#so.... uhm id just like for my ex to .... not message me. i dont think he understands why i follow his instagram its not because i wanna | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

danieltrent · 6 years

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4, 10, 12, 17, 19, 25, 26, 34, 36, 40, 41, 45, 56, 60, 64?

thanks sweet anon. i should really be finishing off this other message to t but whatever, this can come first.

4.What is your favorite word?pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

10.What were you doing at midnight last night?uhm, probably watching the first half of Fracture (2007), it’s about this guy who killed his wife and basically confesses and it’s really obvious and everything, but then everything is inadmissable. main reason i came across it was because Ryan Gosling is actually a pretty decent actor when he’s not a “pretty boy”.

12.Who told you they loved you last?probably my dad? i cant remember why, he just does at the end of some calls and stuff. it was a couple weeks ago or something.

17.You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?assuming i have to press the button? because im not sure if i would, given the choice (although my apathy to death makes that a wildcard so who knows). but if I had to, I’d go for ex-douche hands down. easy.

19.If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?you know.

but anyway, donald trump, and id command him to permanently and everlastingly shut the hell up.

25.You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?see, do I have to spend it? because realistically, I’d keep it in my pocket, when I get home I’d empty my pockets onto my bedside table, the note would get buried under the other stuff there, and I’d rediscover it ages later.

but no, assuming I have to spend it that day? i might get that computer mouse I’ve been planning to get for like, two years now. which happens to be in the close vicinity of $100.

26.You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?uh, just visiting? Manchester, for sure. i miss those guys and i think itd be nice to spend some time with them again - although one of the main guys are in Italy at the moment so hopefully I’m there long enough for him to get back.

34.What was your last dream about?i dunno, last night was a bit vague, and i didnt like it (possibly because its why i slept in). also, daydreams dont count as dreams so im not doing that.

36.Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?yeah! when i was like 6 or 7 when i was at soccer training for this nearby club, one of the other kids accidentally kicked the ball into my chest, i got winded and passed out for a minute or something. they checked me into the hospital just to check that everything was fine.

other than that, I’ve been to A&E in Manchester (Accidents & Emergencies) when I was having some breathing problems as a side effect of my antidepressants. i turned out perfectly fine, but it involved waking a friend up at 3am to walk with me to the hospital just in case. that was nice.

40.Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?neither really, or whatever turns out better on a camera? i dont appreciate views unless it looks good as a photo. you can be as annoyed as you want about that, that’s just how i appreciate my surroundings. but sunsets probably look better - I took a really good shot of a sunset at Asila, Morocco.

41.What is your favorite milkshake flavor?i dunno, i dont really have one, and it depends on my mood? I like banana or mango milkshakes if i want a fruity one, or cookies and cream if i want a sweeter one.

45.If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?one thing? because that’s a good toss up between my skin condition (””””eczema””””) and depression, with my hearing problem and my all-but-confirmed ADD running up.

56.What do you like on your toast?i dunno? i dont really have toast with anything often. butter? or peanut butter and jam? but that’s better on untoasted bread.

60.Do you believe in aliens?yeah, course i believe in myself.

64.What do you think about babies?“ohhh my god that baby is so cute!” “shes beautiful!” like, sure, but i dont see it. but then again, this dude (me) has way too many feelings when they shouldn’t be there, and no feelings where its normal to have them.

#ask #anon #sweet anon #about me

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jeonpotato · 6 years

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GET TO KNOW ME TAG

I was tagged by @jeonsminssi 🖤

THE LAST…

-Drink: Water (welp its the only drink i drink)

-Phone call: My sister (lol i had to check my phone for this cause i rarely get calls and she was looking for me cause i was lost)

-Text message: My mom (again i was lost, and i dont really text lmao)

-Song you listened to: Me Without You by Sam Tsui (im literally listening now)

-Time you cried: a while ago

-Dated someone twice: nope

-Kissed someone and regretted it: hmmm, not really?

-Been cheated on: nope

-Lost someone special: yep

-Been depressed: I'm not diagnosed but-

-Gotten drunk and thrown up: OKAY BUT I NEVER GET DRUNK??? I want so badly to get drunk cause I wanna know how I am drunk BUT I JUST NEVER DO???

