the impossible was eroded to nothing, though normalcy served as a shield or cloak more often than not. A bit of red smeared on your mouth around nosy neighbors? Don’t want to tell them about that annoying squirrel he was very much no longer amongst the living? Well then perhaps that red is just a lipstick malfunction and that strange odor the result of a new diet you’ve been trying. The latter being not exactly a lie.

There were many strange creatures at the university in which Alejandro served, known to the public as Cupid’s Eclipse University, in bold letters. In slightly smaller letters, almost imperceivable to most it read, School For Those Oddly Talented Few. As to where it was located, well you could say it moved around and, being honest, you were unlikely to find it anywhere near the surface. So artificial sky’s and cubed pseudo-dimensions aside, it was the picture of contemporary normalness...with magic…and an unusual amount of sexiness.

Alejandro’s students, the girls in particular, were precocious to say the least. There was a rather convoluted grading system that he still only knew in theory, and it wasn’t the strongest theory, so he could get anyone aged from 14 to 2000, though it typically capped at around 21 (as far as anyone admitted at least). He had a particular way of scooting most people below sixteen towards others professors, as he, quote “had endured enough trials in his day” unquote. You should note that he was from a different time, a very different time...though his questionable sanity aside, he seemed to meld into the modern world relatively well, at least well enough to receive a paycheck and charm sweet ladies. He got all manner of creatures whose minds he was allowed to shape, though it was their hearts and souls of which he was most passionate. From vampires to elves, gargoyles, succubi, you name it. Though to be honest, much of his attention was devoted to minding after what you might call his fan club. He did not particularly want a fan club, mind you, as too much organized attention on his activities could make simple indulgences evermore complicated. Still, with all their bouncing, growling, and maturation, he couldn’t exactly say he minded the heat that always seemed to be sparking his way. This fan club was almost entirely formed of wolf girls, which wasn’t to say he didn’t have admirers of other magical persuasions, it’s just that few creatures could band together in such an odd mixture of rivalry and friendship like a couple of werewolves.

Considering this fondness with which his students showed him, the president of the university had almost cornered him into serving as a representative for the werewolf identity group on campus. Being the wily wolf he was however he managed to escape such shackling responsibilities with a couple of flowers, candies and the sacrifice of serving as her personal chef for the evening. Few could escape a devastating blow to freedom like that one, perhaps it was because of all that time he spent with ghosts.

The regulars, so to speak comprised of Johanna, Camila, Olivia, Skylar, and Maddison. Johanna was more or less busting and blooming, her uniform barely able to contain that that soft yet supple and curvy personality of hers. Her heart beat to the rhythm of hot blooded awesome mounds of girl flesh. They were like melons Allah, forgive. She had hair falling about her frame like desert wind with a darkness to her skin which made it seem as if it too had been choicely baked with its arid heat. She was the most vocal, or at least the most physically expressive of the group, not afraid to shout down a crowd or tackle Alejandro in the most compromising of times and places.

Camila was more reserved though no less resourceful, she had a tendency to bait him into their exchanges or wait till he was cornered and foolishly mistook himself as being alone and capable of relaxation, then she’d pounce, occasionally trying to capture him with rope or stun him with a glimpse of her half naked body bound in swimsuits, or leather and such. Her hair was frizzy and had a brownish red tint. There was a little scar just along the bridge of her nose which only made her look more charming, in a sort of well humored librarian sort of way. She was all politeness and respectability until you let your guard down and you were bound to a chair with a now fully naked pseudo-adult covering you with all manner of moistness and steaming emotions. And her scent, oh, how she smelled so...consumable. Alejandro often prepared himself with a hand-towel to keep his manly sweat from overtaking him.

Olivia was on the short side with pleasing hips and a special sway or jiggle when she walked that always made Alejandro a little extra pleased when he dismissed her. She was prone to nervousness, a general aura of day-dreaming distractedness, and a folky sort of straightforward manner of speech which Alejandro could find endearing at the worst of times. Her hair was typically closely cropped with the occasional bang overtaking a side of her face. She comprised the majority of his least taxing interactions with his “club”. She was not one to make things particularly difficult, and though she often professed her love for him, the idea of touching him seemed to send her into a spin of heated hysterics that she often needed to sit down. This meant Alejandro’s usual gymnastics of lawsuit defying counter stalker techniques could rest a little easy as well, though he did make the pointed effort of forgetting her “dilemma” of touch with some harmless head petting or shoulder squeezing. She nearly melted, each and every time.

