#side note i guess but despite the nightmares and the trauma they are quite happy to be reunited again. he found nightmares but he got his | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shushiyuii · 1 year

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Atlantic Runaways [Part 8]

Notes: Hey! It’s been quite a while, hasn’t it? Maybe you’ve forgotten about me, never know but I’ve reappeared from the void for a short while to deliver this!

I’m too sure if I’m going to be returning any time soon, I’m still thinking about a lot of things and I have a lot of things going on personally

Originally the finale was supposed to include all of what was written in this fic and including what else I have planned but I think it’ll be better to drag it out a bit first.

Edit: realised this was part 8- oops-

Warnings: Mentions of soft vore, past traumas of drowning, actual drowning, sobbing, nightmares, neglect, mistreatment, potential mentions of death and one very unreliable narrator. If I’ve missed any please let me know!

Words: 5.4K+

[...]

“Tommy…”, Wilbur looked down upon him with a solemn expression, his features dull despite the difference in height. He looked ominous, dangerous like how they had first met all those months ago.

After the incident of him nearly dying, Tommy had these recurring nightmares that always plagued his mind. It was quite frightening the first couple of times it had happened, though he grew accustomed to them, always preparing for his demise at the end of the road.

Tommy looked indifferent, neither bothered by Wilbur’s words to attempt to burade him. Though it was different this time around, Wilbur did not seek to intimidate him or scare him. He only stared at him.

“I think you understand what is yet to come.”, the copy looked off to the side as if he seemed saddened, yet no emotions displayed on his face. Tommy let out a breath that had been caught in his throat.

“What do you mean?”, Tommy stood anxiously on his toes, fearful of what could come of this dream, he didn’t want any surprises at the moment. Yet for some reason, guilt rose to his subconscious.

“I believe you know what I am referring to, lower your guard. I will not harm you despite what you believe.”, though he didn’t stand down. But what could he be talking about? He wasn’t entirely sure.

“No, I don’t. Want to explain, bitch?”, he teased. Yet the vision remained in place, no movement or expression shown. Typically, Wilbur would respond with his own remark or call him a child. Nothing.

“You understand that you must confront your emotions, do you not? If not now then your emotions might get the better of you by the time you manage to set foot in the place your dream takes place within.”.

So that was what the vision entailed, so it wasn’t a nightmare. It was another one of the weirder ones.

Tommy looked away from the vision to his bare hands, his vision blurred as his eyes unfocused and his mind corroded his thoughts. As if the sun had just dawned upon him. It was today, and soon everything could change for the better or worse.

The vision moved, its claw-like finger placed under Tommy’s chin, bringing him out of his thoughts. It showed more expression, showing a mask of the Wilbur he knew, copying him with a mask of concern.

He leaned slightly into the claw as it moved to his cheek, he appreciated the comfort despite everything. He wanted to be calm, yet despite being asleep he could feel the adrenaline pumping through his very veins. Already anxious about what was to come.

“I-”, he took a moment to pause. “I know, but- What if big dubs just leaves me? I don’t want to believe he would but-”, he sobbed. “I’m just scared, I guess- What am I supposed to do? I promised to get him out, escape and-”,

He took a moment to pause.

“For some reason, I just want things to stay the way they are. I’m happy, I can see Wilbur whenever and spend time with him, I got a job to support my dad, and I got my best friend. Everything I need-”,

“But that is simply selfish.”, the vision interrupted. Tommy only looked away with a guilty expression, he knew that he was being selfish. He’d never act upon those emotions. After all, Wilbur had been in captivity for so long, day by day he got weaker.

Tommy could tell the mer wasn’t happy just staying there, always putting on a show just to make him smile. He shouldn’t doubt Wilbur, having gone so far as to save his life and continue to care for him.

…

“I just want him to stay…”, he turned back and hugged the finger. Though it only felt hollow of what wasn’t there, he just wanted touch or comfort yet whatever the vision did had no effect to comfort him. He was alone.

“You allow these intrusive thoughts to plague your mind and judgment, and you contort to them as though they are correct.”, Tommy only nodded. He was letting his worries get the better of him.

“Tommy, understand this. You will be just fine, you know it. And if you’re still worried. Simply speak to Wilbur, he will understand”.

And the dream faded away.

[...]

“Boo! Stop hitting me with the fucking shell!”, Tommy let out a groan at the two of them arguing, placing a pillow on top of his head in frustration. Rather than waking up to his best friend cuddled to his side, he woke up to nothing but yelling as the two argued over a game.

The game was Mario kart of all things.

It wasn’t long until their race had concluded, Tubbo celebrated his win with a loud victory screech as Ranboo let out a sigh, third place. He was surprised that Ranboo was good at the game considering he had only been a mer for what he believed was a couple of months.

After celebrating his victory, Tubbo had come to annoy Tommy with his clingy side. Throwing himself onto Tommy’s side as he let out an ‘oomph’ sound before glaring down at his best friend, not entirely thrilled to see him active so early.

“G’morning Big man! You excited for today?”, Tubbo smiled. Tommy nodded with a small smile, indeed excited for the day. As much as he’d appreciate more sleep after recent events, it was better now than never.

He didn’t want Wilbur to suffer any longer than he had to. Picking up his confidence, he sat up and gripped the pillow that had fallen off of his face before plunging it into Tubbo’s face as revenge.

Tubbo was quick to try and repel the attack, only to fail and grasping for aid from Ranboo. Yet Ranboo did not aid him in his time of need, looking with a sick grin as he watched his best friend get attacked, it was revenge for not only Tommy but himself.

His laughed pleas were no use and eventually tuckered out in surrender, taking a moment to get back his breath. Tommy smirked in victory that he shared with Ranboo. Then standing up for the first time, excitement flooded through his head as he turned to his closet to gather some clothing.

His room was still a mess after his expansive research of crumbled notes that filled the room, along with discarded coffee cups and mess across his desk. Though the other two didn’t appear to mind the mess.

It was bright and early, roughly 5 am to be exact. Tommy didn’t quite appreciate being awake at such an early time but it was necessary for the plan. After all, Ranboo couldn’t exactly shift into a giant mer inside of his house.

He picked up his usual shirt, a pair of denim shorts that had a pair of pockets and a pair of bright red sandals. He went to change into the bathroom as the other two went downstairs to join his dad and friends for breakfast.

After changing, he could taste the air that smelt of waffles. He smiled, rushing downstairs to grab a bite as he was quite frankly starving. He was greeted by his dad’s beaming bright smile, who held a plate of waffles topped with whipped cream and strawberries.

Tommy was quick to join at the breakfast table, taking his dish before almost scoffing it down like a wolf. His father let out a hearty laugh as he sipped his cup of coffee, he had told his father of the half-baked plan in the middle of the night and was happy to help.

Yet, his father looked a little tired from the lack of sleep, the coffee to help prepare him for the drive to the beach and work. He felt sorry for his dad, but thankful nonetheless. His father was indeed the best after all.

[...]

Their car was a decent couple of years old, having been around as far as Tommy could remember. It was a comfy car, a dark green one. Tommy listened to the purr of the engine as he leaned against the window.

His father’s gaze focused on the road ahead, in the back Tubbo talked away with Ranboo about the bright weather and potential waves. It was surprisingly sunny out despite it being the early hours of the morning.

They were headed towards a more isolated beach that wasn’t too far from Tommy’s home and the waterpark. And plus, it was a beach that had a lovely view and Tommy spent a lot of time there as a child.

It was rather calming, Tommy could almost sleep if it weren’t for the excitement of what was to come, he was really looking forward to it all. He imagined how Wilbur would react to seeing the outside world, wait-

What would Wilbur even look like as a human? How would he even react to a pair of legs? Would he be able to swim or walk? He’d have to ask Ranboo about it when he retrieved the necklace as Ranboo really only knew the effect of it.

Phil began to slowly ease into the breaks, parking the car to the side as he pulled up the handbrake, he didn’t want to lose the car to slipping down the car after all. The purr of the engine came to a sudden halt.

Tubbo was the first to exit the car, slamming the car door and rushing to the trunk to grab Tommy’s surfboard that was being borrowed. Tommy was the second to exit, taking in a deep breath as he closed his air, taking in the taste of the salty sea.

