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sobsicles · 3 years

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My favorite things Sam did in the show

yells at his father repeatedly

flirts with demons (multiple)

threatens to shoot god before he knew it was god, then follows through years later after learning it was god

yells at babies because they're crying, and he feels his suffering is greater

kills his grandfather (mom's side)

unironically gives dietary advice when he's consumed demon blood in the past

has sex with the mother of the king of hell who had sex with his brother

plays in a genital herpes commercial

tries to be a good half-brother, finds out his half-brother is an asshole, then basically says "oh you'll fit right in"

stops having sex when it becomes abundantly clear that his dick is cursed

still gets seduced by rowena and eileen anyway (not his fault, who can blame him?)

is always the first to say "hey slow down, maybe this monster is an okay monster, maybe this monster can be friend?"

gets jealous when someone has access to better technology than him

teaches teenagers how to break the law and get away with it

is generally a happy drunk

boops dean's nose when he's high on drugs (prescribed) in a mental hospital

sam: "do you like to play with your food? roll over, lucky. speak." the skinwalker they've got tied up: "go to hell." sam: "already been. didn't agree with me."

gives literal death the hand ✋ (like he literally does, and he says "no one's asking you" to death, like lmaoooo what a legend)

lets his brother chase him around trying to hit him with a hammer just to lure him into an embrace with the angel he's had a weird relationship with for the last seven years or so

is in awe and stunned by the fact that eileen wants him bc she's so amazing (as he should bc he's right😌💅)

calls the king of hell useless

spends five minutes alone with cas and immediately works in unison with him to create an environment so chaotic that no one leaves them alone anymore

nods in agreement when he's told that he and his brother are terrible people

has a really cool imaginary friend

has a very, very hard head (literal)

#you got to admit #sam didnt choose the sass. the sass chose HIM #never gonna get over the way sam literally basically told death (THEE death) to shut up 😂😭#sam getting drunk and giggling bc dean's short #his purple shirt 😌#the way he was always so done with crowley so he basically just went 'im gonna have a thing with your mom' and then did???#witch sam holds a special place in my heart too #honorable mentions:#'low sodium freaks'#dean talking about his hell deal: its like the light at the end of the tunnel sam: 😐 its hellfire dean #'okay sparky. and when we get done we can go to disneyland next!'#'wait unicorns arent real?'#'or are you strictly into dick now?'#'i believe in us' *punches dean in the face again* 'i believe in us!'#eileen: 😏 sam: 😳🧐😲😃#'i—i wanted to see if the squeezy thing worked'#the ugly shirts and the legitimate mom haircuts #demons impersonating sam and dean: *are too nice*#'really dean? yOu cAn fEeL iT?'#sam: *basically has superpowers* also sam: *forgets he basically has superpowers*#'big sam is okay!' *continues to choke*#'there will be no new king of hell! anyone who wants to try has to go through me!' *no one tries*#just to name a few #sammeh #sobs says things #happy bday to the sam we created and love 😌

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queen-of-deans-booty · 3 years

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Opportunity

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.8k

Warnings: implied smut

Request by anon: Could you do an imagine reader x Dean (not dating but very flirty relationship) where the boys are trying to get information at a bar but nobody is giving anything (bc fuck the fbi am I right) so they result to the oldest trick on the books: reader dressing up! I'm talking whole daisy dukes look, at one point she rides a mechanical bull and let's just say Dean almost passed out ;)

Summary: When Sam and Dean can’t get the locals to explain the town’s history, it’s time for you and your alter ego to come out and play the game they so desperately set up for you.

Square Filled: town with a dark secret for @spnclassicbingo and slow burn for @spndeanbingo

Author’s Note: feedback is important!

From your seat at the table in the corner, you can tell that things aren’t going well for Sam and Dean. For starters, no one can seem to look them in the eyes. You’re not sure why, maybe it’s their suits, but that’s problem number one. Problem number two is that everyone is giving them vague answers as to why the FBI is here. All Sam and Dean want to do is get the information they need and move on, but that proves impossible when the people of the town aren’t giving anything away.

