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elegiesforshiva · 5 years

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This is a review for the amazing sasusaku fanfic Perpetual Winter by @thefangirlslair It’s a brilliant modern AU and I highly recommend it!!! You can read it on fanfiction.net or tumblr :)))) FF: c l i c kkkk Tumblr: Part I, Special Chapter, Part II And time for a criminally late and obscenely long review!!!

Pt I

Winter has never been his favorite season

Damn what an intro, I’m already getting angst vibes lmao. I really like how you set the scene and stage the world of this AU. I didn’t expect the existence of clans in this piece, with it being a modern AU, but this is such a fascinating twist on the setting to me. I loved how you described Naruto’s endurance as unnatural, “like there’s a demon living inside him” and Sasuke and his clan have inexplicable warmth….inexplicable do I dare say…fire ???? ;))))))

Lmao seriously what a great way to pay homage to canon though. I love these attributes!

Modern au Sasuke that reads poetry and drinks coffee is a brand of pretentiousness I can get behind

Aaaaaaa omg I really REALLY REALLY fucking love this intro! I love how you describe Sasuke as appreciating liveliness, and vibrance—which we can honestly assume is canon with how his two closest people are the embodiment of these traits. And I love how you tie it back into the seasons. This really gives so much life to that motif in this story, and the title. That was clever af

…he was taken back to the time where winter was just a mere season, Bon Iver was playing on their shared earphones, and Sakura was his.

WHAT THE FUCK YOU JUST FUCKING DESTROYED ME WHAT A WAY TO SEGWAY INTO THE NEXT SCENE OOOOF IM KSJDFHLJSAKFL

There are so many things I love about this following scene… you really know how to write a couple in casual, mutual love. The banter and candidness of their interaction just has me floored. I also REALLY love that this is from Sasuke’s perspective, and how even though he doesn’t have an overwhelming amount of dialogue, we’re in his head, and his appreciation and love for Sakura just radiates. Lines like these:

From her latest discovered band to a recent discovery in medicine by a genius dude whose name he doesn’t even remember, she shares it with him. Favorite anime character, favorite memory with him, favorite pair of underwear — he knows it all because she’s that open to him about things she love.

They’re just….so good. I can hear his voice, his ardor, and his impeccable understanding of Sakura’s personality while also expressiong his own. The choice of having the narrative skewed through his lens was def a good decision. And ugh this piece is just overwhelmingly amazing already

He doesn’t know the pain to be dealt with when you’ve broken up with someone because Sakura was his first girlfriend. And honestly, he doesn’t, couldn’t, even think about being apart from her. Just the thought of them breaking up already makes him panic a little. He always thought to himself, ‘I will never let that happen.’

Okay this paragraph……………this paragraph tho……..dropping this. KNOWING. They’re gonna break up……….HOW DARE U

Seriously, what powerful writing. I don’t know how you do it……

I think it’s incredibly interesting that you chose music to be the catalyst for this beautiful, climactic moment of closeness My best friend/partner and I have had convos before about it, and she and i once talked about how we think of sex with music lol. I don’t know how to entirely explain myself on that, or where I’m really going with this, but I get the same vibe here too. Music that’s close to you is like an artistic intimacy and there’s something very personal and vulnerable about it. Maybe it’s an auditory thing, like getting lost in one of those guided meditations. (idk if you’ve ever had one that actually worked, they don’t always for me, but when they do god damn, it’s unreal) Either way, I really loved the way this scene played out, it was highly relatable and highly emotional, and I feel serenity and ardor just reading it. Beautifully done.

I love the way you moved back to the present and we immediately feel the differences and the similarities. The fondness and affection is still there, if not a little more muted, and it’s so obvious they still have feelings for each other. But there’s definitely moments that speak to their separation too, with the little differences in Sakura that Sasuke notices, or instances like her no longer drinking coffee or him deciding to open the door.

I really like how you inserted the interaction with Kakashi too. One thing I’m quickly noticing about this fic and your writing is how you very stealthily relay information to us readers. It’s seamless and entertaining, and I’m learning about this world and the past in ways that are so attention grabbing I don’t even notice it.

Also Itachi’s death and the way you handled it from Sasuke’s pov is so reminiscent of canon and also so gut wrenching. The lines

How dare Itachi leave him alone? How dare Itachi sacrifice himself and die? How dare Itachi pass his responsibilities onto his shoulders…

especially gutted me because of how is stands in stark parallels to the Sasuke we know in canon. This really smacked my head around with feels….poor Sasuke

OMFG POOR SASUKE !!!?!?!??!?!??!? THAT ENDING OOOLOGDSLGFSLKDGHLSDHFLKDFHVSLKV WHAT A FUCKING CURVE BALL LMAO

I mean maybe I should have seen that coming because like of course!!! But also I’M LOSING M Y SHIT HAHAHAHAAA

I can’t wait to see how this unfolds!!!!!

Special Chapter

This is such a powerful scene to start with. Itachi’s entire character was such a major influence in canon and seeing the way his death is affecting everyone now is so emotional. I feel so bad for Sasuke, having to take on all the burdens Itachi had left behind for him.

Also these lines:

“Mikoto cried, “Don’t you think it’s too soon? I just buried my first-born just barely a week ago and now we’re discussing how you’re gonna ruin my youngest’s life just like you did with Itachi?!”

