#since obviously it hasn't been touched in an internet lifetime

[insanelyadd]

Next person who tries to correct my theories or "inform" me about stuff in Undertale by linking me to the wiki is getting their bones stolen. I have literally memorized large chunks of the game and explored multiple character interpretations. The wiki is shit anyways. Proof the wiki is bad for in depth analysis especially in regards to Papyrus:

"DON'T WORRY! Though he enjoys reading advanced books on the mechanics of puzzles and this would typically imply Papyrus is intelligent, he also enjoys children's books and is probably sentimental about his childhood possessions and is therefore a dumbass."

If I'm remembering correctly, HE IS LITERALLY THE ONLY CHARACTER WHO POINTS OUT THE HUMAN IS COVERED IN DUST. Everyone else is like "oh boy your face sure does me a heckin frighten" and not once is the dust mentioned. They should know what it looks like. They should be concerned when SOMEONE IS COVERED IN IT. THAT'S LIKE WALKING AROUND COVERED IN BLOOD. BUT "OBLIVIOUS PAPYRUS" IS THE ONLY PERSON TO MENTION IT? 🤔🤔🤔🤔 (Not the complete text but the most obvious contradictions to the accusation of obliviousness):

AND THIS:

I have gone over this before but Sans and Papyrus are BOTH sentries. Papyrus got Sans his job (which the article even admits!) and Undyne says herself that Sans only does enough to not get fired from his sentry job. If you think Papyrus isn't being paid for almost single-handedly maintaining puzzles, doing daily patrols, and turning in DAILY REPORTS you are delusional.

Undyne doesn't want Papyrus to be an Official Guard because she's certain that when they are freed the second war against humanity will start, and she doesn't want to put Papyrus on the front lines. SENTRY DUTY =/= GUARDSMAN STATUS! PAPYRUS CAN BE A SENTRY AND NOT A GUARD MEMBER! JUST LIKE SANS IS! If you honestly think Sans earns more than Papyrus (or that Sans is somehow a Real royal guard despite being Undyne’s #1 underachiever) when Sans is a TERRIBLE employee for Undyne, while Papyrus is basically the mayor of Snowdin and is one of her hardest workers and best friend, then you have a shit opinion of Undyne.

This take is not only a disservice to Papyrus’ character, but also a poor reflection of Undyne’s character. SO ANYWAYS PAPYRUS MAKES MONEY! HE LITERALLY SAYS HE PAYS TAXES! SANS IS NOT THE SOLE PROVIDER AND IF YOU COME INTO MY HOME AND SAY THIS TO ME I WILL FLING YOU INTO THE SUN

I mentioned that I wrote this a year ago (March 29th 2020) because I went to the wikia just now because I want to make sure sources cited aren’t still garbage, and guess what, nothing has changed since I wrote this rant in March of 2020! I used key words from each of my screenshots to find them quicker and GUESS WHAT! THE PAGE CALLS HIM OBLIVIOUS THREE DAMN TIMES

The undertale wiki is garbage don’t link to it on theory posts unless you get up in the morning by jumping out of bed and straight into honking clown shoes, pal.

And, if you do genuinely just want to know more about UT, start with the wiki but recognize that it’s likely inaccurate and then look for primary sources, like let’s plays or screenshots of the game like from the UT encylopedia blog (which I will not tag here because I don’t want to tag them in this very angry post, I feel that would be frightening perhaps fbsdjkgsbdsjkgd)

#undertale #papyrus #character analysis #undyne #sans #i will fucking kill anyone who links me to the wiki #addy salt #caps lock #swearing #new tags #I don't know who is in charge of the wiki #so this isn't an attack on them #since obviously it hasn't been touched in an internet lifetime