Though, his moment was interrupted as he could hear something banging from the car door. Turning back to see Ranboo struggling to open the door, pushing his body against it in an attempt to get it open.

Tommy tried to hold back a laugh but a snort escaped him, shaking his head in an almost humiliated way but meant no harm by it. He opened the door for his new friend, only to send him flying to the floor as he fell out the door.

It caused Tommy to burst out laughing, holding his stomach as he laughed his head off. Ranboo was quick to scramble back onto his legs, his cheeks flushed in embarrassment without the protection of his mask.

Tubbo was quick to inspect on the moment, letting out a few giggles in the process. He then gripped Ranboo’s wrist and dragged him towards the shore, Tommy looked back to check on his dad who was smiling and waving at him.

He smiled back and turned back towards the beach, it’d been a while since he’d been here. It hadn’t changed at all during the years, almost as if it were never changing. He reminisced of the memories he held on the very sand he stood on, many memories were made here.

Despite wearing sandals, he could still feel the sand between his toes. The Sun shone brightly as it always had, his bright blonde hair reflecting in the sunlight, making it seem as though it were glowing.

His thoughts went back to Wilbur as he took a step forward, with each step would be a literal step forward in the plan, every step would lead closer to Wilbur’s escape. His slow steady steps on the boiling sand soon turned into a sudden sprint.

Tubbo was always swimming into the ocean with the board, his friend always was the type to be pulled into the sea, sometimes he questioned if Tubbo had more of a connection to the ocean than he did with his mer heritage and all.

Ranboo awaited by the shoreline, the waves flowing under his feet. He swore he could see more mer-like features on Ranboo as he drew closer. His legs were adorned with scales as though they could turn to a tale. He was preparing to shift back.

Ranboo went to reach the back of his neck, but he halted as he saw Tommy continue to run towards him. He was tackled into a hug, Tommy embraced the mer tightly. He was really thankful to Ranboo for all he was doing.

Despite barely knowing Tommy, he was willing to help him and Wilbur with the escape. And he owed a lot to Tubbo too, if it weren’t for him then he and Ranboo would’ve never met. Ranboo wasn’t quite the wrongun’ he assumed him to be.

He would have to repay them for their kindness soon, what would Ranboo and Tubbo even want though? He’d work it out eventually. Tommy then pulled away from the hug with a huge smile on his face.

Ranboo returned the smile, then again reached to unclip the necklace, falling into his palm. He looked back to Tommy as his face went into panic, Tommy was quick to reach out as he went to reassure him but Ranboo quickly retreated into the ocean.

It took Tommy a second to realise that Ranboo did not want to crush Tommy as he turned into a giant, rather stupid of him to attempt to go after him. Soon, Ranboo stood before him or well, gazed down upon him.

He now had the opportunity to see Ranboo closer than he did the other day, he was an orca mer that wasn’t as big as Wilbur but still fairly gigantic. Ranboo’s hair colour had changed to match his tale, though his eyes remained the same.

His cheeks looked as though they were covered by freckles, one side with darker freckles and the other looked white. Ranboo’s gaze looked unfocused as one of his claws laid on his forehead, though he shook his head and turned back to Tommy.

Shifting must’ve had its side effects, he couldn’t imagine changing from a smaller size to a gigantic one, mustn't have been easy. Ranboo looked a bit uneasy, his movements cautious as his claw reached out towards Tommy.

Tommy reached out his hand as the necklace was dropped into his palm. The necklace had a black and white spotted shell, surrounded by pearls. It was quite beautiful. He grasped it gently yet tightly in his hand, this was the very thing that would grant Wilbur his escape.

He placed the necklace in his shorts pocket, smiling at Ranboo as he turned to leave. He was ready, ready to get Wilbur out, the day was finally upon the two of them. Wilbur would finally get his-

“Tommy!- Wait!”, a giant claw gently grasped his waist, halting him in his run back to the car. He turned back to Ranboo who held a worried look on his face as the claw gently let go, letting out a shaky breath Tommy walked back to the same position as he was.

“Sorry about that, but I still got to explain a couple of things. Right?”, Tommy had been so excited that he didn’t even know how the artefact worked in the first place. It was rather stupid of him to wander off like that.

“Okay first things of all, how to use the amulet; The mer in question must be underwater, the shift will happen there. The mer must put on the amulet like they normally would. Also, word of advice, shifting for the first time can be kinda- funky. So be prepared in case Wilbur needs help.”.

“Your friend won’t be adjusted to the change right away, he won’t know how to walk properly with a new set of legs. Also, in case you’re worried. Mer forms come with their own sets of clothing. Anything else you want to ask?”.

Tommy paused to see if he had any questions, but couldn’t seem to think of any as Ranboo had explained clearly enough. It appeared that everything was prepared, he could only hope the plan would go just as smoothly.

“Nah, I’m good. Thank you, Boo. Really, I fucking owe you one. A big one. See you soon Big man! I’ll make sure to bring back the necklace soon!”. Tommy then turned back to the car, rushing to make his way to the car.

[...]

Tommy had prepared everything he could think he’d need for the escape plan, he brought a spare towel to help Wilbur dry off, the amulet, and his phone in case of emergencies, and was really all he needed.

A sigh escaped from his lips, with each minute that passed, he couldn’t help but feel more anxious. Closing his eyes as he leaned back into the car seat, he had no idea as to why he was panicking so much, it was simple enough.

Thinking back to his dream though, would his emotions really get the better of him? He knew that he’d been acting strange but he didn’t believe that it would have such an impact. He concluded it was better to bury the coffin until it was dug up again.

Phil had stopped the car, looking at his son with worried yet tired eyes. His father was also quite nervous as most likely, his son could get caught and endangered. Not only that but he was involved with the entire thing, the literal escape cab.

“Are you alright, mate?”, his father gently placed his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance. Tommy bit down on his tongue anxiously, not enough pressure to hurt but enough to make himself aware of how anxious he must’ve looked.

“I’m fine Dad, Just a bit nervous y’know?”, his father gave him a soft smile as he pulled Tommy into a hug. It was a bit awkward due to the car seats but Tommy appreciated it nonetheless. After separating, Tommy grabbed onto the car handle and opened the door.

Grabbing his stuff from the trunk. Step by step, he walked into his workplace.

Tommy got ready as he usually would, but in the pocket of his wet suit was the necklace.

He was ready. Though, as much as he’d love to tell Wilbur of the plan as soon as possible. It’d definitely be better as a surprise, he thought.

His sports bag in hand, scanning his keycard to allow him entry to Wilbur’s enclosure. He hesitated for a moment, standing in the doorway as he took a deep breath. Giving himself a moment to get his acting game ready.

“Wilbur! I’m here!”, Tommy called as loud as he could to the mer. Tommy planned to be a little more annoying to the mer than usual. Maybe then Wilbur would catch onto his plans, he’d reveal them either way.

Tommy stood still beside the tiny pool, at least tiny for Wilbur. He waited for about a minute or two yet he got no response from him. He bit his lip as he sat down, looking down into the water for any indication of movement, he didn’t want Wilbur to scare him again.

He waited another couple of minutes, but still nothing. So, he called out again. “Wilbur! Are you there?”, he grew increasingly worried. Was Wilbur okay?

Normally, he would’ve been here by now.

He waited again, but still nothing. His breathing began to grow heavy as his heart rate increased. Worried for the mer. Instead of calling with his voice, he splashed the water as he did in his training, hoping to get a response.

He waited again.

…

Tommy looked down at the water, gulping down nervously. Then, the still water began to sway, and soon Wilbur emerged from the water. There were no splashes of surprise, just the water that dripped from Wilbur resurfacing.

He let down a breath of relief as he stared up at Wilbur. The mer had a soft smile, though his eyes looked groggy as though he had just woken up. “Good morning, Toms- You’re here early, aren’t you?”.

Tommy was quick to reach into his bag and search for his phone, pulling it out to see that it was 8:12 am. His shift had started about 10 minutes ago. “Yeah, it’s one of the early shifts.”, he smirked. Wilbur only nodded his head, letting out a yawn as he barred his sharp teeth.

Tommy rolled his eyes and got up, he made his way to the freezer that held Wilbur’s food supply. Grabbing as much as he could carry and brought it to the mer. “Here’s breakfast, you prick.”, Tommy placed the fish beside him as he sat on the edge of the pool, his feet submerged in the water.