Although Alejandro was not unfamiliar to most werewolves, he was something of a mild legend, and had his share of horror stories, most of which involved him as the villain in question, the mysterious man, the clever old bastard, or the compromised yet fatedly risen...well hero is a bit of a stretch, but you could say ace in the hole. The last one had everything to do with the world’s unconscious need for underdogs, and few could be so thoroughly pushed under strange circumstances than Alejandro Cariño, be it a mob of deranged humans, a castle of monsters, a pack of feral wolves, silly vampires, not so silly vampires, or ounce upon ounce of hot girl flesh. More relevantly, although many werewolves would have heard a story or two about the man, Olivia had actually been from one of the packs he could recently claim. In fact, he was almost sure she had followed him to the University just to give him grief. She had wild messy hair cut short “like a boys” as her mother used to tell her. Her reasoning for her fascination with him was shaped as if she wished to be his apprentice in all things wolf and battle. As if he were some general and not her botany teacher. Well, he had been a general a time or two in the past, but those were lifetimes ago, and he had no interest in half killing some child wolfling because she was foolish enough to request “training” from him. He was a dangerous man, which is a humorous thing to say, though it was true. He was not from the time of such pleasantries as “harmless sparring” not really, the best fighters he’d ever known acquired their skills by being tossed onto a battlefield and being able to move a couple of days later. Nothing says eye of the tiger like getting shot in the ass with an arrow and still being to able to kill your way back to base camp. She expected regimens, and diets, and push ups or something, or some hidden technique or whatever. He could have given her these things, if only to amuse himself a little, but in truth he doubted how much they’d benefit her, and such a complicated spirit such as her needn’t be prodded too much in the wrong directions, lest she make an enemy loss to the ways of forgiveness. He did not want her senseless brutalization on his hands. Still this did not stop her from trying to all but assassinate him every time he was late for class, or made the mistake of leaving the room just a tad too slovenly. He had to admit it was entertaining to move around with her a little, she was fun to spin, and flip, or pin down here or there, and she was good at grappling, but then she’d get just a little too serious, and his wolf would break out of him a little and he would scare her just a little too bad and then she’d avoid him for a couple of days. He did not like scareing her but it was better than him accidentally snapping her neck because she felt he cheated in some confrontation he’d wanted no part in anyway. Still that sad puppy dog look nearly twisted his mean ol’ heart. She was built like an athlete and looked as if she was touched by iron.

Skylar, was not a werewolf, not precisely, though she was a young woman who could become a wolf. Her mother had named her Harmony, but she preferred the middle name which had been her father’s choice. Not because she disliked her mother, mostly because she figured she’d get mocked enough for the conventional parts of being a citizen of the world without her name sounding like a new brand of body-wash. Skylar was native american, her hair was shaggy, full, and fell down to her back though she wasn’t shy to putting it into interesting braids. Instead of taking about a quarter of an hour of pain and somewhat grotesque shifting of flesh which was the price of the change for most werewolves, Harmony...I mean Skylar could become a wolf from one second to the next. She had something of a shaman’s magic, medicine woman stuff, though that had more to do with why she was so savvy with balancing spirits or interpreting dreams than it did with the speed or ease of her shift. It may have had something to do with why she found it so simple to banish or recall her clothing when turning from woman to she-wolf and back, but it was not Alejandro’s culture or expertise. She was his responsibility however. Skylar did not have as many classes with him as some of the other girls, but she was his Advisee, and he her Advisor. If they were a spy network it be more or less as if he were her handler, doling out information of importance, and steering her down paths best suited to her skillset and interest. As it was they got along relatively well, she had a bit of a sternness to her which kept most idiots from getting in her way, though she was not against congenial, yet cautious conversation. She had the aura of someone who knew there were things to be feared, and did her best to avoid interacting with them, which didn’t mean she was a coward, more like peculiarly experienced. Yes, Alejandro sensed something like an old soul within her, as well as a steady, yet intense fire in her heart. She considered him to be interesting as well, which she let him know every now and then, usually before inviting him to some private property of her parents or some restaurant out in the middle of nowhere which would undoubtedly require stopping at a hotel for the night. Somehow he didn’t doubt that she could sabotage a vehicle without so much as blinking an eye, she had top marks in his engineering classes.

