#snooze fest but I’ll give the second episode a try.

[romanromulus]

woeful miscast of cromwell I think ??? sitting here like that’s not cromwell. who is that man? he’s too skinny. and so is the cardinal. and why is everyone so humorless?

#tell me this gets better because I’m flabbergasted. be for real. that is not my man #the book is bursting with humor and cleverness and verve. how could you fuck that up? just lift wholesale from the book!!!!! #snooze fest but I’ll give the second episode a try. #wolf hall #also why is cromwell so taciturn??? what the fuck?? that man should be shooting off one liners left and right

[bryanhasanswers]

Fury’s Hot Takes: Paul Phoenix

Okay - Tekken fangirls and fanboys ( or do the kids all say “boiz” now - whatever)... Let’s get right down to it. 

Take a good hard look at the image below... Yeah - that one, right there. Nope - you’re not done - linger a few more seconds than you’re comfortable with.

Now ask yourself: “Is THAT that’s the best they can do?! Try as they might - no one can make this moron look cool or even mildly interesting.

We’re talking about Paul Phoenix and wondering aloud - is there ANYTHING about this star-spangled goof-ball that is even remotely appealing?? 

I could save you a lot of time and just say: “No.” But let’s break it down.

We can start with the elephant in the room and just go straight to the hair. I don’t know exactly how much “product” this douche uses to make it stand up like that, but it has to be on par with everyone’s favorite fancy lad, Lars.

All I know is that if you needed to defeat Paul Phoenix in battle fast - just flick a match into that mess on the top of his head and it’ll go up like a fuckin’ roman candle. And when it does it, would literally be visible from the international space station.

But it’s the contrast that makes it so perfect - lemme explain what I mean kids. When you look at Paul - he has this sullen and slightly confused expression, permanently fixed to his doughy face. But his hair stands straight up in cartoon-ish alarm. Like he was on an episode of Scooby-fuckin’- doo and saw a ghost.

So combine the glum and confused mug - with the standing straight up doo and you got Paul shuffling around in a perpetual state of what looks like “dull surprise.” Which - is kinda accurate.

Dull surprise... our boy’s one size fits all emotion for every occasion.

While I’m sure you all know plenty about ME(Bryan Fury - you know the guy that’s writing all this!) - you’ll also know I go back a few years. That’s a nice way of saying I’m OLD. I remember some of the early renderings of Paul from back in the 80s and 90s. 

Back then, his “people” were trying to play him off as some kind of punk rock dude. He was a lot skinnier and still looked like a dork - that is his most timeless quality - but at least handlers were trying to do something with him. 

Now - they’ve beefed him up and stuck a beard on him and drapped flags all over his ass, until he’s he’s just a star-spangled freakin’ mess. Maybe they’re hoping he can do a guest spot as a celebrity announcer at some monster truck rally in Saskatoon.

He really should be working on his fighting style because - news flash - that sucks too.

[Get used to this kind of thing happening a lot Paul...]

Okay - I’ll give him this much credit - Paul Phoenix has this spiffy little fire-punch thing he does. But it takes him so damn long wind that shit up, that he gets clobbered before he can deliver the goods. He’d probably be really good at interrogating some poor slob that’s tied to a chair - but in a straight up fight - TOO SLOW. 

Maybe he could wipe the floor with Xio’s disturbing as fuck - pet panda (more on that pervy-ass thing in another post) or Lili’s dainty, old as the hills butler - what’sisname... But even then - that old dude’s still breathing - sooo, it’s really anybody’s guess who would win that snooze-fest of a battle.

[Actual picture of Paul trying to think - it’s kind of unsettling when he does that...]

Finally, I shall (mercifully) end this entry with a quick comment about Paul’s mental capacity. In short - I think he’s been hit in the head WAY too much to be effective. 

I’ve got a brown recluse spider that lives above my sink (her name’s Rosie and she’s beautiful) but the point is - Rosie can problem solve and and apply tactics much more rapidly and effectively than Paul could ever hope to achieve. 

He just barely fulfills the requirements for basic, linear thought. 

Case in point - at the last Tekken tournament, I ran into him in the ready room. 

Phoenix was focused like a laser on his phone. He was wagglin’ his big eraser shaped head - scowlin’ and mutterin’ away. I watched as he jabbed his big stubby fingers on the screen, and swiped at shit. Then he inexplicably held it flat in the palm of his hand and held it over his head for a moment... just sort of... waiting. Of course, nothing happened. Then he’d shake his head and start jabbin’ and swipin again.

