#reminder that sales are still open but they're going fast!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for giving a random guy my friend's phone number?

(🍫📲 to find later)

I (22 NB/F) was working one day at my place of work by going around and putting various items for sale where they belong in the store, as well as taking out the recycling. As I was making my way up to the front of the store so I could go to break, this older gentleman needed help reaching something. I helped him pull it down, but before I continued I was stopped by this other kid. He had a healthy-looking emo haircut and wardrobe, so I didn't think too much about it at the time. I kid you not, his eyes were big and wide like some kind of bishounen anime (idk if I spelled that right). Literally looked straight out of one almost, he reminded me of an excited puppy too.

"Hello! Do you need help with something?"

"Uh- actually, I was wondering if I could have your Snapchat?"

I was completely gobsmacked.

"Uh- I don't have a snap chat." A lie, but only because my snap is exclusively for my BFFEAE (Best Friend For Ever And Ever). I don't pass it out to my coworkers, family, or any other friends. Just her.

"Can I have your number then?"

Usually guys don't like. Spend this long on me. I'm Demiromantic and Asexual, and for those who don't know, that means I have no interest in having sex with anyone and have no interest in dating anyone but close friends. I never thought I'd be in this situation. Ever. The idea of anyone asking me out of the fucking blue for this is so far out of left field for my expectations that I was just staring awkwardly at him for a moment.

"... unless... age is an issue?"

"Ah- no, I am 22, but I'm just not interested in a relationship right now."

And it's the truth, honestly. My mental health has been a rollercoaster of emotions and schedules that I've been struggling to maintain for months. I did have one at the beginning of the year, but dropped it because I realized I couldn't trust my lover (he was extremely conservative, and I had to hide a lot of my life from him, but it was nice while it lasted honestly. Broke up on good terms).

"That's okay. Maybe we can just hang out sometime or something."

I'll be honest, I haven't been in good health to try a brand new friendship with a complete stranger either (I have horrid social anxiety to the point where I am basically a shit in hermit, and with everything going on in my life I don't think I can handle pushing my anxiety well).

Now, years ago, when me and my BFFEAE first moved to different states, we agreed that we could use each other's phone numbers to give out if we couldn't handle it or just wanted the guy to leave us alone. We have each other permission to pretend to be each other for it, that way they're more likely to listen thinking it's you saying "no thanks" instead of her friend saying "get off her back".

So in the span of ten seconds, because this kid was really sweet and I was still pretty shocked this was even happening, I was giving my friend's number to this sparkly-eyed kid (idk how old he was but I assumed he was younger than me, that's just my natural assumption honestly) and continued on with my work day. I told him a semi-common nickname of mine instead of my actual name bc my name is hard to spell and I didn't feel like putting much time into it.

Of course, immediately after I called my friend up and left her a message saying I passed her to this really sweet kid and to be kind with him (she's a protective mama bear kind of person) but that I simply wasn't interested and didn't have the right mindspace for a new anything.

Fast forward to when I get off work and check in with my friend, she and the kid had been chatting back and forth. Apparently he was into drugs (I have sensory issues and can't handle that kind of thing, so I feel like I've actually dodged a bullet) but was getting along really well with her otherwise. We got chatting about it when I confirmed that I'm not open to hanging out with him and that as long as she's kind and doesn't try to set me up with him or anything, I'm fine with her discussing whatever with him.

"I get it girl, we all get like that for a time. I'll keep it away from ya.

By the way, he thought you gave him a random number. He was SOO excited when I responded as you lol"

I felt absolutely sick and was horrified. I figured he would have been like "sick", but apparently he had been like "FUCK YEAH". I feel horrible for deceiving him like this, but I genuinely am in no spot where I can mentally handle picking up a new friendship, much less a romantic relationship. It doesn't help that he genuinely caught me off guard, and passing him her number was my first response to handling it.

Am I the asshole for doing this?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[uncannycookie]

You are the entire reason I ship terumob. They're so cute. I love your writting and it's amazing. So far my favorite is Of Nearly Letting Go. It's a damn shame ONE never got to the aftermath of the mogami arc. :o It said you were looking for writing prompts?? Maybe Chapter 9 but from Teru's perspective?? It'd be interesting to see his internal thoughts of the big reveal

Ahhh sorry it took me so long to get to this! 

