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harrowharks-iliac-crest · 8 months

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Back to Gideon - Third skull, here comes Ianthe.

Her hair and skin were colourless; that pallid face brightened to see me. “Harry,” she said. Harrow, she was genuinely delighted to see you. The smile on that thin white face was real. “Harry, you’re—” I moved closer and totally fucking ruined her day. “Alive, bitch,” I said. That expression hardened like it had been dropped in quick-set concrete. [...] Ianthe flicked a lock of goo-stained hair over her shoulder, leaned against the kitchen wall, and said: “Oh—you.”

Some kind of plan has just been ruined, methinks.

There would be a goddamn reckoning. Nonagesimus, I was going to reck her. I said: “Do you want your ass kicked now, or do you want your ass kicked later, or both?” “Please, let’s address this like gentlewomen,” said Ianthe, without much hope.

Gideon, I fucking missed you.

“This can’t be happening.” “She’s not even into you, okay? It’s just the bones. She’s into bones.”

Gideon, I FUCKING MISSED YOU!!!!!

This better not be too short-lived, I really need more of Lyctor!Cav!Gideon in my life.

“You’re certain that Mercy tried to kill Harrow?” she said, after a moment. “Yeah.” “But that doesn’t— Why would she—?” “Do not fucking ask me for information. I could not be more lost right now.”

Oh Gideon. You've always been so adorably clueless. Have I mentioned that I've fucking missed you???

"Why did you ascend to be a Lyctor?” “Ultimate power—and posters of my face.” Fair.

Hahahahaha. Oh Ianthe.

But he had stopped dead, and he was looking at us. At your face. He looked at my eyes in your face in the same way the other Lyctor had, and any colour in his own drained straight away. [...] Augustine looked at us like we were the last thing he’d ever see. “John,” he breathed. And: “Joy.” And then—he fucking legged it.

What's got Augustine so goddamn scared? Hello???

At this point I'm halfway wondering if there's anyone who isn't plotting something against someone here. Gideon seems to be foiling a lot of plans here today.

“Hurry up. I have a letter for you,” said Ianthe. Harrow, it was in your handwriting. She handed me a fat, bulging envelope with your handwriting, and it said To be given to Gideon Nav, and I felt—strange. Time softened as I held it, and I didn’t even care about the barely repressed mirthful scorn on the other girl’s face.

Oh, this is one of the letters that Harrow couldn't know about!!! What does it say what does it say???

The letter was wrapped around a black, folded-up bunch of angles: smoked glass, thin black frames, mirrored lenses. A little bend in one arm, but otherwise—you’d kept my sunglasses. [...] ONE FLESH, ONE END.

Oh yay the sunglasses!!

And oh damn you past Harrow, you couldn't have written literally anything more enlightening??? Fuck!!!

Fuck one flesh, one end, Harrow. I already gave my flesh to you, and I already gave you my end. I gave you my sword. I gave you myself. I did it while knowing I’d do it all again, without hesitation, because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me. Which is, coincidentally, what your mother said to me last night.

I fucking missed you Gideon Nav!!!!!

And also, well, I'm glad we agree on Fuck One Flesh, One End.

She can’t love you. She can’t even try.” She said, way too carefully: “Oh, please, as though—” but I cut her off. “Don’t start the I was toying with her, mwah ha ha noise, because I won’t believe it. Your plan backfired, Tridentarius. You’ve got the sickness. I know the signs of Nonagesimitis. You were all lined up for a big hot injection of Vitamin H.” Ianthe scrubbed at her forehead briefly with her bone hand. “Really a corpse?” she said, with not totally believable carelessness.

Oh my god Ianthe. Oh my god Gideon. You're out here at the end of the world, and you're bonding over how you're both kinda in love with a girl who can never love you back. Oh my fucking god.

I died knowing you’d hate me for dying; but Nonagesimus, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I’d had your full attention.

I'm going to fucking cry.

now we are going to get out of my bedroom, and I am going to take you to Teacher.” The Emperor of the Nine Houses. The Necrolord Prime. I said, “No, thanks. I’m good.” “He needs to know. He can help you.” “I might lie down and see if this fixes itself,” I suggested. “Do you want Harrowhark to reclaim rightful ownership of her body, or not?” she asked reasonably.

Way too fucking reasonable. God can't help with this!!! You're taking Harrow's body to God so THE SLEEPER can take control of Harrow's body, and kill God.