After watching this sad little scene for a few minutes, I finally thought I’d help the the poor slob (Hey - I’m not ALL bad). So, I went over and asked him what the fuck he was doing. 

Turned out this genius wanted to get some aerial pics of the tournament and was putting his phone into (I shit you not) “airplane mode” so it would... fly. 

Classic Paul - you can’t make this kind of crap up.

I considered humanely euthanizing  him right then and there - but instead - I patted him on the shoulder and told him he was real close and to keep trying then, just walked away.

So that’s the hot take on Phoenix. When you see me beating his ass in the tournament - don’t feel too bad. He doesn’t really feel it - his nervous system isn’t advanced enough.

#bryanfury paulphoenix furieshottakes

[anextrapart]

Initial impressions of tonight’s TBL (spoilers):

Overall? Snooze-fest. It wasn’t bad it just... wasn’t very good, either? I’ve forgotten over half of it already, I shit you not. This show suffers mightily when it tries to run on plot alone. The best thing you have going for you are your characters, dummies. Let them talk to each other for more that three 90-second interactions per episode 

The entire “evil plot” storyline that was been woven throughout the season was utterly pointless in the end. We barely know the president within this world and so the fact that he tried to assassinate his wife leads no emotional weight to the story other then “wow that guy is a dick and it sure sucks to be his wife”. It’s not going to affect the characters much in the future and you’ve framed Diaz this entire time as shifty as fuck so it wasn’t remotely surprising. There’s tension in neither buildup or fallout because who gives a shit? Not me that’s who

PS the fact that it took the Task Force this long to even consider that the literal president of the united states of america was not in fact trying to assassinate hIS GODDAMN SELF? Turn in your badges you’re a disgrace. You too, Red, you’re an enabler

Good job with Rutiger and his dudes they were funny. And hey Red aren’t you glad you didn’t murder him a few episodes back, you drama queen?

Dembe swooping in to save the day was predictable but I love him so who cares welcome back you big beautiful man

Liz drinking the green health beverage was weird. Probably not significant in any way, but wasn’t it though? Probably not. But maybe?

Red + Liz + Agnes = perfect nuclear family unit and this is the hill on which I will die I’ll see you all in hell

The Katarina Reveal was... a thing that happened? I think most of us have considered at one point or another that she could still be alive so it wasn’t tremendously shocking? Could make the upcoming season(s) interesting though so I’ll reserve judgement on that as a plot point for now

(If nothing else it will silence the fools who were convinced our Red was Katarina in disguise like what the fuck even y’all. Go outside more you need sunlight)

(I’m kidding they’re definitely bending over backwards this very second to explain how our Red is still Katarina and the woman addressed tonight as Katarina is actually original Reddington because NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO LOVE LIZ IF THEY ARE NOT RELATED TO HER)

#this has been a post. #the blacklist #spoilers

[one-of-us-blog]

Quantum of Solace (2008)

Today Drew is forced to watch and recap 2008’s Quantum of Solace, the twenty-second James Bond adventure. We might have cashed out of the Casino Royale, but Bond’s still got some cards to play and some scores to settle. Bond finds himself caught up in the schemes of a supposed philanthropist, but M worries his hunger for vengeance will get in the way of him doing his job. Can Bond put his personal feelings aside long enough to stay alive, or will he be swept away in a wave of black gold?

Keep reading to find out…

Eli, I’m sorry you’ve been having such a rough time during your stay at the Golden Palace! I think the next episode you have to cover, “Tad”, is probably the best episode of the whole show, so hopefully you get some enjoyment out of that one. I’ve checked out of the Casino Royale, but I still have a lot of Bond adventures to go so I’m gonna get to it! 

Buttocks tight!

Screenplay by Paul Haggis & Neal Purvis, Robert Wade, film directed by Marc Forster

PREVIOUSLY ON ONE OF US!

Bond got tangled up with a gambler named Le Chiffre who laundered money for a mysterious, conspicuously unnamed terrorist organization and got his balls whipped clean off by a rope. Turns out Bond’s new gal pal, Vesper Lynd, was being blackmailed by the organization into stealing money for them. Le Chiffre got shot in the dome by a member of the organization named Mr. White and Lynd drowned in a building. Bond, hungry for vengeance over the loss of Lynd and his entire dick, tracked down and confronted White.

