#so EXTRA thanks to inhi

[robthegoodfellow]

Billy Hargrove’s Extensive Knife Collection

Rated G - 1.5k (or read on AO3)

commissioned by @ihni​ for harringroveforturkey! based on a discussion of our Swedish Billy headcanons 💛

(tw for brief reference to Steve being mistaken for a sexual predator because of his shady-seeming presence at the Byers)

...🔪🔪🔪 ...

The thing was—Billy Hargrove just seemed like the type to have one or more knives on him at any given moment. Like, he gave off this general sense of imminent violence, this erratic rage simmering away under the skin. Even before Hargrove beat his head into the Byers’ floor, Steve had known the guy was pretty much always a breath from destruction. It wafted off of him like the woodsy cologne that Steve had smelled and distantly pondered moments before he stopped smelling anything for a while, on account of the bastard punching him in the nose a hundred times.

So yeah, when Steve saw him during their lunch period, a couple weeks after the thrashing, the dregs of autumn warmth barely clinging to the air—a couple weeks after Hargrove had snagged him in the hallway, thrown him against a locker and seethed I find you near my sister again and I’ll gut ya quicker n’ you can blink—a couple weeks after Steve realized he was maybe into volatile dudes and that said volatile dude thought Steve was into little girls, what the fuck—like he was saying, a couple weeks after all that, when he saw Hargrove emerging from behind the gym building, from the direction of the running track, folding a knife and slipping it into the pocket of his leather jacket, he felt compelled to investigate.

Given that Steve hadn’t yet figured out how to assure someone you weren’t a creepy predator without sounding like a total creepy predator, he waited until Hargrove was out of sight, then crossed the parking lot and peered around the corner, ventured as far as the bleachers, even—but saw no signs of a recent stabbing. No student or teacher or animal bleeding out on the ground.

So he shrugged and went back inside.

But then, over the next few days, he realized he’d never once seen Hargrove in the cafeteria since that blond curly mullet had first darkened Steve’s door. Not once. And because Steve apparently hadn’t had enough combustible encounters of late, he went looking.

The bell was about to go when he got to the bleachers—and no Hargrove. Steve had half a mind to skip next period; it was history and he hated history—so fucking boring, and he hadn’t done the homework—so when he circled to the back of the metal stands and saw something pale on the ground underneath, he happily let it draw his feet nearer.

It was… a horse. A small, roughly carved wooden horse, about the height and length of his palm. Not like, a detailed horse, just the vague shape of a narrow face, a curving neck, a stout torso, and four straight simple legs. No hooves, no tail. But still, undeniably a horse.

He thought it was kinda neat, so he took it home with him, put it on his bedside table next to the alarm clock.

The following week, when he scouted the bleachers again—driven from the lunchroom because Nancy and Jonathan had been making goo-goo eyes at each other and it was still a bit fresh, that particular wound—around the same place he’d spotted the last carving, he found a wooden… bear? Or maybe a fat dog, but the rounded ears and butt were reading more “bear.”

He took that one home with him, too. Had the silly passing thought that it was nice for the horse to have company. A friend.

It was the third time patrolling that he confirmed what some small incredulous part of him had been theorizing all along. Steve skipped lunch entirely, went the long way around to approach the bleachers from behind, stopped at a distance nonetheless.

Because there, leaning against the announcer’s booth, high up in the stands, hunched over his lap, one leg hanging loose between the slats of the seats, was Billy Hargrove.

Steve would know that mullet anywhere.

Smoke drifted above him, dissipating lazy. Occasionally the hanging leg swung a bit, sort of childlike, which was—a fucking trip. Steve stayed where he was, just watching awhile, then, not knowing what he’d do or say if Hargrove spied him spying, and not wanting to disturb his peace at any rate, he turned and walked back the long way again.

So he could just—think.

When he snuck over to the bleachers before driving home the next afternoon, curiosity getting the better of him, he learned what Hargrove had been whittling that time.

It was unfinished. Maybe he’d grown frustrated, because it was more ambitious than his previous figures: the beginnings of a bearded face, its features only just manifesting from the fine-grained block.

Nearby, half-hidden on the dirt ground, was another surprise. He would’ve missed it if it hadn’t gleamed, catching the sun precisely at the right moment, because its handle was the exact shade of the surrounding moldering maple leaves—this deep reddish brown.

A knife.

But not really the kind of knife he’d imagine in Hargrove’s possession—and not the folding pocketknife he’d glimpsed before. No, this was—an antique? Sharp blade about three inches long, and the handle this weird oblong shape, the letters WGF burned into the wood toward the base.

And maybe he should’ve left it there—because Hargrove would notice it was gone, was bound to come looking where he last had it—but Steve was selfish. A bit of a jerk.

So he pocketed both. Didn’t add them to his bedside collection, though.

No, they were still in his pocket the following day, a Friday, as he strode, heart hammering, to the bleachers, ears ringing like the lunch bell forgot to shut up.

Hargrove was already there, pacing under the stands, cursing under his breath, the dirt bare from frantic swipes.

Steve cleared his throat—and holy fuck that was a switchblade, that was a switchblade Hargrove had whipped out in one fluid movement as he whirled, the steel flashing free.

“Please don’t gut me for real!” It was choked, high and hysterical, hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry—I just—” Fumbling, he reached into his coat, drew out the knife.