Wilbur leaned himself beside Tommy, looking tired as he laid his head on his scaly arms. He still faced Tommy with the same smile, eyes soft and tired yet they looked happy to see Tommy. He felt comforted, unlike how he did in his dream.

With Wilbur nearby, he leaned onto Wilbur’s arm. Nuzzling it softly as he took in a tired breath. Despite being so excited, he was still tired from waking up very early. He appreciated the warmth that radiated, some comfort after everything.

The two sat still for a moment before Tommy stood up, grabbing the fish and feeding Wilbur like he normally would during his routine, though he made sure to grab more fish than he normally would. He didn’t know what would happen if Wilbur turned human.

During that time, Wilbur had woken up fully and began to speak to Tommy like they normally would, falling into their usual banter. “I really don’t believe you’re 6’3. You’re tiny, one of the smallest humans I’ve ever seen!”.

“Dickhead! Of course, I’m 6’3! You don’t even know how tall that is for humans! You barely see any other humans besides me!”, Tommy stomped his foot in the water, causing a splash like a child would’ve done.

“I’ll have you know I’m-”, he paused. “I think I remember the humans saying I was over 40 feet? Maybe even larger, not too sure though.”, he let out a laugh. Tommy didn’t underestimate that, Wilbur was gigantic after all. He let out a playful scoff.

After the scruffle, Wilbur looked as though he wanted to say something yet seemed to hesitate. His eyes weren’t staring at Tommy directly, too caught up in his own mind. So, Tommy took it upon himself to speak first.

“Wilbur, you okay? You look like you got something to say. Big man.”, Wilbur’s gaze turned back to Tommy as Wilbur licked his lips. For a moment Tommy thought that Wilbur was thinking about storing him, although he wouldn’t mind the idea. But there the plan was still in effect.

“Yeah, yeah- I’m fine. Just, are you okay? You’re acting a little… off? I don’t know just something is telling me somethings wrong and-”, he cut himself off with a shake of his head. His gaze turned to one of concern, “You know, you can talk to me. Right?”.

Tommy’s eyes were soft as his hand went to the pocket of his wet suit. He stood up, amulet in his grip as he met Wilbur’s gaze. The mer looked worried, concern gracing his features. He leaned in closer and looked ready to listen for whatever Tommy had to say.

His lips couldn’t help but go upwards into a cheeky smile, as he spoke the words he’d been preparing to say all morning. “Wilbur… How would you like to finally get out of this hell hole?”. Wilbur’s gaze turned to a shocked expression.

“Tommy, wait- Toms, you don’t mean?”, Wilbur looked dazzled with many different emotions; Shock, relief, happiness, all sorts of things. Tommy could only nod with a smile.

He’d finally be free.

[...]

Wilbur stared down at the tiny amulet in his palm, such a small piece of jewellery would allow him his escape, his freedom. He’d waited over a decade for this moment. And finally, his moment had come.

And he had nobody else to thank besides the small human boy who stood beside him. Words couldn’t express how thankful he was, he’d only known Tommy for such a short time, a couple of months at best.

At first, when he met Tommy. There was only distaste as Tommy was simply just another human. He thought that Tommy would be like every other human he had met, some of them weren’t bad per se in Wilbur’s time but some never showed sympathy or just treated him as an animal.

Tommy was the first to treat him like an equal. It took time and Wilbur saving the boy’s life in order to communicate with each other but it worked out in the end. And now, the two of them had grown close.

The young boy had also gone through quite a bit just to get Wilbur his freedom. And now everything was falling into place, access to his freedom was now literally within the palm of his hand. If he could cry, he’d be sobbing with tears of joy.

“Just like that- Wait- Wil? Were you even listening?”, Wilbur snapped out of his daze. His cheeks flushed in embarrassment, he should be paying attention. Though in all honesty, he wanted to chirp happily out loud and reach out for the tiny boy in front of him. He was just really happy.

Tommy didn’t seem to mind though, despite his attempt at an angry glare; The boy let out a cough as he continued. “As I was saying, you basically just put the necklace around your neck and you just shrink and be human, I guess.”, he explained though he sounded uncertain.

His fins flared ever so slightly at the uncertainty. Despite his excitement, he was still a bit fearful of everything. He was nearly grown up by the time he got captured so after a bit of work, he knew he’d handle himself in the ocean just fine.

He remembered how to hunt, he tried to practice it in his small enclosure on occasion. He wondered how different the waters would be in the ocean, what it will feel like to be free in the ocean waves again.

Just, what bothered him was he wouldn’t see his pod ever again. And despite freedom being was he wanted, there was a certain anxiousness that came with the escape. Which couldn’t really be blamed, it was only natural.

Not only that but he was nervous about becoming a human, well he wouldn’t necessarily become a human. But it would be close enough.

Taking a breath of air, he nodded his head to Tommy. He wondered what it’d feel like to be human. To be around the same size as Tommy, would he be taller? Or shorter? What would it feel like to have a pair of legs?

It’d certainly be different nonetheless.

Despite his nervousness, It flooded him with a new kind of excitement. What would it be like to walk around, run with his legs? He’d be able to see Tommy much closer than he used to, they’d be the same size rather than Wilbur being a gigantic predator.

He grasped the necklace in his palm, determined to get the whole transformation progress over with and escape. A part of him was also excited to see Tommy roughly the same size as him, being able to hug him as tight as he wished without worrying about crushing him.

He took a deep breath of the air, despite not needing to do. Submerged in the water, his dry hair was now soaked in the water. He swayed his tail to the side, only for it to collide with the wall. He was really looking forward to escaping from the cramped place.

The amulet in his grip began to glow a dim light, magic sparkling from it. He began to do as Tommy instructed, bringing the amulet towards his neck.

As he did so, bubbles began to surround him. He felt strange, dizzy and tired despite being filled with energy moments ago. The amulet that would’ve never fitted around his neck, was now secured around his neck.

He looked down, no longer his scaly brown tail with white spots. It was replaced by a pair of human legs, he was now human instead of his gigantic mer self. He let out his breath that had been held the entire time.

Only to realise that he couldn’t inhale the surrounding water without his gills. He panicked, flailing his arms and new pair of legs in an attempt to swim, only for the pool to drag him down further.

The water that he once inhaled was now burning at his lungs, he couldn’t breathe despite his lungs begging for him to do so. He was drowning as his vision blurred. His mind wandered to Tommy, is this what the boy felt when he had saved him?

He was in agony.

It felt horrible, the water dragging him into its depths. It was once home, now it sought only to kill him. It was terrifying, and to imagine a gigantic predator in the water. That day he saved Tommy, after all that torment. The boy must’ve been terrified.

He was terrified.

As black spots began to fill his vision, something in the water changed. Despite being “human”, he could still feel the changes in the water. Using some energy to look upwards, he could see the blurry figure of something coming toward him.

He reached out towards it, the figure struggled but eventually, it grabbed his wrist and pulled him upwards. Soon, he emerged to the surface, clinging to the figure that had saved him from the water. He coughed out the water, his throat sore.

The grip on him was a bit weak, yet secure. Wilbur was safe, he let out a sigh of relief. When he opened his eyes, he was met with a soaked Tommy. His eyes widened as he realised that Tommy had been the one to save him as he had done long before.

A smile was brought to his face. Tommy swam with a bit of struggle towards the edge of the pool, Wilbur attempted to help but he was still flimsy with his legs.

Eventually, the two of them managed to pull each other onto the tiled floor of the area rather than the pool.

Wilbur let out a series of coughs as he adjusted, despite having inhaled air before. It felt different, more potent or something along those lines, unusual but not unnatural. His arms attempted to hold him upwards yet felt weak. He assumed it was because of the transformation.

Beside him was Tommy, panting heavily and leaning over the pool. Wilbur felt shaky and nervous, he turned himself so he wasn’t pressuring his arms and sat down as Tommy did and finally looked at his pair of legs.

His legs felt unnatural compared to everything else, he no longer had a tail instead it was like he had two tails (It was the closest comparison he could make). The new joints were unusual to move, and wiggling his toes was also a weird sensation.