The way her voice cracked when she said his brother’s name broke his heart. She’s still grieving, probably forever, and here they are talking about Sasuke’s suicide.”

Literally killed me. Dead. Deceased. Fallen to the Void. It’s so brilliant and powerful, and speaks so deeply on their dysfunctional family dynamics and feelings with so few lines. Really loved this…

This next scene was so stark and sad and beautiful. I meant to comment and pull lines again, but I couldn't stop reading tbh. Sasuke's thoughts and emotions concerning Sakura are so vividly gentle and full of praise. There's such a soft worship in the way you write his feelings towards her and tbh it's my absolute and only interpretation of feelings I care for concerning the depiction of their relationship. Still, you do this with a certain cleverness and mastery. It's really so moving for me...

The dream sequence that follows is absolutely debilitating, but so well done. I got the sense it was a dream only a few lines in just from the bluntness of the lines. It was truly very dream-like lol. I really could feel the panic and guilt along all of his inner turmoil. It's incredibly horrific to have such a dream about murder just after Itachi's too. This was devastating.

I really loved the way Sakura calms him groom the panic/anxiety attack. I've actually had a similar experience once, where I woke up from a nightmare and I was very frightened and stiff and couldn't really articulate myself. I remember I had felt deep horror and self loathing and nothing else. (I still remember the nightmare too, it was horrible.) My best friend at the time just threw herself on the bed and held me.

It's so crazy how grounding touch can be. I really felt that with Sasuke and Sakura too. The comfort she offers him is so seamless to her character and so ardently palpable. The repetition of "I got you" really touched me especially. It breaks my heart knowing the inevitable end of their relationship to come.

Oooooohhhh daaamnnnnn

I did NOT see the raunchy sex coming lmfao!! Although in hindsight, I probably should have. You already told us how they tend to get down and dirty when emotions run high with the arguments and make-up sex. I imagine this is instigated by Sasuke often, with him struggling to articulate his need for Sakura verbally so he does so physically. And I imagine Sakura is just kinky enough to crave this sort of animal want.

I do love how sexual interactions are easily moving in tandem with their emotions, how it just feels like another mode of communication. Sasuke breaking down during it leaves me feeling so tender too. It's tragic

She smiled. Sasuke doesn't know if he wants that smile or not.

These exit lines are going to fucking kill me istg

The following events honestly hurts to read because Damn haven't we all been there... the fallout of a relationship to the point where you're just dragging it through the mud… it’s a true deterioration of soul and you capture that slow death so well. I really feel terrible for Sakura—Sasuke too—but it sucks for her to be in the dark like this.

I love the way you write Karin!!! Honestly, I think it really mirrors the way she's written in canon. She's cold and strategically loud and generally calculating and overall kind of apathetic. She doesn't really know the value of meaningful relationships (and therefore doesn't prioritize them) until much later on in the series. I definitely get this sense of her here too. She's a little cold, but not cruel, and she has the pragmatic values of her and Sasuke's union in mind as she agrees to it all. I really like how you made her personality come through here.

Meanwhile there’s him, sucking all the hard traits from their father. His competitive streak, arrogant way of speaking, harsh words — it’s all Fugaku. And suddenly, he feels so exhausted.

This line hit me so hard. I love this fic already for an endless number of reasons but a striking one is how well you interrogate the relationships between family. When you described Itachi’s death as Sasuke losing a part of him, I really felt that. And here when you write about the way Sasuke takes after Fugaku and hates it and is also exasperated from it, just like how his father likely is, it just runs bone deep. You really know how to speak to life experiences and relationships in consistently intimate ways. I love that about you

This is his reality now — no more dream, no more Itachi; and pretty soon, no more Sakura.

’It hurts,’ Sasuke thought. 'It hurts, aniki.’

Wow death by angst lmao thanks for the pain, maren, glad to know you like to torture your readers as much as our ninja babies. Srsly tho the cadence of these lines and the material itself sync up perfectly. It’s such powerful writing

This entire scene is stuffed to the brim with dread and turbulence, and it’s so lifelike, I feel it’s haunting. The way you describe the suffocating atmosphere of the car ride, how Sasuke snaps at Sakura for simply knowing that something is up, the awkwardness of the dinner… You really brought so much passion into these scenes, I feel like I’m being tortured right with them lol

I looooooove the drama of this playing out omg. The way you have this convo go down is like a punch to the gut. Sakura announcing her acceptance to Harvard, and then her refusal to go. Sasuke knowing he’s the reason why…the guilt…the anger…

Also omfg these lines:

Sasuke hardened his resolve and stiffly said, “No. I don’t need you, Sakura.”

’Yes, I do.’

Sakura shook her head, “Yes, you do.”

I DIED. Sakura callin’ him out on his bull shit I fucking LOST IT lmaooOOooo I love this so much and I love how you write their dynamic! It’s funny how this fic plays into a lot of romantic clichés but also subverts them—gives them a twist that knocks the reader right off their feet. It’s honestly incredible

I loved the way you brought in winter into this scene too. The image of it, the feel of it, the terrible, lonely tone. It suits the entire mood of it all.