Maddison was not so much his daughter, but her father, a close friend and in many ways a brother, had more or less entrusted her to him with punishment of torment, to the grave and beyond should any permanent harm befall her. Alejandro tried not to entertain the man’s nonsense too much but he knew how to make a, not so much a threat, but a spooky promise, and Alejandro was already terrified enough of airplanes, he’d been in too many aerial crashes to ever feel safe off the ground, so he didn’t want to worry about his strange friend blowing up his space heater or blaming him for some crime against some national government in which there was a good chance he was not responsible for. Like a twenty-eighty ratio, maybe forty-sixty if it got too close to rome, or the dutch. Maddison had a mane of golden locks so much that he often contented himself by buying bear themed paraphernalia for her so that she might resemble the fairy tail just a little more. She had freckles, and a cute way of scrunching up her nose when she was angry. She was also a mean little fighter like if Camilla's disturbing sense for positioning her prey met Olivia’s brutish grit. When he wasn’t proud he was scared she might try to kill him in his sleep. She had her own dorm, but she seemed to find a degree of comfort in sleeping at the spare room in Alejandro’s apartment. It was a little tense given how dominant she was but he had to admit he didn’t hate when the lil’ tike was around. It was like having a partner in crime, or a deadly teddy bear. She was only about fifteen but of the five she may have been the most dangerous. His friend had the misfortune of sexing up a witch, and so the girl inherited a bit of her mother’s magic, and witch magic was a triple edged sword on the best of days. More like a bomb of corrosives than the skeleton key many tried to pretend it to be. Her wolf seemed to balance it well, but it could only be expected to do so much; balancing her regular tides of emotions would take a swat team. Alejandro was not fool enough to ignore the tinge of possessiveness that seemed to linger in most of their interactions. She did not like the attention other women payed him and seemed to like to make it clear to the other members of the “club” that she more or less got VIP access to his more private moments. Alejandro didn’t mind this exactly as it usually distracted them from whatever plan they were making on assaulting his person instead focusing on battling each other.

Oh how beautiful they were, so radiant and dark and divine, well, Maddison was more creamy than dark but still, she held his heart just the same. They were his joys, his prides, his candles in the night, and he was sure that by the end of this they’d be his deaths.

Fariha, a vampire and one of his fellow faculty members seemed to find it particularly humorous to watch him dance around campus, avoiding one compromising collision or another. She was a vampire, and she owed her deep warm colors, pleasing voice, simple yet fashionable clothing, diversely balanced disposition to India, where she’d been born and raised. She wore her hair in long braids when her head went uncovered, though if Alejandro had to say, she looked more like a shaolin monk than a delicate wallflower, though she’d have been just as sexy either way. So many of his fantasies involved stripping her down, physically, emotionally, maybe both if his wolf was burning just right. The two had settled into something of a veiled rivalry with each trying to tempt the other with as little overt effort as possible. On hot nights he’d wear a red v-neck which all but sent her blood boiling as she crossed and uncrossed her legs trying to get some letter typed while trying not to stare in his direction, looking both pleased and pouty. She would often counter by using him as a place marker in the meal hall, claiming that he’d been saving his place in line, but before he could object or even dream about being aggravated, she’d press her curves all along the shape of his body talking about “what a crowded line” or how she “just needed to warm up a little”. For all his strength he considered forcing her then and there. Oh how he pleaded with Allah to smite whoever had made jeans such painfully restrictive clothing. He walked with a bit of an awkward hunch many of those nights.

#Spicy Wolf-Girls So Much Flame Hot Blood Paradise In Fallen Dreams

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