AND NOW, THE CONTINUATION

Bond races through the streets of Siena, Italy with some goons hot on his tail. We were blessed in so many ways by Casino Royale, but one of my favorite things about it was the lack of ubiquitous vehicle chases that have plagued this franchise for far too long. I guess we all have to pay the piper at some point, though, and our check’s getting cashed today. After three straight minutes of driving, Bond loses his pursuers, pulls into a shady tunnel and opens the truck of his car, revealing a kidnapped Mr. White.

Onto the opening credits! Oh, no, wait a second! We can’t be at the credits already, can we? Something’s missing! I can’t quite put my trigger finger on it, but there’s definitely that’s supposed to go in between the opening scene and the credit sequence… Oh, well, I’m sure it’ll come up sooner or later. In a first for the series, we’re treated to a duet at Jack White and Alicia Keys belt out “Another Way to Die” as a CGI Bond makes his way through the desert from Journey. Another thing I loved about Casino Royale was how rad its credits sequence was, and its lack of silhouetted naked ladies flailing around. Once again the gifts of the past have been turned into a curse for the present as those shadowy, irrepressible vixens retake the stage. Honestly, there’s not a lot else I can say about this; Bond’s wandering a desert, shooting his gun at random intervals while the naked lady silhouettes do their thing. At one point there’s this bit where a whole gaggle of them spin around Bond as he falls through space or something and they’re animated like a zoetrope and that’s pretty neat, but other than that this one’s a bit of a snooze fest. The colors are nice, though, I’ll give it that.

Anyway, Bond delivers White to M. Bond and M catch up a bit; the Americans were supposed to get Le Chiffre after Leiter bailed Bond out during the poker game, so they’re not happy about him being dead. Also, Lynd’s boyfriend, Yusef Kabira (Simon Kassianides), the guy she was trying to save in the first place, is also dead as hell. Or is he? Turns out the DNA of the mutilated body that’s supposed to be the remains of Kabira doesn’t match the DNA M got from Lynd’s old apartment while she was out playing CSI. Bond surreptitiously snatches a picture of Lynd and Kabira while M lets him know straight up that she’s concerned about his reliability. Bond assures her he super absolutely for sure doesn’t care about Lynd and has no interest in tracking down Kabira or avenging what’s-her-name. M begins to interrogate White and puts on her best tough gal act, but White isn’t intimidated. If anything, he’s more delighted than anything at the clear ignorance MI6 has in regards to him and his mysterious, conspicuously unnamed terrorist organization. M learns a hard lesson when White reveals that his organization has people everywhere, including MI6. M’s bodyguard, Mitchell, pulls out a gun and shoots an agent before taking a shot at M. Mitchell and White both run for it and M is lying on the ground wounded, but Bond chooses to chase after Mitchell.

Bond chases Mitchell out of the cellar they’re in and onto a crowded street, resulting in a few innocent bystanders getting shot full of lead. It’s another balls to the wall chase scene, and it ends with Bond shooting Mitchell while hanging upside down from a rope after they both fell out of a bell tower. Bond returns to the cellar but both M and White are long gone. He finds her back in London where she and the other members of her Forensics Club are going through Mitchell’s apartment. She’s pretty shaken up, but not about getting shot; Mitchell worked as her personal bodyguard for eight years, and no one at MI6, including herself, had the slightest clue he was dirty. M wants to know what the hell this organization is, who the hell is in it and how the hell Mi6 doesn’t know anything the hell about them.

It takes a while, but MI6 finally gets a lead in the form of digitally marked bills that had been introduced into Le Chiffre’s money laundering operation. Some money found on Mitchell is tied to money belonging to one Edmund Slate (Neil Jackson) who’s currently living it up in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. That’s enough for M, so Bond heads straight for Haiti and begins snooping around the hotel Slate is staying in. Slate and Bond fight in Slate’s room, but the fight doesn’t last long and Slate ends up bleeding out after slicing his neck on a widow and getting stabbed in the thigh by Bond. Jeez, this terrorist organization should really be paying Bond to clean up all their loose ends so efficiently! Bond steals some of Slate’s clothes and assumes his identity. He collects a briefcase Slate had stored at the front desk and makes his way outside, only to immediately be ordered into the car of a mysterious woman (Olga Kurylenko). The woman notices someone following them on a bike, and then both she and Bond find out that someone had hired Slate to kill her. Thinking Slate is Bond she pulls a gun on him herself, then kicks him out of her car and speeds off. The guy on the bike catches up and, also thinking Bond is Slate, chastises him for not killing the woman like he was supposed to. Bond steals the guy’s bike and pursues the woman, following her to a guarded compound.