This is going to sound super dumb but I genuinely love how much agency you give Sakura btw. You probably know I’m a raging, batshit feminist by now and I gotta say, her dialogue is consistently powerful and reeks of someone who knows who they are, and their worth, even when in the fallout of a relationship where they are getting the short end of the stick. Like I’m just sitting here reading “Sasuke, you dumb jackass, what are you doing” lmfaoooo LIKE GURL I WOULD TREAT U SO GOOD…. SAKU BB IM SO SORRY BUT ALSO TRUST I KNOW HOW IT BE

I really do love it. And I love how you wrote Sakura as an orphan too. It really flips the script on the canon material (eat shit, kishimoto!! Women can have trauma and real backstories not centered around men, u misogynistic pile of adskjfhsklhfalkd) I just feel she’s very well written, and tangible, and powerfully human. I’d be just as smitten as Sasuke tbh

The last scene is so upsetting… it’s also strangely warming too though. It’s terrible Sasuke’s been broken down like this, but there’s something about this scene where he feels raw, and expresses his pain in a very infantile way, literally crying out to his mother about how it hurts. I really feel he’s been stripped of not just his life, but himself, under the weight of Itachi’s death and all that’s come with it, and it makes my heart ache. I loved this chapter, in all it’s infinite sadness.

Part II

He closed his eyes and thought about his talk with his father earlier, “We’re okay now. He called me while I was with Itachi.”

Love the ease and depth of this single line of dialogue. How Itachi is not alive but is still with him, and how it speaks to the way we humans grieve and the continuity and strength of relationships even after someone leaves. It’s just very simple and human, and it popped out at me.

He couldn’t even remember the last time they talked on the phone, or the last time he heard Fugaku as a father, not as the Uchiha patriarch.

Uggghhhhhhh this is exactly how I felt Fugaku was like in canon too. This fic is just full of brilliance, I really adore the way you describe all the relationships, but the complexity between Sasuke’s and Fugaku’s is really striking to me. You nail it perfectly.

And this whole intro where Fugaku apologizes to Sasuke and tells him he is proud…. I feel as if a major levee has been broken. While he’s in front of Itachi’s grave too. This Sasuke really has that same parallel with the one in canonverse where I feel he is held back by his family trauma, family obligations, the weight of blood. And this scene feels like a breaking point. Where Sasuke can be a man instead of an Uchiha, in the same way Fugaku gives him this moment as a father instead of an Uchiha patriarch. It certainly feels like a cleansing of sorts.

Once you thought you’re over it, one pink-haired beacon of spring will bloom in your eternal winter and blow all your progress into next week. What a woman. He will never find anyone better.

AaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA !!!! this IS what I mean!!! His inner thoughts of her ugh….i’m so weak…Sasuke you lovesick fool…. And the return of the beautiful seasons motif. I love this so much

You can say they were drunk — with liquor, with each other, with love.

I just adore this line. It really emphasizes the vibe of their past relationship and the picture as a whole, and just that electric feeling of being consumed with someone. The description and cadence of it is just really catching, and I love it

God, this entire scene. Damn, maren. It’s criminal how well you write the tension of such a casual conversation. It feels as if an interrogation of sorts is occurring, and yet it’s still a heartwarming kind. Sakura is not vicious or mal-intentioned in inquiries and yet it still leaves Sasuke weak and defenseless if only because of his feelings for her. There’s so many ways you assert it too. It’s in every line, every detail. This one in particular stood out to me:

Sasuke clenched his fist under the table and scoffed, “I hope my mother didn’t tell you how miserable I was.”

'Still am,’ he corrected in his mind. 'How miserable I still am.’

I remember you used this particular tactic when also describing Itachi’s feelings from Sasuke’s POV. (Something along the lines of how he does became how he did because he is gone) In this fic where time is moving back and forward in a non-linear fashion, these details are especially striking. Despite the changes and pushes and pull, this one fact is consistent—Sasuke loves Sakura. And we, as readers, relearn it with every line.

Also I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOvE that Mikoto saw Sakura off, and that there is this undertone of a bond. Like ughhhhh I’ve so been there, where there’s that depth of understanding between women and relationships that men don’t always know about or know how to grapple with it. My ex resented me for it lmfao

Adkjfasklfalsjdkfakls SASUKE CAN RELATE TO HIM APPARENTLY AHAHAHAAHHA B SNAPPEDDDD I totally get it though, it’s a little intrusive of Sakura to ask for that, but we all also know why she did. Poor saku bb is in love with this emotionally constipated idiot lmao. Oh I love the endless pining and miscommunication of it all !!!

“I thought you’d be here,” a voice came and knocked on the closed door of his heart. He turned his face towards it, he saw her and suddenly his doors came opening again.

The winter sun was directly behind her, giving her this eerie glow. Like a nymph; a spring nymph being born in his perpetual winter. He shivered inside.

Back at it again with that seasonal motif !!!! ugh you are killing me. I also really loved the phrase “knocked on the closed door of his hear.” You really have such a way with these metaphors and images, it’s so striking and makes the narrative of this piece so brilliant

and silence is a comfortable companion back then. When they became lovers, it was like their platonic third-wheel aside from Naruto.

Ngl I busted out laughing on that one. “aside from Naruto” hahaaaa I love the way you include him in this fic tbh. He’s not a very big focus, but he still feels like an integral part of this story, not just as Sasuke’s best friend, but also as another device to unite Sasuke and Sakura. Also he’s pretty fantastic comic relief, probably just as much for the two of them as for the reader.

