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grump-the-deer · 4 years

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stuff about HDM ep 4

don’t know about GREAT THINGS but there are some for sure

let’s break it down binch

- first off, IOREK FUCKIN SLAPS. he’s BIG. he’s GNARLY. he’s BIG BEEF MAN with BEAR-MADE ARMOR that has segments that MOVE WITH HIS BODY. it’s PERFECT.

- buuuuuut his voice kinda sucks. too emotional, too high-pitched, too fast, not growly or deep enough at ALL. Ian McKellan was perfect for it but I would’ve taken someone like.......Iofur’s actor. he was stellar. why not him for Iorek??? switch their actors, Iofur is tryin to be a human anyway he can have the weird emotional tones

- similarly, his eyes are very expressive. probably a boon for visual storytelling, but I really think playing up the theme about bears being inhuman is important. Iorek’s eyes are described as beady and black and unfeeling. they’re almost human in this show, as is his voice, and I don’t like it.

- Lee Scoresby...............................................oh man. I have a lot of feelings about him. I’m gonna leave it to the end cause it’s long.

- Trollesund is really awesome - feels very realistic, very grimy, like an oil town would be. the Sysselman as a character is phenomenal. and IOREK STOMPING ON HIM - LEE LIKE “oh hey sysselman what’s up” is GOLD and you can TAKE IT TO THE BANK BOYO

- Lyra and Farder Coram - Farder Coram talking about Serafina - Farder Coram talking about his SSON I LOVE FARDER CORAM he has done a 180 in two episodes and I adore him now. he’s a lot more robust than the original, subtler Coram, but I like him anyway. he’s close enough but has his own thing going on, and it’s a good thing.

- Dr. Lanselius was a boss ass bitch I really liked him

- THEY KEPT THE CLOUD-PINE SCENE YESSSSSS

- but.....there was no pulling scene with Pan and Lyra facing Iorek. that was one of the best exposition and characterization scenes (and foreshadowing) in TGC and I was REALLY hoping for it. instead we’ve just got that half-assed exposition mention about dæmons being far away. fuck the exposition fairy.

- AND they didn’t let Iorek talk about his fucking motivations as a panserbjorn!!! what!!!!! they had Lee do it - WHY??? Iorek starts getting HEATED and DOES IT HIMSELF what the HELL that line about WAR is ICONIC how DARE THEY!!

- the cardinal is really fucking creepy........especially the way he hunches and slinks around...................A+ on that....

- more golden monkey denial, loving it. loving Mrs. Coulter clawing her way to power by any means necessary even though everyone can see she’s burning herself to the ground in the process

- I LOVE that they’re keeping to Iofur and his bears having weird overly-fancy filigree shiny armor. definitely not bear-made and very wrong.

- Fra Pavel has a great casting. and the little interaction with Boreal is very very ominous.

- Lyra. always Lyra. just, amazing. her humor and her spunk is outstanding. demolish Lee Scoresby, demolish Lord Faa, demolish Iorek, demolish Lee Scoresby’s bacon -

- I love this Hester I don’t even care if she’s not my Hester I love her anyway

- on that note, John Faa STILL doesn’t have a dæmon. ANd, I really don’t like his characterization. he’s so fucking stone cold and serious and hard-headed. he isn’t a man of the people like the original John Faa. he doesn’t have an ounce of warmth or passion. I like that he still respects Farder Coram enough to let him veto things but like........where is my father......this guy is a bonehead

- a few more background dæmons and diversity this time around, including Arctic fox Pan - who is ADORABLE and THEMATIC and PERFECT - so that was nice. still not enough but we’re getting there.

- I love love love Kaisa. I love love love his voice and his mannerisms. I hate hate hate that he’s a gyrfalcon now. his voice is not even CLOSE to being sharp enough to be a falcon. he’s a goddamn goose and I will die on this hill I promise you that. fuck your birds of prey spamming.

OKAY TIME TO SHOUT ABOUT LEE SCORESBY:

he’s good. he’s a good character, on his own. I love Lin, of course, I think he loves the role. good comedy with Hester, very passionate duo. funny, likable. a little morally gray. cute.

he’s not the original Lee Scoresby. and I miss that one. this one is a pickpocket, a loudmouth, and cares WAY too passionately about Iorek.

first of all, the original Lee might have been there to help Iorek, might not have. he was around, it was a stop in his search for work. he’s a bit guarded and he wouldn’t divulge that. this one is storming around demanding someone tell him about Iorek and that he’s gonna help him but uh......once he finds him he kind of gives up, like immediately. why is he so devoted to this bear? he saved his life once? seems a bit more than that. I just don’t get it. he’s a friend sure but Lee Scoresby wants RETIREMENT MONEY, first and foremost. not a bear. no jokes intended.

second of all, the Lee Scoresby I fell in love with would never pickpocket, it’s beneath his standards. he is considerably money-grubbing but not to that extent. it’s a cheap trick and can get you in loads of trouble if you’re caught. he’s an honest criminal, okay. he’ll do illegal shit if you hire him for it, but by god he’s going to get hired right and proper.

he’s not a super subtle guy but he’s laid back - he wouldn’t storm into a place and declare his reason for being there, he’d make careful conversation with a local and try to catch wind of what’s going on. if someone crossed a moral boundary THEN he would fight. he’s.......more mature, smarter. he’s always described perfectly as laconic. that’s his central trait. he’s an observant dude. he’ll stroll right into a situation and wisecrack and help the side he thinks is right, IF he thinks it’s worth the trouble. he doesn’t start fights if he can help it. he’s a hare, not a goddamn rhinoceros.

this Scoresby is most certainly not laconic. this is a different character, and while I like him well enough, and I really ADORE his interactions with Lyra for sure, I am sorely disappointed that I don’t get to see the Lee Scoresby I love on screen for this beautiful adaptation.

#hdm #his dark materials #hdm spoilers

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