The woman, whose name is Camille Montes, confronts her lover, Dominic Greene (Mathieu Amalric). He readily admits to hiring Slate to kill her, accusing her of trying to betray him. She tries to put his mind at ease, but he’s not having it and says the only reason she’s having anything to do with him is because she wants to get to General Medrano (Joaquín Cosío), an exile of Bolivia whom Montes has a grudge against. Greene and Medrano meet, and Greene promises to destabilize the Bolivian government enough to allow Medrano to seize power. In exchange, Greene wants a seemingly worthless patch of desert. Greene and Medrano discuss Medrano’s connection to Montes, specifically that he had her family killed before he was exiled, and then Greene gives Montes to Medrano as a gift. Gross! Medrano takes Montes and he and his posse set off in a yacht, but Bond quickly crashes into it with a speedboat he stole. He rescues Montes right before she can kill Medrano, much to her frustration, because Bond can kill as many people as he wants but heaven forbid a woman in this franchise be allowed to avenge her murdered family. We’re really making up for the chase scene respite we enjoyed in Casino Royale, because now it’s time for a boat chase. It doesn’t take Bond too long to give the General’s men the slip, though the chase does result in Montes getting knocked out on the floor of the boat.

Bond unceremoniously dumps the still-unconscious Montes onto a random dock worker and follows a signal from a tracker he managed to plant on one of Greene’s men. He calls MI6 and asks them to look into Greene. Greene is a much more common surname than, say, Goldfinger or Scaramanga, so you can imagine that this is not an easy task for the old HQ. M is pissed at Bond for killing Slate, but Bond refuses to give a shit about his actions or her frustrations. MI6 is able to put together that Dominic Greene is the CEO of a utility company called Greene Planet, which has been doing a lot of philanthropic work lately and has been buying up land under the guise of setting up ecological reserves. M calls the Americans to ask about their boi, and they send her to Greggory Beam (David Harbour). Beam assures M the American government has absolutely no interest in Greene, but M calls bullshit. Beam is the head of the CIA’s South American section, and how would they have known to sent M to him unless they were keeping tabs on Greene and knew he was in Haiti? Hot damn, the gals in the Forensics Club are gonna have a field day with this one!

Bond follows his tracker to an airfield, where Greene boards a plane. Inside Greg Beam and our old friend Felix Leiter are waiting, and soon the whole crew sets off for Bregenz, Austria with Bond following close behind. While in the air, Greene and Beam spell out their deal for us. The US won’t interfere with General Medrano’s coup in Bolivia in exchange for the US getting the rights to any oil found in Bolivia. Beam is tickled pink by the prospects of some black gold, but Leiter is pretty disgusted by all this. Greene has his man show Beam and Greene a pic of Bond that his man snapped and tells Beam he’ll need to be eliminated. Leiter, a true blue bro to the end, denies recognizing Bond, but after a second look Beam recognizes him and announces to the whole plane that he’s James Bond and that he works for British Intelligence. Way to go, Gregory. After the plane touches down Greene and his man depart and Leiter tells Beam this whole thing is an obviously bad idea. Beam doesn’t care and tells Leiter to keep his nose clean if he doesn’t want to lose his job.

In Bregenz, Greene goes to see Tosca and Bond follows him after pilfering a tux. While all patrons receive a swag bag upon arriving, Bond notices that certain attendees get super secret special bag. Assuming the bag contains invaluable collectables that any PucciniHead would die for, Bond relieves a man of his while they’re in the bathroom and is disappointed to find it only contains a pin in the shape of the letter Q and an earpiece. Greene also received one of these special bags, and during the opera, while all the real fans are being swept away by Puccini’s masterpiece, he and several other people in attendance communicate surreptitiously using the earpieces. Bond listens in while they discuss the various workings of their organization, which they refer to as Quantum, and then chimes in himself in order to spook several of the members into leaving the show. Once they’re up and headed for the exits Bond is able to snap pictures of them, which he sends to MI6. Mr. White, who is also in attendance, is unimpressed.

Bond makes a run for it before he can get pinned down, and runs right into Greene and his posse as they head for the exits. Greene sends his goons after Bond, which results in a shoot out in a fancy restaurant and the deaths of several more innocent bystanders. Bond manages to get his hands on one of the goons, only to drop the guy off a roof when he refuses to say who he works for. Man, Bond just refuses to bring anybody in for interrogation! This guy hates information! The guy lands on Greene’s car and Greene’s man shoots him to death. This is a real fly in the ointment, because that guy was a Special Branch operative working as a bodyguard for Guy Haines (Paul Ritter), a special envoy to the Prime Minister. Now it looks like Bond killed the bodyguard of the Prime Minister’s buddy, which is not a good look.