He was mesmerised by his new limps, using his arms to lift his leg towards his face to observe it curiously. He attempted to bend his knee with success, letting out a yelp as he did so. It was hard to believe the pair of legs were his, that he was human.

He turned quickly at the sound of laughter, beside him Tommy was staring at him. His mouth was covered by his hand as he attempted to muffle it. Wilbur’s ears felt less sensitive than before, yet now with his new size, he was able to hear Tommy perfectly fine, maybe even louder.

Wilbur’s eyes widened at the realisation, that it was indeed a reality. That he was roughly Tommy’s size which meant… Wilbur pushed himself towards Tommy, clumsily embracing him into a hug.

Tommy let out a yelp as he collided with Wilbur, unable to support his weight as his back fell to the floor. Wilbur was on top of him, embracing him as tightly as possible. Despite laying on the cold wet floor of the facility, the hug wasn’t unbearably uncomfortable.

…

Tommy smiled, adjusting the hug so the two of them sat up. Tommy hugged back as tightly as he could, it felt strange to be able to hug Wilbur like any other human. But he was happy, happy that Wilbur could escape.

Wilbur readjusted the hug for Tommy to lean on his lap, his hands moving from his back to his soaked hair. Wilbur began to play with the wet blonde curls, it felt nice as Tommy leaned more of his weight onto Wilbur, relaxing.

Soon they’d leave, but for now. They just wanted each other’s company.

#shushi stuff #mcyt g/t #mcytg/t #dsmp g/t #shushi's writings #tiny!tommy #tw vore mention #tiny!phil #atlantic runaways au #tiny!tubbo #sizeshifter!ranboo #sizeshifter!wilbur #giant!wilbur #i don’t remember how to tagggg aaaaaa #I’m gonna run away now and pretend I don’t exist

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frickfracksnatchisback · 4 years

Note

If you'd be willing, could you do some hcs about smatcher & moonie who have a S/O who has ptsd, kinda similar to them, but from their biological mother? I see my mother a lot in Venessa, so I tend to mentally cling to snatcher n mj bc they remind me a bit of what I went through, I wish I could be there for them to help ease over the pain, yaknow?

Sure! I can understand having them as comfort characters! (But if you don’t mind, I won’t outright say the S/O’s previous abusive relationship and keep it very vague, that way it can be more inclusive. I’ll also throw in some extra HCs with Snatcher and Moonjumper dealing with their own trauma/PTSD) Also! Just a fair warning, I know nothing about this but I’ll try my best, so if any of these HCs seem insensitive please let me know and I’ll fix them right away! (Warning for mentions of abuse and past trauma under the cut!)

We all know that Snatcher is generally loud with his voice, even when speaking normally. However, if S/O tends to cringe at loud or heightened voices, Snatcher actually starts to become more quiet around them. He speaks softer, in hushed tones, and even when he’s angry or upset he reassures them that everything’s alright and that he’s not too mad at them. It’s rare to hear Snatcher speaking so normally, but if it comforts S/O then he’ll speak as quiet as he possibly can around them. And if S/O happens to be having a traumatic episode or a panic/anxiety attack? He will be especially quiet around them, showing the softer side of himself for once by holding them in his arms (if they don’t mind) and promising them that they’re okay and he’s here if they need him.

Moonjumper tends to be very clingy, wanting plenty of hugs and cuddles from S/O. But once he finds out that S/O is uncomfortable with sudden physical touch (after the giving them a surprise hug on accident), he makes a vow right then and there to always ask before even thinking about touching them again. If they say no, they’re not comfortable with that just yet, then he’ll be sure keep his distance while still giving them encouraging words and compliments. But if they say yes, he’ll be extremely gentle with them, hugging them so lightly he’s barely even touching them, or being very considerate when holding their hand, asking them again and again if they’re alright with what he’s doing before going any further.

Snatcher has a habit of sneaking up on people and scaring them as “pranks”, but with S/O it’s actually quite the opposite. They are the only one who he never does his normal routine with and/or tries to jumpscare (he made that mistake when he first introduced himself to them, and now he’s promised never to scare them like that again). He tends to tap their shoulders lightly and tries to announce himself before teleporting next to them or popping out of the ground randomly. It’s tough, because Snatcher really wants to be his normal, menacing self, but he puts their comfort first because he wants them to feel safer around him.

If S/O has depressive moments and/or deals with intrusive thoughts because of their PTSD, Moonjumper tries his hardest to encourage them and find ways to make them smile and feel happy. Like with a previous HC I mentioned, Moonjumper gifts them blankets, pillows, and/or plushies, but now he gives them to S/O whenever they’re in need of comfort or as a way to de-stress. If they’re okay with more physical affection, he’ll cradle them in his arms gently, telling them just how much he loves them and that they’re perfect just the way they are. And while he knows he can’t make their depression or intrusive thoughts go away completely, he will try his best to make sure they know that they are loved, despite what their brain tells them.

Now, with both Snatcher and Moonjumper, they tend to have nightmares about their trauma from the past. But if S/O has the same problem? They’ll both try to wake S/O up gently, making sure they’re alright and wiping the tears from their eyes if they’re crying. Neither Snatcher or Moonjumper will try to push, so S/O doesn’t have to tell them about the nightmare if they don’t want to, but they still hold S/O close, hushing and comforting them until they can fall back asleep again. If S/O has trouble falling asleep, however, Snatcher offers to read one of his law books to them and Moonjumper will offer to sing a lullaby for them. Neither of them will fall back asleep until S/O has, making sure they’re safe before doing so (they’re both ghosts, so sleep isn’t really necessary for them).

No matter who the person is that S/O has distanced themselves from (an abusive family member, a past lover, or even just a toxic friend), both Snatcher and Moonjumper promise S/O that they will both keep them far away from said individual(s) as possible. Both of them become very protect around S/O, even Moonjumper, and they reassure S/O that they will never let anyone hurt them ever again (even if no harm was actually done to S/O, they’ll still be protective of them and make sure they’re safe). Snatcher and Moonjumper also take note of things and tiggers that remind S/O of there past trauma, making sure to avoid the topics all together or help them through those issues, whichever it may be.

Snatcher & Moonjumper HCs:

During winter, Snatcher becomes very...distant, for obvious reasons. He doesn’t like the snow, ice, or the cold in general, because it reminds him too much of her. He’s very reclusive when this happens, refusing to go out into the cold at first. But, with a lot of convincing, S/O helps Snatcher overcome this, bringing him out into the snow slowly, hand-in-hand, showing them that there’s nothing to be afraid of. S/O might even convince him to have some fun playing in the snow; having a snowball fight with Hat Kid, Bow Kid, Mu, and even the Subconites, making snowpeople, snowforts, and snowangels. And when all’s said and done, Snatcher and S/O get to cuddle up close to one another, with some hot cocoa and a good book as the snow continues to fall outside. Snatcher mutters a quiet “thank you” to them, for helping him feel happy for the first time in years.

Moonjumper has a conditional sense of perfection, scolding himself whenever he thinks he’s not acting politely enough or even when he makes little mistakes (I bet you can guess where that came from). It gets so bad, to where when he really does mess up badly, he flinches at S/O sudden movements. It’s a reflex, as Vanessa used to slap the Prince across the face if he ever made her upset. And while he knows very well that S/O is nothing like Vanessa, and they would never hurt him, it still brings back some unpleasant memories and he apologizes to them for “not being good enough.” If S/O reassures him, telling him that he is enough and that he shouldn’t worry about trying to impress them, Moon will then embrace them, crying happy tears and saying how much he loves them over and over.

Snatcher has a similar thing like with Moonjumper, where he doesn’t like sudden or abrupt touches. If someone were to hug him or touch him suddenly, with no warning, he’d flinch, before calming down once he realizes there’s no danger (unless it’s someone he really doesn’t like, then they’d better run). It takes awhile for Snatcher to become used to physical contact, but it takes surprisingly less time with people he trusts, like S/O. He finds it very considerate when S/O asks him for permission before hugging him, holding his hand, and especially kissing him, liking how slow and patient they are with him. And when Snatcher displays some of his nervous habits, like fidgeting with his claws or grabbing at his wrists, he finds it comforting when S/O asks him what’s wrong and offers to cuddle him, which he gladly accepts.