The moment Hargrove saw it, he darted, quick as a cat, and snatched it from limp fingers.

“I—uh, found it,” Steve finished, lamely.

Hargrove didn’t look at him, busy sliding the knife into a worn leather sheath he’d produced from somewhere in his jacket. He tucked both it and the folded switchblade back out of sight, and Steve faintly wondered just how many knives Hargrove carried on his person.

“You waiting for thanks or something?” Hargrove asked, his tone very much indicating that thanks would not be forthcoming.

“What—what is it? The knife?” Steve asked, because he did, after all, have a death wish. “It’s… important?”

Maybe he should just let Hargrove stab him, Steve thought, mentally face-palming. Put him out of his misery.

Hargrove glared at him a long moment, then—to Steve’s everlasting shock—he answered. “A sloyd knife. My morfar’s—grandpa’s.”

“Oh,” Steve said, heartened, trying to work up the nerve to—just do it. Haltingly, he drew the bearded figure from his pocket. “For—um, carving stuff?”

Hargrove stared at the misshapen block of wood, unreadable, but Steve firmly reminded himself he’d faced down monsters from a hell dimension, and soldiered on.

“Is it him? Your… morfar?” Did his best to repeat the sounds, awkward.

Hargrove blinked, still didn’t respond.

Steve waved his extended arm a bit, encouraging. “You should finish it.”

Finally, fucking finally, Hargrove reached out, took it.

Sensing he was fast overstaying his welcome, Steve backstepped, nodding sharply, and turned toward the parking lot—then jerked around again.

“I’m not a perv,” he blurted. Because there wasn’t any graceful way to say it, he’d realized, flushing hot in the cool air.

Hargrove cracked a smile, a small little thing, and Steve stupidly traced it with his eyes, riveted. “I know.” He scuffed the dirt with a dusty boot. “She said you were—babysitting.”

“Yes,” Steve agreed, silently thanking Max with his entire being. “I was. Doing that.”

And to ensure he didn’t humiliate himself further, Steve spun, marched to the school entrance without looking back.

He spent the next week avoiding Hargrove, not wanting to seem like the stalker he was in case the guy had put two and two together on the lack of discarded carvings among the leaves.

After last bell, students pouring across the parking lot en route to weekend plans, Steve trudged alone to his car, which would convey him to an empty house. His key was in the door before he saw it, perched on the windshield wiper.

A rugged face above slouching shoulders, slender waves gouged in his moustache and beard that suited the curly hair peeking beneath one of those old-fashioned caps with the short brim.

He looked up, unconsciously seeking the spot Hargrove always parked, and saw him leaning against the Camaro, staring back.

Steve smiled.

…🔪🔪🔪 …

Edited to add, in case anyone’s curious:

All about Dala horses

Carved bear looked like this

All about Sloyd/Slöjd knives

#harringrove #swedish billy #harringroveforturkey #harringrove for turkey #this was a much-needed fluffy break from the angst fic #so EXTRA thanks to inhi #billy hargrove #steve harrington

[elejahfanfic]

Hello Love

Hello Love

Fanfiction

Part 1

Pairing: Miguel Galindo x Elena Gilbert

a tvd crossover AU story

a/n: well, here is another fluffy fanfiction crossover story. This time all human. Since I am a huge fan of the vampire diaries - kind of always do crossovers with them.

As of recent I really started to like the character of Nick Amaro from Law&Order_svu, played by Danny Pino. I also love him as Miguel Galindo in Mayans MC... and so, in this story - paired with Elena Gilbert, of course, my favourite female character.

I hope you like it. Thanks for reading. xoxo

tag @miguelsbrat​

♤♡◇♧

"The conversation ended really bad," Elena said to Caroline, "I can't breathe- I have this pain here"

The brunette put her hand on her chest.

"Elena-now you are exaggerating. You said the same thing when you broke up with Matt." Caroline was blunt with her oldest friend.

"This is different. I thought he was the one." Elena tried to make her point why she was so upset.

"Guys sleep around,you know that. Maybe not all, but -  Damon is such a guy-ok-where is your bag, your keys? Come on we need drinks. Lots of Martinis! "Caroline helped her friend put her jacket on. Elena wiped her tears off.

"Come on, get into the car" The blonde huffed a bit.

Elena could not say no to her and she didn't want to. She needed her friends beside her and she knew that, even though they could not make the heartache magically go away, they will do everything to make her feel a bit better.

They drove off to a place called Liberty Park. Elena put her sunglasses on, to hide her puffed up eyes. She felt a throbbing headache now set in.

"A walk in the park and some air will help", Caroline chatted away, "so tell me- you went to his place and she opened the door"

"Yes - and he was  like - oops, sorry - this  here - Krystal being there - it just a mistake- I love you like crazy, yadda, yadda, yadda-URGH-sure he loves me like crazy- and then sleeps with her?!" Elena inhaled sharply now and Caroline could notice that anger was taking over. It was good. Anger was the first step of starting to deal with the situation. Or maybe not. But, at least she was not crying anymore.

"Anger is good. Let it all out." Caroline said in a supportive kind of a tone, continuing, of course with questions, "And so what did you tell him? Why did you get into the fight in the first place?"

"Well, about her! Whenever she calls, he just goes over to her place. I know that they have a kid,-and now I will sound like a bitch- and I love the boy! You know me. I love kids. I want to have at least three-huh"

"Maybe, she staged everything?!" Caroline then said.