M calls Bond and tells him he needs to come in while this is sorted out, but he refuses. M cuts off Bond’s access to MI6 resources and puts an alert on his collection of passports while MI6 digs up the dirt on Haines. Being cut off from the family money instantly puts Bond in a tight spot, as he’s not able to buy a plane ticket he needs to keep tracking Greene. He’s able to make his way to Talamone, Italy, where he meets with his old, now-retired friend René Mathis. Keep in mind, the last time Bond and Mathis hung out Bond had Mathis branded as a traitor and he was locked up by MI6. His name’s been cleared in the days since all that happened, which is good, but now Bond is coming to him for help. Bond shows him the pictures he got of the Quantum members at the opera, and Mathis recognizes Haines and says he’s nobody to trifle with. Despite living the good life and having no conceivable reason for wanting to help Bond, Mathis agrees to join him on a trip to Bolivia.

At La Paz, Bolivia, Bond and Mathis are confronted by Miss Fields (Gemma Arterton), a consulate worker with orders to get Bond on a flight to London. The next flight isn’t until tomorrow, so Fields agrees to tag along with Bond and Mathis while they get up to trouble. Bond and Fields immediately sleep together, and Mathis later informs Bond that he’s been invited to a party hosted by Greene Planet. At the party, Greene gives a speech about ecological peril and discusses environmental issues with his guests while also sowing seeds of unrest directed at the current Bolivian government. A positively sloshed Montes keeps this from going smoothly by telling Greene’s admirers about how land he’d previously bought to use as an ecological reserve was sold off to a big company that stripped it bare. Greene drags Montes away, all the while being observed by Felix Leiter. Montes is still obsessed with getting revenge on Medrano, and Greene prepares to push her off the ledge of a balcony when Bond swoops in to save her. Greene sends a man after Bond, but the scrappy Miss Fields manages to trip him down a flight of stairs so Bond and Montes can put some safe distance between them and Greene.

Bond tells Montes he needs her to get more dirt on Greene’s secret projects, but they barely make it out of the party before they get pulled over by some cops. The cops are clearly dirty and they tell Bond to open his trunk, where an unconscious Mathis is found. The cops shoot Mathis in the back as Bond helps him out of the trunk, and Bond kills them in kind. Bond holds Mathis while he dies, following through with his plan to ruin this man’s life right up to the end. Mathis says he forgives Bond and asks him to forgive Vesper Lynd for betraying him. Mathis dies and Bond tosses his body into a dumpster after stealing some cash off him.

The cops blame Bond for Mathis’ death, so now M thinks he’s on a full-blown rampage, and after the whole Mitchell thing it’s easy to understand why she’d be ready to believe someone she trusted was dirty. Bond and Montes get their hands on a plane, which Bond flies while Montes guides him to the land Greene bought from Medrano. During the flight Bond causally informs us that Montes was formerly an agent of the Bolivian Secret Service. Bond spots some sinkholes in the desert, and then their plane is suddenly shot up by some of Greene’s flyboys. You guessed it, we’ve had car chases, foot chases and a boat chase, so naturally it’s time for a plane chase. Bond barely keeps his bird in the air, but the other plane is still coming for them and it shoots out one of their engines. Bond uses the smoke from the dead engine to blind the enemy pilot and trick him into flying into the side of a mountain.

Bond has Montes put on a parachute in preparation for abandoning the plane, but then out of nowhere a helicopter pops up and picks up the crashed plane’s shooting slack. This is too much for the plane, and it’s finally going down. Bond jumps out with Montes and only one parachute between the pair of them, and they fall into a sinkhole. They manage to grab onto each other and deploy the ‘chute just before hitting the ground, but they still hit hard enough to knock both of them out. M is called into a meeting with a government bigwig and informed that the British government is now preparing to do business with Greene. M protests and asks for time to gather evidence to prove Greene is a rude, crude dude. The official doesn’t really care if Greene is a bad guy or not, and tells M to pull Bond in before the Americans can kill him.