I really love the way this convo goes down, and the change of scenery from the coffee shop to the playground. Considering the way their love at this point is founded in nostalgia (and perhaps something else, but let’s ignore that for a second) it’s so fitting for them to finally stripping away the masks and cloaks and being genuine with one another—Sakura talking about how she knew all along, and Sasuke finally admitting he still loves her.

I also loved that Karin broke off the engagement!!!!!! And how she did it and how you described it ughghhghg I love this. You really spoke to her character growth and development in canon too. It’s trivial compared to everything else that’s going on, but I love it.

…the pink of her hair, the green of her irises and the gold of the sun slowly setting down behind her.

Sasuke couldn’t see her clearly anymore, only the faint glow of her weeping eyes and the halo on her head made by the sun.

You think you’re slick don’t you…you think you’re some kind of mastermind with these subtle references/images…..well guess what bitch….YOU ARE

I looooove how you tied the music back in. Ugh this departure!! MY HEART!!! Also I’m seeing a handful of songs I love including OUR BOIIIII !!!! rex orange county uhhghhgjak maren this is the romance of a lifetime I AM WEAK

Ughh the forehead kiss…..that was so sweet. I loved Sakura’s choice to give him that bit of affection. This scene is so beautifully intimate, despite their positions.

Omg I FINISHED HOLY SHIT!!! And Sasuke doesn’t get back with her! Wow! Honestly, as much as my shipper heart is like, violently frothing at the mouth and saying “okay they totally got back together down the line tho like THEY HAD TO THEY ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER WHAT IS TH—" I actually have such a deep appreciation for this ending. Their relationship in this almost feels dream-like, and with the way the story unfolds, even if they still loved each other in the end (and I really don’t doubt that they do. We don’t have Sakura’s perspective, but we also don’t need it. the affections are clear) it doesn’t mean they will end up together or are even really suited for each other in such a way.

Their love in this actually really reminds me of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Have you seen that movie? I just really get that vibe at the end. This entire romance cuts very deep and is very passionate and leaves me feeling so whimsical. I really loved this story, Maren… thank you for sharing it with all of us. thank you for writing it. You’re really one of a kind and you and this story has my whole heart <333

Also I’m sorry this is so late, but when I said I am going to write you a review, what I meant was I am going to write you a review. This English degree is good for nothing but sending elaborate love letters to friends and writers in the form of literary analyses and stupid overreactions and BY GOD I WILL NOT LET THIS CRIPPLING COLLEGE DEBT GO TO WASTE !!!

#sasusaku #ss fanfiction #ik its been like a year im sorry #but ily and ur my fav 5evr pls marry me maren my love

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raitrolling · 5 years

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100 Random Character Development Questions: Katrin

(taken from here.)

001. When is their birthday? June 21st.

002. Do they do anything to celebrate their birthday? No, she would’ve told people when her birthday was in the past in hope that maybe they’d give her presents or treat her to food and all that, but nowadays she doesn’t bother.

003. Does your character like coffee better, or tea? She doesn’t drink either, but if she had to choose between the two she’d go for coffee.

004. Do they prefer being alone or with others? Alone. As much as she desires company and wants people to be around her, she feels like she brings people down and sours the mood so she chooses to isolate herself.

005. Are they in good health? No. She usually skips meals, and if she does end up eating something it’s usually cheap junk food or whatever she can take from her friends’ kitchens. She’s also very dependent on alcohol as a means to ‘function’, but she won’t admit she has an addiction.

006. What sense do they most rely on? Probably sight? Her psiionics require her to see the danger first before they can activate, but that’s because she’s unaware of how they actually work.

007. Is your character an optimist or a pessimist? She wants to be optimistic and hope that everything will work out how she wants it to, but she’s learned that that never happens.

008. What is their favorite fairy tale? She likes a lot of fairy tales, but I feel like Cinderella would be one of her favourites. She’s still waiting for that fairy godmother to give her a beautiful ballgown and slippers so she can dance with a prince and make them fall in love with her.

009. Do they believe in happy endings? She used to, but now she’s not sure if she’ll get one.

010. Do they believe in love at first sight? See above.

011. How would your character court the person of their dreams? Very slowly and hesitantly, with a lot of withdrawing herself from them because she doesn’t think she deserves their love. I don’t think she’s fully sworn off dating, but more that her first thought once she starts feeling comfortable around others and considering the idea of courting them is “how do I get out of this before I end up tricking them into loving me”. If she did end up getting over her issues and try to court the person of her dreams, it would probably involve a lot of cliche romance movie garbage. You know the stuff.

012. What makes your character embarrassed? Does existing count. She gets flustered by any sort of flirting/romantic gestures. Despite how much she’s changed over the years, she still blushes redder than a tomato if someone were to compliment her in a particularly suave way. Also people reading her fiction, but that makes everyone embarrassed.

013. Have they ever been bullied or teased? I feel like calling “stalked and antagonised for over a sweep by someone who was obsessed with getting into her quadrants and didn’t take no for an answer, even going as far as attacking her and leaving her for dead on multiple occasions” bullying or teasing would be putting it far too lightly.