That's probably, definitely what's happening here, and I really fucking hate it.

#harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth liveblog #htn liveblog #tlt liveblog #htn spoilers #tlt spoilers #the locked tomb

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pancake-breakfast · 1 year

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Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for Trigun Vol. 1, Chapters 7-8 below. (More detailed thoughts will be their own posts.)

Chapter 7: Rem

Who counts speed in decimal points of MPH?!

I'm laughing so hard over the ominous kyuru-kyuru-kyuru of the squeaking wheel.

IT WAS JUST A DISTRACTION!!!

Dang, that's so many communication tubes...

LOL, I can't believe Vash took the time to make a sign and stick it to one of the mook's backs.

"That blond twit" is probably one of the nicer things people have called Vash, TBF. I don't think that title would bother him much.

Heheheheheh, Vash just... randomly having high-tech lost technology tiny radio gadgets on him. Because of course he does.

This is true. Also, he probably doesn't want to. He should probably just explain by smiling and saying, "I'm Vash the Stampede!" That would probably be enough.

Aw, man. Things are already not going their way.

I love, love how strongly Vash reacts to realizing he accidentally injured someone badly. It hurts to see, but it tells us so much about his character.

Current favorite Vash Serious Pose:

Oh, child. Vash knows EXACTLY what he's doing and what the risks are.

Vash is telling Katie to remember Rem's name, but without context, it's just gonna be confusing for the kid.

I appreciate the little detail that, now that the injured peon is being treated for his wound, we see his face. Now he's no longer a faceless peon. Now he's a person.

I've seen other people say it, but I'm gonna say it, too. Vash is absolutely not underestimating people.

I love how Vash's face is covered in this panel. I love how it obscures our perception of how he's reacting to this. I love how hard this hits when you know his history.

"Your ticket to the future is always blank."

Yeah, Shinypants McGee gets it. He recognizes skill when he sees it.

Poor Vash has been running around too much with all this. He needs a nap and some juice. And... uh... medical treatment.

That... is the exact opposite of "the only clear room."

And yet, Vash's first concern is making sure Katie is safe.

Chapter 8: Duelists

Aww, colored Milly and Meryl!

And here the ship's captain is like, "Yep, I'm now putting all my hopes into the hands of some rando I haven't even met because he may or may not be giving Shinypants McGee trouble."

Someone's been dodging bullets again, I see...

Current favorite Vash Annoyed Pose:

Dear lord, this crotch shot. It's upsetting. Suffer with me (and the kid) as I post a picture of it.

Pfft. I'm pretty sure only a couple chapters back Vash was talking about how people's hearts in this world were so dry it made him wonder why folks go on living. I think he knows that reality isn't exactly pretty.

DERRINGER MERYL!!! DERRINGER MERYL!!!

LOL, Milly just inventing a cool name for herself on the spot.

Overlook today's events?? Why is she blaming Vash for today's events?! He's been doing his darndest to STOP today's events, and he certainly didn't put them in motion!

Hahahaha, seems like the peons didn't realize they were up against Mr. The Stampede.

Dang, Vash cutting right to the point there. He just straight-up deduces Shinypants McGee lost family in July. Shinypants denies it, but methinks this good sir doth protest too much.

Alas, no answers for anyone here.

Despite everything this guy's done, Vash trusts he'll honor the bargain of the duel and agrees to it.

I love that Meryl and Milly are still running around in their peon suits.

DRAMATIC COIN TOSS

Really, all Shinypants has to do is drag this out. He doesn't have to win. If he takes too long, the ship is lost regardless. But if he takes too too long, he'll go down with it.

This guy opens fire wildly, but Vash... he only shot a single bullet, yeah?

Oh, babygirl. Where's your band-aid??

Sure, he's honoring his bargain, but the situation just went from bad to worse.