Three favorite colors: black, purple, blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

-Made new friends: uhm well, i got new college friends cause my last group of college friends fucked me up lol

-Laughed until you cried: nope

-Found out that someone was talking about you: yep all the time

-Met someone who changed you: uhm, i think so

-Found out who your friends are: uhm, maybe?

-Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: well my ex lol

-Do you have a any pets?: i don't even know how to take care of myself lol

-Do you want to change your name?: all the goddamn time

-What did you do for your last birthday?: I ate late lunch with my friends and family.

-What time did you wake up?: I don't even know anymore. I have an on/off sleep all the time.

-What what you were you doing at midnight last night?: Twitter, Tumblr, Youtube, Ao3. Take your pick.

-Name something you can’t wait for: to die? to move out? whichever comes first really

-When was the last time you saw your mom?: before she slept

-What are you listening to right now?: Halsey- Eyes Closed

-Have you ever talked to someone named Tom?: yeah, my dad. Which I never wish to talk to lol

-Something that gets on your nerves?: a looooot. I have a temper problem so

-Most visited website: twitter lol

-Hair colour: black with hints of blue

-Long or short hair: SHORT

-Do you have a crush on someone?: nope

-What do you like about yourself?: idk, nothing probably

-Blood type: O

-Nickname: I don't think I have one. Well i do, but it's just a shortcut of my actual name

-Relationship status: Single in a sea of relationships (i wish i was kidding but all my friends in my group literally are taken)

-Zodiac: Cancer

-Pronouns: Her

-Favorite T.V shows: uhm PLL probably

-Tattoos: none BUT I WANT SOME

-Right or left handed: right

-Surgery: nope

-Sport: nope

-Vacation: my bed lol

-Size of shoes: 8-9 (uh ph size?)

-Eating: nothing

-Drinking: nothing

-I’m about to: im waiting for school to get up (and yes im not sleeping lol)

-Waiting for?: nothing really, to die? lol

-Want?: at this point, idek what i want

-Get married?: probably, i need to get a partner first lol

-Career?: Honestly? I want to be a dancer but I trashed that dream a long time ago so whatever my psych degree takes me them

WHICH ONE IS BETTER?

-Hugs or kisses?: hugs. Skin to skin makes me flinch so no kisses

-Lips or eyes?: i like eyes the best

-Shorter or taller?: taller, i guess

-Older or younger?: hmm for a partner, i like older. For a friend, i like both

-Nice arms or stomach?: i have the worst insecurities when it comes to my tummy so id say nice stomach

-Hook up or relationship?: relationship but ill probably be fine with hook ups in the future WHO KNOWS

-Troublemaker or hesitant?: a mixture of both, depending on the mood

-Kissed a stranger?: nope, i cant even flirt to save my life

-Drink hard liquor?: idk, at this point, idek what im drinking anymore s'long as it has alcohol

-Lost glasses/contact lenses?: nope

-Turned someone down?: uh

-Sex on the first date?: nope

-Broken someone’s heart?: I don't think so

-Had a broken heart?: yep

-Been arrested?: nope

-Cried when someone died?: yep

-Fallen for a friend?: my ex was literally one of my closest friends

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

-Yourself?: nah i hate it too much

-Miracles?: nope

-Love at first sight?: like, sure but love? nope

-Santa Claus?: nope

-Kiss on the first date?: nope

uhm so again i dont have tumblr friends so i dunno who to tag but if you read this and wanna do it then THERE youre tagged. lol

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iesharael-blog · 5 years

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1/5/19 Happy New Year

ok im gonna be honest... I dont remember the past 5 days other than i’m sick and can barely breath and i mad the mistake of going to the movies with some friends. i wanted to see mary poppins again so me and 4 friends were gonna go, well after we already planned that, one made me really uncomfortable when he was drunk messaging me and not accepting that i did not want a relationship with him. even going so far as to say he hates my ex simply cause he got me first. so im gonna call these friends A B C (as well as D and E to explain backstory) and explain who they are with a little key so i can give the story without being revealing of identities and what not.

Me - [fem] myself. I’ve know them for a little over 20 years and they tend to be a complete child and was treated as the child of friends back in high school and cared for as such. highly susceptible to emotional manipulation especially from people they trust

A - [fem] my best friend since 5th grade who i fondly refer to as my mama bear. my amazing protector of both physical and emotional battle grounds. the very person who’s house i ran to when i needed time away from my parents to figure things out before asking for therapy.