(This HC is a bit more angsty, so fair warning) Moonjumper has scars that he, at first, hides from S/O. He has slash marks (ones that look eerily like claw marks) that adorn his chest, shoulders, arms, and thighs; white marks that stand out from his blue skin. No surprise here, they came from Vanessa (after she had turned monstrous) and he hides these scars because they bring back unpleasant memories of his time locked away in the basement... that, and he’s very self-conscious about them, fearing that S/O might find them disgusting. But when he finally does decides to show them, after S/O convinces him, he finds their reassurance heart-warming, with them showing empathy/sympathy for what happened to him and letting him know that he isn’t ugly or unattractive because of his scars.

Back to the nightmares HC, whenever Snatcher or Moonjumper wakes up from a nightmare, they usually wake up S/O in the process. With Moonjumper he’s immediately crying, curling up to S/O suddenly and hugging them tight, like he’s afraid they’ll disappear. With Snatcher, it’s rare to see him cry, and at first he’ll be defensive about it if S/O finds out... but eventually he’ll give into them trying to comfort him, holding them close and reluctantly asking for cuddles so he can calm down again. In both cases, both of the ghosts feel much better talking it out with S/O and having them in their arms, falling back asleep once they know they’re safe and, more importantly, that their S/O is safe.

Whenever they’re reminder of Vanessa, both Snatcher and Moonjumper act differently. With Snatcher, he becomes more distant and irritable, shutting himself down emotionally and keeping away from others. With Moonjumper, he becomes reminiscent and sorrowful, knowing that while he doesn’t love Vanessa anymore, little things still tend to remind him of her, so it’s hard for him to let go of the memories of what they once had. In both cases, it helps tremendously when S/O offers to comfort either Snatcher or Moonjumper. It will take plenty of time patience with Snatcher, as he normally pushes anyone away who even tries to bring up his past, but eventually he welcomes S/O help and kind words. And with Moonjumper, even he is reluctant to open up at first, thinking that his feelings are unnecessary or foolish, but when S/O offers to listen to him it’s a huge weight off his shoulders. In both cases, both ghosts make it clear to S/O just how lucky they are to have such an understanding soulmate, and that they’re so happy they gave love another chance.

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sharinluna · 4 years

Text

Chapter 15 Gavin Analysis - The Name of Faith

NOTE: Please read this in PC because in mobile tumblr app the chapter quotes are not shown properly.

1. In Need of Something to Hold.

I put down the phone and stared blankly at the ceiling and my unchanged room, trance-like. It felt like if I closed my eyes, I’d still be able to feel that weightlessness of falling. I felt the ginkgo leaf on my wrist and tried to drive this surreal feeling out of my head. Then I just kept telling myself, that’s all in the past. That my life had returned to normal, that I could go back to the same, peaceful life.

Gavin: Did you have another nightmare?

Maybe because of all I’d been through, I found myself less and less able to control my emotions.

At the beginning of chapter 15 Yōurán is showing signs of depression, revisiting her trauma and having doubts of reality due to repeated nightmares. It doesn’t occur to the readers right away since we’re viewing the story from a distance. But having prophetic dreams and visions constantly is bound to shake your sense of what’s real and not. It must be really stressful.

To deal with this she is using Gavin’s ginkgo bracelet as an anchor to hold her steady.

The gingko leaf on my wrist glittered in the moonlight, like it was sighing in relief too. My heart slowly settled back down.

Yōurán: It’s because of you that Gavin is always able to sense me, isn’t it…?

Gavin: That’s not it. I can find you whether you have that or not.

The truth was in the game profile all along.

NOW I can finally say this without spoiler tags. For those of you who thought Gavin’s tracker was creepy: There is no tracker! He just made that up because he was too shy to give you the bracelet and say “I made this because I love you.” He is nothing but a sweet, sweet boy.

Anyway, remember the significance of the ginkgo bracelet to Yōurán. Because I will bring that up at the end of the analysis.

2. You saved me and I saved you.

Gavin: Without you, this Ferris wheel would’ve stopped construction long ago, and those people wouldn’t be back to living their lives. You saved them. And you saved me. Don’t let yourself feel that you’re useless. I was falling, and you caught me again.

If I had to coin a phrase that explains Gavin and Yōurán’s relationship it would be “mutual salvation.” This is a relationship where the two people save each other. And in here “saving” doesn’t just mean saving your life from physical danger. It means enabling you to go on with your life, to giving you a purpose to keep going.

When Yōurán thinks back about their fall from the TV tower, I couldn’t help but notice some interesting parallels from Gavin’s Campus Date.

Feeling that he was falling rapidly, Gavin reached out his arms trying to grab something. Suddenly a heavy, rapid, surging melody sounded. It’s like the world has no use for me. If I die, they’ll be happy, right? The piano melody suddenly rang out in several harsh, heavy notes. No, it’s not true. His life didn’t need validation from his so-called father, his so-called friends. - Campus Date

I couldn’t help but think of that moment in despair. But it wasn’t until that moment when Gavin caught me that I realized, I was scared to death. I didn’t want to give up this place, all these people, and the bonds I’ve formed. So I grabbed on for dear life. - Yōurán reminiscing Ch 14

Campus Date is when Yōurán saved Gavin and caught him from falling. The same thing happened to Yōurán at the end of chapter 14.

They were both falling with nothing to hold on to. They both felt they were going to die and had no hope left of living. But something caught them in their fall. Yōurán’s piano for Gavin, and Gavin’s wind for her. After that they both realized that they wanted to live. Their reason to not give up on life is each other.

But it’s interesting that Gavin’s and Yōurán’s reasons for not wanting to die are quite different. Gavin said that his life doesn’t need validation from other people (mostly his father.) This led him to be pretty much detached from others and living like a lone wolf. He found his reason for life by breaking free from other people. Even when others mistake him as violent and scary, he doesn’t care. His own faith and principle that came from Yōurán is what matters

On the other hand, Yōurán said she didn’t want to give up the bonds she’d formed in her life. To her, attachments to other people are important. Not just the LIs. Her work colleagues like Kiki and Willow. Family and friends, her viewers, even the people she just passes on streets. The bonds she formed with people she’s met, places she’s seen, tether her to the living world.

The importance of “bonds” is a key element to explaining Yōurán’s nature and her actions throughout the whole story. Why she constantly throws herself to danger for other people. She is “bonded” to them. Connected to them in a way that reaches down to the core of her existence.

3. STF’s Dark Side

I already said this in chapter 14 analysis. The Special Task Force is not what it appears to be. It is supposedly an organization that upholds justice and protect the citizens. But, in chapter 14 Leto asked Yōurán - who is despite her Evol a plain citizen who hasn’t received any sort of training - to go to the source of danger without offering any back up or protection. Any military or semi-military group that’s asking unarmed citizens to do such kinds of things are using them as tools to maintain order.

And when Gavin gets in contact with his friend Litton it’s confirmed that the STF has done more dirty work.

Litton: No matter how big or small their crime, they all died. Cause of death undetermined, while at STF, and their cases were changed to someone else. Sounds impossible, but with enough patience, cunning, and authority… like the Commander perhaps.

Every Evol offenders Gavin arrested were killed, regardless of the weight of their crimes. Without going through a trial and without receiving a proper sentence. Their death is kept secret from the world as if they were assassinated.

Extrajudicial killing is when a person or group of authority kill a person without following due legal process like respecting the person’s rights to a trial. What they did is not execution, it’s murder.

Leto to Yōurán: STF has been monitoring the boy you encountered today. We guess that it’s an attempt from Black Swan to get close to you. We need you to gain this boy’s trust and possibly protect him to a certain extent.

Now, Leto is trying to get to Litton through Perry, using Yōurán. Baiting her that Perry is related to her father’s death.

Gavin: I don’t know why the Commander said this is related to your father’s death, but this mission isn’t simple at all. You’d best stay away from the boy.

Yōurán: I won’t accept. But I think this boy really does have something to do with the truth I’m after. So, I want to go see him, on my own terms.

She decides to approach Perry for the truth, but rejects Leto’s offer. She is unaware of STF’s dirty secret, but her “strong intuition” is telling her not to trust Leto’s words completely.

Since Lucien who is the smartest person in this story advised her to “trust her instincts.” When she has a gut feeling about these things, it’s usually right.