#this is a terrible place to leave off but it's all i have time for tonight #trigunbookclub #trigun manga #volume 1 #pancake analysis

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rsmrymnt-tea · 2 years

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「 🐳 」 oh, keeping an oc 100% in-character definitely includes them dealing with a dichotomy of values or behaviors—to govern yourself perfectly without error sounds more like a tyranny against yourself rather than having free-will.

i feel like, if your mc truly does have a presence in the story you're creating, then the behaviors and actions of the rest of the obm cast will change compared to how the game canon may present them throughout the years. once you capture the identity of the character, you can logically piece the puzzle together for how they will change upon meeting and interacting with your character methinks.

and you took the words right out of mouth! there's so many aspects of just one topic that i excitedly present, which leads to more topics, concepts, and ideas that i can bounce off of with another person.

ahh! i believe there was something lost in translation, because what i meant was, “how can i present so much information that i want to speak about in a sensical manner”? this is a common occurrence, and the conclusion i allow myself to fall onto is simply, “i'll cleverly curate [this] specific set of information on a silver platter and present my other ideas in future asks, because everything i wish to say is too much for someone to comprehend in one go”!

so it isn't a matter of me wishing to show you everything within one or two asks—it simply isn't in my nature! i would rather have a plethora of things to discuss than to cut my time short with someone like you! the reason why i mentioned i'm notorious (and endearing to some) for being able to talk on and off over the course of a couple hours when i find the time is because i care enough to try my best to understand what the other person is talking about. it's why i sent in an ask asking for how you view sloth! i don't like to assume things of others, and i don't want them to leave without a clearer perspective of what i see, either! if they choose to listen, of course.

i remember that you mentioned something along the lines of admiring my ideas, but i also want to point out that i've stuck around your blog for a couple of months prior to interacting /w\ so i've gathered and processed your ideas and lore beforehand, although haven't entirely understood what everything meant; it took me a while! similar to you, i don't catch onto things quickly like one would expect, but i do my best to understand ^^

and it's the characters who just try to simply be that i really love to see in stories. it's the one thing everything does--to exist effortlessly the best they can. my own mc, while she does have a set goal in mind, sees it as a transitional step in her life towards something more simplistic and whole. sneak peak to an excerpt for a future response:

she will tell you that she is someone intense, with a taste for sating her curiosity not of other people generally, but of how she can see herself grow like everything else around her. someone melancholic, and does not reject this melancholy, but chooses to wait and listen to what it has to say. she will tell you that she needs to see this growth in herself, or else she won't be satisfied.

godtongue paints an image of her desires and dreams, but she heeds warnings—she does not revolve her life towards seeking stars that will eventually only lead to short-term gratification, and in the chase, lose her sense of depth and introspection that will only lead to a consistent awareness of the numbing emptiness that plagues much of humanity.

reaching for the utmost satisfaction is futile, she knows, but she cares not for what direction she grows in. as long as it is something she will eventually be able to grasp within the gentle brush of her fingertips, she will be content, even if it's something she would've once rejected in her youth.

i don't think that dolasach's reason for picking her name is strange at all! i've also gone through a series of names for my mc (her canonical pseudonym, one name being “amalthea” in her older drafts, another being “sirusho simonian” which belongs to her spiritual ancestor, and not actually her). i think that having numerous names, for an immortal human, is kind of needed if you are to continue to interact with a mortal society? just so you wouldn't get suspected for identity theft since you've lived over a century and the like.

speaking of solomon, his own voice being the source of belittlement reminds me of how he's leviathan's favorite brother (i'm assuming this due to the outfit switching event, where he wore satan's clothes). leviathan is more known for his self-degradation, whereas satan struggles with finding self-worth due to being in the presence of someone who has aided in it's devolvement in the past. i've found that no matter how much you've improved or how much it may goes against your general values, your mind tends to regress in the presence of someone that has hurt you time and time again. i think that satan has been gradually getting better with that aspect (acceptance), though.

do you think that satan & solomon would potentially represent two sides of the eras she's lived as 'dolasach'? i'm not sure if that made sense, or if i know how to elaborate, but there's something about satan being on her level of perspectives and feeling a sense of belonging as a result, and solomon allowing her to see new ones beyond her comprehension.

i think i'll send you one of my short pieces about two immortals in another ask, since you reminded me ^^

Big agree on having the MC's actions differing from canon having a ripple effect! Tbh that's what's causing so much headache with writing out Dola's canon... because she's just so different from the canon MC that there's just so much to consider. And I've got my own takes on the characters as well (like Mammon not stealing from MC being something born out of them being nice to him, which Dola is not upon first meeting) which makes it all like... head in hands lmao >.>

And I don't really have full confidence that I've got like... In-character takes of the canon characters? Like, I know what I said about them contradicting themselves being something natural, and also that I have my own takes on them that don't quite line up with the most popular perception of them (like Mammon never stealing from MC at all), but still. As much as I dislike the actual canon story, I'd still like for characters to be themselves somewhat. Or themselves and a little more interesting sdnfkjgh Lord knows I want Beel to be more consistently more than just his hunger and for Satan to remain not nearly as cat-obsessed... And for Simeon to maintain his complexity once we get to that point in Dola's canon.