"No, he actually admitted sleeping with her!" Elena said.

"Really?" Elena nodded, "Stefan said they broke up because she wanted time off to herself. She kicked Damon out, right?!"

"I think that he has never really stopped loving her. And they have a five- year old kid - and what was I thinking?!"

"Stop that. You fell for him. And it's not the end of the world. Come on now, you need a Maritni. I know I do!" Caroline now urged her to go to their favourite bar that was not far from the park.

To give Elena much needed girly support, Caroline now called their other three friends to join them. Dialling Rebekah Mikaelson's number first.

"Rebekah?! Yes, if you can-of course we are- will call Bonnie-can you call Yemaya?-Good-Yep-See ya."

"I want pizza and and a big load of Martinis, so I can forget everything!" Elena said as they sat down at a table.

Caroline now told the waiter to keep the Martinis coming.

Elena was a sensitive creature, full of dreams, pure emotion, a sweet soul. Caroline was a very pragmatic one, strong, very opinionated, but with a heart of gold. And she would do anything for her bffs, but also for all those who suffered in any way. No wonder she got a law degree.

"Why me? I loved him" Elena now ventured into the self pity zone.

"You just fall in love- and put all heart out there!" Caroline stated, "and  usually with the wrong guys- just like me! But you will be cured. Bonnie will get the pizza. I'll give her a call."

Whenever there was a heartbreak, problems at work or family problems, the five would meet no matter what it was, they made a pact to be there for one another. But they also found time to get together to have a good time as well.

"Breathe now, Elena!" Rebekah said as she arrived a bit later, hugging her friend. "You will forget him! I promise you! Tomorrow it will be- Damon, who!?"

The waiter now served them another round of cocktails.

"Cocktails and pizza, seriously?" Bonnie said as she finally arrived.

"Elena wanted pizza?!" Caroline explained.

"Nevermind. What did you get?" Rebekah now said and  opened the pizza box.

"Extra cheese and pepperoni" Bonnie replied.

"Perfect! Caroline said taking a slice.

"It's kareoke night!" Bonnie looked at the board near the bar, adding, "Yemaya will be late. She has to finish her  article!"

"I don't know why she won't come and work for me-but I guess she likes to be a serious journalist and not write about fashion." Rebekah remarked taking a sip of her drink.

Rebekah was the editor of a fashion magazine in her family's newspaper empire. She and Caroline met in college and struck a friendship immediately. Bonnie became friends with Elena and Caroline in senior high as she moved from a small town from the north. Yemaya was Bonnie's cousin on her father's side.

The only one of them that had a steady relationship was Bonnie, dating Rebekah's brother Kol. The other women had loads of heartbreaks behind them and knew exactly how Elena felt.

A crazy fun night was starting as finally Yemaya arrived at the bar.

Rebekah, Elena and Caroline entertained everyone with their kareoke night. Letting go was just what everyone needed. Noone cared  about how they actually would feel in the  morning. But who cared about the hangover on a working day, once in a while everything needed to be let loose.

Caroline made sure Elena got home safe and sound, tucking her into bed litterally.

"You are my best bestie" Elena muttered with a drunken cheerful smile.

"Sweet dreams!" Caroline smirked at her friend before she switched off the light.

She exited Elena's tiny apartment.

The morning arrived, or better said, lunch hour was already on for most people, when she woke up and checked at her phone. There  were several missing calls with Damon's name on the display. She tossed the phone away and now tried to get up. Her head still felt woozy and she slightly regretted having way too many Martinis. She walked to the bathroom very slowly. A long shower would help as always.

Rebekah and Caroline already had met for brunch. Unlike Elena, they eased up with their drinks but were revisiting some of the scenes of the previous night.

"You could have chosen singing career. I never understood why you got into Law School." Rebekah remarked.

"My mum and dad - you she is the dective and he is the lawyer. It's good that I can let some steam out once in a while."

"Do you think she will take Damon back?! You know, Elena-she will get soft when he starts talking sweet to her"

"I don't know," Caroline said, "I really didn't get that she got into Damon. I have always thought that it would be his brother Stefan. They could talk, he was always helping her with stuff. After the break up with Matt."

"Wasn't she also going out with Tyler? He was really something.  Can I guy be so full of himself?!" Rebekah said.

"Ah, don't mention Tyler. So  wrong for her"

"Is there any right guy out there?!" Rebekah wondered, as she had a string of unhappy relationships and loads of one-night stands that she wanted to forget.

"Bonnie is the lucky one. I thought that Kol had already proposed. They are now four years together." Caroline changed the subject.

"I think that he is going to ask her to move in together. Well, they practically live together. One weekend they are inhis apartment, the next weekend in hers. Oh, I got news. Big news. Klaus is coming home. He is done building houses in Eastern Europe. Mother is preparing a great welcome party on Saturday. You guys are all invited." Rebekah said.

"Klaus is coming home?! His been like away-what-forever?!" Caroline remarked.

"Ten years. And so is Miguel. My adoptive brother. I guess they both had enough of being away from the family. Actually, Miguel has been back for a month now. Buy he is no party person, you know. His son Cristobal is so amazing."

"Cristobal?" Caroline asked.

“Yeah. I am so glad he is back. He is so much fun. Loves photography. He is so like his mother. And he definitely not going to be a surgeon."