I tried rewriting scenes before, but I just can’t quite make it interesting enough when all the dialogue is already established. SO. I hope you don’t mind that I adjusted your prompt a tiny bit… now it’s the aftermath of chapter 9 from Teru’s POV.

I really hope you like it, and thank you so so much for the prompt and for reading my fics!!

AO3 link

In Liminal Space

Teru has no idea what kind of book he's holding right now. He was looking at the shelf pretending to pick one out for at least a few minutes, but if he was actually expending any energy on reading through the titles, he immediately forgot about them again.The only thing he knows is that it's large and heavy and shaking in his hands.Teru is absolutely no stranger to the sensation of wanting to kick his past self right in the teeth an indefinite number of times. But it's a relatively new twist that he would feel it this strongly about a past self that's only a few weeks old. He was under the impression by now that he'd gotten better than that.Yet here he is, playing through a past argument in his mind again and again, remembering this bitter, satisfied sense of superiority when he brought up the cats to prove a point. And now it just makes bile collect at the back of his mouth.

The book covers are slowly bending in his hands, pages fanning open and pressing against his fingers in a way that he knows will give him paper cuts if he just moves his hands a certain way.With a hard breath, he puts the book down. Leans closer to the bed, his elbows making the mattress dip slightly, and props his chin up on it just a few inches away from Shigeo's face.It's burrowed deep into the pillows and covered up to the nose in blankets. Teru can hardly see any part of him except a worryingly flushed cheek and one closed eye, almost entirely hidden behind a thick curtain of hair. Near his nose on the pillow, the blankets are bundled up where he must be holding them in his fist. His knees are drawn up all the way to his chest. It makes him seem so small that Teru has to swallow past a traitorous scratch in his throat.It was maybe five minutes ago that Shigeo curled up here and tucked himself in, but his breathing is already deep and even.Teru's hands, empty now that the book is lying forgotten on the floor, must have wandered towards the hem of the top blanket all by themselves at some point. Now they're pulling it further up Shigeo's shoulders, which are covered in two layers of thick blankets already ‒ but it was not even a few hours ago that there were small ice crystals stuck in black hair and eyebrows, that pale toes and lips and fingertips were turning blue. Teru is entirely governed by the senseless urge to keep him warm right now.(Safe.)He makes sure to keep his grip light and soft, to not do anything that might wake him up. Which is yet another reason to not let his hands wander even further up and run his fingers through his hair. Apart from possibly waking him, that might also be just a tiny bit creepy.Teru still keeps his fingers curled around the edge of the blanket for a few seconds too long. He's never used this one before. He's spent a lot of time telling himself he bought it simply because he liked the pattern of purple and blue circles and that it had nothing to do with how it reminded him of someone.His legs are starting to hurt. He's been kneeling on the floor in front of the bed for a few minutes now. For some reason, his muscles are trembling with an odd strain.Well, no, not for some reason, he knows the reason. They just had a half hour long talk about the reason.The more calm and quiet Shigeo's breathing becomes, the more Teru's own is picking up, hitching uncomfortably, pressing a sensation of dry cold into the roof of his mouth. He's been trying ‒ albeit not all that successfully - to keep his own feelings on the issue somewhat contained. It's not about him after all. He's supposed to be just the supporting cast, literally.But now it's quiet and his mind is running away with images of blood and loneliness and dead cats and Shigeo right in the middle of it.He pushes himself upright, too fast, too jumpy, and the edge of the futon behind him gets caught on his heel and nearly trips him up.He should get some shopping done. It's the perfect time and he needs to anyway. There is nothing edible left in his fridge, there is nothing else to do in here and it's silent and it's making him itch on the inside.The pajama bottoms he's wearing are just plain enough to not be too embarrassing to wear outside. He still grabs a scarf and a long coat to hide most of his questionable outfit, as if he would even meet anyone at this hour who would care. There is a small shopping list pinned to the magnet board by the door, but he hasn't added anything to it in at least two weeks, so it's pretty useless. He'll know what to get when he sees it.

At some point between two and five in the morning, the twenty-four-hour convenience store becomes a weird place.