This town is hiding something, like it has a dark secret that it doesn’t want out.

“I don’t know what to tell you, fellas,” the bartender shrugs, wanting to get rid of Sam and Dean.

“If you think of anything else, please call us,” Sam says and hands over his FBI card.

As the brothers walk away, you can see the bartender toss the card into the trash. Your eyes narrow a bit, but you don’t comment on it when they get back to the table.

“What’s going on with these people? Why are they being--” Dean stops short when he can’t think of the word he wants to use. Suddenly, it comes to him and he blurts it out without thinking about it. “Bitches!”

“Bitches?” you giggle.

“Shut up.”

“This town is hiding something, not just this bar. There is something they don’t want us to know.”

“Yeah, but what? If they don’t start talking, then more people are going to die, and then we’ll have an even bigger problem on our hands,” Sam sighs.

“What are we gonna do?” Dean asks.

“You’re telling me that you, Dean Take-Charge Winchester, don't have a plan of what to do?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I mean you always know what to do. You always have a plan, no matter how stupid it is. Come on, there has to be something brewing in that pretty head of yours,” you grin, tossing back the rest of your drink.

“You’re drunk.”

“Drunk on you,” you wink.

“Come on, we should go back to the motel.”

Dean glances at you once more before leaving the table with his brother. You stare at the man you have a crush on, but never had the courage to do something about it. You two have always been flirty with each other, never once backing down from anything as long as it involves one of you blushing like a schoolgirl.

Sam is used to your flirting since you two do it all the time, but he’s counting down the days until one of you confesses your feelings for the other. This has been going on for a few years, and he’s sick and tired of the sex eyes you two give each other. You can’t help but not flirt with the older Winchester. Have people seen him? Women turn their heads when he walks into the room, their panties fall when he smirks at them, and they get lost when they stare into his eyes.

It doesn’t bother you when other women behave that way toward him because could you blame them? It bothers you when Dean flirts back with them. It makes you feel like you’re not as important to him as the other women if he’s flirting with you and then with them. Sam has become sort of a middle man when it comes to relaying messages between the two of you.

He assures you that Dean only has eyes for you, and he constantly tells Dean to man up and ask you out. All he knows is that when you two finally do confess, he has to make sure he is out of the Bunker for the rest of that night and well into the next day.

Dean is only a friend. Dean is only a fucking friend. Dean should be fucking his friend. Dean should be fucking you.You shake your head to get those thoughts out of it before following the brothers to the car and back to the motel room. The two brothers get straight to work, but you head to the mini bar and down a few shots to get your muscles loosened.

“Don’t drink too much, Y/N. We all know what you’re like when you have at least four shots in you,” Dean comments.

“What am I like?” you giggle, halfway there.

“You get slutty.”

“I’ll get slutty for you,” you flirt.

Dean blushes, but he doesn’t say anything about that. Sam rolls his eyes, but he keeps his eyes trained on the book in front of him. There has to be a simple solution to this very easy problem, you just don’t know what it could be. You think back to the bar and of the patrons, remembering what the women were doing while Sam and Dean were talking to the bartender. All the women were wearing the same kind of clothing, just different styles. They were flirting with the men, doing shots off their bodies, and having a good time. There was even a mechanical bull that the guys were riding to impress their women.

Dean wanted to ride it when he first entered, but he remembered he was supposed to be an FBI agent on a case, so it took everything in him to resist the activity. You, on the other hand, tried to stay in the background in case you needed to step in apart from the “FBI” to gather the information they couldn’t.

Whether the brothers liked it or not, it’s time to bring out your alter ego. She has been locked up for too long, and she is desperate to come out and play. They always agreed that if their tactic didn’t work, they would result to yours.

“I’m hungry. Are you guys hungry?”

“I could eat,” Sam agrees.