"Oh, yeah -Miguel is a surgeon, right?"

"Yes. He is a cardiologist. Oh, when he and Kol get together, there is always talk of scientific research. Boring if you ask me"

"That Kol is an orthopedic surgeon, kind of still is so totally strange," Caroline stated,"you never talked about Miguel!? How come he went to live in Mexico?"

"It's a long story." Rebekah said with a sad huff.

"You said once that his wife died?"

"Yes. And he- kind of shut down. Thank God he had Cris." Rebekah now told her friend a little bit more about Miguel and how he was adopted by her father and mother when he was five years old.

❤️❤️❤️

Elsewhere

Elena called her shop just to let her staff know that she would be arriving late that day. Her assistant Nora told her that everything was under control and that she can take the day off.

Her phone rang again and now she swiped her call open.

"Stop calling me, Damon! I so don't want to know-I am done!!! We are done!!!!" Elena pressed the red button on the phone to click the call off.

Inhaling sharply she turned to the mirror as she was about to open the door.

"Looking good girl. You are so going to rip him out of your heart!"  She put the sunglasses on and took her bag, slamming the door shut behind her. 

She had no particular idea where she wanted to go. She just wanted to walk. And so she walked. Shopping was always a good option, hoping the hangover would slowly clear up.

Her phone rang and said, "Hey. I am fine, Bonnie. Just taking a walk. Maybe I will get to the shop later. Need to revise some recipes. Yes, he called. But I slammed the phone down on him. I don't really care. I am done crying. I am done with him. I am done dating. Yeah-ok-I will talk to you later"

She now  put the phone in her bag and being still hangover didn't look where she was going, and as she wanted to open the door to a cafe she nearly bumped into a man who was about to do the same.

"Sorry." Elena apologized immediately. 

"Oh-it's my fault- I - just-my thoughts were somewhere else. Please" the man in his forties then opened the door and let Elena get in first.

"I am usually not so distracted”

"It's fine. " the man said. 

They looked at one another as if time had stopped for a moment, and they didn't know what to do next.

"Where are my manners," he then said, "Can I offer you of coffee as an apology?"

"Yes" Elena muttered. "Shall we?"

"Yeah" Elena slipped and they found a nice available table at the window. "They have great smoothies here"

"They do? You know this place very well, then?"

"Pretty much. It's like my breakfast/lunch place- strawberry is the best" Elena recommended.

"Right. I will have a smoothie then- and coffee with skimmed milk" the dapper looking man said to the shop assistant.

Elena ordered nearly the same, adding blueberry pancakes to the order.

This was something he had not done for ages, namely, inviting a woman for a drink so casually, even if it was just a harmless cup of coffee. It was as if someone or something nudged him to do it, or maybe because he saw  certain saddnes in her eyes, or maybe it was just Cupid doing his job of getting two people together.

"I was at a party last night - and kind of had one too many-and need all this to wake up." Elena explained all the food that arrived.

"It must have been some party" the man he said politely.

"I am not usually doing this in the middle of the week- but-it was something out of the ordinary."

"You don't have to explain."

"No, I know. So-what is it that you do?" Elena now took notice that he was wearing a very expensive business suit and his whole aura gave out that he was a very professional man.

"I am a cardiologist. I work at the University hospital."

"Oh, right. I’m a pastry chef." Elena said.

"Ah, so you are very well versed in the sugar department" the man nooded watching at the brunette in a sweet way.

"Yes. I own a shop called Lena's Cookies in the the Linden street."

They chatted some more about her work until a phone call interupted them. He apologized saying that he had to take a call. But soon, Elena's phone went as well. It was Caroline. Elena now told her friend where she was, but nothing about who she was with.

"I am so sorry." the man  said as he returned to the table. "This was my son. I will have to leave now, but it was very nice meeting you-?" In all that initial confusion they had not introduced themselves to one another.

"Elena!"the brunette said.

"Mike! Nice to meet you, Elena." Miguel said with a little smile, excusing himself.

"Mike." Elena muttered to herself as she sat down at the table again and dreamily sipped down her coffee.

#miguel galindo #elena gilbert #fanfiction #fanfiction crossover #tvd crossover #klaroline #kennett #alternate universe #alternate pairing

[eyez-ff-blog]

○○ eyez | fifty-two

The Roc Nation Grammy Brunch had become one of the most popular Grammy Weekend events in Hollywood; it was almost more popular than the show itself at this point, because anyone who was invited to it was considered to be the cream of the crop in the entertainment industry. Jermaine’s mentor had been at the helm of the crop in the eyes of many and as one of the first signed artists, a lot of people expected J to follow within Mr. Carter’s footsteps. It was only now that he felt as if he had finally lived up to the hype. He didn’t feel ashamed about it now, however, because he had forged his own path and pulled from such a thick shadow.

Jermaine had been thinking about the Grammy’s ever since he was nominated. He had three nominations under his belt—best Rap album, best Rap/Sung Performance with Courtney, and Producer of the Year in the Non-Classical category. He was trying his best not to overly excite himself but everyone around him seemed to be doing all the worrying and stressing for him. He hadn’t been nominated for a Grammy since the mainstreamed leg of his career started, and he had come so fa since then in both his business approaches and his life. Even as he stood amongst people he had seen a thousand times over both in business and leisure, things felt different. He swore that he wouldn’t hype himself up, but he felt confident for once...maybe this time, things would be different.