B - [male] twat i met my junior year who i started calling dad at some point and has since become completely unstable. very egotistical and leaves arguments if he isn’t winning constantly playing the victim card.

C - [male] guy who i was randomly introduced to through his younger brother adding him to a discord server i run as an attempt to shut down my ex for daring to call the unholy texts that are The Harry Potter Series “mediocre” (i also have his phone number randomly cause i used to know his twin) and has been friends with B for a while even going so far as to have a running joke of them being in a relationship even tho they are both straight.

D - [fem] B’s ex who i refer to as step mama and who tends to be fairly motherly towards me

E - [male] dude i was friends with in highschool and who was good friends with B

My Ex - [male] still on very good terms and he is very caring towards me. he tries to make sure im doing whats best for me and not letting anyone manipulate or harm me

ok that was bigger than i expected but im sick im not thinking straight so this gonna be a bit weird and long... ok heres the story:

so im all like “hey i wanna see Mary Poppins again!” and B and C are like yeah lets go! with B immediately stating how he had planned to see it with B before they broke up, already putting a slight damper on the thing but we got past it. a day or two after i end up with me and B agreeing (timestamp 9:30) to message on discord between 11-12 as well as set up a server for us and his little sis to play on. (the wait was for him watching doctor who with his family) so i shower and puzzle and finally with no word by 11:42 i message him asking for when he thinks he will be on to which i get the message “I don’t know I’m really drunk it’s gonna be a blast “... and now a transcript of what followed next copied word for word (well privacy edits) time stamps (and spelling errors) included:

ME Last Sunday at 11:44 PM

but i guess mary poppins day discusion will wait for tomorow

me and your sister agreed on doing ftb sky adventers

B Last Sunday at 11:45 PM

Btw

Hehe

I shouldn’t say it

ME Last Sunday at 11:45 PM

say it

cant say btw then not say it

dick

B Last Sunday at 11:46 PM

Well

Uhm

ME Last Sunday at 11:46 PM

yes?

B Last Sunday at 11:46 PM

I’m unhappy with [MY EX]

Because I was maybe going to ask you out

I can say this because I’m drunk

ME Last Sunday at 11:47 PM

omg lol (in the this is a funniy situation way, not laughing at you)

thought you were repulesed by me? yeesh [B] keep your story straight

after all i did like you a bit before i met [MY EX], but hes always nice and youre... drunk nice

so eta for server mister cassanova?

B Last Sunday at 11:51 PM

No I want to be nice to you sober too but for some reason I get scared so I hide behind lies

Idk a while

Tonight

ME Last Sunday at 11:51 PM

you dont have to be scared, im just shocking

B Last Sunday at 11:52 PM

Well if we go to Mary poppins

Even with [C], who I’d like to be there

Maybe a mini date?

ME Last Sunday at 11:52 PM

no.

B Last Sunday at 11:52 PM

Aqwww

ME Last Sunday at 11:52 PM

sorry but i cant date again not yet

B Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

I’m gonna be sad

ME Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

i told you why me and [MY EX] broke up

B Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

But when I’m sober I’m going to regret most of this

ME Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

its not good for me to be in a relationship rn

B Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

I know

Well

Actually

ME Last Sunday at 11:54 PM

look if things dont work out with [MY EX] once my brain is on the path to fixed then we will see, until then dont wait up for me

B Last Sunday at 11:54 PM

I think you do need to be with at least someone because when you are depressed and thrown out of it you need someone to relate to and talk and make you feel comforted and loved

Time alone isn’t the answer

ME Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

except i have friends for that hon

B Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

Yeah

You dooo

ME Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

you dont need a relationship relationship

i have a [A]

B Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

Well

Is she helping

Are you loved

ME Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

i talk to her about everything mental

i talk to [IRRELEVANT MALE FRIEND] about physical questions

creepy right? well this kept going with me getting more and more uncomfortable and refusing to accept that i dont want a relationship (a quote from B in reference to my ex: “ He might be your daddy, but I’m your daddy” tf? and yes he bolded) to the point that i was just sticking around so hed put a server up for the pack. then a bit before 2 o’clock i say that im gonna get off at 2 cause that when i had planned to, to which he (im not sure if intentionally) manipulated me into staying on till 3 o’clock because he would tell me about a personal thing i was curious about. finally 3 o’clock comes around, we call and i hear the story and once the server is up he tells me hes gonna go play league with some people (note random online people not irl people he supposedly likes) and will be back in 20 mins. i figure what the hay ill wait. 40 mins later he says hes not getting back on... obviously im furious. (screen shot of convo i sent to someone day of to explain without having to retype - im red)