Back in the sinkhole, Montes tells Bond about her tragic backstory and her thirst for vengeance. Now that he knows how horny Montes is for killing Medrano Bond apologizes for stopping her earlier, and the two set off to find a way out of their hole. They discover that Greene has secretly dammed up an underground river, causing an artificial drought, and when they make it to the surface they see some Bolivians desperate for the water Greene is hording below the surface. Bond takes Montes to his hotel, where he’s informed that Fields has left a note for him. The note tells him to run, but he’s got to check his room first. In the room he finds M and a whole squad of goons. Bond and M are both mad at each other; Bond is mad at M for getting into bed with Greene over nonexistent oil, and M is mad at Bond for getting so caught up in his grief over the loss of Lynd and his thirst for vengeance. Bond finds out that Fields has been killed by being drowned in oil and that her oil-coated corpse has been left on his bed. M knows Greene is behind this just as much as Bond does, but she still blames Bond for her death. Fields was an office worker who was only in Bolivia to collect Bond and take him home, and she only got caught up in all of this because she had a crush on him. M suspends Bond and has him escorted away by guards, but he beats the guards up in an elevator. Bond catches up to M and points out Fields’ bravery before telling her that the two of them need to finish this. M says there’s nowhere to go and that there’s a capture or kill order out on him, but she doesn’t stop him from scampering over a balcony to escape the never-ending swarm of agents coming to collect him. She tells her assistant to have him followed because he’s onto something, and tells the CIA to piss off because Bond is her agent and she trusts him.

Outside the hotel, Montes swoops in to give him a ride. Meanwhile, Leiter and Beam are chilling in their hotel room when Bond gives Leiter a call. Leiter meets Bond in a bar, and the two discuss the ethics of oil, money and Greene. Leiter had to report making contact with Bond so some CIA goons are about to tear this place apart, but Leiter has enough time to tell Bond that Medrano can’t stage his coup until he pays off some officials and he has to get money from Greene before he can do that. Leiter tells Bond where Medrano is meeting with Greene to get his cash, and lets Bond get away before his fellow CIA agents can capture and/or kill him.

Bond and Montes prepare to storm the hotel as Greene arrives with Medrano’s spondoolies. Greene does indeed bring the skrilla, but he also brings a contract for Medrano which will make Quantum the sole provider of Bolivia’s utilities. Medrano’s pissed about this bit of extortion, but after some threats from Greene he signs the contract and gets his money. Montes infiltrates the hotel and finds Medrano’s room, where she hears him assaulting a woman who brought him a beer earlier. Bond, meanwhile, goes on a rampage in the parking garage to prevent Greene from getting away. Montes gets into Medrano’s room and the two start beating the hell out of each other just as Bond catches up to Greene and the two of them start beating the hell out of each other.

Bond set off a chain reaction of explosions during his rampage, so it should be noted that both of these fights are going on while the hotel is exploding around them. Bond gets the better of Greene just as Medrano gets the upper hand and shoots her family’s murderer. Bond chooses not to kill Greene, and instead rescues the trapped Montes from the burning hotel room. He sees Montes through her flashback to her traumatic childhood and then the two escape, catching sight of Greene limping away in the distance. It doesn’t take Bond long to track him down once he finds a car that hasn’t exploded yet, and after interrogating him offscreen Bond leaves him in the middle of the desert with only a can of oil to drink.

Bond drives Montes back to civilization, and the two make plans to dismantle Greene’s dams and get water flowing in Bolivia again. They give each other a kiss goodbye and Bond sets off for Kazan, Russia, where he’s able to track down Yusef Kabira. Kabira has moved on from Lynd’s death and has a new girlfriend who works in Canadian intelligence. Bond explains to the woman that she has access to some sensitive material, and soon Kabira will be threatened and she’ll be blackmailed into giving that information up. Kabira’s entire relationship with Lynd was built on this same scheme, and him getting her involved in the mess at the Casino Royale led to her death. Bond sends Kabira’s new gal pal off and allows MI6 to take Kabira into custody. That’s right, he didn’t kill the guy! Who’d have thought! Bond and M meet outside the hotel, and M lets Bond know Greene was found shot to death in the desert and Felix Leiter got a promotion. Bond lets her know he’s forgiven Lynd for betraying him and is finally moving on from his grief.

The –

Oh shit, just kidding, right before the final credits role we get our first real barrel shot featuring Daniel Craig! I knew something was missing from earlier!