4. The Loss of Faith

Litton: Gavin, what if one day everything you believed in turned out to be a lie. What would you do?

Gavin is a man who believes in the most ideal concept of justice. He chose his job in order to protect Yōurán and to ensure that the world is a good place. Because Yōurán is part of the world and the world is part of her. But he is not keeping justice just for her. Rather, the reason started from her and spread to the others.

Gavin’s Summer Loving call demonstrates this perfectly.

Gavin: (When asked why he saved a strange girl on the streets) I just acted on instinct. … In that moment, I suddenly thought of you. I thought, could there ever be a situation like this, you in danger, and me unable to be there? So no matter who the girl is, I would hope someone would stand up and help her.

Yōurán inspired Gavin to become who he is, but that doesn’t mean that his identity is borrowed or not his own. He said he acted on instinct without thinking. It was in his nature to choose to live like this, and Yōurán’s presence helped him discover that.

Litton: I thought I was serving the faith, but now I know my faith was stained with blood. Later I understood. Faith is what you have when you don’t want to know the truth. We were just executioners, that’s all we were.

Slow-gathering doubt, sudden truth. It hit him like a tsunami, assaulting his once unshakable faith. His right hand started tremoring suddenly. A black wind surged up, slight and sharp, slicing through the rain and scarring his hands. Beads of blood rose from the wound and were washed to the ground by the rain. Gavin clenched his fists again, and the blood oozed out, but no wisps of wind surged.

However, in chapter 15, Gavin’s belief of justice and right and wrong is shaken. Enough for his Evol to be unstable again and fail him.

He lost his faith of justice. He lost his faith in his Evol. He even lost his faith that he could protect Yōurán.

5. How to Overcome the Wall Between Us

Yōurán: What happened?

Gavin: It’s nothing major. You don’t need to worry. I’ll take care of it.

Yōurán: Maybe I can’t help you, but I at least want to share the burden with you.

A stinging feeling welled up. I thought after last time, Gavin wouldn’t hide things from me again. I thought he trusted that we could face the truth and take on everything together.

I understand why Gavin is like this, but I also feel the hurt of Yōurán. After what they faced together in chapter 12, this feels like a step back in their relationship.

Gavin: You don’t need to see Perry anymore. I’ll send someone to look after him.

Yōurán is looking after Perry for mainly three reasons. 1) She believes that Perry is related to the truth that she’s looking for. 2) She is naturally a caring person and took compassion on him. 3) She related to him because she has experience of missing her dad too. Looking after Perry came to have a personal meaning to her.

Gavin: My agreement before (about Perry) was on the precondition that you’d be safe. But now, the situation’s changed.

Most of the time, Yōurán respects Gavin’s wishes when he insists that she step back to be safe. But, she’s not going to back away when she suspects that he is not being completely honest with her.

Yōurán: Gavin… you’re hiding something again, aren’t you?

In that instant, a swirl of complicated emotions flickered in Gavin’s eyes. I felt as if I’d been punched in the chest. My heart ached. I almost couldn’t take it.

Gavin: There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. But this thing… I can’t let you.

An unspoken barrier of silence and stubbornness had been erected between us.

Gavin and Yōurán usually agree with each other about everything. But this is a topic that they cannot agree nor compromise. So they avoid each other instead of talking things out. Maybe they’re afraid that having an argument about Perry will lead to a fight.

As someone who comes from an abusive family Gavin is extremely careful to avoid any situation where he might be violent to her. Like yelling at her or getting angry at her during a fight. Yōurán firmly believes that Gavin will never hurt her. But right now, Gavin cannot believe himself.

Almost in all cases fights are detrimental in relationships. But you can never not go on without a fight in your life. And among couple fights the silent non-fighting war is the worst one.

I thought Gavin and Yōurán would have to lash out and yell at each other to solve this, even if they have to upset each other. But I was wrong. There was a way to overcome this without resorting to verbal abuse.

Gavin: The moment I saw you fall from the tower was the first time I wasn’t sure if I could protect you. But then I was unable to control my Evol, unable to take you somewhere safe…

And herein lies the root of the problem. With his unstable Evol he lost his confidence, his faith that he could protect her. It wasn’t that he couldn’t trust her,

Gavin: Even without Evol, I can still protect you. Trust me, okay?

He couldn’t trust himself. Losing his faith, he is desperately clinging on to Yōurán for her faith.

Gavin: I trust your precognitions. Put your trust in me too.

This was his absolute faith in me, and his absolute reassurance for me.

Gavin and Yōurán saved each other. They try to protect each other. They inspire each other to become good and brave. They also put their faith in each other.

6. Her Growing Powers and Precognitions of Impending Tragedy.

When Perry ran into me, I was holding his shoulders. Last time beside the hospital bed I held Gavin’s hand. And those sudden flashes of visions all happened afterwards, one after the other. Could it be that… because I touched them, I can see what’s going to happen to them in the future?

Yōurán’s power is known to be precognition at this stage in the story. But her visions foretelling the future comes to her involuntarily. She had no control of her powers and she couldn’t start seeing visions whenever she wanted to.

Now, her powers have awakened enough for her to practice some level of control and agency. Physical contact enables her to see other people’s future. Before this, she could see other people’s future only if she was directly in the picture.

Also, she can see not only the future but also the past from her visions. In chapter 12 she already saw young Gavin in her visions being terrified in front of a fire that killed his mother. In chapter 15 she actively used her powers to figure out where Perry was taken. In small steps her powers are growing.

No matter how uneasy I felt or how sure I was of my new ability, I chose to believe Gavin anyway.

Maybe she should have believed in her growing powers more. The LIs keep telling her that everything will be fine but her foreboding sense of calamity has never been wrong before.

I can see people’s futures, but since it hasn’t happened yet, maybe I can change it?

Well… this game seems to have a depressing tendency to lean towards fatalism… as she would soon find out in the future to her dismay.

7. Doing the Right Thing.

Countless gun barrels were trained on us. A team of armed units surrounded the entire warehouse. On their chests, STF special ops badges glinted in my eyes. For a split-second, I felt that all of these men before us were like devils. I wanted to ask them why. Why would harm a little kid. How could sworn protectors turn into ruthless executioners?

Gavin: I will not let another child die in front of me.

The concept of right and wrong is subjective, but harming innocent children is a big NO that cannot be compromised. At least to me. Child protection is one of the most important things in humanity. If a society needs to neglect, exploit, or abuse children to keep going perhaps that society shouldn’t exist.

Leto: It was my order.

Gavin: You don’t have the authority to do that!

Leto: The special ops team has its reasons. I don’t have the obligation nor the time to explain it to you.

Gavin: But you have the obligation to explain the first rule of STF code. Every single bullet is fired for justice!

Gavin: I’ve put 76 Evol offenders behind bars. And all 76 have either died or disappeared. If anyone believes in that justice, then those people will answer to me.

Gavin: From now on, there is no more Agent B-7.

Mostly, the government is the one who decides what is right and wrong by law. But what if the government is wrong? Do you bend? Or do you defy? I love that Gavin chose the latter as his answer. He is standing up to the corrupt, authoritative, dictatorship government to pursue what is truly just. A path that is not by any means easy to walk on. Gavin is the Captain America of MLQC.

Yōurán: Gavin, don’t use your Evol again! You’ll be injured!

Uh…. but you should probably keep in mind the current state of your Evol, Gavin…

8. The Name of Faith

“The Name of Faith” is also the title of Chapter 15.

Gavin: The dangers aren’t just coming from the dark, but from the world we thought we once knew as well.

That the danger is from STF. For Gavin that would mean… the faith he once kept, the justice he once upheld, it all crumbled in this instant.

Gavin: I’ll take you to a safe place and then go back and take care of all this.

If we were to put a name on Gavin’s faith. It would be Yōurán. The Name of Gavin’s Faith = Her.

9. Against the Light

(Against the Light is the name of Gavin’s chapter 15 karma)

In the next instant, I saw Gavin’s solitary figure standing all on his own on the horizon. Half a second later, he disappeared out of my sight, like I would never see him again.

Yōurán: Are you going to leave without saying goodbye?

Gavin: Not at all. I made a promise to you.

