#so just a disclaimer: i do not support any of the terrible stuff that brendon urie guy has done

[iwriteficsnottragediesladies]

Search and Seizure Pt 4

Request: un-surpassable: Need. more. search. and. seizure . Ahahahhhh Request: kyky9103: Can you do more anxiety attack and seizure posts

Lots of people were asking for another part. Ask and you shall receive! There are two-ish scavenger hunt items. See if you can find them!

Pre-read Epilepsy Disclaimer

The video of your seizure in the grocery store ended up everywhere. Gossip sites, entertainment sites, youtube, facebook, instagram, twitter… It was awful. You cried. and cried. For days. Brendon and the boys were right at your side through it all.

You were just so terribly embarrassed and felt violated. Everyone in the world has seen you at your most vulnerable without your consent.

Some people were really nice. A lot of the fans and TV hosts were genuinely sympathetic and concerned. They all wished you well.

But some people were not nice at all. They made fun of you and left the most disheartening and offensive comments.

Honestly had no idea she could break dance like that.

That awkward moment when you realize your girlfriend is possessed...

Ew all that stuff coming out of her mouth. Looks like Brendon’s got himself a spitter, not a swallower!

Can she die from one of these so we can have Brendon back?

Brendon wanted to make all your hurting stop, but he couldn’t. He was absolutely furious with the way people were talking about you, especially people who claimed to be his fans. After finding you in a puddle one night, horrible comments from a fan website in your hand, he took to twitter.

It disgusts me the shit “fans” will say about the people I love most. If you’re one of them, just know I think you’re shit. Get fucked.

Perhaps the worst part was people concocting theories about your “rock star lifestyle” and how you must have overdosed on drugs. People were writing entire pieces about your struggle with addiction–addictions that didn’t even exist. “Crack whore” was the nickname for you, and it flew around the internet.

Finally, you want to put it all to rest. You are going to address it. Own it. You write up a message in your notes and post a screenshot of it on instagram.

To all of you who have been wishing me well: thank you SO much! I loved all the sweet messages you have been sending Brendon and I. I’m doing just fine now. To everyone who has tried to put me down, make fun of me, and talk shit about me: you need to take a serious look at yourself and your behavior. Have some compassion. I have epilepsy, which is a seizure disorder. Although it’s well controlled, I still have seizures from time to time. I never really liked to talk about it because I didn’t want people to treat me differently. But now, things have changed for me and that’s why I think I owe it to myself and all of my fellow epilepsy-warriors to speak up. I have epilepsy, but epilepsy does not have me.

Sending lots of love out to all of you, Y/n

You were too nervous to read the comments, so you had Brendon do it. He started reading all them aloud and it was incredible.

They talked about how happy they were that you were okay, that you were so strong, that you are perfect just the way you are, that they don’t see you any differently… The best was how many people felt comfortable sharing their own struggles with epilepsy, a lot of them crediting you for giving them the courage to do so.

You made the absolute best of the situation you were put in. You finally felt free.

In another exciting turn of events, you and Brendon got engaged last month. You both knew you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together since the moment you met, so it was all coming true. You couldn’t be happier.

It was back to touring and you were backstage at a show. You knew you were tired and you were looking forward to calling it a night. You decided you might go back to the bus early, before the show ends. You were enjoying the thought of getting comfortable in your pjs–

Uh oh.

It hit you hard and very suddenly, interrupting your train of thought entirely: your arm was gone and your stomach flipped.

No, fuck, not during a show.

You stood for a moment, wishing it away with all your might. The heat around you became oppressive. Everything was only intensifying. You looked out onto the stage, seeing Brendon singing and running around as usual with his special performance glow. You smiled for a moment.

You come up with a plan: you’ll just grab Zack and go further backstage, out of view. You won’t interrupt the show and you can just tell Brendon after. You’re sure he’ll be furious that you didn’t tell him sooner, but you weren’t about to ruin the concert for everyone.

You dropped out of your thoughts as your body was screaming to get your attention, realizing how badly you were feeling. You spot Zack and start to make a beeline over to him. Your purposeful steps suddenly became weaker but you were determined to make it. You’re a little less coordinated as you reach him, stepping closer to him than you really meant to. His expression drops as he looks to you.

“Zeyh–” you slur as you attempt to reach out to him.

“Oh, okay,” He is instantly grabbing underneath your forearms, firmly supporting you. It’s fairly dark and hard to hear each other over the music, but you don’t really need to say much of anything. Zack didn’t need any more information to figure everything out. He has developed a sixth sense kind of thing about it now, actually. 

“Don’t feel–” you try.

“You don’t feel good?” he finished the statement for you. You nod and your lip trembles. “I know honey,” Zack comforted you, “It’s okay.”

You fall into his chest a bit and he adjusts his grip.

“I gotcha Y/n,” he reassures you quickly, speaking gently into your ear, “let’s lay down.” You’re so petite compared to him, he easily begins to move you to the floor.

The crew members nearby start to gather around the situation.

Brendon happened to be jogging his way towards your end of the stage. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices the unusual events unfolding offstage. He did a double take and saw you clinging to Zack as he was helping you to the ground.