The End

~~~~~

Phew, let me catch my breath after being so long winded! I know from my general understanding of the Bond franchise that this movie didn’t receive the same fanfare that Casino Royale did, but I’ve got to say that I really enjoyed it! I think Casino Royale is probably the closest to a perfect Bond flick that I’ve seen so far and I can’t say that Quantum of Solace reached those same heights, but it was still a very well-made movie. I think one of the things I appreciated so much about Casino Royale was its willingness to step away from established tropes and do something that felt fresh and new to me, and that’s one area where I think Quantum of Solace stumbled. There were so many chase scenes in this movie! Boats, cars, planes, you name it, Bond was being chased by it. Also, I know this is a weird thing to be so bugged by, but I was really disappointed to see the return of the naked lady silhouettes in the credits sequence. Let’s leave those in the past already! One thing I loved about this movie was the character of Montes, and her being able to claim the vengeance she’d more than earned felt like a personal apology from the franchise over the travesty that was Melina Havelock’s arc in For Your Eyes Only. But we still had to have a disposable woman character murdered in order to piss Bond off in the form of Miss Fields (to be fair, that’s one trope Casino Royale also used). I don’t think Greene was as memorable a villain as Le Chiffre, and even though I think Mathieu Amalric did a fine job in his performance I never found myself really digging his character. Maybe it’s the fact that oil as a motive has already been used in the franchise, I don’t know. One thing I really liked was how much screen time M got, and she even got her own little arc about learning who she can trust. I also just really love Jeffrey Wright as Leiter, and was glad we got to spend more time with him here. Also, this is just a frivolous aesthetic note, but I really loved the way the each location name was shown with its own bespoke font. There were plenty of things I didn’t like about this movie, but there were a lot more things that I liked and overall I think this is a standout entry in the franchise.

I give Quantum of Solace QQQQ on the Five Q Scale.

Check back soon to catch Eli’s recaps of the next couple of episodes of The Golden Palace, “Tad” and “One Angry Stan”, and after that believe it or not I’ll be covering the penultimate James Bond film when I recap Skyfall.

Until then, as always, thank you for reading, thank you for that sweet, sweet vengeance and thank you for being One of Us!

#One of Us #James Bond #007

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Big Bang Theory: The Proposal Proposal (11x01)

Cute start, lackluster continuation. Let's take a look.

Cons:

So, I'll talk in a minute about how the actual proposal moment was pretty adorable, but Amy and Sheldon spend the rest of the episode sort of at odds, and it didn't feel like a sensible transition. They go out for dinner with some of Amy's colleagues at Princeton and Sheldon gets annoyed when everybody seems more interested in Amy than in himself. Amy gets pissed at Sheldon taking all the attention, and Sheldon later realizes that he should have been a "cameo" in Amy's movie this time, instead of trying to steal the show. So, they make up.

I guess this plot thread just feels like more of the same drivel, and it was surprising to get that feeling in an episode where something big like a proposal took place. Couldn't they have found a way to keep Amy and Sheldon content for twenty minutes, instead of immediately spinning the proposal episode off into a seemingly unrelated and repetitive conflict? Pretty uninteresting.

Also, the Stephen Hawking cameos are insipid, guys. Every time I see him on this show I keep thinking that he deserves better than to be on a show that by its very nature it spends time making fun of nerds. Like, please. There are better places that Stephen Hawking could be spending his time.

In subplot news, Raj spent a little time feeling sorry for himself for being alone, which is always a regular snooze fest.

Pros:

On the positive side of things, though, we get that opening scene with Amy and Sheldon, which was all kinds of precious. Sheldon is down on one knee, having just asked Amy the big question, when his phone rings. He answers, and it's Leonard. They chat, with Penny on speaker, about where Sheldon is and why he came to find Amy, and then when Leonard congratulates him, Sheldon says they're not engaged yet because Amy is taking forever to answer. Amy replies that this is because he's on the phone, so he hangs up. A few seconds later, Leonard gets a call back from Sheldon who says "she said yes." That was a really cute way to do the proposal, looping in Leonard and Penny on the big moment in a way that felt fresh and funny.

And speaking of Leonard and Penny, for the past few seasons I've lamented the stagnation of their characters. I still think that something has to change in order to give them momentum, but this episode was a good example of how to utilize them as side-characters. Their lackluster marriage was not just a wandering plot point of doom but a brief point of comedy and insight. As Sheldon and Amy are making a big change, and Bernadette and Howard discover they have another baby on the way, Penny and Leonard's lack of forward motion is highlighted. We see them forgetting their anniversary, which is a bad sign, but we see that Leonard thought to get Penny a cake so she wouldn't feel left out of all the big changes with the other couples, which would signify that despite their relationship being a bit unconventional, it works for them. I'm not sure how this kind of theme could be sustainable, but for the time being I don't mind Penny and Leonard taking a backseat.