I saw a cold, gleaming object taken out, pointed straight at Gavin. My body moved faster than I could think, and I shielded Gavin. Something sharp pierced my skin. The intense pain almost forced me to cry out. The next second my ginkgo bracelet split and slipped off my wrist. I snagged it in my hand.

After she foresaw Gavin disappearing, she shields him and gets shot instead of him. But it wasn’t enough to change the future she saw.

Gavin: Don’t let go!

All I could do was hold on to Gavin with all my might and let him focus. I was getting hotter and felt like my blood was rising to my throat. … I couldn’t breathe. I had no strength…

Yōurán: Gavin… Don’t… leave…

I used what strength I had to clutch Gavin’s clothes. The ginkgo leaf bit into my palm.

Gavin: I’ll be back soon.

In that moment, the image of Gavin receding away from me appeared once again.

Yōurán: No… don’t…

An indescribable fear gripped my heart. With my last ounce of strength, I grabbed Gavin’s hand. Don’t leave. Don’t go over there. Don’t walk off like in my vision alone and suffering. Don’t let it be like that again, walking off without even looking back.

Gavin: I won’t leave. I promise you.

With my last scrap of will, I clung to the bracelet that connected us.

Even when she got shot and is feverish, she tries to hold on to the bracelet and Gavin. Words like “don’t let go”, “clutch”, “cling to” is used to describe her desperate will to grab onto this object that means so much to her life. Remember what I said about the bracelet at the beginning? The meaning of the bracelet is revisited again, full-force.

Gavin’s Father: Gavin, weakness is the original sin. You go back with me and accept the NW Plan. This is the order you were born to accept. You and your brother are both no exceptions. Gavin, you have no choice.

Gavin’s father is using Yōurán’s life to threaten Gavin into accepting the NW plan. This is something that is so against Gavin’s idea of justice and morality.

Gavin: …You’ll keep her safe?

I never thought that seeing someone stripped of their will and pride could be such a painful sight.

But he accepts it. Everything was taken away from him. He cannot lose the only thing that’s left to him. Yōurán means that fateful autumn day at the campus with winds and piano music. Yōurán is the source of all his faith and purpose in life.

In the name of faith, Gavin is walking down the path against the light.

Yōurán tries to clutch on to Gavin like she clutches on to the bracelet, but she can only watch helplessly as her vision comes true before her eyes.

10. The Only Thing Left to Hold

I lowered my head and saw the bracelet on my hand shining exquisitely, but I couldn’t find the crack from before. It was like I had made up the whole thing.

Gavin left, leaving the bracelet behind. Her mental state is back to the beginning of the chapter 15. Empty, alone and doubting whether anything is real.

The gingko bracelet was her connection to Gavin. It gave her reassurance and courage to carry on despite the hardships. It was what anchored her down to be stable.

Now, the bracelet is only a faint reminder of Gavin’s absence and his echo of promises.

#mlqc #mlqc analysis #mlqc gavin #mlqc spoiler

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nitewrighter · 6 years

Note

The death of Gérard lacroix

Man at first I thought I was going to write this really short and stylistic and avant-garde and then… whoops.

CW for sex and death, I guess. I wouldn’t really put this fic above a teen rating though.

——-

Angela Ziegler looked exhausted, but that was nothing new.

“I’ve compiled my post-rescue observations with… the Blackwatch notes,” she said. Her voice tensed on ‘Blackwatch.’ She was still angry about Venice, Jack knew, still angry he and Gabe had let her go on so long not knowing Blackwatch had picked Moira up right where Overwatch had dropped her. Jack glanced over at Gabe. They had agreed that they couldn’t afford to let O’Deorain’s skillset fall into the wrong hands, and Gabriel had stated that her work was invaluable for Blackwatch operations, but her presence in Blackwatch had turned the Venice Incident into that much more of a PR nightmare for Overwatch, and that much more of an internal relations nightmare when it came to Doctor Ziegler’s feelings on the whole thing. Jack broke his line of sight away from Gabe and looked through the one-way glass at the thin dark-haired woman sitting a bit nervously on an examination table. Gérard LaCroix was standing next to her, smoothing her hair, saying soft words to her in french. She was here, at least, she was alive. Jack had to admit this felt like Overwatch’s first win in a while.

“It’s all clear,” said Mercy, “No toxins, normal nerve responses, some residual traces of sedatives in her bloodwork which line up with her experiences of time loss in Talon custody and Gabriel’s theory of gaslighting. Behavior is well within the normal parameters for her trauma. Obviously she’ll need continued psychological evaluation but for now, the healthiest thing we can do for her is give her time to recover.”

“Still doesn’t feel right…” murmured Ana, “Obviously they were targeting Gérard through Amélie… but the way Gérard dogs them, you’d think they’d realize taking her would just make him work harder to take them down…”

“Talon doesn’t strike me as the most socially inclined bunch,” said Gabriel with a shrug, “So that’s your word, Doc? She can go?”

Mercy watched as Amelie lifted her hand and gently brought it up against the back of Gérard’s neck. He bowed his head slightly and put his forehead against hers. Her lips moved and a small smile tugged at their corners as Gérard took her other hand in his.

“Yes,” said Mercy, watching them, “With continued psychological evaluations, as I’ve said before.” She looked back at Amélie, “Nothing too strenuous, obviously,” she added.

“Good enough for me. In three days I want to debrief her again, see if there’s anything else she might remember from her time in Talon custody,” said Jack, “Contact our Liaison in Paris, see if we an’t post up one of our psych specialists in a Paris office for the time being.”

“You’re the Strike Commander,” said Gabriel.

“I’ll sign the release forms then,” said Mercy.

Jack and Gabe walked off, and Mercy moved to go back to her labs after them, but then paused and looked at Ana who was still watching Gérard and Amélie through the glass.

“Is everything all right, Captain?” she asked.

Ana didn’t respond for a few seconds at first then suddenly jerked to attention and shook her head, “Sorry, come again?”

“I said ‘Is everything all right?’” said Mercy.

“Yes just… thinking,” said Ana.

“…You don’t want me to sign those release forms,” said Mercy.

Ana shook her head. “It’s not that. I can tell you if I went through the same thing… I’d want the same thing too. It just… feels off, is all.”

“How so?” said Mercy.

“Talon has to have some idea of how Gérard operates at this point… and targeting the specific families of Overwatch agents is… unusual for them. They usually target high profile individuals, or have more generalized attacks. If they wanted to get Gérard off of their backs, they could have targeted me through Fareeha, and coerced me into taking him off the task force. But…” Ana put a hand to her forehead and shook her head, “I’m probably only projecting…” she looked at Gérard, “I can’t imagine the hell they’ve been through… we owe them some time to rest.”

“I agree, Captain,” said Mercy.

—

“Welcome home, Mrs. LaCroix,” Gérard said smiling as he opened the door to the apartment. Despite sleeping on the plane ride from Zurich, she still felt exhaustion deep in her muscles from everything. She stepped out of her shoes and her feet padded across the hardwood floor.

“…Forgot how much of a mess I left this place in,” murmured Gérard, hanging his coat up. Nearly all the tables in the apartment were covered in papers, multiple tablets and data drives were strewn about as well, and there were maps on the walls covered in sticky notes and newspaper clippings and lines of yarn and photos of suspects.

Amélie picked up a manila envelope with the Overwatch logo on it from a stack of papers. “Oh I see how it is,” she said with a smirk, waving the envelope in his direction, “You say you won’t bring your work home with you, but as soon as I’m gone, you turn this place into your second base of…” she trailed off as she looked at one of the photos on the maps on the wall, and saw it was a photo of herself getting out of a car, “…operations,” she said quietly. She stepped closer to one of the maps on the wall and looked at the newspaper clippings, “This is for me…” she said quietly, “You were looking for me.”

“Don’t tell Jack,” said Gérard, smirking and leaning against the table, “He’d tell me to go home and get some rest, and I would go home and then….” he gestured at another one of his map collages. “To be fair, I was doing it for very selfish reasons. It turns out it’s very hard to sleep without you around. So if I wanted to sleep, obviously I had to get you back.”

“Gérard,” Amélie walked over to him and ran her fingers through his hair at the side of his head, “You’ve been going gray, too…” she said softly, looking at his sideburns.