“Baby, you gonna eat that slice of bacon?” J glanced over to see that Beija had all but cleaned her plate of her vegetable omelet, and despite her swearing that she was going to go the weekend without trying to eat everything in sight, so far she was failing. “C’mon, don’t waste it if you’re not gonna eat it,” She pouted as Janiya laid a head against the side of her mother’s body, watching everyone as she ate the last of her mandarin orange slices.

“Go ahead,” He said, and she took one of the two slices that sat near his half-eaten eggs and untouched waffle.

“Jermaine...eat,” He heard Beija say, and he sighed deeply as he felt her free hand slip into his. “Not eating won’t fight off the jitters. It’s only going to make you more nervous and sick. Remember, we still have rehearsals today,” She said, and he nodded slowly.

“I hear you,” He scooped another forkful of eggs into his mouth, chewing slowly as he thought about the performance opportunity he accepted from the show. He’d be gracing the Grammy’s stage in the form of a performance as well, and that was probably more nerve wracking than the rest of the show. But with the things he had put together he did feel excited about the surprises he had in store. He just had to try to relax first.

“So you actually came? Good. Thought I was gonna have to chew you out.”

Jermaine glanced up and a smile spread across his face as he once again crossed paths with one of the main reasons he could even be where he was. Standing to his feet, he quickly hugged the man before respectfully greeting his wife, who was gracefully accompanying her three children. “How you late to your own party, man? That’s bad manners,” J joked before he glanced back at Beija, who seemed to be stunned at the sight. “Baby?”

“I—I’m sorry. Hi,” Beija chuckled softly as she stood up slowly, holding out her hand to shake. “Forgot where I was for a moment; I’m Beija,” She introduced.

“Oh, I know. I remember you from the phone call we had,” The older woman chuckled softly before she looked down at Janiya and smiled. “And who’s this gorgeous girl?” She asked.

“Beyoncé,” Niya seemed to be just as stunned, and J did all he could not to laugh at his child. As poised as both she and her mother could be, the two had a love for Mrs. Carter that was amusing and endearing to say the least.

“That’s Janiya. My mini me,” Beija smiled a bit. “Or at least, from the nose down.”

“I was about to say—she’s got the boy’s eyes,” J shook his head as his gaze returned to the man before him, their smiles mirrored down to the last detail. “So how you feeling?” He asked.

“Nervous as always. You know how I do it,” J shook his head as he glanced over, seeing their oldest child bombard Beija with questions about her small yet noticeable baby belly.

“I don’t know why. I can’t say much about the awards because that can go in any direction. But the performance will be fine. I know you; you’ll be fine in that sense,” He said before they both watched as Janiya was being told the proper way to be a ‘big sister.’ “How far along is she?”

“Three months—she’ll be four by the end of February,” J couldn’t help but to smile as he watched Beija navigate through her nerves as she spoke to the woman before her. “I’m wondering if I’m gonna get bit by the multiple bug too. My best friend just had twin girls of his own back in December,” He explained.

“God, for real? Yeah, everyone’s getting hit by it. Knowing you, you might get quintuplets,” The joke caused both men to laugh loudly.

“Now see Shawn—chill, man! I’m already getting ran by these two. I don’t need more than one more at this point,” J laughed a bit before he shook his head. “But for real, it’s nice to see you. I ain’t been face to face with you since...damn, Miami? For the On the Run Tour,” He reminisced.

“Oh, yeah! Has it been that long? Wow,” Shawn frowned a bit before he shook his head. “That’s your fault, though. You know you can bring the family by the crib whenever you like. I’m sure your girls would enjoy the time,” A waitress passed with a tray full of mimosas, and the men took one each.

“I know. I try not to be all in your face, though. You know how I am,” J mumbled before he slid his free hand into his pocket. “But you know, it’s funny because the last time I spoke to you I felt like I was in a rut creatively. Now we’re sitting here a day before the Grammy’s—and the most personal album I ever made just might win it all. You were right; I guess I had to just let the inspiration hit me,” He rambled.

“Shoot, it looks like you were in a lot of ruts. No offense of course,” Shawn said, and for a moment Jermaine held a face of confusion before he glanced back at Beija. His eyebrows slowly rose before he glanced back at his mentor, and began to laugh. It was a chuckle at first, but then it turned into a full laugh that he felt from the tips of his toes.

“Wow. Maybe...” He shook his head as he decided to throw the drink back in a single swig. The way life and the universe worked was always a wonder to Jermaine, and now he felt even more awestruck than ever.

February 10 – Los Angeles, California

The hotel suite was fairly small but functional, with the silk curtains blocking out the sun that was now starting its descent into the horizon. Aside from the music playing from Jermaine’s laptop that sat atop the Cherrywood table in the corner, all was silent. The man sat lazily in the lounge chair that sat near the table, and he sighed softly before he licked over his lips, glancing down at the black three-piece suit that he had recently changed into. His hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, and instead of wearing his contacts he opted with his glasses. He stayed within the group chat on his phone, texting back and forth with those who didn’t make it to the show to keep his mind clear, but with every Twitter notification came a new word of good luck from a fan or colleague. Now things were as real as they could get, and there was no turning back.

