#saw the link saying Lawrence appeared in Saw 3D

[victorluvsalice]

Happy Birthday Newt!

@dont-offend-the-bees A combination of you telling me that anything cute and Valicey would do as a birthday fic and me knowing that you are still into Saw as a fandom led to this -- Victor and Alice reacting to the first Saw movie, inspired by a couple of posts I saw on your blog before you moved all the Sawposting to The Secret Saw Sideblog! Though the fic is technically Valicer out of necessity, because the only way I could think of to get the pair to watch it was to have it be a Halloween Movie Nights pick by Smiler's friend Thirteen, as per this headcanon post...

--

“That is unfair!”

“What’s unfair?” Thirteen asked, looking over at Alice.

“The ending!” Alice said, waving at the slowly-rolling credits on the screen before them. “All Jigsaw said to Adam was that he had to survive until six o’clock, correct? Nothing else? No other secret catches?”

“Don’t ask me,” Victor muttered, hands over his face. “I am actively trying to erase this movie from my mind.”

“There there,” Smiler said, rubbing his back comfortingly. “You’ll be fine – and yeah, ‘survive until six’ was the gist of it,” they added to Alice.

“Well, six o’clock rolled around, and Adam was still alive!” Alice pointed out, stabbing another finger at the TV. “He was wounded, sure, but he was still very much fucking alive! Which means he succeeded! Lawrence was the one who failed in his goal! And yet Lawrence’s the one who gets to crawl off and seek help while Adam gets electrocuted and sentenced to – I guess starving to death in that horrible bathroom? All because he, unsurprisingly, didn’t notice a damn key in his bathtub when he first woke up?”

“You are assuming a lot in thinking Lawrence survived after–” Victor swallowed and shuddered. “After c-cutting off his own f-f-foot.”

“Actually, uh, it’s canon Lawrence survives,” Oblivion put in, sporting a slightly sheepish grin. “He shows up again in Saw 3D.”

“Oh great – when do we watch that one?”

“Don’t worry, we don’t have time for tonight,” Thirteen informed him with a cheeky smirk.

“What, because it’s long?”

“No, because it’s film number seven.”

That finally got Victor to look up. “It’s – wait, what?”

“Yeah, for some reason they decided to name it after the 3D gimmick instead of following the numbering system,” Rita explained, leaning around her girlfriend. “And then films eight and nine are Jigsaw and Spiral respectively, though Spiral’s actually more like a spin-off of the main series–”

“Can I please fully express my annoyance over the fact that Jigsaw killed Adam despite him winning his ‘game’ before we start talking about how this series screwed up its numbering system over halfway through?” Alice cut in, folding her arms and scowling.

“Well, the thing you have to understand about Jigsaw is – he’s a total asshole,” Thirteen reminded her. “He says that his games are to help ‘rehabilitate’ people and make them appreciate life and all that bullshit, sure, but honestly, I believe the dude just wants to torture as many people as he can, both before and after he bites it.”

“I can believe that,” Victor muttered, shivering. Smiler put a comforting arm around him. “And this is probably the least bloody of all the movies, isn’t it?”

“I haven’t seen them all, but I’m pretty sure it is, yes,” Galactica confirmed, giving him a sympathetic look from the other side of Oblivion. “You know, you could have left if you weren’t enjoying it – we wouldn’t have thought any less of you for it.”

“Yeah, I’m shocked you actually sat through the whole thing,” Smiler admitted, giving him a little squeeze.

“I am too, honestly,” Alice said, wrapping her arm around him to do the same. “I’m used to horrors like these – hell, the bathroom looked kind of like one I saw in Rutledge – but I know it’s not your cup of tea.”

“I thought it would be too rude to just get up and leave,” Victor groaned, putting his face in his hands again. “And I kept telling myself, ‘it’s the very first one, it can’t be that bad...’”

“We won’t make you watch any of the others,” Thirteen promised, patting his knee. “I mean, I appreciate you making the effort, but despite appearances, I don’t want you to have nightmares.”

“Thanks.” Victor shook his head. “I know you love that sort of thing, but – it’s just not for me.”

“Me either – especially if John Kramer can’t practice what he preaches,” Alice agreed, glaring at the screen as the DVD menu came up again.

“It’s actually not my favorite series either, if I’m honest,” Thirteen confessed. “I just like this one because of all the hot gay tension between Lawrence and Adam.”

“...there was a surprising amount of that,” Victor allowed.

“Mmm – though given Lawrence is married, he’d better start talking to his wife about either opening the relationship or getting a divorce before he hobbles his way back to that bathroom,” Alice declared.

“You know, I bet there’s a fic like that somewhere on AO3,” Smiler said, pulling out their phone. “Who wants to find a nice domestic AU to help us all decompress?”

#dontoffendthebees #happy birthday #fanfic #saw #valicer #just occurs to me that this might be the movie that gave Victor nightmares #and prompted him and Alice to only come over when they were assured it was a goofy flick not a scary one #anyway yes have Alice remembering that one post I saw you reblog about Adam having WON his game #and getting annoyed he got screwed over #and Victor wondering why the hell he felt like he had to sit through that #and Thirteen and Rita making fun of the numbering system for the series #because I couldn't make myself watch more than the trailer I looked up a synopsis of the first movie on Wikipedia #saw the link saying Lawrence appeared in Saw 3D #was like 'huh okay so what was that one' #'what do you mean that's movie SEVEN' #'WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ARE TEN MOVIES' #this is the fucking franchise that will not die XD #but yeah I hope you like this #have a fun birthday! #or I hope you had a fun birthday depending on the timing of his posting as compared to when your actual birthday happened XD #queued