There is a small group of drunks pretending to be sober in front of the entrance, too absorbed in their surprisingly sophisticated discussion about artificial intelligence and the nature of human consciousness to really pay him any mind as he walks past them.There is that sales clerk behind the counter that Teru would swear is a different person every time, but who still nods at him as if in recognition whenever he comes here.There is the quiet, cheerful and relaxed music slithering through the air above him. He knows it's exactly the same music as during the day, but it sounds slower now, more tinny, just as the lighting appears colder when the windows are tinted dark from outside.The shelves are loaded with wares that he's sure he never sees here any other time. That chocolate bar in front of him is from a brand that was discontinued years ago. He drops it into the basket hanging from the crook of his arm.Only distantly, the realization bumps into him that he brought his cash card with him. That's usually a bad idea for night time shopping, as he's had to learn the hard way. He stops in front of the refrigerators, fumbles the card out of its usual place in his wallet and crams it into another slot along with four other cards. If it gets to the point where he has to either spend an awkwardly long time pulling it out of there again at the register or just put a few items back instead, this might help him to make the more sensible decision.It's already a challenge to fit it in there at all, because his hands don't want to stop trembling.Teru remembers this one summer camp from when he was a kid. Camping in the woods somewhere, with lots of child friendly survival training, tying knots, fishing, making camp fires. Nothing he was particularly good at or interested in.He was already spoiled back then, already convinced he was better, only he hadn't figured out yet how to distract from his rough edges with the thick padding of charm that is his second nature today. Hadn't figured out how to be mean and arrogant and make people like him for it.Those were three weeks stuck in the woods without friends, without anything nice to do. Three weeks with even the adults there not willing to indulge him anymore, three weeks of being the singular most disliked person in a group of twenty.He managed to stay angry while he was there. To yell at the other children when they hid bugs and snakes in his bedroll, to argue with the adults when they put him on cleaning duty the fifth time in a row, to loudly defend himself every time he alone was forced to carry the blame for their "roughhousing," to barge in filled with rage whenever he caught a group of other kids making fun of him behind his back.And then, when his mother came to pick him up, he ran to her so fast that he fell and knocked out a part of his front tooth on a rock. Even though it was still humiliating, he could at least leave the other children behind knowing they'd think he was bawling his eyes out because of that.And it might be a stupid little thing - a stupid little story, one where maybe every other person can tell at least one similar to it from their own childhood. It's probably the most normal thing, Teru doesn't know.