014. Detail one secret shame your character feels. Does existing count. Obviously how she dealt with breaking up with her ex-matesprit is her biggest shame, but her past relationships in general are something she feels very guilty about. She broke up with her ex-kismesis because she felt like she was using him solely to keep a certain stalker out of her black quadrant, and couldn’t tell if she truly hated him like a kismesis should. She lost contact with her moirail because she started feeling guilty that she was always getting into trouble and making him worry about her, and she doesn’t even know if he’s still alive. She genuinely believes that she’s a terrible person for being unable to keep a relationship and ruining other people’s lives for not loving them enough. And because she’s unlikely to open up about her past quadrants, when it comes to finding new quadrants she’s going to be constantly harbouring the guilt that she’s hiding secrets from someone she’s supposed to be open with.

015. Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? Fists. Or, more accurately, bringing out her strife weapon the moment she starts feeling threatened.

016. What is their choice of weapon? Knives, both of the throwing and stabbing variety. Though she mostly just ends up stealing kitchen / cutlery knives from other people’s hives.

017. When does your character think that violence is justified or deserved? She thinks it’s unfair that people (read: herself) get targeted for seemingly no reason, but she keeps quiet about it. She understands that as a lowblood, it’s expected that she has to deal with highbloods acting unfairly.

018. Your character wakes up to find that war has been declared. What do they do? Same as she does every night: drink and hope she doesn’t die. In all honesty, she wouldn’t be concerned about it at all. She’s become quite apathetic towards most things.

019. If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? The ability to go back in time and redo everything she’s ever regretted doing.

020. What are their hobbies? Alcohol is not a hobby Katrin please get some help. She writes self-insert fiction where she’s this amazing Mary Sue who can do no wrong and defeats everyone she hates and everyone she likes falls in love with her. She also likes reading comic books, but they’re pretty difficult for her to get her hands on. She likes most female superheroes (both Marvel and DC), as well as Rocket Raccoon because raccoons lmao.

021. How do they display affection? Physical affection is basically reserved solely for her quadrants. She likes cuddling up to people, as well as holding hands / wrapping her arms around their arm. She also likes to sit on people’s laps, but then she gets embarrassed by how close she is to them. When it comes to her friends, she’s a lot more distant in terms of physical affection, but she shows her affection by just sorta, being there. She’s the kind of person who’d just silently offer an umbrella if they’re caught in the rain, or push some food closer to them if she happens to be eating something.

022. What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? I could go for the sappy answer and say her ex-matesprit, or I could go for the joke answer and say a wallet stuffed with cash or a very expensive bottle of alcohol, but honestly? I don’t think Katrin could really pin down what the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen is. These days, I don’t think she considers anything beautiful.

023. What do they consider beautiful in others physically? If her past and current relationships are any indication, she really likes well-dressed men lmao. But I don’t think she really has any particular physical traits she considers to be beautiful, apart from just general traits like ‘tall’, ‘handsome’, ‘rich’, and I guess just anyone she could see looking the part of a prince in her stories.

024. What do they consider ugly in others physically? Again, I don’t think she has any physical traits she’d consider to be ugly either? She might find people to be average looking or just not her type based on looks alone, but she doesn’t consider other people to be particularly ugly.

025. What do they consider beautiful in others personality-wise? She’s weak for princely / gentlemanly types lmao. But more generally, I suppose people who are kind and helpful for no particular reason other than they think it’s good to help others (read: help her specifically). The kinds of people who treat others nicely without expecting the same back. Although, all these traits she finds beautiful stem from her own selfish desires to be loved / catered to / provided for, even when she doesn’t deserve it or return the favour. As much as she feels guilty taking advantage of other people’s kindness, she’s definitely predisposed to do it regardless.

026. What do they consider ugly in others personality-wise? People who are over-controlling, people who don’t take no for an answer / don’t listen to her in general, people who are overly cruel for no clear reason, people who constantly don’t let her get her way… Essentially everything her past abuser was.

027. What is their idea of perfect happiness? A fairy tale ending. All the bad guys are defeated, the girl gets the prince in the end and becomes a princess adored by everyone, and they lived happily ever after.

028. What makes them laugh out loud? Nothing…? She’s not really the type of person to do that, and I can’t really see her laughing at something that hard.

029. What sort of sense of humor does your character have? In all honesty I find it difficult to picture her with a particular sense of humour. She might chuckle at things she finds amusing, which is usually just the antics of other people that she’s not directly involved with (such as a friend playing a prank on another person, or if she sees a stranger trip on something). She prefers to watch other people do funny things, rather than do the funny things (or hear people say funny things) herself.

030. Do they believe in the afterlife? She’s never really considered what happens after you die, but for the most part, no. Dying is just… Being dead, she supposes.

031. Are they superstitious about anything? Not particularly? I can’t recall if she has any superstitions or believes in forces beyond her control (i.e. fate or destiny). She has a familiarity with spirits existing because of Mauban, but even then she’s not particularly interested in finding out what they do or even if they’re real.

032. Does your character believe in ghosts? She knows they probably exist since one of her friends goes ghost-hunting, but she’s not exactly interested in finding out more about it. Ideas such as certain places being haunted or spirits possessing things don’t really cross her mind.

033. Do they keep their promises? For the most part she does, but it depends on the promise. She’ll keep simple promises, but if it’s anything related to trying to better herself (i.e. promise to cut down on drinking, promise to stop stealing from the cash register at work, etc.), she’ll fail at it. She’s knows it’s bad and she’s doing the wrong thing, but she’ll still do it because of the short-term satisfactions those vices bring.

034. What’s their view of lying? She’s prone to lying, but she’ll feel betrayed if people lie to her. She justifies her own lying as doing it to help / protect others or not make them concerned for her.