next day comes and im uncomfortable and C ends up buying minecraft so he can play with me on the server, we get in call with a now sober B when he gets on and i confront him about the messages even sharing screens for proof (i learned its best not to 1v1 argue him cause im easy to manipulate) and he claims to not remember it but whenever C is away during the call he says things that sound slightly suggestive. at this point id like to note that i have a full recording of me scrolling through the messages as an unlisted video on my youtube channel and have sent it to people who with no prior suggestion have described it as “rapey” and warned me against him. my ex in particular warned me that i am very susceptible to an abusive relationship rn due to my mental state and that he seemed very unstable. at this i decided to invite A to go to mary poppins too since she would be a good protector of me should anything happen and to have a more familiar presence there.

now here is the juicy part. so D was talking to C where C was complaining how clingy B was becoming and how creepy he was being towards me so she quickly messages me on snap warning me that he is a ‘manipulative possessive jerk who will see me as nothing but an object to conquer and get mad when you are unhappy’ after hearing this i rembered B’s story about D cheating on him with E before D and E got together and started to wonder how true that was. me and D had a lovely conversation following that about my singular past relationship and her current one and blah blah blah.

MOVIE DAY: (C canceled the night before so now it is just me B and A going) we get picked up by A and all seems well with everyone being friendly and B seeming kinda cautious. i think hes regretting the convo so i decide to be nice. the movie was great and we decide to hang in the mall after (i made a build a bear). so while we were hanging at one point he scared me when after he provoked me into my light face wacks (cat play pretty much, wouldnt damage the most fragile ice) he grabs my hand to stop me and me thinking “oooo game fun!” i start to dig my nail into his hand to get let go of but instead of him reacting how i expected (letting go so i can escape) he looks at me with the scariest most serious face ive ever seen and (this part still scares me) says “you dont want to go down this path” he finally lets go and i go sit by the hot topic earing displays while A and B look at buttons then when B sits next to me while A waits to pay he basically called my claw abuse. (like what? you grab my hand hard enough that it hurt when i was doing the same playful banter weve done for years and apparently im the abuser cause i do my standard get away strategy of hurting the hand thats holding me? what did you expect me to do? just comply and calmly stand there with my hand held above y head in yours?) after we leave hottopic we are in the car and somehow we get to the topic of the drunk conversation.

so im talking and trying to explain how uncomfortable he made me( and how i was afraid to be alone around him and how i had been scared remembering that he not only knows where i live but where the spare key is!!!!) and i dare use the word “rapey” ... lets see if i can get a definition for yall but first ill say how i use that word - “rapey. an adjective to describe a situation in which one party becomes uncomfortable and afraid to the point that they feel if this continues they could be raped or otherwise hurt/abused in the future” - and now the second definition from urban dictionary: “Rapey A guy who's creepy, and hugs or kisses inappropriately. He has a rapist lure. You don't think he would do it but definitely gives off that vibe. i.e. creepy hugger at the office.” - now i apparently made a huge error in daring to use that word to describe the conversation where he would not accept me saying no to a relationship (and at one point asked me my ex’s dick size - which i did not give) and continously stated how using words liek that could end up getting him in jail. A and i look at eachother incredulously and try to argue with him a bit but ultimately decide to just get back to the point and bring it back to how uncomfortable i was and how he needs to change his attitude and appologize but he keeps bringing it back to that word. fianlly im close to tears and mutely hugging my yoshi in the front seat and the whole car goes silent. A offers that i sleep over tonight which i decline knowing im sick and need my bed and we talk a bit about my ex and goign out for ramen with him sometime. once i was home i removed B from discord snap and steam and will remove him next time im on league as well. he was removed from my server and i left any i had in common with him. i am done trying to forgive him.

on a brighter note i got sims 4 cause C bought it for me since i couldn't refund his ticket i prepaid for and im learning how to get better from this stupid dry throat. hopefully ill be better by Tuesday so i can go back to work at the library!

thanks for reading! <3

i know this was a long one and probably makes half sense cause of the code letters and the fact that i am writing this while very light headed <3

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