He felt his stomach drop to the floor.

“Oh fuck,” he said under his breath, frozen for a moment. The next thing he knew, he was sprinting off stage to you as fast as his legs could carry him. He pushed a couple of stage hands out of the way and slid on his knees, arriving next to you. He shrugged off his jacket and Zack put it under your head.

You suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder and find Brendon above you, pulling his earpiece out.

“It’s okay baby,” he panted, “I’m right here.”

His voice was the last thing you heard. You started to seize and Brendon looked over at Zack, who had his phone out with the timer starting. Zack nods at him silently, and Brendon returns it, so grateful that Zack takes such good care of you.

Meanwhile, the band was left hanging. The crowd was also puzzled, disappointed by the sudden end of the song.

When the boys realized Brendon had ran, each of them kind of dropped off, confused. They looked after where he had gone and saw you on the floor, Brendon and Zack at your side. They were heartbroken and exchanged looks, wondering what to do. After a second, Dallon decided to speak up.

“Alright guys, sorry,” He said into his mic, “We’re gonna give Brendon some time to, uh, help out his beautiful fiancé here, having a little trouble.” He kept it nonchalant, not exactly sure of what to say anyway.

The entire audience could guess what was happening and they all awed, feeling terrible for you. No doubt that every single person in the arena had seen the video of you in the grocery store.

“Oh no, she must be having a seizure!” “Poor thing!” “Oh Brendon is so sweet!”

The boys kind of just talked with the audience, joking around, playing a riff from time to time to stall. They wanted it to be quiet for you.

Brendon was brushing your hair from your face when you start to bleed a little. He and Zack both notice you’ve moved onto your back, not completely on your side anymore.

“Yeah, let’s–” Brendon directed Zack, not really needing to use words because he was thinking the same exact thing. Zack rolls you further onto your side while Brendon helps you along. The rest of the blood was able to drain out.

“There we go,” He sighed, wiping it away. He stroked your cheek gently. “it’s okay baby. You’re okay.”

Some of the stagehands started asking questions. Brendon was completely focused on you, so Zack took over answering, informing them of the situation. Brendon continued whispering to you and you started to come down.

“Shhh, good job baby,” He said quietly, wiping your mouth one last time. “Zack?” He called his attention.

Zack looked at him and then glanced down at his phone. “1:41,” He replied. “Alright, all you guys have to back off please.” Zack commanded the crew around you, waving them away. He didn’t want you to be any more scared than you already would be, waking up in a strange place.

“Wasn’t too bad,” Brendon consulted with Zack.

“Nope,” he agreed, “Normal length.”

“God,” Brendon sighed, “Did she seem different to you? I didn’t see this one coming at all.”

“No, she’s been fine all day,” Zack shrugged, “Maybe she forgot her medication.”

They give you another minute and you start to come to. They moved away.

You open your eyes and it’s dark. Why can’t you see? You moved your eyes up and realize you’d been looking at the black floor you are laying on. You see a hand right next to your face and stare at it intently. Suddenly you realize it’s your own hand, and try to move it. It took you a second but finally you were able to slide it a little. It still felt so foreign as it sat front of you.

You are drawn away from your hand as your disorientation tugged at you. Fear sat deep in your stomach. You know you’re laying on the ground, but where and why? You slide your hand against the floor again, wanting to put in a position that you could push yourself up from, but it was no use. You were far too week.

A wall of fuzzy sound hit your ears. You looked beyond your hand and saw boots. Black boots. Those do not belong to you. Oh my god, it’s a person, right in front of you.

“Y/n, you’re okay,” Brendon begins to speak quietly.

You start to panic and your fight or flight reflex kicked in. You rustle on the floor and try to get away from the figure in front of you, but the most you can manage to do is withdraw.

“It’s okay, baby,” Brendon continues, “You had a seizure but you’re okay now. it’s just me and Zack.”

You don’t really seem to be responding to him like you normally would by now. He’s not sure if you aren’t showing it, or if you truly can’t hear him.

Truth is, you haven’t heard a single thing. The figure comes closer to you and you try to hit it away, punching and whimpering.

“Baby, it’s alright,” Brendon called to you, blocking your weak hands as you tried to throw them through the air, “Shhh, it’s okay.”

Sound becomes clear to you and all you can hear is yourself. You hold your breath as you continue to struggle, wondering if you could hear something that would help you figure what was going on.

“Y/n, it’s okay,” Brendon tried again.

You hear it. That voice. Brendon. You still yourself.

“It’s Brendon, Y/n,” Brendon tells you, “You’re okay.”

You looked at him, taking in his features and trying to put it all together.

“Bren?” You questioned quietly. He lit up a bit and nodded.

“It’s me, baby,” He reassured you, “You’re safe.”

You respond by relaxing your hands back down to the floor.

“You had a little seizure, so I know you’re confused,” He explained sweetly, “but you’re alright. It’s me, and your BFF Zack is right there behind you, alright?” he said with a little smirk. A smile pulled at the corner of your lips.