035. What is the most important rule your character lives by? None? I don’t think she lives by any particular rules or even moral codes, she just does what she thinks is best at the time.

036. How honourable is your character? Typically not very, but that doesn’t mean she won’t feel bad if she takes the cowardly / less honourable option. She does what she can to survive and get out of dangerous situations, even if that means leaving other people in behind. She’s not actively malicious about it, she just doesn’t consider the consequences most of the time.

037. If your character saw someone drop a large sum of money and knew that they could probably take it without anyone noticing, what would they do? She’d steal it in a heartbeat are you kidding me lMAO.

038. What bad habits do they have? Drinking to excess, isolating herself from others, sabotaging her own relationships, and picking at loose threads on her sleeves and scarf.

039. What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? Everything she’s done to her past quadrants.

040. What is their obsession? Money. She’s not as obsessed as, say, Velour (and definitely not frugal like he is), but getting rich is always on her mind and her primary goal in life.

041. Are they comfortable with technology? For the most part, yeah. She’s by no means a tech whiz and doesn’t have a particular interest in technology, but she’s at least competent at working with what she’s got (which is essentially just a phone, computer, and an old television). She used to tinker with electronics before she got involved with her thieving ‘business’ (which mostly just boiled down to taking things apart, replacing stuff people said were broken, and then putting it back together), but since that job lead to the Stalker Incident she can’t do it anymore without getting anxious.

042. What is their greatest achievement? Under the mentorship and assistance of Izuili, she’s probably pulled off some pretty daring thieving stunts. On her own, she doesn’t have any notable achievements.

043. What will they stand up for? She might quietly try to stand up for a close friend or quadrant if they were getting harassed/bullied by someone else, but otherwise nothing. She’s too shy and cowardly to stick up for anyone, including herself.

044. What disgusts them? Other than ‘general gross things pretty much everyone is disgusted by’, I can’t think of anything in particular?

045. Does your character have any chronic medical conditions? No physical ailments, but she does have a couple unchecked + undiagnosed mental illnesses (namely depression, anxiety, and an alcohol addiction).

046. How do they handle getting sick? She doesn’t really get sick, but she’d handle it the same way she handles most problems: lying on the couch and trying to pretend it doesn’t exist. She gets a little mopey(-er than usual), and she can’t afford medication apart from real cheap OTC cold & flu tablets, so she just accepts she’s going to be out of action and feeling like shit for the next couple of weeks.

047. What was the last medical problem your character had? Does a hangover count as a medical problem? Otherwise, probably getting injured as a result of her thieving exploits. Nothing too serious.

048. Do they have any allergies? Nope.

049. How does your character feel about growing old? She’s a redblood, she’s going to die young. She’s never really thought about what it’d be like to grow old because she knows she’s never going to actually reach that point. Hell, I don’t think she’s even thought about what it’d be like to live past ten sweeps.

050. How does your character feel about their own mortality? See above. She’s fairly accepting that she won’t live long. That’s just what redbloods do.

051. If they knew they would die tomorrow, what would they do today? The exact same things she does every other day. As much as she regrets her past and feels guilt over things she’s done, she doesn’t seem much point to trying to rectify them if she knows she’s going to die the next day. It wouldn’t change anything, except maybe make more people sad that she’s dead.

052. What is your character’s worst flaw? Her tendency to isolate herself from others with barely any provocation (apart from her mind going ‘ok we’re getting too close and that’s Bad’), and her inability to open up about anything that’s upsetting / hurting her because she doesn’t want to burden others.

053. What is your character’s greatest strength? Despite everything, she’s still weirdly tenacious. Even if she gives up on something and swears to never come back, she’ll always end up trying again at some point. She might not be good at things and she might constantly fuck up and make the wrong decisions, but she’ll still come back and try, try again.

054. Does your character want power or authority of any kind? Not really, she just wants to be rich. All money, no responsibilities.

055. Is your character an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert.

056. Has your character ever struck someone in anger? Not out of anger, but definitely out of fear. She can get stabby when threatened, or her immediate response is to fight back if someone tries to touch her. She’s been hurt too many times to trust people.

057. Has your character ever killed anyone? Not intentionally or knowingly. She’s attacked / injured people before while mugging them and they’ve died later as a result, but she’s never actually seen someone die because of her actions. She always runs away beforehand.

058. What is your character’s idea of a perfect day? A day where everything goes right for once, whether that be she succeeds at stealing something without repercussions, her boss and/or mentor tells her she did a good job for once, she doesn’t make herself sick from drinking too much, she eats at least two meals that day, and maybe she actually falls asleep in her recuperacoon instead of passing out on the couch. It’s the little things.

059. List several phrases your character is fond of uttering. Where did they pick them up? She says “I guess” so much that’s it’s practically become a verbal tic, I guess. She didn’t pick it up from anywhere (or anyone), but she’s always been someone who's never been sure of herself, and that lack of confidence is apparent in the way she speaks. She never speaks in absolutes, and never commits to anything either.

060. What is your character’s attitude toward education and learning? She did all the usual schoolfeeding stuff most trolls go through, but she never felt much of a desire to keep learning outside of that. She sees it as a necessity in order to function in society, but she has no particular academic interests. In AUs were formal schooling is required (such as human AU), she skips classes a lot and ends up dropping out as soon as she’s able to.