Also dsgkjdfg goes to show that I really will misunderstand things dfgfd But maybe all the more that it's good that we both have trouble with keeping conversations short? >.< Because we'll have no problems clarifying and asking each other questions because yeah... I just tend to understand things incorrectly and will sometimes just struggle to grasp certain concepts. I've no problem with being told I'm wrong and am also very open to answering questions so! We've got that going for us sdhkdfg

It's still so unbelievable to me that you are still here btw, you and bee nonnie >.> Lurking and just finding my ideas nice enough to stick around and send long asks about... While also seeing my mess??? sdhfkgdfjgh Tbh even with my ideas I'm a little... Hmm... because while I'm in fully support of going buck wild and just doing whatever you want with canon, I still get my bouts of wondering if what I'm doing to the timeline is cringe and my ideas are lame dkjgfg + Some of my favorite ideas come from other people, honestly. Bee nonnie for sure has their contributions to Dola's canon >.< And the TSL AU I keep wanting to work on aaaaa

Also now I see the very clear similarities between Godtongue and Dola. The curiosity and passion for growth and exploration stand out to me, for sure. Godtongue and Dola seem to share a similar intensity and melancholy to them, from the sound of it, but where Godtongue apparently allows it to come and help her work through what must be addressed (for I think in many times, sadness has a reason for visiting), I think the melancholy festers within Dola, and she knows why. And so she opts to find ways to shoo it away, sometimes run from it as hard as she can until she inevitably slows down enough for it to catch up. And when it hits her, it hits hard.

I think, unlike Godtongue, Dola already deals with the numbing emptiness because it's just there, almost inherent to her person, and has for a long time and will continue to deal with it. Perhaps part of her refusal to fall into sloth comes from already dealing with the emptiness that it brings, and the urge to fill the void with literally anything while trying her best to maintain her integrity and dignity. Godtongue seems to have found what seems to be a healthier way to deal with the experiences that life throws at her? Or at least has a better approach to living that Dola does, because Dola's upbringing of having to always have something to reach for, a perfection to seek, ends up staying with her for so long despite everyone's efforts to help her unlearn it.

In a way it counters her desperation to remain out of Sloth's reach. Her approach is flawed and so it has her stay within her comfort zone of reaching for the unreachable, even if along the way she tries to set concrete milestones that are proof of her growth. It's unhealthy and damaging, and for sure has brought rough patches to her relationships—for a long time, I'm sure that there have been periods where one or both her partners have begun to feel neglected as she overimmerses herself in trying to reach a new goal, and sometimes Solomon has to shake some sense into her when she strays too close to the sun in a way that seems scarily similar to how he has, or how he's lost a few old friends.

Like? In comparison to Solomon I think Dola's very corruptible dhjkfdg As smart as she is I think she's extremely prone to giving in to Wrath, Lust, and Envy because her emotions overtake her too easily even for her own liking.

Anyway sorry sorry, ended up rambling a bit just from train of thought—

I must say, Godtongue's had an interesting array of names? Amalthea sounds so nice, and Sirusho... I just would not expect it? And now that you mention it, yeah. it wouldn't surprise me if Dola and Solomon had to have their own various names over the years, but I hate to think of the exact logistics of it because it must be so much trouble... Though I like to think they have their fair share of workarounds. Like I've always thought that after a while, Solomon's just opted to have his home hidden in a forest somewhere, enchanted to look abandoned or with magical wards that prevent people from even perceiving it when they do. And with Dola, idek, I'm pretty sure that in her version of the earth, her and her family are all in art history books so there's records of her actual face. Perhaps there are rumors of her still being alive? A time traveler? People saw her pact marks and thought perhaps she's sold her soul to demons for immortality (which has become an in-joke among sorcerers who know the truth probably lmao)

And re: what you said about Satan, highly agree! Tbh it's why I like to think he eventually moves in with Dolasach at some point in the human world, with a system set so that he can still easily attend his duties in the Devildom. Personally, and this is probably me projecting onto him again, I think he'd benefit a great deal from having some extended time away from his brothers—especially away from Lucifer. Everyone I know with difficult relationships with their family ended up benefitting plenty from having lives that are much more separate from them, and I think the same would go for Satan who has probably never lived a life where Lucifer wasn't a major presence? I imagine that the other brothers had lives before Lucifer, and their duties as angels kept them busy away from him; like the idea of Lucifer raising them all is cute, but I find I really enjoy the idea of them just finding each other when they're a bit older, with only the twins (+ Lilith?) having known each other since they were infant angels, hence the intense closeness. There's just nothing about how their lives were like as angels (that I recall) that gives me the impression that Lucifer raised them? Just more like... Guided them to reach their full potential when no one believed in them.