“And the little girl is now ready to go,” J glanced up to see Janiya emerging from the bathroom, and his smile broadened a the sight of her—instead of a dress, Beija decided to dress the girl in a miniature version of the suit he had on without the extra suit jacket. Her hair was twisted and while the top of her head was bunched into a top bun, the rest of her twists hung in the back of her head.

“Oh man, look at you!” Jermaine scooped Niya into his arms once she got to him, and she laughed as he kissed her cheeks. “You look so beautiful. Everyone is gonna be so jealous of you,” He poked her stomach lightly.

“Say thank you, Niya,” He could hear Beija from the bathroom.

“Thank you,” Janiya said with a small and almost knowing smile.

“You’re very welcome. Now where is mama at?” He asked, and he was soon welcomed with Beija’s presence as she entered the main area of the suite. A low whistle escaped from his mouth as he furrowed his eyebrows together, allowing his eyes to take in the black dress that hugged every curve on her body. The slit on the left side of her dress showed just enough leg to give some sexual appeal, and the material and fit of the dress seemed to make her feel more comfortable since she was starting to show more with her pregnancy.

“Yes? No?” Beija slowly turned in the dress, and Jermaine shook his head slowly.

“I’m going to settle with ‘you look nice,’ because what I want to say—...” J began to chuckle to himself.

“Good choice, Lamarr. Let’s be good people this evening,” Beija snorted a bit before she went to slip on her heels. “Is everyone else ready to go?” She asked.

“Yep. We’re the last ones so whenever you’re ready we can go,” He said before sitting back inhis chair, watching as Janiya stared up at her mother. “You still take forever to get ready,” He teased.

“I sure do. I gotta be the cutest one there!” B laughed to herself as she applied her diamond drop earings, letting her hands slowly mess with the curly ‘mohawk’ style that she had gotten at the salon. Her hair was still relatively short but now, Jermaine was fully used to it. “Let me get these heels on, then we can go,” She said. Once Beija was completely ready, the three left the hotel and headed down to the lobby to get into the car that was waiting for them. “Okay so you remember everything for the performance?” She asked.

“Yes, baby.”

“And your speech—just in case?”

“It’s in my pocket.”

“Am I forgetting anything?”

“Beija,” Jermaine laughed a bit as they got onto the elevator, and she gave him an apologetic smile as he moved a stray curl out of her face. “Don’t be nervous. I know I was a ball of nerves myself yesterday but I’m good now, so you be good too. No matter what happens tonight, we’re there to have fun, okay?” He assured her.

“I know, I know. But...this is a long time coming, J. And I know you won’t care if you lose but I want to see you win so badly. You deserve to be recognized and I just want tonight to be okay. I guess it’s just me being worrisome again but you know,” She shrugged.

“I appreciate you wanting this for me,” He leaned over and kissed her temple. “But relax. What’s supposed to happen is going to happen. Now breathe,” He smirked before the doors to the elevator opened.

Eventually they got outside to the SUV that was waiting for them, and once he made sure that the girls were in the car, J got in with them before they headed off towards the Staples Center. The ride there was long because of the traffic but they were ahead of schedule so they were able to be a bit more leisurely in their drive there.

“Mm, look at Whitney and Zeus, they already made it inside,” Beija passed Jermaine her phone, and he glanced at the pictures that Whit had posted on her Instagram profile. He nodded slowly at the sparkling nude-colored dress she had on, and the white suite that Zeus decided to wear with the coordinating nude tie and handkerchief. He also noticed the large engagement ring on her finger as they posted together within the venue.

“They look nice. You see that ring, though?” J chuckled softly to himself as he saw the notification from Courtney—she had sent Beija an Instagram direct message. “Court sent you something,” He announced.

“Open it up and let me see!” Beija glanced over as J opened the message then opened the photo of the blue dress that Courtney decided to wear to the show. “Oh wow, she looks gorgeous. I feel like a proud grandma,” B laughed.

“She does look really nice. But save your emotions, granny. Don’t need you smearing your make-up,” He teased.

It was around 4:30 in the afternoon when the family arrived at the red carpet, and J glanced out the tinted window at the multitude of cameras and reporters that lined up the carpet. “Y’all ready?” He asked.

“Ready. You ready to go, mama?” B looked down at Janiya, who seemed to be growing restless and anxious to get out of the car. “Yeah...she’s definitely ready,” She smiled.

“Let’s do this then,” J heard the doors unlock, and he sat up a bit straighter as the driver got out and came around to the backseat to open the door. Jermaine slowly got out of the car before helping Janiya out, then assisted Beija next before the driver shut the door. He scooped his daughter into his arms and the three headed down the red carpet slowly.

Every so often Jermaine would stop for photos, but it seemed that all the interest was focused on his wife and the package she was carrying. He was completely fine with that—Niya seemed to be shy around all the cameras, and it was something he could relate to. It’d be interesting to see all the blog posts in the morning, though. The last stop was for E! News; Jermaine gave the interviewer a quick rundown of the Tom Ford suits he and his daughter donned, the stunning Vera Wang gown Beija adorned, and his thoughts about the night. Whoever was interviewing him must have known how he was, because the young girl made sure every question required an answer with few words. He appreciated that.

Eventually they did get to their seats, and a couple minutes had passed before Niya let out a squeal. “Whitney!” She called out, and J glanced up to see the woman approaching them.

“Hey, what’s good?” J said before he stood up and hugged her.