061. Does your character prefer adventure or safety and security? Definitely safety and security, but there’s something about the riskiness of thieving that prevents her from stopping. There’s a thrill to being able to pull off something dangerous and illegal and getting away scot-free that staying at home or doing honest work just doesn’t have, you know?

062. What sort of legacy does your character wish to leave behind? She doesn’t care about that. She has no interest in making some sort of legacy for herself, and since lowbloods are kept in the dark about their ancestors’ legacies, isn’t aware of past exploits of the Rissah bloodline. Even if she was, she wouldn’t care to follow in her ancestor’s footsteps. She’s not interested in rebellion like The Advocate was.

063. How well does your character handle difficult people? She can get snippy at people if they annoy her, but she’ll put up with it until she has an opportunity to get away with them. After that, she can only pray they get the hint and stay away from her for good.

064. In what ways does your character annoy others? Does existing count. She can be very frustrating to deal with due to her refusal to say what’s bothering her and tendency to close herself off emotionally as soon as she starts befriending people, but also her refusal to change herself when she’s making stupid or even actively harmful decisions. People are more likely to give up on it and just deal with her stupid bullshit, rather than confront her about it. She surrounds herself with a lot of enablers.

065. Is your character better at leading or following? Which do they prefer? Definitely following for both. While she likes to picture herself as a leader, even she knows it’s a silly daydream and she’s completely incapable of it. She’d rather let other people do the leading, and then decide what parts she wants to follow.

066. Does your character prefer city life or being out in nature? The city life is all she knows, though she’d rather live in the actual nice part of the city rather than in the lowblood district. As quiet and peaceful as living in the countryside / out in nature sounds, you can’t exactly make a lucrative thieving career when your only neighbours are hundreds of kilometres away.

067. Does your character believe in fate or destiny? If fate and destiny exist, then she must be fated to be unhappy, she’d assume.

068. How strong is your character’s sense of responsibility? What kinds of things trigger it? Almost nonexistent. She really only shows up to work because she supposes that she has to, and even then she’ll often show up late or not do much aside from being a thorn in Barsho’s side. When it comes to small responsibilities (such as keeping her hive clean or buying someone a gift), she’ll either forget entirely or put it off until she starts feeling bad about not being able to keep her shit together.

069. What about your character is heroic? I wouldn’t classify her as heroic, but she’s not an outright villain. She’s selfish and generally thinks about herself before she thinks about others, but she’ll typically do the right or good thing if she believes that’s the best option. She regrets when she does the wrong thing and hurts others, but a lot of the time she ends up unintentionally doing the worst thing in any situation. She’s by no means hero material, but she’s at least not trying to be the bad guy.

070. What about your character is cowardly? Cowardice runs in her veins. Fleeing situations is her primary instinct, even if that means putting other people in danger. She won’t face people if she’s scared that they’re angry or upset with her, and avoids confrontations as much as she can. She struggles to apologise even if she knows she’s in the wrong, because she worries that people will hate her. In situations where she’s backed into a corner with barely any chance of survive, she’d just accept that it’s time to lay down and die.

071. How kind is your character? I mean, she often doesn’t show it, and she thinks she’s a genuinely unkind person, but she tries. She’s a lot kinder than she believes herself to be, and definitely isn’t maliciously hurting others.

072. In a Dungeons & Dragons game, which class would your character be? (wizard, fighter, bard, priest, ranger, etc.) Some sort of rogue/thief? I’m sure there’d be a more specific class that fits her, but I don’t play D&D or really know much about it.

073. In a novel, what plot role would your character fill? (hero, anti-hero, sidekick, villain, etc.) Well I mean in Sgrub AU she’s a villain. I find it hard to picture her as any sort of archetype, but I could see her as being the type of person in a multi-protagonist / multi-POV type story who appears as a minor character in most chapters, and maybe ends up with a chapter or two dedicated to her own story. She’s not really protagonist material, and I wouldn’t really call her a sidekick or supporting cast member either. She just kinda… Exists.

074. What is your character’s favorite game? She doesn’t play video games or board / card games of any sort, but I could see her enjoying those kinds of party games where you write a sentence on a piece of paper (or names + places for the first part), fold it over, and then pass it around the group until you end up with a completed nonsensical story. I dunno what it’s called, but I used to play a variant called ‘he said, she said’ back in highschool.

075. Is your character ticklish? Probably, but you’d get stabbed if you tried to find out.

076. How do they express anger? She becomes a lot more terse, somehow managing to speak even less than usual. She resorts to short, snappy sentences and will try to mumble less. She also tends to clench her fists or grip whatever she happens to be holding tighter than before. She very rarely yells or gets overly emotional, but if she does, you know it’s bad.

077. How often do they cry? Over what? She tries to not cry and hates crying, but she does it a lot more than she should. She cries whenever people are kind to her because it reminds her of how unkind she is, she cries whenever people remind her of her ex-matesprit because it reminds her of how she hurt him, and she just cries a lot in general nowadays. She wishes she never became this bad, she used to be a lot stronger than this.

078. How emotionally stable is your character? The closest she gets to stability these days is becoming completely numb and apathetic to most thing occurring around her, so essentially she has no emotional stability whatsoever.

079. How easy is it for them to read the emotions of others? About average? Though she has a tendency to make assumptions about others and expect the worst from them, but also puts certain people on a pedestal and disregards their feelings in favour of what she assumes they must be feeling. She’d be better at read the emotions of others if she didn’t get clouded by her own judgments.