You start to push yourself onto your elbow and ponder your surroundings. Zack and Brendon both hover their hands over you in case you start to fall.

“We’re at the venue in Ohio for a show,” He said.

You glance around and realize there’s stage crew around you. You looked at him and saw that he was soaked with sweat and in his stage outfit. Beyond him, you saw the boys onstage and one of their voices speaking casually on a microphone. Your eyes grew wide.

“OH MY GOD!” You exclaimed, “YOU’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SHOW!” You were quickly pushing yourself up to sitting and fumble to properly put your weight into your hands. You don’t have the balance or the strength and fall over backward.

Apparently Zack would rather die than let you hit the ground, because suddenly he is holding you upright and rests your back against himself. You forgot he was back there, even though Brendon had just told you that. You’re not really sure the physics of how it all happened, but you are sure that Zack is a ninja. What a great BFF.

Oh wow, even your inner monologue is seizure drunk.

“Easy, Y/n,” Brendon holds your shoulder, “It’s okay.”

“Oh my god,” You shook your head, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You start to cry.

“No, no, no, Shhh,” Brendon immediately soothes, heartbroken to see you brought to tears like this. He takes your cheek in his hand, “It’s okay,” he tried with a sad chuckle, “Y/n. It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry,” you repeated through your tears. Zack was rubbing your upper arm and Brendon was wiping each tear as they fell.

“Y/n,” he said, tilting your head up to look you in the eye. “Baby, it’s okay. I needed a break anyway, alright?” He chuckled again, “It’s hot out there!”

You mustered up a small smile for him. At his comment, you notice he’s not wearing his gold jacket. You look down and see it wadded up on the floor.

“Oh no I got blood on it,” you said sadly with a pouted lip, observing a puddle that had formed and smudged around. You feel terrible, like you’ve truly ruined everything.

“You know what?” Brendon said in a clear, optimistic voice. You look to him. “Tomorrow we’re gonna wash that thing and make our own fucking oxi-clean commercial, alright?” He joked, grinning widely. He makes you giggle. “It’s just clothes, baby,” He reminds you softly. You nod with a little smile.

You wait for a moment before breaking the silence.

“Go,” you say to him.

“What?” he asks.

“Go!” you repeat, “I’m fine here, go back on stage. You have a show to finish!”

He looked at you from beneath his eyebrows, annoyed.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” He scoffed, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Why?” You huff, pouting your lip in an exaggerated fashion. Oh boy, here’s the seizure drunk coming through.

“Because my fiancé just had a seizure!” Brendon responded, “I’m not finishing the show!”

“Seize seizin’ is a habit” You sing like David Banner’s ‘Stuntin is a habit’ with your best gangster style.

“Oh my god,” he covers his eyes in embarrassment.

“I’m fine now Bren, there’s nothing left to be done,“ you try, “Your fans deserve this!”

“You are my top priority,” He responded.

“Look, I have my BFF Zacky-poo,” You reached up and sloppily patted Zack’s cheek, “And you can go finish your show.”

“Y/n, I’m not–” He started.

“Brendon Boyd Urie,” You cut him off harshly, “If you do not get back on that stage right now, you are not touching my body for a month.”

The look on Brendon’s face is hilarious. He can’t believe you just said that.

“Yeah, that’s right,” You clicked your tongue. He evened his facial expression.

“You’re just seizure drunk,” He dismissed. You lean forward a little.

“Baby,” You coldly whisper in his ear, “I don’t lie when I’m seizure drunk.”

You lean away. Now he looks even more flustered. Poor Zack probably felt awkward as all fuck, but oh well, this was far too entertaining.

“Hm, better get back out there,” You said lightly with an innocent smile.

Brendon gives you a death stare for a moment and you just hold your smile. He looks to Zack.

“You sure you got her?” Brendon asks him, his voice flat and annoyed.

HA. YOU’VE CRACKED HIM.

“Course, man,” Zack nodded dutifully.

“You’ll bring her back to the bus?” Brendon checks. Zack nods again.

Brendon pauses for a second and sighed, aggravated that you’ve won the battle. You’ve always been a fighter.

“Okay,” he surrenders. He kisses your forehead and pulls away enough to lock eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Bren,” You reply.

He takes off and as soon as he is back on stage, the crowd erupts with noise. Zack is working on getting you up and sitting in a chair for a little while before you actually trek back to the bus. You hear Brendon address the audience.

“We’re all good, guys,” he told them as they cheered, and then waited for them to quiet down a bit.

“Not that I wouldn’t anyway, because I do love you guys, but, uh,” he chuckled under his breath, “my fiancé just threatened to withhold sex from me for a month if I didn’t come back out here.” The crowd roared with laughter and he literally giggled like a little girl,  “So you can thank Y/n for this one!”

You’re welcome. You smile and laugh to yourself. 

You have epilepsy, but epilepsy doesn’t have you. Life has to go on.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the read. Zack is the fucking best and I strongly believe he would turn into such a little softie like this. This series is pretty fun to write. Like/reblog if you’re feelin’ it!

ps. Lol who would actually have the willpower to withhold sex from Brendon?

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