So. Yeah! I really do think Satan having some time to do a bit of soul-searching away from his brothers would really help with his set of issues. Plus there's that saying of distance making the heart grow fonder...

Ouuughghg tbh the idea of Sol and Satan representing two eras of Dola's life has been something I've been thinking about ever since I started the polycule... In my head, yeah, Satan's more of the healing and sense of belonging, while Solomon's the growth and new horizons? In a way it's like Sol's the adventure while Satan is the domesticity, but it can easily be the other way around because Satan too is always searching for new things to learn and explore, and I'm sure Solomon greatly enjoys having someone to come home to and be a malewife for, even more so when she's willing to eat his meals after a long series of cooking lessons >w< Which I think works itself out well for their relationship? Because if Solomon were nothing but adventure, it would wear Dola out; and likewise, if Satan were to grow too content, Dola would feel that looming sense of discontent growing stronger over time...

sdyfsdfjg anyway I think I like... babbled on even more than usual in this ask >.<

#chat & colloquy #🐳 nonnie!!#dolasach #yknow i think from impressions so far #godtongue has it going considerably better than dola #like godtongue really seems like a free spirit thats learned the lessons shes supposed to learn throughout life?#for some reason part of the formative ideas i had when creating dola is 'life is a burden; how does one make it less so?'#perhaps listen to no choir by florence and the machine; it's a song that i heavily associate with dolasach esp the lines #'but the loneliness never left me/i always took it with me/but i can put it down in the pleasure of your company'#i just feel like misery tends to follow dola. i think it's the weird unintentional exchange ive made for the excessive power that #i want to give her sdhgfkdg

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onstoryladders · 2 years

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If Gram is in love with Black and just wants to try something with Eugene because he has lost hope in Black, I'd be very disappointed. Because I think that makes Gram someone who doesn't care about emotions. If Black and Gram's feelings are mutual, I feel sorry for Black the most. Imagine you are in a coma and your twin brother takes your place, but your loved one never noticed. On top of that, he wants to be with your ex-girlfriend. While I really wanted Gram and Black to be together, I'm disappointed with Gram's current attitude. So I would love to see Black with someone else if GramBlack isn't going to happen. What would Black be like when he's in love?

Hi, anon! Oof, alright – this is something I really wanted to talk about, so thank you for giving me the chance to do so. I've seen so much Gram slander and it breaks my heart 🥺 and I'm not saying it's totally unwarranted, but like-- he's not an evil bastard, y'know? Unless next episode confirms my worst fears and ruins everything lol

First of all, about Gram not noticing: I think we watched two different shows, anon 😆 Gram noticed it all too well. Just like Sean got closer to “Black” because he's attracted to this new version of him, Gram found himself getting frustrated and confused. If he'd known about a twin, I'm sure he would've connected the dots in a second.

The whole situation is just too crazy, no one would ever think oh, my best friend must have a secret twin who replaced him in the gang, it's such a crazy theory.

And also: I think people forget that while Black was in a coma, White was messing with his life and relationships like there was no tomorrow. He called up his ex girlfriend and then rejected her, got distant from his friends and closer to Sean... and of course Gram thought Black had simply changed, and didn't understand why.

From Gram's point of view, Black is the traitor.

Imagine your best friend suddenly taking their distance. They don't hang out with you but with someone they've never liked. They stop telling you shit. They start acting like an asshole to your common friend. They don't give you explanations when you try to talk about it. Wouldn't you feel confused and betrayed? Because I would 🥲

I don't think Gram is someone who doesn't care about other people's feelings. He's shown time and time again that he does care. He puts his own emotions aside when he asks Black to get back with Eugene, and all he gets is total indifference, a coldness he had probably never been met with.

As for Gram and Eugene, he didn't make a move on her until Black stated he didn't care anymore (if we don't consider the kiss, but they were both drunk and sad, and people fuck up sometimes) and I still don't think it was because he liked her.