He does know that it formed him. That it was one of the things that had him trying harder to be popular. It was three weeks of loneliness that he was not going to let himself experience ever again.He can't even begin to wrap his mind around six months.Should probably not even think of comparing one unpleasant three week camping trip to six months of ‒  A hot lurching sensation invades his chest and he has to breathe it away harshly, squaring his shoulders and filling his lungs with as much air as he can. There is a word for what was done to Shigeo there, hovering at the edge of his mind, but he doesn't want to think it, wants to keep it neatly in between the lines of Shigeo's story, where the storyteller himself likely didn't even notice it.Teru is clutching the handle of the refrigerator door in front of him, maybe a bit too hard, and staring right past his reflection in the glass. He's trying to remember... he feels like he's hanging off kilter, jarring conversation snippets clinging to his mind the way a catchy but awful song would, only it's Shigeo's soft, kind voice declaring that "it's not so bad," and "it wasn't real," and "it was so long ago."And Teru is trying so hard to remember if he even answered anything. If he made sure, absolutely certain, that Shigeo knows it was real and it matters.He doesn't think he did.What a joke he is. There was the most basic sort of reassurance he could have provided, just a few strict words he could have said to offer some basic validation, and he was too busy feeling horrified to even attempt it. All this time that he spent trying to get Shigeo to open up, to just fucking talk to him, and when he finally does, Teru is completely useless.A derogatory chuckle escapes him, falls against the glass in front of him and spreads light fog over it. Teru is leaning so close to it that his entire vision is buried in white.Will he ever learn not to do this? To not think himself so much better, so far above failure? It was only ever about making Shigeo trust him, breaking him out of this self-inflicted prison where apparently it wasn't appropriate to acknowledge that he is not okay.And that was it. The end goal. He hadn't even bothered to think past that. Hadn't even considered the possibility that maybe he wouldn't come up with a solution right on the spot, that maybe he wouldn't be able to fix it.That he wouldn't be able to help.With a small snapping sound, the door handle fractures under his hand and he hastily lets go. The shelf behind him would have made it impossible for the clerk to see, but Teru still throws a nervous look over his shoulder and then quickly walks a bit further up the aisle.What even is it with him and refrigerators lately.He sighs loudly, pulls a hand over his face and rubs his eyes until he sees stars. Groceries. That's why he's here. He should stop letting himself get distracted. The drunks from outside have entered the store by now and are wandering along the aisles. Teru makes sure to keep a few steps between them and himself. They seem pretty harmless, but it's hard to tell sometimes and he doesn't want to risk a confrontation. Not today.Two of them are holding hands while they stumble through the store.Teru stares for maybe a second too long. His own hand twitches around empty air, senselessly grasping for the memory of a touch. It's not that he thought Shigeo reaching out to hold his hand was ever about more than simple comfort. He knows it couldn't mean anything else. Teru started that whole thing, offered it as a solution for a problem he barely understood, and that's all it's been ever since.He always enjoyed it. Was always feeling weirdly proud and special whenever Shigeo's fingers would quietly slip between his own as if that was something they did all the time. Teru savored those instances of something almost intimate between them. He knew it was only happening because something had upset Shigeo, but he felt trusted and useful, felt like he was actually doing something to help. At least it never seemed as if it wasn't helping.And all this time, while Teru was walking along in blissful ignorance, proud that he was doing just a small thing to make a small problem go away - this had been on Shigeo's mind. Memories of - of cats dying and of Shigeo dying and of Shigeo being alone, and hated, and helpless...Teru presses his palm to his forehead, hard, if only to stop himself from punching something.The handholding drunks are looking at him in concern. "Kid," one of them says, hardly even slurring, "you feeling alright? Drink some water, we're getting some water right now. Water helps. Hey!" They turn and gesture towards one of their friends already at the register. "Hiro! Get, get some extra water for the kid, yeah? He doesn't look so good, kid, you really don't look so good.""I'm fine, thank you," Teru bites at them and quickly adjusts his hand gesture so it looks like he was just going to brush the hair out of his face. He means to send a smile along afterwards, but it feels more like a strained grin and he is surprised that it still seems to work somehow. The drunk points at him with a stern frown. "If you're sure," they say, already turning away. "Gotta take care of yourself, you know."Teru waves them off with barely contained annoyance and flees to another aisle.Right, so, time to concentrate. All he has in his basket so far is a possibly ancient chocolate bar that he should probably put back. He'll do that when he gets back around to the front of the store. For now, he should prioritize what he needs in his head, pick the most important stuff first and leave what he can't afford right now for later. A gentle buzzing feeling is ghosting over his skin, urging him into action. He hasn't gotten anything done for way too long now.He'll have to make breakfast for Shigeo tomorrow, so the first priority is milk. Two cartons, just to be safe. He still has some coffee powder at home, but no marshmallows. There have to be marshmallows. Teru instinctively reaches for his standard ones, but snaps himself out of it just in time. They're cat-shaped. It's like he's trying to be an asshole now. Grinding his teeth for a second, he gets the more expensive ones instead, the ones that just have dog and bear shapes in different colors.Also, he should make pancakes. The thought barely strikes him before he's already collecting everything he needs, hardly even realizing how he gets from one side of the store to another. Every movement feels a bit too erratic, too sudden. Only in front of the shelf with the syrup does he stop for a moment, searching deep in his memory for any inkling of what Shigeo's favorite is. He doesn't know. Does he even like syrup at all? Teru ends up getting all four he's looking at. Just to be safe.The drunks have left the store. The music stopped playing for some reason. The sudden silence makes Teru hurry up even more. When he's standing at the register, he realizes that he doesn't have enough cash to pay for everything. He doesn't even consider putting anything back and instead spends about half a minute fumbling his bank card back out of his wallet.The clerk accepts it with a wide-eyed look. Teru raises an eyebrow at him and there is an odd, slow moment where they just stare at each other.Then, as he notices a little leftover flare of his own aura, Teru realizes he probably doesn't remember how he got around the store just now because he might have been using telekinesis to do it.... oops.The clerk has slipped back into his work routine by now, quietly ringing him up and handing the card and his shopping bags to him. The light perspiration on his forehead and the enormous question mark in his eyes are the only indicator that he's even remotely uncomfortable.Teru takes the bags and aimlessly waves one hand around at the store behind him. "So you noticed that too, huh?" he says with a forced casual tone. "Seems to be some weird haunting going on here. Maybe think about hiring an exorcist." Then he hurries towards the exit, paying extra attention to his feet and that they stay on the ground. He hasn't slipped up like that since forever ago. Apparently he's very tired, even though he doesn't really feel like it anymore.On a garbage can next to the exit sits a single, unopened water bottle with a post it note on it. "Water is healthy, kid!" it reads. Teru blinks at it for a moment, before quickly walking past it.He is nervous on the whole way back to his apartment. Like an itch in his throat that he has to try and swallow again and again to make it go away for at least a few seconds. Dawn is slowly approaching when he unlocks the front door and closes it behind him to the first sounds of chirping birds. It hasn't registered until now that it's not really nighttime anymore, that his late shopping trip switched to an early shopping trip somewhere along the way. That's worse, that's so much worse. What if Shigeo woke up already while Teru wasn't there? Woke up to an empty apartment, alone and abandoned, right after the sort of talk they just had?Teru rushes up the stairs taking three steps at once, the railing shakes and creaks loudly under his grip. The content of the shopping bags would have long since spilled all over the staircase if he didn't keep it inside with his powers.His fingers are shaking when searching for his keys.