“Hey, J! And hi babygirl—how are you?” Whitney hugged Niya next, then Beija before standing up straight, adjusting her dress a bit. “I can’t believe it—it’s been so amazing so far. You know I just freaking met Daft Punk? And then Drake said he loved our music...I still can’t believe it,” She giggled.

“You earned that, though! I’m proud of you guys. Where’s Zeus, though?” Beija asked.

“He got caught in a conversation with Kanye. That might last a while,” Whit snickered before shaking her head. “How’s the bun? You’re getting a little bigger,” She reached and gently rubbed B’s stomach.

“Girl, my feet are killing in these shoes and I am a hungry something right now. But we’re doing well! I saw that ring, too—congratulations,” B spoke with an air of excitement, and J nodded in agreement.

“Thanks! The trip to Greece was amazing but I had no idea that Z was going to pop the question. But you know, you me and Courtney must have a girls’ night while we’re here still. I have some tea for both of you,” She raised her thick eyebrows, and B chuckled lowly.

“Oh Lord—I don’t like the sound of that right there,” Beija giggled. “But just let me know; we should be here for a few more days. I know J was going to go see Cody while we were here too so it’ll work itself out.”

“I’m about to go and get some fries or something because I’m actually starving right now, but it was great seeing you guys! Good luck Jermaine! You’re going to do great,” Whitney grinned as she passed them to head down the aisle.

“Thanks Whit!” J called over his shoulder before he chuckled. “That girl is something. Always moving and shaking,” He leaned back in his seat slowly.

Before long the show began and the opening performance was one of the brand-new pop sensations that cranked out of the ‘Disney Channel’ machine and decided to go and proceed with a mainstreamed career. The current host was an up and coming comedian that had just recently found a high level of fame. Jermaine just watched the show as he got a taste of what the industry was like at this point. It seemed like the more things changed, the more things tended to stay the same. There were some fresh new artists that piqued his interest, but then there were the same artists doing the same old song and dance and being awarded for it. Eventually, Jermaine had to head backstage to prepare for his performance.

Changing out of his suit, he slid on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans before slipping on his sneakers; if he was going to be out on stage, he was going to be comfortable. Once he changed, he waked out of the dressing room and walked through the backstage area before he saw the attendant he was supposed to work with—he remembered the man from rehearsals. “Ah, you’re here. Ms. Salter’s down in the tunnel,” The attendant replied.

“Thanks,” Jermaine grabbed the microphone from him before he jogged down towards the underground ‘tunnel’ where his stage set was located. Sitting on the stage was Courtney, dressed identical to him. “C,” He called out to her, and the two shared a hug once she stood up to her feet. “You ready?”

“Always,” She said with a grin before he nodded. He watched some of the other workers silently move about the set as he listened to the action above ground—his eyebrows rose as he heard familiar voices, smiling a bit. “Sounds like Z and Whit nabbed the Alternative award,” He mumbled.

“I hear them,” Courtney chuckled. “This just might be our night, J. What do you think?” She asked.

“It is. I already feel like it is.” He said as the platformed set slowly began to rise up towards the stage.

There was a small ‘break’ between the last award given and the announcement for the next performance—once everyone got back to their seats, the announcer came over the speaker to introduce them: “Ladies and gentlemen, Drake,” The crowd roared as the male came out, dressed exquisitely in his tuxedo as he approached the mic that was rising to accommodate his height.

“Our next performer is someone I can call a long-time friend,” He began. “He has been working hard on his craft for over ten years, and has been known to the world for over eight. Tonight, he’s nominated for three Grammy awards, and despite how long it’s been since we’ve seen him here—he belongs here. Alongside him is a beautiful woman whose slowly but surely becoming a household name with her sweet and sultry sounds. Performing their song together for the first time tonight, here’s J. Cole and Ari Lennox,” He introduced, and the audience applauded as the lights dimmed and the projector-screened gate parted to reveal the set.

It seemed that Jermaine and Courtney were sitting back to back on stools, trapped within a metal cage. Hanging from the ceiling of the cage were a multitude of polaroid photos that hung from black strings. As they sat, the DJ that Jermaine had hired began to play the mix they had created specifically for the show—it started with an excerpt from an older song. The voice was altered to sound slowed down and lowered in pitch. “Get to know somebody and you really learn a lot about ‘em. Won’t be long before you start to doubt ‘em—tell yourself you better off without ‘em. Then in time you will find can’t walk without ‘em; can’t talk without ‘em, can’t breathe without ‘em. Came here together, you can’t leave without ‘em, so you walk back in, make a scene about ‘em. On your Amerie it’s just 1 thing about ‘em; it’s called love—...”

As soon as the voice was cut short, the instrumental to ‘Mirror’s Edge’ began, and Jermaine rose from his seat as he heard the crowd applaud in approval. The song was popular on urban radio and was even leaking into Top 40 stations around the country. Jermaine actually enjoyed this song because despite the beautifully crafted and sentimental sounds, the lyrics were almost painful. He began to rapabout how much he emphasized with the girl he loved and how much he connected with her in both tribumph and within trial. Courtney’s chorus was haunting with her tone of voice as she ‘answered’ back to his lyrics, claiming that he’d never understand what it felt like to be in pain.