“You two go out and have fun. I think I need to sleep off this alcohol,” you lie smoothly. “Bring me back something though.”

“You heard the lady,” Dean grins and sets aside his research.

He and Sam gather their things before saying their goodbyes as they leave the motel room. You pull back the curtain on the window to watch as they get into the Impala and drive off. Only when they are out of sight, do you grab your duffel bag where your slutty outfit is. What Sam and Dean didn’t know is that you already had two shots at the bar.

You’re four shots in, and she is ready to come out and play.

“Do you think she’ll like this?” Sam asks, holding the take-out bag that has your food in it.

“Yeah, she’s had it before.”

Both brothers pull up to the motel and get out, heading inside once they unlock the door. At first, they don’t notice anything out of the ordinary, but when they see both beds and the couch empty, they realize you lied about wanting to sleep.

“Where the hell is she?” Dean asks.

Sam sets down the take-out bag and searches the room while Dean looks for any sign of where you might have gone. His eyes scan the table with the research, noticing a small sticky note with your handwriting on it.

“Sam, check this out,” Dean says, snatching the sticky note. “Went to do what you two clearly couldn’t.” Dean looks at the name you scribbled, and he rolls his eyes. “Look who signed it.”

“Dude, that’s her alter ego’s name.”

“Yeah, exactly. Come on, I know where she went.”

Sam and Dean go to the bar they were in earlier because Dean knows you’re there trying to get the patrons to talk about their deep dark secret they refuse to let anyone else in on. As soon as they entered the bar, they hear shouts and cheers coming from the mechanical bull section. Dean turns his head to the source where he sees you on the mechanical bull.

His eyes bug out of his head at the attire you’re wearing. Daisy dukes, plaid shirt that is cropped to just below your breasts, your hair is low pigtails, cowboy boots, and a cowgirl hat. His pants immediately tighten as his cock strains against the denim. You look like you’re having the time of your life, but the thing that almost kills Dean is when you make eye contact with him and fucking wink.

“Fuck,” Dean mutters and reaches for the nearest chair to sit down.

“You okay?” Sam chuckles in amusement.

“Fucking look at her, Sam.”

You finish your ride and get off, stumbling into the man who catches you, so you don’t fall on your ass. Dean wants nothing more than to go up to him and smack him, but he knows the game you’re playing. Whether you’re really drunk or not is in question, but you do know what you’re doing. You giggle into the man’s ear and chat with him, taking the alcoholic drink he offers you.

The shorts you’re wearing barely cup your ass, so he can see the curves of your cheeks perfectly. Damn, if he doesn’t do something about your relationship now, then he never will. Dean spends the next thirty minutes watching you jump on any guy you come into contact with until you get the information you’re looking for. You make eye contact with Dean and motion for him to follow you outside so you can speak privately.

He and Sam follow your direction while you break it off with the man who has his hands all over your waist with the promise you’ll be back. You giggle as you leave the bar, the act immediately dropping when it’s just you and the brothers. You’re still drunk, but not as much as you were letting on.

“What did you get?” Sam asks casually as if you’re not wearing what you’re wearing.

“There was a kid named Justin Clark who was the source of the town’s bullying. He wasn’t very well liked and had no friends. One day, they were holding a celebration where Justin was the main attraction. The whole town bullied him so badly that they killed him. He’s the one haunting this town.”

“Good job.”

“Thank you,” you grin.

“Let’s go figure out where Justin Clark is buried.”

Sam leaves as if nothing's wrong while you and Dean hang back.

“You’re doing this to me on purpose.”

“Maybe. But then again, maybe it’ll give you the courage to finally ask me out. If you think this is sexy, just wait till you see what they look like on your floor,” you grin and slap his ass.

You walk away from him as if you didn’t just do that. Dean’s jaw drops at your act, but this is the opportunity he’s been waiting for.

“Sweetheart, you don’t know what you just signed up for,” he smirks and follows after you.

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