Gérard huffed a not-quite chuckle and then held her hand against his cheek, “I know. How tragically ironic that when we finally got you back, I’m too much of an old goat for you now.”

“Idiot,” she said with a smile before cupping her other hand against his cheek and kissing him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, but gingerly at the same time, terrified of hurting her, terrified of her slipping from existence. He kissed her forehead and took in the scent of her hair.

“We have a lot of sleep to catch up on, don’t we?” she said, leaning her head against his chest.

“Yes we do,” said Gérard, smoothing her hair down her back.

—-

Overwatch’s Paris offices were a lot brighter than the Zurich headquarters. Amélie could see flowers in the window box just past the glass, and saw a mother lark feeding her chirping young.

The evaluator was a bright eyed, curly haired brunette, seated across from her in an old-fashioned but not imposing desk. “Okay Amélie—Can I call you Amélie?”

“Yes,” said Amélie.

“Great. You can call me Elsie. So I’m going to say five words to you and you can repeat them back to me in any order.”

“Five words,” said Amélie, nodding slowly, her eyes trailed back to the birds’ nest in the window box. Four baby birds. one was still chirping, one was still screeching up to its mother for more food.

“Don’t worry, I know you can do it, this is just re-establishing your recall ability. Okay. Here goes: ‘House. Flower. Red. Bird. Doll.”

“Cause.” Amélie heard a voice in her head that wasn’t Elsie’s.

“Effect.” Amélie heard her own voice in her head but could not recall when she had said the word.

Amélie’s fingers twitched slightly and she heard a high pitched ringing in her left ear. “Flower. House. Red. Doll,” her eyes trailed back to the window. The baby was still screaming and the mother lark was tilting her head at it with glassy indifference. Did the evaluator not see? Did she not hear the cries? “…Bird.” Amélie realized she hadn’t finished, “Sorry–I remembered I just… was distracted.”

“That’s fine,” said Elsie, “That’s totally fine. We can take all the time you need. Let’s do one more set, okay? Okay, five words, repeat them back to me in any order: Boat. Dog. Costume. Family. Moon.”

“Boat. Dog. Moon.” Amélie repeated watching the bird’s nest in the window box. What was the mother bird doing? Feeding the screaming chick more? Then she saw a bald pink chewed-gum shape fall over the side of the nest, fall over the side of the window box. The mother lark had pushed the screaming chick from the nest. They were on the third floor. “Costume. Family,” said Amélie, not missing a beat this time.

“There we go! Perfect!” said Elsie, smiling.

“Perfect,” she heard another voice in her head and the high-pitched ringing returned to her ear. It was loud enough to make her wince this time.

“Are you okay? It’s okay if you’re having an attack. This is a safe space,” said Elsie, leaning forward in her chair.

“My… my ear…” said Amélie, covering her left ear.

“It’s okay. Focus on the sound of my voice, and the sound of your breathing. This is normal. Tinnitus is a more common side-effect of trauma than people realize,” said Elsie.

“Mm…” Amélie gave a weak nod with her hand still over one ear. After about a minute, the high-pitched noise passed and Amélie sighed with relief and leaned back in her chair.

“Better?” said Elsie.

“Better,” said Amélie.

“So, your pre-evaluation notes said you were also getting nightmares, which, again, normal. Now, I’d be happy to prescribe you some medications to help you sleep better, however, since the source of your nightmares is an ongoing investigation from Overwatch, I’m obligated to ask if you remember anything more from your time in Talon custody. This information could help Overwatch significantly.

“I’ll do it. Please. I’ll be good. I’ll be perfect,” Amélie remembered her own voice.

“We know you’ll be,” she remembered another voice.

Amélie opened her mouth, “No,” she said, “I’m… I’m sorry. I wish I could help more.”

“That’s fine,” said Elsie, smiling, “I think right now the best way you can help is focusing on getting better–and we’ll be there to help every step of the way. That sound like a good plan?”

Amélie nodded.

The rest of the evaluation was tedious. Questions she could not answer and an MRI scan she knew would turn up nothing. Elsie was insufferably supportive and warm through the whole thing. Amélie was happy to step out of the Paris offices of Overwatch, but then her eyes trailed down to a line of ants across the sidewalk. She scanned across the line of ants and saw them swarming over a pink shape—too large to be a wad of gum–no… it wasn’t gum. She knew what it was. She walked off.

—-

A week and a half. Another tedious psychological evaluation. Poor Gérard stretched thin between doting on her and tracking down Talon more obsessively than ever. A letter from the ballet conservatory, expressing its immense relief at her safe return and noting that she had a large window of time to rejoin them before the next theatrical season, nights made swift and dreamless by the pills Elsie gave her. The first week she felt as if she were in some sort of cocoon, sleeping, doing what she could to distance herself from what she couldn’t even remember back with Talon. The second week felt like a groggy morning, the light of her old life seeping back into it. She needed to dance again. She knew she had to.

The calendar marked two weeks since her rescue, and she found herself in the bathroom, staring at the two little pills in her hand. She looked at herself up in the bathroom mirror and then heard sighing grunt. In the reflection of the bathroom Mirror, she could see Gérard taking his shirt off in their bedroom. She watched the way his muscles shifted across his back, the way his scars from the Rome explosion danced on the sides of his ribs as he tried to stretch the aches of the day away. She looked at her husband, then down at her pills, then slipped the pills back into their jar with a slight smile and closed it. She didn’t want to knock herself out. Not yet. She slipped out of the bathroom and slid her arms around Gérard’s waist, kissing his shoulder.

“Hello,” he said, looking over his shoulder at her. She grinned, then slipped under his arm so that she was in front of him, then pushed him back onto the bed and straddled him, kissing him as his arms wrapped around her.

“Amélie–Amélie—” he started between kisses and she broke away to let him speak, “Are you all right?” he said, his thumb stroking the bottom of her ribcage.

“Ugh Gérard, I’m fine,” she said with an eye-roll.

“I…” he tucked some of her hair back, “I know you want to put what happened behind you… behind both of us, but you don’t need to push yourself, you can take your time.”

“I feel like a glass doll ever since I got back… All this fussing, all these evaluations…” said Amélie, glancing off, “I just… I want to be your Amélie again.”

Gérard smiled up at her, then gently put a hand on the side of her face to turn her to look back at him. He stared into her eyes. “You are,” he said, “And you will always be, my Amélie.”

He embraced her and they kissed and rolled back on the mattress then. They made love for hours and fell asleep in each other’s arms. She loved him. He loved her. She was Amélie. She was his Amélie.

And then she woke up.

And then she wasn’t.

There were no night terrors tonight. Just a high-pitched ringing that woke her up. She glanced over at Gérard, happily, comfortably sprawled across the bed. The ringing in her ears was deafening.

“I’ll be perfect.”

“We know you’ll be.”

She walked through the dark of their room into the bathroom, opened a drawer and pulled out Gérard’s straight razor. She remembered the dead baby bird with the ants swarming over it on the sidewalk. She remembered long drives through hills and down poplar-lined roads. She remembered a hand clasped in hers. The ringing in hear ears drowned out everything. Drowned out every image. She remembered a gun in her hand and its barrel pressed against the black-bagged head of a stranger and even that faded to the din of the ringing.

“I’ll be perfect.”

She set the razor against Gérard’s throat.

“I’ll be perfect.”

She drew the razor swift and deep across his neck. He always kept it sharpened so diligently… he barely felt it. His eyes opened as he was bleeding out and he looked at her face. He didn’t even fully comprehend what was happening. The mattress was red beneath him already, the blood spilling out on either side of his neck and soaking into the pillows looked almost like red wings. She didn’t flinch away from his body as the blood saturating the mattress stained her knees. She bent and kissed him on the lips before walking out onto her apartment’s fire escape, still naked, still holding his straight razor in one hand. She ascended the fire escape to the roof of the apartment, not even shivering in the night wind. She stared up at the sky and watched as a Talon transport descended from the light-pollution-orange fog overhead. It turned as it descended, opening its bay doors to her which touched against the gravel of her roof. She stepped up into the transport and the door closed behind her as it lifted off into the sky. She watched the lights of Paris shrinking away beneath her.

“I’ll be perfect.”

“We know you’ll be.”

#widowmaker #amelie lacroix #overwatch #gerard lacroix

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