As he went into the second verse, the DJ switched up the instrumental, mixing the percussion of the original song with the melody of ‘She’s Mine,’ allowing Jermaine to continue to plead through his song. He could feel the energy of the crowd even as he pressed his hand against the sides of the cage, making it seem like he was dying to escape from it. He could only hear himself and the instrumental in his earphones, but when he focused hard enough, he could hear the crowd rapping right along with him. He couldn’t help but to enjoy the knowledge that people were understanding and feeling where he was coming from with his music. Once the song came to its conclusion, he nodded his head slowly to the music, mumbling the first few words of one of his favorite Eyez cuts: “I never felt so alive. I never felt so alive.”

When the performance was over, the set was lowered back into the tunnel, and he and Courtney rushed out of the area so they could get ready for the next performance to come, as Jermaine reached the main backstage area, he grabbed a bottle of water before he was led back to his seat. He saw Beija, and he chuckled to himself as he watched her pouting reaction to hwoever had just won the best Country Album.

“Hey,” He grabbed her waist, and she chuckled as she kissed his cheek. “So? What did you think?” He mumbled into her ear as he felt Niya tugging at his pant leg. He grabbed his girl and picked her up into his arms.

“Everyone was out here rapping along! It was amazing,” She smiled as she shook her head. “Even Niya was trying to sing along,” She laughed.

“Did you like it babygirl? I did good?” Jermaine asked Niya, and the girl nodded.

“Good job,” She said softly, and he laughed a bit as he kissed her forehead. His attention quickly snapped back to the country group on stage as they continued their acceptance speech, and he tok a deep breath as he slowly rocked his daughter from side to side. The hardest part was over now.

After two more performances, Keith Powers and Bryshere Gray emerged to the stage to present the ‘Best Rap Album’ category—from what Jermaine knew, the two were starring in a new movie together. He was pretty fond of their work so far so he was intrigued about what they’d put out. As they talked about their connection and love for the hip-hop and rap culture, they dove straight into the nominated candidates. He felt Beija grab his hand and he squeezed it as he watched the nominees on screen. Not only was he up against Drake who had a pretty solid year before, and his own label mate who had been doing nothing but flourishing since the release of The Never Story back in 2017. He wasn’t sure who would win, but he was pretty happy just to be here. He remembered when The Sideline Story was nominated and the hopes and disappointment that came with that night. From that day, he swore that the system was broken and wasn’t looking for anything true to form. He wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth then, or if he was just embittered by the loss, but he hadn’t been interested in award shows since then. As long as the people who loved him got his words and held them to their hearts, he’d never be disappointed in himself or his work. But tonight, he felt nothing but peace. He had come so far in every sense of the word, that he could possibly be mad even if he didn’t win. As Beija said, him making it here after everything he had been through was a statement, and now he understood what she meant.

“And the winner is...” Bryshere opened the envelope before Keith let out a loud yell.

“YES!” Keith laughed. “J. Cole, Sinner Reborn!”

What?

The world seemed to slow down as Jermaine looked around him; he could hear clapping and cheering, but all he could feel was the young and hungry boy he used to be. In a flash, he could remember when he and Ibrahim came together to make Dreamville, and those years he spent trying to get through school in New York. He remembered all the rent he piled up in his apartment, and meeting Shawn for the first time. The years of working, sweat, tears, and blood had all led to this, and the fire that burned within the Jermaine that lived in his 20s could finally be satisfied and laid to rest. Deep down, all he ever wanted was to be appreciated by everyone, and the moment had finally arrived.

He felt Beija kissing the side of his face, and he leaned down to kiss her before he kissed Janiya’s forehead and passed her over to her mother. He jogged towards the stage and he could feel people patting his back along the way. Once he made it onto the stage, one of the attendants passed him the heavy award. He stood in front of the mic and he quickly read over the inscription on the gold plate—this wasn’t a dream, but he had to make sure.

“Wow,” He laughed a bit before he looked out at the crowd. “I honestly didn’t think I was going to win this. I’m beyond honored that y’all thought I was good enough for this,” He licked over his lips quickly. “I gotta give thanks to God. Man, my mama and brother. I love y’all. My friends, my Dreamville family. Ib! We did it brother,” He shook his head as he glanced over the crowd again. He had an eloquent speech oin his pocket but his hands were shaking so badly that he thought he’d drop the award if he tried to go get it. “Everyone who worked on the project with me, you are appreciated. All my fans...you are the best in the world and I love each and every one of you. And lastly, I gotta dedicate this to the subject matter of my album. This is to my wife, one of the strongest women I know and the reason why I do any of this. Beija, I love you baby. Janiya, daddy loves you so much. Thank you two for everything you do. To the ‘Ville,” He held up the award. “We’re here! We finally got it!” The crowd applauded as he was ushered backstage, and he huffed softly as he glanced up at the ceiling before he shook his head. “Man, thank you,” He spoke softly.

The night continued on and although Jermaine lost the Producer of the Year award to Timberland, he and Courtney nabbed the Rap/Sung Performance—he was now the owner of two Grammy’s, and though that seemed like nothing to some people, it would be something he’d cherish for life. He had put everything he had and everything he was into the project, and now not only was it a true testament to the love he shared for his wife, but it would serve to be the catylist to what turned out to be one of the most exciting nights of his career. Even as he took photo ops with his awards, the reality still hadn’t hit him. Nothing would ever be the same after this, but he was sure that as long as he knew what was important in life, he would never change.

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