I'm continually surprised that Howard and Bernadette have become this show's emotional center. Howard used to be the worst of them all, and now he's the best of the guys. I liked the realistic reaction of finding out about an unexpected - and unwanted - pregnancy. There's often this assumption that if a couple has a kid, they must want more kids and all of the drama has been removed from that decision. But this is bad timing for Howard and Bernadette. It wasn't in their plans, and it wasn't what they necessarily wanted. I like that they didn't just instantly celebrate. It's okay to struggle with something like this, and I'd like to see how it plays out.

And there you have it. I wish this show would just die already, but I'm guessing it'll be around for years to come. Sigh...

7/10

#review #big bang theory #big bang theory review #the big bang theory #the big bang theory review #bbt

[herefromeden]

Law and Order Finales Review

The Episodes as a Whole (Bensler angle to come)

SVU

Overall, I thought the case itself had potential, but it didn’t pan out whatsoever. All characters in this episode seemed really surface level, and we didn’t get enough dialogue/back story to really create an emotional connection with the victims. I notice this becoming a theme with SVU, and I’ll chalk it up to COVID filming (?) The detectives themselves seemed to hold the case at arms length, and it didn’t seem to be a priority. The “twist” of the social justice woman being involved was not a twist. It was obvious from the second she was on our tv screens.

Garland is having health problems and the police force is mad at him for being “woke”. Honestly, he’s a snooze-fest so idk what else to say here.

Of course we had the Fin/Phoebe relationship subplot which I honestly love and feel that the show is completely wrecking. This is a great chance to give one of the detectives and actual love life and she has been mentioned a total of maybe 5 times since she appeared in that first episode. The wedding being canceled didn’t make sense because, as always, we got 0 information about their relationship leading up to it. I thought the opportunity for the characters to be together in a setting other than work was great. I always like to see a bit of the characters’ personal lives and in more casual settings.

I’m IN LOVE with how they dealt with Rollins and Carisi. It was such a precious moment between the two of them where Carisi was able to subconsciously voice his feelings for Amanda and her reaction was very in character and couldn’t have been done better. On the other side, it’s odd that this show that is clearly so against infidelity would allow Carisi to technically cheat on his girlfriend, but I digress.

OC

This was a huge disappointment. There were so many strong theories surrounding how the Wheatley/Kathy case was going to unfold because we have been left with an explanation that is kind of obvious and spoon-fed. I think all the viewers were grasping at straws trying to make the case more complicated or sinister than it wound up being. Furthermore, this finale didn’t actually dig up any new information (except for the twist which I’ll get to). Once the credits rolled, I had to take a second to realize that that was actually it. All other episodes so far had been packed with action and twists and turns, that the finale seemed watered down and completely unmemorable.

Wheatley all but named Olivia in the last episode, but Elliot doesn’t try to protect her or even reach out to her to give her a head’s up that something may be coming? Completely out of character and made Wheatley’s little monologue about “another woman” unnecessary.

The entire Angela storyline in the finale was both boring and confusing at the same time. Having her lawyer dig into Olivia’s identity seemed really gratuitous to me and just a quick and easy way to bring Olivia back up. Her poisoning didn’t make sense, and I don’t know if it’s because it actually didn’t make sense or that I was almost 3/4 through a bottle of Prosecco at that point. She had shower products brought in from a local shop and she was poisoned by them? Did she friggin drink the shampoo? Idk what happened there.

The entire hospital scene. This is where the train completely derailed, flipped over a few times, came apart and then exploded in a coal burning fire disaster. Why would Olivia believe that text was from Elliot when he has never in his God forsaken life called her “O”? I understand that the Morales revelation was meant to be shocking and a huge twist, but I honest to God didn’t even know what his name was until someone said it in this episode. For it to be as shocking as they intended, we needed to have a real connection with the character to feel the betrayal that Elliot and Ayana felt and share in Ayana’s heartbreak in being forced to shoot him. But I didn’t feel anything at all.

I still don’t know why Angela was meant to OD. If Wheatley had actual recordings of her, there would be no need to get her out of the way.

#so underwhelmed #honestly was hugely overhyped by the creators #svu #oc #organized crime #special victims unit #law and order #mariska hargitay #chris meloni #olivia benson #elliot stabler #ayana bell #amanda rollins #garland #sonny carisi #fin tutuola #phoebe baker #finales #reaction #review