This doesn't mean that he's pursuing her just to get over his feelings for Black. I don't think the situation is this simple, this-- shallow. But of course I can't say much about this before we actually get to see what's going on – although I did talk a little about my theories here.

Anyway, if Gram/Black isn't endgame Black won't get together with anyone, methinks. The only other option would be Eugene but they broke up and it wouldn't make sense if they undid that.

As for you last question, you have no idea how curious I am about it 😭 I need to know!

#not me the series #gramblack #mond tanutchai #not me gram #gram

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alittlealien007 · 4 years

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youtube

This is a, uhh, rant from a person who cannot sleep because not everyone is blessed with the ability to sleep when needed.

I can't sleep. It's not like I can sleep normally. Obviously, I can't. That's the kind of fun (read: insomniac and depressed and medicated) life I live. Anyway, I'm having a serious post series withdrawal after watching Touch Your Heart which is adding to my I-can't-sleep thoughts. While thinking about Lee Dong Wook's character, Kwon Jung Rok, and how much I'm probably in love with him because I really fall hard for fictional characters (hello, Gabriel from LJ Smith's Dark Visions; I love him so freaking much, I told the books' story, point-by-point, from memory to my cousins after reading them once; I have an okay to good memory, but did I burn every scene of those books in my memories, and I haven't forgotten Gabriel since - a character from my own unfinished novel series is actually roughly based on him. Heh.), I was reminded of my other fictional Kdrama crush that made me crush hard on the actor as well. (This is related-ish because I think I'm having a crush on LDW even though I never really had a crush on him before. I know he's handsome and all, and I did ship him a lot with Park Bom when Roommate was airing, but that was pretty much it.)

Drum roll please - it's Kim Nam Gil's Bidam from The Great Queen Seon Deok. I had a huge crush on KNG, that I was literally in tears after watching his very questionable (read: salacious) movies prior this Kdrama because 10 years ago, I was just a pure child who wants my crush to be pure as well (we can all laugh now). And was in more tears, I'm practically drowning, when he announced his military enlistment. I even swore I'll wait for him to be discharged.

And I did wait... for a year at least. After that my fangirl heart decided to move on because hello I'm a fangirl through and through, and I'm also easily distracted. While I do fall hard for characters I like, it sometimes hurt bad whenever I realize the actuality that they don't exist irl which means I can't even really root for them and watch them from afar (this reality was another inspiration for writing another unfinished novel. Gahd, I'm good at plots and starting weird stories but really bad at finishing them, huh.), I really like the part where I can move on pretty easily or relatively easy. I mean, I did have a huge continuous crush on KNG for about 2 years (and while I do have an impressive (it is impressive, methinks) more-than-a-decade crush on Kim Jaejoong and more-than-two decades-practically-my-whole-life crush to very serious admiration and adoration for Jackie Chan, I will be honest and say those emotions were not continous because hello we live in a world of entertainment and general sadness so we're kinda forced to choose between facing or escaping our realities in order to deal. As an escapist at heart, I chose escapism so I end up liking a lot of things. It's not a good choice, but it lets me survive.), and I think that's a feat. Anyway, this also reminded me of a promise I made that when I find out KNG is getting married, I will drink a bucket of beer even though I don't drink beer to lament his getting hitched and celebrate it as well. And from that I made the same promise for Jaejoong's own marriage (yes, it's not a good thing to promise, but let us all be weird in our own ways without harming anyone).

After being reminded of my past feelings, I went to YT to search for this specific Seon Deok x Bidam video that I used to watch about ten years ago, and apparently it can still make me cry so bad I started wishing there's an alternate universe where those characters had a happy ending. It turns out even though I've moved on from my KNG crush, I still have not move on from my Bidam crush. Again, world, why isn't Bidam real? Asking for a friend.

P.P.P.S. I just thought of something. Did I really cry again because of Bidam or was it tears for the past me that I lost? On the other hand, my past memories reminded me that even then, I was already looking for "me" so I didn't lose me after that; I lost me way way way back. When? I have zero idea.

P.S. I write weird shit when at the brink of getting sleepy.

P.P.S. I met Anggun because of the background song "Want you to want me" which makes this video more memorable.

P.P.P.P.S. I should sleep. I'm getting more nuts by the second.

#Rant #Post Series Depression #Post Series Withdrawal

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