He knows he locked the door and windows properly before he left, but spirits can still get in. Why didn't he think of that?

He's never seen many spirits, none actually before meeting Shigeo, and he's certainly never had to be afraid of them.

But suddenly there is a spirit that managed to overwhelm the strongest person he ever met, a mere spirit with enough power to blur the lines of reality and the mind. A spirit that, as far as he knows, is still alive somewhere and still watching Shigeo.Finally he unlocks the door. It slips from his grip and crashes into the wall of the hallway. Teru barely catches it in time as it swings back at him, but then tries to close it as quickly and quietly as he can. The bags slip from his hands and right to the floor, he kicks off his shoes and jumps over them, dashing to the living room.He feels unhinged, suddenly, his muscles twitching weirdly and making him move in ways he doesn't want to. There are no spirits nearby, he can feel that, but there is still that thought clawing at the back of his neck that he left Shigeo alone and if something happened to him then it's his fault, he needs to make sure he's still there and safe and warm -With his socked feet, the sudden stop at the door to the living room almost has him sliding to the side and falling, but he catches the door frame just in time to keep himself upright.Shigeo is still there.

In fact, he hasn't moved at all since Teru left. His knees are still drawn up to his chest, his hand still curled around the blankets, his face still buried deep into the pillow. As Teru's heartbeat slowly but surely backs down from ringing in his ears, he can make out the calm, even sound of Shigeo's breath.Teru goes slack against the door frame. Holding himself up with the right, his left arm now tightly wraps around his ribcage, fingers grasping for purchase on the thick, rigid surface of his coat. Something burns in the corners of his eyes, hot and itchy, and his next inhale stutters, hitches and becomes a sob.This is stupid. And loud. He'll end up waking him after all.Turning around, he leans with his back against the frame, decisively looking away from the bed. He presses a hand to his mouth, closes his eyes, keeps swallowing hard and breathes through his nose. Stop, he thinks at himself, calm and clear, strict. He knows he doesn't listen otherwise. Stop. He's fine. He's still here.The arm slung around his middle is not the sort of contact he is craving, is not at all enough compared to holding another person. But it helps, just a bit. Just for now. It has to.Only two more sobs manage to escape him, then he bites back the rest. They taste bitter, but at least it's quiet now.

One, two, three more breaths and he pushes himself off the frame. Hangs up his coat, picks up his groceries. By the time he's cleaned out the fridge and stocked it anew again, the sun is already coming up. Teru quickly washes himself, turns on the coffee machine, and walks back into the living room.Everything is still as it was before.Teru kneels down next to the bed, elbows on the mattress. He tries not to look at Shigeo too much. That'd be weird.The purple and blue blanket has slipped down Shigeo's shoulder again. Teru carefully pulls it back up.Just to keep him warm.

#mp100 #terumob #fic #writing prompt #mob psycho 100 #my writing #Return. Continue. Oneshot. #Anonymous