080. How easy is it for others to read your character’s emotions? She’s very difficult for other people to read. She spends most of her time in her own head, so when she finally does say something out loud or do something, it can seem almost nonsensical and at times even out-of-character because she’s made no indication of how she came to this particular conclusion. Even people close to her have a hard time understanding her, and she prefers to keep it that way. She doesn’t like clueing people in to how she’s feeling, because that might make them worry about her.

081. Is your character religious? Nope.

082. What are your character’s sleeping preferences? She drinks until she passes out most nights. She very rarely sleeps in her recuperacoon as a result, but even when she does go to bed in a somewhat sober state, she’ll often opt to sleep on the couch instead because she doesn’t feel up for walking all the way to her bedroom. Though, while she’s not consciously aware of the exact reason, her unwillingness to let herself get a good night’s sleep does stem from her self-sabotaging habits. It’s one of the ways to prevent herself from being happy when she knows that people she’s hurt definitely aren’t sleeping well that night either.

083. What is the first thing they say and/or do when they wake up? She checks her phone to see if she’s put a reminder that she’s working that day and, regardless of whether or not she’s supposed to get up for work, proceeds to either stare at the ceiling or doze for another hour or so. Then at some point she’ll get up and make herself a bowl of cereal. Because that’s the only thing in her cupboard.

084. Describe your character in one word. Sad.

085. Describe your character in three words. Self-sabotaging, sorrowful, apathetic.

086. How would your character describe themself in one word? Pathetic.

087. How would your character describe themself in three words? Guilty, manipulative, uncaring.

088. Is your character quiet or loud? Quiet. Even on the rare occasions she get angry or yells she’s still not particularly loud.

089. How vocally expressive is your character? She keeps to herself a lot, and doesn’t voice the vast majority of her thoughts. She tends to speak to people with short, vague, and unemotive answers, and isn’t exactly capable of keeping a conversation going. She comes off as being disinterested in talking as a result.

090. How bodily expressive is your character? Again, not that much. You can get a good idea of how she’s feeling or what she’s thinking based on her facial expressions and how much eye contact she’s giving, but otherwise you have to rely on small tells to understand her. She picks at the thread of her scarf or sleeves when she’s nervous, she’ll clench her fist or grit her teeth when she’s annoyed, and if she’s looking everywhere except straight at you, you know she’s looking for a way out.

091. What type of music does your character like? She’s not really that big on music, so it’s mostly limited to whatever she hears if she listens to the radio. She likes listening to songs being played on piano, particularly when Klavir plays something.

092. What emotion does your character evoke in others? She seems to be really good at making people pity her for some reason. I guess she just reeks of patheticness lmao.

093. What is your character’s goal in life? Get rich, and hopefully don’t die trying but she can’t make any guarantees.

094. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to know. She’s pretty knowledgeable when it comes to the lore of her favourite superheroes (though only their comic incarnations), she knows quite a bit about fashion design + popular trends from working at Barsho’s boutique despite not having much of an interest in fashion, and she knows how to juggle knives.

095. Name three things most would not expect your character to be able to do. She’s surprisingly really good at parkour even without formal training because her psiionics help give her the time needed to react to fast-paced escapades, she’s good at sewing buttons and other finicky / detailed projects due to a previous job (though anything related to electronics / technology makes her too anxious to keep her hands steady), and she’d actually be a decent writer if she worked on making original characters (other than self-inserts of herself + her friends) and didn’t feel the need to shoehorn bad smut to make people interested in it. She has the heart and passion, just not as much technical expertise as she should.

096. How do they move and carry themselves? What energy do they project? Quietly. She tries to blend into the background and not draw attention to herself much, especially if she’s got the intent to steal something (even if it’s as simple as just trying to stealthily take a knife off a table to slip into her modus). She usually doesn’t want people to notice her, and when she’s will others she doesn’t want to do anything to spoil the mood so she’ll tend to keep quiet.

097. How well do they adapt to change? She might not like it, but she knows she has to accept it. Even if it’s something she really hates and wants to fix it so badly, she knows she’s powerless to change it back to how it was. In a rare instance where she is capable of gaining the power to fix any changes she doesn’t like (such as the Sgrub AU), then she’d do everything she could to right the wrongs a change has made.

098. Does your character like animals? She likes raccoons because that’s her lusus, but she also has a liking for other sorts of rodents (incl. creatures that are associated with rodents but aren’t actually rodents). She likes Soroll’s lusus.

099. Do they talk to inanimate objects? Nope.

100. Does your character dream? If so, what do they dream about? She does (on the occasions she doesn’t black out from drinking too much), but she never remembers her dreams. She has nightmares related to past events in her life, but apart from the initial shock from waking up from a nightmare they don’t bother her as much as they used to. She’s used to them by now.

#headcanon #katrin rissah #holy shit i finally finished it #if u wanna see all these answered for other character lmk (tho dont expect them any time soon cuz this was literally like 4hrs+ work)#also sorry mobile users cuz this shit is Long #i tried to format it in a way that it takes as least amount of space as possible w/o becoming a wall of text #but yknow. theres literally 100 questions here so theres not much else i could do rip #anyway heres my Gorl who i love but also hate. uve done so much but u frustrate me so

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